Season 4, Week 2: Team Sleeping Pussy vs. Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

“Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.”
-Kermit the Frog

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 2 Match located in World 2-2. ALL WATER. NO POSSIBILITY FOR AIR. They are as follows:

Team Sleeping Pussy- Aspen, Namor and Mimic.

Brotherhood of Evil Midgets- Qwsp, Kermit the Frog, Squirtle, Gamera and Yellow Toad .

Let the battle begin. . .

Mimic attempts to focus on the Midget Brotherhood and absorb the powers of any super beings within his range. Unfortunately, with the team produced by the Brotherhood, he is unable to do so. He then shifts his sights and looks no further than his own teammates in both Namor and Aspen. He imbibes their essences and now has the ability to breath under water without issue.

Squirtle focuses on Aspen and sprays a powerful blast of pressurized water at her. Aspen transforms into water itself and the blow simply passes through her. In response, Aspen manipulates the water surrounding the Pokemon character into a water cannon. The weaponized water shoots Squirtle across the area. Squirtle, protected by its shell, comes forth and regroups with Yellow Toad and Kermit the Frog. As the three Midget warriors rush at Aspen, an optic blast resembling that of Cyclops lashes out at the treacherous trio. Although Yellow Toad and Squirtle dodge Mimic’s attack, the blow manages to rip through the legs of Kermit the Frog. Kermit looks down and sees that his legs are gone, floating away.

Kermit: Just like my nephew Robin!!!

Mimic: Gonna serve me up some frog legs with melted garlic butter later, my friend!

Kermit’s eyes begin to flutter and the amphibian bleeds out.

Kermit: Alas, Fair Pig do I join thee. . . .

Kermit dies. In response to Kermit’s death, Squirtle and Yellow Toad swim toward Mimic. Namor rushes in between the combatants and grabs both Midgets in head locks. Sickening crunches are heard as necks are broken. Squirtle's and Yellow Toad’s lifeless bodies float away.

Meanwhile, Qwsp has warped reality around him, forming an air bubble that protects him from drowning. Qwsp then lashes out and World 2-2 becomes a disjointed area of desert – no water. Namor and Aspen are caught off guard and crash to the sands below, gasping at the shock to their bodies. Qwsp laughs as the Brotherhood has finally gained the upper hand over Team SP’s water trio. Mimic does not have the limitations of his brethren and immediately uses the telekinesis of Jean Gray to whip Qwsp into the ground. Namor shakes off his queasiness and seizes the opportunity. Namor uses his winged ankles to fly full speed at the fifth-dimensioner. The Atlantean, who now holds his trident, pierces his weapon through Qwsp, who instantly dies. With Qwsp’s death, the dimensional realities re-align and World 2-2 becomes its proper watery realm. Aspen, Namor and Mimic are pleased.

Mimic: One more . . .

Mimic is unable to finish his sentence as theses are the last words uttered from his mouth. Gamera engulfs the mutant, whose dead body lies ravaged in its maw. Namor and Aspen combine forces to fight the behemoth. Namor uses his superhuman strength to damage both eyes of Gamera. The now blinded beast screams in pain. Gamera uses his flame breath to sizzle the water around him and manages to hit Namor in the process. The intensity of the water around Namor boils him alive; his dead body floats away. Gamera moves into its shell and begins to spin in its signature move to briefly escape and gather its senses. Seeing an opportunity to end the fight, Aspen manipulates the water around the two and creates an astronomical water spear. Gamera flies straight into it and is skewered from head to tail.

Aspen: Looks like I’m having both frog legs and turtle tonight. . . nice Cajun meal. . .

Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: All dead.

Team Sleeping Pussy: Aspen survives.

TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!!!