Hannah Montana and Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos vs Alice's Wonder Team

Hannah Montana and Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos are Qui Gon Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, Éowyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima, Metroid #1, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Saladin, and Mrs. Doubtfire.

Alice’s Wonder Team is Darth Deez, Sharkticon #11, Goblin #1, Ram Man, Domino, Jesse Quick, Princess Toadstool, Extinction Alice, Desmond Howard, and Treasure Troll #3.

Alice’s Wonder Team arrives at Ford Field only to find only one member of the Commandos waiting to meet them in battle. Qui Gon Jinn is patiently kneeling down at the 50 yard line, meditating. They begin to converge on the motionless Jedi Master. Just then, a 1969 Corvette flies in onto the field, (Yes, I said FLIES) and out jumps Éowyn, Saladin, and Mrs. Doubtfire. The Vette then reveals that it is actually Tracks, and transforms into his robot form. Ram Man immediately springs into action and slams into Tracks, sending him crashing to the ground. Jesse Quick mean while zips around the field, tearing trenches into the FieldTurf. Domino flips Desmond Howard a grenade as he takes off down the field. He races by Metroid #1 and drops the grenade underneath the floating blob. It grenade blows up killing Metroid #1. Desmond runs down field with that same big toothy white grin he would always be sporting after scoring a touchdown. His smile is quickly wiped away when Maxima flies in and gives the former Heisman Trophy winner the worse facemask you will ever see. She drops the football helmet, which happens to still have Desmond Howard’s head still inside it, as she heads towards her next opponent. Ram Man smashes into Tracks time and time again, causing great damage, but the Autobot is resistant. “My paint job, my fender. Ok now little man, you are going to pay,” exclaims Tracks. He blasts Ram Man with a shot from his Blinding Black Light Beam Gun, which well… blinds him. He then fires two heat-seeking incendiary missiles right into Ram Man, blowing him to pieces. Tracks, now devastated by the poor shape he is in. He transforms into his Corvette mode, extends his wings from under his rear fenders and takes off at sub-sonic speeds, retreating from battle, in fear of further damage. Sharkticon #11 is hungry for some carnage, so it begins to rip apart the seats in Section 123. Meanwhile, Jesse Quick is still racing all over Ford Field at high speeds, and she uses her super strength to pick up Saladin and launch him into the giant neon Pepsi sign, killing the Sultan. She then takes aim for Qui Gon, who is still quietly meditating on the 50 yard line. She starts circling him, creating a tornado of debris. Qui Gon then makes one quick move and slices the young speedster in two with his lightsaber. The Jedi Master then resumes his mediation. Mrs. Doubtfire is cautiously roaming the field. But unfortunately for her, the All-Star ballot nominee, Goblin #1, is hungry for some fresh meat. Still seething from the All-Star snub, Goblin #1 dives at Euphegenia Doubtfire and absolutely guts her/him. Goblin #1 then starts to devour the entrails of Daniel Hillard. Ms. Marvel is flying high above the battle and sees Sharkticon #11 stalking Éowyn, who is busy fending off shots from Domino. The Sharkticon see Ms. Marvel flying down, and it leaps right at her. Ms. Marvel doesn’t bother to even stop her path and blows right through the Transformer. Éowyn is shot in her leg by Domino, and screams in pain. This scream leads Qui Gon to intervene. Domino dodges several of Éowyn’s swipes with her sword, and then does a backflip over Qui Gon, who was approaching her. “What can I say? I’m just lucky,” quips Domino. “Luck has nothing to do with it, girl,” replies Qui Gon as he does the same backflip and puts his lightsaber right through Domino’s chest. Over in the concourse, Extinction Alice is battling with Maxima. Alice attempts to telepathically attack Maxima, but she finds out that she too has mind powers. She then attacks Maxima at full force, but each blow is deflected by a force field that Maxima has created. Extinction Alice is the knocked off her feet by a blast by Ms. Marvel who has formed a tight bond with Maxima over the past year. This assistance allows Maxima to concentrate her psionic powers to boost her strength. She then uppercuts Extinction Alice, hitting her so hard that the surrounding windows shatter. The lifeless body of Alice crumples to the floor. Darth Deez begins to walk out of the player’s tunnel screaming for the Starchild. “Bowmannnnnnnn!!! Show yourself! Your blood will stain this field. I will spike your head in this end zone. Come meet your demise!” Ms. Marvel and Maxima both take off to do battle with the Sith Lord, but Qui Gon stops both of them. “No, my children. Let the Starchild handle this,” says the wise Jedi Master. Just then, a flash of light blows through the field, scooping up Darth Deez, and blasts through the roof of the stadium. All that is heard next is… “Uuuhh!” There is also two things seen falling from the hole that was just made in the roof. A lightsaber and a fat NUB cigar. Dave Bowman returns to the football field and focuses on the last two remaining opponents, Goblin #1 and Princess Toadstool. Peach jumps in the air and floats above the still injured Éowyn, as well as Qui Gon who has returned to meditating. She reaches the upper level seats, but just then, another hole is blasted through the roof. This time it is Agamemnon. The Titan then takes aim with his massive cannon and fires at the entire section that Peach is standing in. It is completely destroyed, with absolutely no trace of the Princess. Goblin #1 charges in one last crazed effort at Dave Bowman, who simply just erases the Goblin from existence. The Commandos believe they have won, but Qui Gon senses that there is still one member remaining. Maxima then sees a tiny tuft of purple hair scurrying across the field. Treasure Troll #3 tries to make a run for it, but is vaporized by Maxima’s optical force beams.

HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCES!