The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are: Qwsp, Kermit the Frog, Squirtle, Gamera, Toad, Red (original) Toad, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, Megalon, Set, Lar Fleeze, Vampire Cat #1, Ganthet (w/ a green lantern ring), Sayd, Titanus, and Meriadoc Brandybuck
Xavier's Annhiliation Squad are: Davy Jones and crewmembers 1-5, Barbarossa and crewmembers 1-5, The Kracken, G-Girl, Supreme, Radar, Suprema w/ blue lantern ring, Kalibak, and pirates 11-13
"Yarrr, it be a foyne day at sea" says Foul Ethan, crewmember #3 of Balbossa's ship. "The winds be on our side, the Kracken is at our command, and we be foyten some midgets. Tis surely a good day to be a pirate"
"Aye, and don't be forgotten we gots us a Superman, Supergirl and Superdog fighting along sides us and Davy Jones' crew. Twill be an easy battle, full of blood and plunder. Just the way I like it" says Scurvy O'Hoolihan (crewmember #1)
"Squirtle, squirtle" says Squirtle, disguised as a pirate, hoping to blend in with the others.
"Hang on, hang on. I don't be remembering no turtle looking pirate. Is he one of them scallowags from Jones' crew?" O"Hoolihan
"Squirtle. Squirt." says Squirtle nodding in agreement
"Arr, be ye soft in the head? The crew of Davy Jones looks like a cross between the sea and a man. This don't be looking like no seaman. And if there's on thing ole Gay Wille know, it's all about seamen" says crewmember #1 "Gay" Willie
"Arrgh, Willie. You're always so happy and gay, thus why we call you "Gay" Willie. Why you seem so agitated, and not prancing about merrily, singing gay tunes?" questioned Foul Ethan
"Well, first, it's this tiny little turtley looking fella. Something about him ain't sitting quite right with me. He don't be looking like no man I've ever been associated with. Plus, turtle be an omen of ill times to come. And "Gay" Willie is well versed in ill comings. Just ask me old mate, Blueball Pete."
"Now that you be mentioning it, Willie. What do you make of all these little colored fellas swabbin the deck? The be looking like Mushrooms."
"Mushrooms? Colors? It be the Midgets, trying to pull a fast one. Kill them!!!" and a violent, one sided battle erupts as Balbossa's crew quickly slaughters all the Toads and Squirtle. Before Balbossa's crew can celebrate however, Titanus blasts up from under the water infront of the ship with Merry Brandybuck on his head. As this happens, ufortunately, the small rowboat containing pirates 11-13 capsizes and sends them to a watery grave.
After this tragedy occurs, Merry leaps onto the deck and exclaims "Well, well. If it isn't my old friend "Gay" Willie, glad to see you keeping up your spirits. Especially after losing your eye. Nothings sadder than a one eyed Willie that has lost his gayness"
"Arr, I'll be killin' you for that Merry!" Willie screams and rushes towards the middle earth denizen. But before anymore homoerotic sayings can be put in this match the boat, crewmembers, Titanus and Merry are all destroyed as Gamera and The Krecken's vicious undersea battle is brought up to the surface. G-girl tries to fly in and help the Kracken, but she is vaporized by Gamera.
As this ferocious battle still wages. Let us turn our attention to Davy Jones' vessel, and what transpires there.
"Ah, friend Kermit. Are you sure you wish to join us in battle? For you have no weaponry and are sure to perish if you participate." says Sayd the former Green Lantern guardian
"Well, gosh Syad. Thanks for the concern, but sometimes a frog's gotta do what a frog's gotta do, plus it's not like I've never been in a fight before. I've played a pirate in a few differnt productions I've been in so I should be ok." says Kermit
"Well, fair Kermit. You'll not go in defenseless. I've activated the 24 deputation feature on my green ring like I did in Blackest Night and hereby make you an honorary Green Lantern for this match" says Ganthet.
"Golly Ganthet, thanks. But that hardly seems fair." says Kemit he accepts the ring "It's almost like I'm being protected because I'm such a fond childhood memory of so many people."
"Well, it's been shown that a I've done that before, so you becoming a lantern for this match is totally legit and people can just get over it" says Ganthet. "Just don't try and steal the show here, Kermit. This isn't some Muppet fanfic page here."
"Besides, I want the victory. Me!!" screams Lar Fleeze and he rockets ahead of the pack and lands on Davy Jones ship.
The battle begins on Davy Jones' ship and is over almost as quickly as the battle on Barbossa'a ship, but this time the Midgets are victorious in the skirmish. Leaving Davy Jones as the only survivor for his crew.
"This ship is MINE. Mine!!" says the only orange lantern
"You've not yet won this day, Midgets. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve." sneers Davy Jones "Perhaps you recognize the bones of the vampire cat that Radar has already destroyed. And, why Sayd, how lovely your blood looks on the deck of my boat"
"Wha.." begins Sayd, but then she suddenly explodes as Supreme flies through her and lands beside Davy Jones. "Ah, Supreme. Where be your other family members? We only got us a bit of green and orange to mop up before the day is through."
"Suprema and Radar unfortunately fell while we were battling that vicious monster Set, who was able to eat Kalibak first and then took out my family members, but I was able to finish him off as well as Gamera, but we've also lost the Kracken. So it's just you and me buddy. Time to turn off the light show" and he and Davy Jones begin to advance on Ganthet, Larfleeze and Kermit.
"Typical. Everyone forgets about me! And even after I bring gifts" says a voice out of nowhere, and suddenly a familiar chest and meteor appear on the deck in front of the Midgets. "S...supremium!!" proclaims Supreme as he falls to the deck, dead.
"Yeah,Supremium. The fatal kind. Thanks, wikipedia." says the mysterious voice "Now, Jones. Have a heart why don't you?" and the chest pops open revealing the weakness of Davy Jones, the heart he sacrificed to Calypso.
"This be a bunch of bile" says Davy Jones. "First the frog gets a ring, now randomly our two weaknesses suddenly show up? Bulls**t. This be a conspiracy against me."
"Conspiracy, no. 5th dimension shenanigans? Yes." says the voice and suddenly the 5th dimensional imp Qwsp appears on deck "Now, Kermit. Wrap this up, this has gone on long enough."
"No!!!" screams Jones, but it's too late. Kermit fires a blast of green energy and incinerates the heart, killing the final members of the Annihilation Squad.
"Well, we had a great match today, I'd like to thank my teammates for all the help and we'll see you next time. YAY!!!" yells Kermit as he and the rest of the Midgets sail off into the sunset.
Xavier's Annihilation Squad: All Dead.
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Kermit the Frog, Lar Fleeze, Ganthet, and Qwsp survive.
THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!!!
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4 comments:
Stoopid? Someone called this stoopid?
Ok, the match wasn't as stellar as some I've done. But stoopid is a bit harsh.
Jerks.
I actually liked the match. . .
-B2
That was awesome!! Great match Chris. I know I am biased cause I won it, but that was some of the most clever stuff we have ever seen in The FFL. Great work dude. And good match to you too Sarah. You had a great team. Good luck in the rest of the season.
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