The Commandos Vs. The Right Wing

Former Pop-Superstar "I didn't even know she had a mom, until she divorced Billy Ray" Hannah Montana and "The guy who just picks all the favorites in the tournament and then calls it a "bracket"" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is Capt. Tarpals, Gungan #1-50, Huma Dragonbane and his Red Dragon, Red Dragon #1-3, (original) Human Torch, & (movie) Jetfire.

The Right Wing is Poseidon, Kit Fisto, Helen of Troy, Ariel, Phibian #11-20, Smurf #3, Magwai #3 & 4, Pirate #1-10, & Opee Sea Killer #1-8.


Both teams are dropped into the water. Some of The Right Wing stay afloat atop of The Indian Ocean’s rough waters, while most of them dive deep into the sea where they feel most comfortable. Most of The Commandos on the other hand, instantly struggle to get out of the water, and many of them take flight to get away all together. Capt. Tarpals, takes control of the only members of his team which are still treading water; which is of course his fifty fellow gungans (or gellow fungans, if you speak gunganese). Tarpals rallies his troops in preparation for a fight that he knows they are a long shot in winning. The gungans have a grand army, and they are ready to do there part; but before they begin Huma flies down above the water line and speaks to Tarpals. “Is this all you brought with you, to do battle against the mighty Right Wing? If you count by weight, I‘ve brought more with me to do battle than you have”. Capt. Tarpals then looks up into the sky and says to Human Torch: “Hey dere meesta flame guy, whatsa is you profession”? “I’m an android” replies the Torch. Tarpals then turns to Jetfire and says: “And youssa plane-guy. Whatsa is you profession”? “I am a Decepticon” replies Jetfire. “And You! Red fly guys. Whatsa is you profession”? Red Dragon #2 turns to Red Dragon #3 and asks: “Can we talk”? “Ummmmm; no, I don’t think so” replies Red Dragon #3. Huma answers for them and says: “We are dragons of the first age”. Capt. Tarpals then turns to his gungans and screams: “GUNGANS. WHATSA IS YOUSA PROFESSION”?!? “MEESA MEESA MEESA”!! The gungans reply. See dere de Huma big boss. Meesa brought more soldiers than yousa did. The Commandos are about to engage in another couple of hours of absolute ridiculousness, when they are interrupted by ten pirates and an entire legion of constantly multiplying (and drowning) Magwai. The gungans begin fiercely battling with The Right Wingers with a barrage of “Aaaarghs”, “meesas”, “mateys”, and “Ehhhhs?” that my poor ears just simply couldn’t handle it. All 10 pirates and many a cute magwai die in this melee (including magwai #3 & 4). But by the time it is all over with, 12 gungans die as well. The gungans gracefully swim down to meet the 8 biggest goober fishes that they have ever seen. They draw their water-proof weapons, but they instantly begin to suffer heavy casualties. The Gungans manage to kill Opee Sea Killers #1, 3, & 7 (#3 was killed solely by the brave Capt. Tarpals); but in the end, all 51 gungans are no more. The Opee Sea Killers should be more than full, but they do go on to feast on Helen of Troy and Smurf #3, as well as Phibian #14 from their own team. Kit Fisto launches a force-induced water ball out into the air which both douses Human Torch’s flame and rips apart his circuitry, while Poseidon causes a tidal wave which engulfs Huma and all 4 dragons to bring them down into the rough waters. Jetfire decides to go for broke and nose dives into the water; but he is met by the 9 remaining Phibians. Jetfire manages to use his overwhelming size and durability to take out Phibians #11-13, &17-19, but in the end the last few Phibians are able to take out the aged Decepticon with their primitive yet well-placed weaponry. Once Huma and his dragons are in the water, they are basically sitting ducks. Poseidon and his princess Ariel, personally make sure that Huma is killed, while The Opee Sea Killers, Phibians, and Kit Fisto take out the red dragons (Although Opee Sea Killer #4 is killed by the out of place dragons). Kit Fisto swims up to Poseidon to report what has happened when Ariel surprises them both and asks: “When is the rest of the team showing up”? Master Fisto replies with: “what are you talking about your highness”? “Well, our squad was about 100 points shy of the required point value for this week”. “Why would we do that”? replies Fisto. The Jedi Master continues: “Are we trying to get disqualified”? Poseidon chimes in with: “Not a horrible plan, I imagine that disqualification would be the only way we could lose one of these water matches... Maybe this was simply a way to show our entire team that they have become what I have been for many millennia”. “What would that be father”? Asks Ariel. Poseidon answers with: “I guess now our whole team knows what it is like to be a god of the sea”.
TE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!