The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Chuck Daly and The New Pistons

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Tom Bombadil, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man, Salaak, Link, Megalon, David Goverde, and Wicket.

Chuck Daly and the New Pistons are Darth Rage, Pipes, Faramir, Piter De Vries, Rhino, Man-Bat, Wario, Dengar, Bill Laimbeer, and Ski Bum.

Chuck Daly’s team arrives at Ford Field, ready to face the Brotherhood of Evil Midgets in this opening round of the First Annual FFL Optional Tournament. This makeshift team of misfits was eager to show everyone that it was a mistake to let them rot on the waiver wire. Unfortunately, this feeling was quickly squashed, literally. Both Pipes and Wario were stepped on by Omega Supreme, who had destroyed part of the roof and the most of the Hudson’s warehouse side of the football stadium, just to fit inside. More of the New Pistons hopes were shattered when their Sith Lord, Darth Rage, tangled with Salaak and Duncan Idaho. Darth Rage raced toward Duncan Idaho at first; wildly swinging his lightsaber, ignoring the Green Lantern flying above him. (Gee I wonder why he was named Darth “Rage”) He did manage to cut Duncan’s crysknife in half, but just when he was about to deliver a kill blow to the Sword Master of the Ginaz, Salaak, blocks the lightsaber with a wall of green energy from his ring. The Green Lantern then swoops down into action and hits Darth Rage with a flurry of punches from his four arms. He is able to knock Rage’s lightsaber out of his hand and knocks him to the floor. The Sith Lord then retaliates with a blast of Sith Lightning, which Salaak was unable to deflect. Then, in quick fashion, Duncan Idaho scooped up the lightsaber and ran Darth Rage through with his own weapon. Meanwhile over in the east end zone, Piter De Vries and Rhino are double teaming Asajj Ventress. The odds quickly even out when Asajj cuts the goal post down and it crushes De Vries. Rhino charges at the Dark Jedi, but she easily jumps out of the way and allows Rhino to slam into a wall. He pulls his horn out of the wall and charges her again, only this time he is cut down by her lightsaber. Tom Bombadil for what ever reason was walking around in the Detroit Lions locker room. This decision proved to be fatal, as he was jumped from behind and strangled to death with a jersey by Ski Bum. Back out on the field, Link and Faramir are engaged in a fierce sword fight on the 50 yard line. The duel goes back and forth several times. Faramir wounds Link’s right leg, dropping him to his knees. But Link manages to fight back, blocking Faramir’s attack with the Hylian Shield and then firing three Silver Arrow into Faramir’s chest, killing the second son of Denethor II. Link takes a moment before returning to battle to drink a bottle of Blue Potion he carried with him. The potion heals his leg wound completely. High above the battle, Man-Bat attempts to tangle with Wonder Man. Man-Bat flies frantically around the air, evading Wonder Man’s attacks. Simon finally lands a punch on Dr. Langstrom and sends him crashing into the stadium’s massive video screen. A high pitched wail could be heard from the exploding screen, as Man-Bat was being electrocuted. The team of Asajj Ventress, Link and Duncan Idaho begin to search the stadium grounds for their teammate, Tom Bombadil. The bounty hunter, Dengar, slowly stalks Dave Goverde, who for some reason was in full Los Angeles Kings goalie gear, even though he hasn’t played for that team since 1994. Dengar takes aim at the back of “Go-Go’s” helmet with his Valken-38 Blaster Rifle and fires a shot. But in a blink of an eye, Goverde spins around and blocks the shot with his stick. Dengar continues firing shots at the goalie, but with no avail. Goverde is standing on his head in this battle, as if his life depended on it (which it does). Bill Laimbeer then runs (well slightly jogs would be much more accurate) to help Dengar out. He whips a basketball right at the goalie’s helmet. This knocks Dave down, and Dengar blasts him with several blaster shots, killing him. Wicket, who had been hiding behind some seats, jumps out and throws his spear right into the back of Bill Laimbeer. Wicket then scurries outside before Dengar could attack. Dengar follows the Ewok outside where he is met by a napalm bomb from the awaiting Megalon. Asajj Ventress and the others find the body of their teammate Tom Bombadil lying on the floor of the Lion’s locker room. Link begins to sing a song for Tom, but is cut short by the final member of the New Pistons. Ski Bum knocks Link to the ground and begins to beat him with a football helmet. Asajj Ventress force pushes the little bear off of Link, sending him flying into the laundry basket. The crazy furry little thing leaps out and races at the Dark Jedi. She uses the Force to grab him and choke the very life out of the small bear, thus ending the New Pistons’ existence as a team.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE!