week 5- Transfoamers vs Touring Commandos

The Transfoamers is: Black Lanterns Darth Bane and Darth Rave, Decpticons #8-10, The Fallen, Starscream's Ghost, Ghosts #1-7, Autobots #1-5, Transformers #1-10, and Zam Wessal

"Now that I'm eighteen, nobody cares about me anymore" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "I swear this time it wasn't the United States who devastated Japan" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's is: Numnius w/blue ring, Ben Kenobi w/green lantern ring, Dex-Star, Karu-Sil, Taa, Fatality, Optimus Prime, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Earth 2 Superman, Zombie Maxima, Movie Jetfire, Tlaloc w/red lantern ring, the Colonial Marines: Corp. Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corp. Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Crowe, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corp. Ferro, Warrent Officer Ellen Ripley, Rick Deckard, Lady Gaga, Jen Linley, and Black Lantern Dozer #1

Author's note: Before we begin. In this bit of uncharted space there is an old, abandoned space station. It was put there during the Regan administration at the height of his Star Wars program, but was abandoned due to budget cuts. Being the magnanimous guy I am, I have used my mighty watch powers to give the base very minimum power so that it can be inhabited by people without a space suit.

As we join the battle, alot has transpired already. Ben Kenobi and Numinus have been able to take out both black lantern Sith Lords, but the two Sith were able to lay some pretty have damage on the Commandos. It took the lives of Fatality, Dex-Starr, Tlaloc, Karu-Sil, and Taa before the Commandos figured out the only way to kill a black lantern for sure is to combine the power of a green lantern with the ring from a different corp.

The Transfoamers haven't come through this battle unscathed, though. Transformers #1-10 have fallen to Black Lantern Optimus Prime after they were possessed by the ghost of Starscream. Both Starscream's ghost and BL Prime are beginning to get frustrated as they are basically locked in a stalemate. Each time it looks like the Transfoamers have put BL Prime down, the black ring reformers him, and every time BL thinks that Starscream's ghost has been destroyed, he flies off and possesses another host to send to their death.

The transport containing the non-powered members of the Commandos has been struck by an errant blast from the battle between Numinus and the Fallen, forcing Ben Kenobi to envelope the damaged ship in a green bubble and whisk them to the abandoned space station in the region. Unfortunately for Old Ben, he got blindsided by one of the common Decepticons as he was dropping the ship into the hangar.

Optimus Prime arrives to the fight just to see Numinus fall to The Fallen (IRONY!) and two Decepticons, so Prime finishes off the Fallen. Then totally ends the Decepticons who are still trying to recover from taking out the mighty Numinus.

As Prime tries to revive himself to continue the fight,he notices the common Autobots fighting on behalf of the 'Foamers. BL Dozer #1 arrives by his side to give him some news.

"Oh, it's you. The non-cool Prime. Listen, Melvin. We've noticed there's some odd energy out here. That tool Kenobi said he sensed a darkness in the Force, possibly some ghosts or something. We might be able to turn them back to humans long enough for me to kill them, but I'm gonna need some parts to build a proper device." he says "Hey, what's your deal? Are you listening to me?"

"I hear you, you unholy little turd" says Prime "I'm currently in the midst of a moral quagmire. I see my Autobot brethren taking up arms against me, and I'm torn of if I should face them in battle or use my Prime override, that is installed in all Autobots in case they are ever to turn against us. It' quite the del.."

"PRIME OVERRIDE. BETA, EPSIL, QUADRO. Autobots transform and BLOW UP!!" scream BL Prime as he flies up besides his black lantern pal, and the regular Prime in time to see all the common Autobots erupt in a huge explosion, unfortunatley this also takes out Jetfire but that fact is of little comcern to the black lantern Commandos.

"Awesome! That should be the enough parts for me" squeals the BL Dozer "Hey buddy, help me gather up some parts?"

"No prob man, I got me a pain in the ass that I want to deal with. I'm sure Harry Honorable can hold down the fort while we get this s**t taken care of." says BL Prime

"Just go, you foul heathens. I'll do what I can here" Prime says, still shocked by the utter lack of humanity shown by his Black Lantern counterpart.

"Bitchin'. Toodles" says BL Prime, and he and the Dozer collect Autobot carcasses to use against the Transfoamers.

Meanwhile, at the space station. The shaken Commandos stumble out of their damaged ship and take a quick check to see who survived the blast.

"Goddammit. F***. We lost Corp. Hicks, , Bishop, Dietrich, Spunkmeyer, Vasquez, Drake, Frost, Crowe, Wierzbowski, Ferro, and Rick Deckard." says Ripley who else is here?"

"Dawson? Dawson, I'm here." says Jen "That was kind of a rough boat ride Dawson. Maybe you should focus more on driving and less on the hussy doing dirty things to you with her mouth" Jen obviously has still not recovered from her battle with Team Sleeping Pussy.

"Raaaargh" says zombie Maxima

"Beep boop beep" says Lady Gaga who is cleverly disguised as a robot, but stupidly made her disguise out of duct tape and a cardboard box

"Ok. First things first" says Hudson "Ladies, from what Ripley's told me about her last encounter with weird Aliens the first thing you need to do is strip to your skivvies. It's the only way"

"Dammit Hudson, you know that was only cause I was going into cryo-sleep. Why are you such a perv?" asks Ripley

"Whatever, you're just pissed cause you got a weird looking vag"

"I do not!"

"Trust me, you do. It's kinda gross, and by kinda I mean excessively"

"Screw you"

"Not in your wildest dreams, Frankencrotch"

As this back and forth continues, Zam Wassel creeps up on the bickering Commandos and shoots Ripley in the head.

"Whoa, whoa who. We gotta go!!" yells Hudson who grabs Jen, by far the most attractive lady in the room, and rushes out shoving Lady Gaga to the ground

"Beep borp beep!" yells Gaga

As Wassal prepares to finish off the ridiculous popstar. zombie Maxima grabs a piece of shuttle debris as hurls it at the Transfoamers bounty hunter where it smashes into her, killing her

"Berp boop bop" says Gaga

"Rrrrargh" replies Maxima.

Unbeknown st to the Commandos, their trouble are far from over. The Transfoamers ghosts have been hanging out, wait for their opponents.

"damn, you see that crazy blonde? Mmmm, mmmm, mmm. I gotta get me some of that"

"Careful Dan, remember what happened when you banged that donkey show stripper."

"Whatevs dude, I already died. Plus aren't I supposed to kill these guys anyway? Where's it say I can't get a little 'tang before I cap both these fools?"

"That's not the point"

"F you, and f your point. I'm gonna go enter that guy and then enter that chick. Smells ya later" and Dan the ghost takes off leaving the others to figure out what they're gonna do about the freak show in the hanger.

"Dude, I'm not going in either one of those things. I may be dead, but I might still catch some kinda disease from that thing in the cardboard box"

"Totally. Though, the zombie coulda been hot, you know, before she got put in the grave and all. I always had a thing for red heads."

Suddenly, Optimus Prime enters the area and in one fell swoop smashes both Maxima and Gaga.

"Idiots! Why aren't these guys dead yet?"

"Whoa! You can see us?" asks Doug "And why would you want us to kill them? Aren't you on their side?"

"How you ever won 80 grand in Vegas is beyond me, I'm surprised you can speak in complete sentences" growls Prime. "It's me, Starscream. Prime finished off all of the other Decepticons. So it's up to us to hurry up and kill the rest of them." Now let's get going. This s**t seems like it's going on forever"

"Not so fast, little Mary sunshine" a voice says outta nowhere

"F**k. It's the Commandos" hurry get the hell outta here!"

But it's too late. BL Dozer #1 wheels in the machine he and BL Prime have been working on, and turn in on. Suddenly the 6 ghosts are turned human.

"Now you all are in big, big trouble" and the sadistic Dozer rushes at the now living former drug fiends, who really don't have a chance.

"Oh, too bad Prime" sneers the Starscream possessed regular Prime "I'm safe from your little device as long as I'm in your old body. Now what?"

"Well, I guess I start shopping at Hot Topic and listening to emo rock, cause I'm about to kill myself" says BL Prime with his WIKED burn on today's tragic youth and quickly destroys the already battle weary regular version of himself. As Starscream's ghost quickly vacates Primes body, he's caught in the rays of the unghostinator and turns mortal

"F**k." Starscream whimpers.

"Well. Well. Well. Hiya bitch. Remember me?" smiles BL Prime "I'm gonna enjoy this and he punches his fist right through Starscream's chest killing him.

"Is that it?" asks BL Dozer #1 "What are we forgetting?"

"Just me, Pacey" says a voice, and Jen Linley enters the room.

"Basketcase? Should you be smearing your own crap and the wall and talking about Capeside?" asks BL Dozer "And why are you in your underwear?"

"Does it really matter?" replies Jen "All you need to know it that I'm ready to get the hell out of here. I'm sick of everyone labelling me a slut just because I come out of another room with two dead guys wearing only my bra and panties. When Ripley does it, she's some tough feminist icon, but when I do it I'm the town whore. Men are pigs"

"Wow." says BL Prime "And people think WE'RE messed up." With that the Commandos head back to their base.


Transfoamers: All Dead

The Touring Battallion of Commandos: Black Lantern Dozer #1, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, and Jen Linley survive.



"POP SUPERSTAR" HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLD'S" TOURING BATTALI0N OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!