Season Four: Week 8: Better Than All Of You vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

Better Than All Of You is Terminator #1, Cobra Commander (Head Coach), Batman (Jean Paul Valley) on an Oscorp Glider, Batman Beyond Robin, Red Wing, Super Sonic, Gandalf the White, Nick Fury on a motorcycle, Flash (Wally West), 7 Cobra Vipers, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, 2 Doozers.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Topher Brink, Doll #1, Doll #2, Michael Weston, Fiona Glenanne, Captain Caveman, Moon Knight, Vincent, Ron Popeil, The Technobots, Dobby, Rancor #1 and Rancor #2.


The Night Before the Match

Ron Popeil: “So you’re sure this thing works?”

Topher Brink: “Of course it works, I made it.”

RP: “Thanks a lot Toph, this things gonna come in handy.”

Topher: “Now be careful with that thing okay. It’s well…kind of dangerous.”

Ron just silently stares back him.

Topher: “It packs quite the 1,2,3 punch. Well, maybe just the 1, but that one is a whopper. (Pauses) On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t take that thing, yeah, you definitely shouldn’t have it.”

Ron takes the item and points it at Topher.

RP: “I have nine deaths Topher, I’m taking this thing with me.”

Topher: “Okay, okay, that’s fine, let’s make good decision’s today Ron. No need to just point that thing randomly at someone. Just keep it close to you; you definitely don’t want the baddies getting a hold of that thing. I don’t think I need to tell you the consequences that would come of them acquiring such a device.”

RP: “I’m leaving now. I’ll see you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep for once and please lay off the coffee."

Game Day

It’s a dark day in Metropolis, the chance of sunshine is nil. Rain clouds make the city seem even more cramped then usual on today. Given, the sight of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and Computron in the center of the city are not helping matters either. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man let’s out a scream that sounds a bit like the Alien in John Carpenter’s “The Thing”. The sound is beyond unsettling and at the same time not stopping. Both teams are put off the screaming which is why the Technobots decide to send a massive blast of gunfire towards the giant marshmallow, turning the city floor into a lake of marshmallow.

This quick but big loss sends a sense of shock through Cobra Commander and the rest of his team.

CC: “What are we doing right now? Just sit around waiting for them, while they just pick us off one by one.”

Nick Fury: “Yeah, actually that’s exactly what you told us to do.”

BB Robin: “You told us that we should open up this bakery and lure them into the store with the smell of cakes and cookies.”

Nick Fury: “Honestly, the only reason I went along with it was because it was so far beyond stupid that I thought maybe I was missing something. I mean, despite your eccentricities, you have done a damn good job with the team this year sir.”

Batman: “Yeah, don’t worry about this one sir, you can’t always pitch a perfect game."

Flash: “Absolutely sir, sometimes you end up walking four straight in the first and then let up the big one. Everyone severely screws up sometimes; it’s no big deal."

Gandalf let’s out a sigh of disdain and thinks to himself that it is a miracle he has lasted almost three full seasons with this man in charge of things.

CC: “Okay, I suppose I may have had a minor lapse of judgment on this one but I now have a new plan. We all run outside and cover ourselves in the marshmallow residue, then come back to the bakery and just slightly roast ourselves over a small flame, creating the impossible to ignore aroma of roasting marshmallows. The smell will be so intoxicating; they won’t know what hit them. And then, we HIT them.”

Seconds later the entire teams walks out of the small bakery and leaves Cobra Commander alone with the plan.

Robin: “Why do we ever listen to that guy, oh S#%T!!!”

As Robin says this Rancor #2 picks him up from behind and begins to chew on his upper body. Batman see’s this and immediately reacts by running over to the Rancor and punching his knee so hard that he snap’s it in two. The giant creature screams in pain and falls to the ground. The half eaten body of Robin falls out of his hand and before he can defend himself, Batman punches a hole through the neck of the Rancor and pulls out his voice box.

Batman: (Screaming) “What! Try to talk back to me now B#$#H!”

Just then a shot is fired at Batman and hit’s him directly in the stomach. He falls to the ground in pain but due to his suit, he is not mortally wounded. The fire came from just around the corner but as of this time, nobody was able to see whose gun it came from. Seconds later, a man in his early forties came walking up from the other side of where the shot was fired. He walked right up to several of the Cobra Viper soldiers who were standing guard on the other side of the bakery. The Vipers immediately pointed their weapons at the man and told him to stop.

Vincent: “Hey, don’t shoot.”

Cobra Viper #3: “Why not?”

Vincent: “Why do you think?”

Vincent then opened fire on the thought challenged soldiers, killing Viper’s #2, 3 and 5. Vincent then quickly jumped behind a car and took cover.

Batman: “You idiot’s, fire at anyone who isn’t on our team.”

Viper #1: “I thought you weren’t into that. I thought you were against killing.”

Batman: “Wrong Batman retard. I’ll kill anything on this planet if it helps this team win a match.”

Viper #7: (Under his breathe) “Not very moral if you ask me.”

Batman: “I’ll show you moral a$$hole, why don’t you get over her so I can bend you over this car…”

Nick Fury: “Shut the hell up all of you. Where is that graying fellow who shot the Vipers?”

Batman pointed over to the car and Nick Fury fired his bike up and took off. Fury spotted the suit sitting behind the car, but soon realized that this whole thing was just a ploy to get him to head on over to him. He didn’t know exactly what his opponent had in store for him, but his gut told him it wasn’t good. Fury then quickly turned his bike around and headed back towards the bakery.

Fury: “Quick, get the Terminator and Gandalf out here. There’s a shit storm headed our way and the forecast isn’t looking good.”

The Terminator and Sonic took the front line just as Fury’s storm began to come down on them. The ground began to shake as the giant transformer turned the corner and sent energy blasts directly towards them. The blast’s instantly killed the remaining Viper’s and Batman, who was too slow on the uptake due to the gunshot blast to his chest. The Terminator was knocked down but not hurt and Gandalf was able to block the blast with his staff.

Gandalf then stood his ground and slammed his staff on the ground, sending a shockwave towards the giant robot, killing the legs of the combiner. The remaining robots were violently dropped to the ground, knocking them out for a short second and killing Vincent in the process. Gandalf once again stood his ground and prepared to do what he does best.

Gandalf: “You two, err, three shall not…”

As he was about to do his thing, he felt a slight pull on his robe from below. Gandalf looked down to the ground and saw a simple house elf standing below him. He wasn’t doing anything in particular but his sudden appearance startled Gandalf for a split second.

Dobby: “Excuse me sir, Dobby was wondering if you might come along with him.”

Gandalf: “Funny little creature you are.”

Dobby: “Come along sir.”

Gandalf: (Let’s out a small laugh) “No, I don’t believe I will.”

Dobby: “Dobby wasn’t asking sir.”

As the house elf says this he apparates himself and Gandalf away from the street battle and into a high-rise on the other side of the city. Gandalf lands on the tiled floor of the building they are in and stares at the house elf in shock. Gandalf then grabs a hold of his staff and points it at Dobby.

Dobby: “You won’t be needed that quite yet sir.”

Dobby then sends a blast at the staff and knock’s it out of his hands.

Gandalf: “Dobby the Elf, you impress me greatly.”

Ron Popeil: “And unfortunately for you, that is the last time that will ever happen.”


Back to the street level, the Terminator along with the majority of his team was now on the run from the remaining transformers. Wally West had taken off with Super Sonic in search of more opponents while Nick Fury and the Terminator were both on bikes riding as fast as they could. Before they knew it though, a black 1973 Dodge Charger was following directly behind them.

Fiona: “You know Michael, if you actually picked up the pace a little we might even be able to catch these guys.”

Michael Weston: “You know Fi, you’d think just once you could trust my instinct’s.”

Captain Caveman: “Captain Caveman sick of hearing lovers quarrel in the front seat.”

Nick Fury and the Terminator had to devise something fast if they were going to avoid being shot by the crafty ex CIA agent, so the Terminator did the first thing that came to his neuro net processor.

Fiona: “Michael!!!”

Michael: “Oh shit, hold on.”

The Terminator abruptly let go of his bike and smashed into the Dodge Charger, sending it swerving all over the place. Nick Fury took advantage of this move and took off down the road. The Terminator was now on the hood of the car, punching his way towards the three Murderfly members. He smashed the windshield out, cutting Fiona very bad across her face. Captain Caveman fought back by slamming his club on the head of the metallic humanoid but it did little good. The Terminator instantly knocked the club out of his hand and snapped his neck.

Michael having no other choice, crashed the car into a building, sending the Terminator out into the now busted up window of the clothing store they had smashed into. Fiona was now bleeding very badly and Michael was a bit woozy due to him hitting his head on the steering wheel when they hit the building’s window.

Michael: “Just hold on Fi, I’ll take care of this guy.”

Fiona: “Michael, I really don’t think you can.”

Michael: “You really can’t ever trust me can you?”

Fiona: “Not today Michael, not today.”

Little did Michael know, but the Terminator was standing directly behind him and as soon as she said her last words to him, the Austrian monster sent Michael’s skull crashing down upon his own spinal cord, killing him. He then pulled out a shotgun from his side pocket and pressed the barrel to Fiona’s head and without a seconds pause, sent the bloody mess that used to be her head, flying all over a rack of very cute yellow and white (and now red) sundresses.


Away from the carnage in the clothing store, Redwing was flying high above Metropolis looking for sign’s of her opponent’s aerial attack. She flew for quite a while, never seeing anything. She considered that maybe due to the inclimate weather, it was possible that the Murderflies found it unnecessary to take to the sky today, but most likely she figured that she might actually be the only member of either team that had the ability to fly. She considered this a great advantage, one that she did not want to go to waste.

She then flew over to where the Murderflies transformers were. She was very high above their position, but still able to see them. She considered her options before doing anything rash, but was taken by surprise when she watched two of her opponents transform into what looked like space ships. She watched them take off and followed them to where they were headed. She flew some distance behind them because at this point she was fairly confident they didn’t know she existed, which as long as this was the case, she still had something over them.


Nick Fury had ridden half way across the city when he realized that no Murderflies were to be found. At this point he had met up with Wally, Sonic and the Terminator. They discussed the absence of opponent’s and were all considering their next point of attack.

Nick Fury: “The only thing I can figure is that where ever that elf took Gandalf is where the rest of there team is.”

Wally West: “Wow, how’d you come to that conclusion.”

Nick Fury: (With a stern look) “Look, somebody had to say it. It’s not like our wonderful head coach is around to dole out sage advice or anything.”

Wally: “Where the hell is CC anyway?”

Back at the Bakery

Cobra Commander, who is covered in marshmallow, tries to light the pilot on the oven.

CC: “I wish I would have lit this thing beforehand.”

Up in the Air

Redwing had watched as the two transformers approached a high-rise building deep within the city. The two robots made a quick transformation in order to land on top of the building. The two robots now stood on the roof of the building, which led her to believe that this was most likely where the rest of their team was located. Her suspicion’s were confirmed when she saw another Rancor on the roof standing nearby, right where the robots had landed. She moved in a little closer in order to get a better look. She noticed movement on the top floor below the roof. She saw two very attractive women pacing back and forth and another large figure just standing still by the window. It took her a second to realize who it was, but after a minute of staring she realized it was none other then her teams most powerful member, Gandalf.

Redwing then took off to find the remainder of her team.

Back to the Street

Nick Fury: “We need to head out and do something instead of just standing here waiting for something to happen.”

Wally: “No point of running if we aren’t running towards something.”

Nick Fury: “Were you trying to be funny there or are you just always spewing cliché dialogue?”

Terminator: “I am bored, What about you guys?”

As this exhausting exchange was taking place, Redwing flew down and met the remainder of her team down on the street.

Nick Fury: “Hey Red, where the hell have you been?”

Redwing: “Actually doing something.”

Wally: “Screw you Wing head.”

Redwing: “I found them, they are on the other side of the city. They are on the top floor of the biggest building in town.”

Nick Fury: “That’s great and all but did it occur to you that maybe them all being there is just one big trap.”

Wally: “Yeah, kind of like the one that CC had in mind.”

Nick Fury: “I am kind of doubting it’s like the one CC had in mind.”

Back at the Bakery

Holding his pure white body over the flame.

Cobra Commander: “Oh yeah, come to daddy. Smell that roasted marshmallow goodness.”

Back to the Street

Redwing: “Look, I saw Gandalf there. We have to go there at least to help him out. Do I really need to convince you guys to actually fight in this match? You’ve literally done nothing.”

Terminator: “I killed the people in the car and made the dresses red.”

Redwing: “That’s great, can we please get out of here. I will even lead the way just in case something comes up.”

Wally: “Well you kind of have to lead the way anyways because you are the only one who knows where we are going.”

Wally smiles at Nick Fury and Sonic as if what he’s said is quite the revelation when he realizes that Redwing has already taken off. They all follow behind her, all headed towards the Murderflies building.

In the Building

Redwing was the first to arrive but was followed very shortly by the rest of her team. As they all knew to head to the top floor, there was no point in wasting anymore time. Redwing had decided that the most useful thing for her to do was to fly up to the roof and get the transformers to follow her away from the building. Wally and Sonic ran up the building as fast as they could but as soon as both of them reach the top floor they were instantly stopped dead in their tracks. Fury and the Terminator made it halfway up the building when they were met by Doll #2 and Moon Knight. Nick Fury was immediately over powered by the obviously technically perfect martial artist and the Terminator had finally met his match in brute strength.

Redwing flew up to the roof but was surprised to only find the Rancor. She stayed back as to not have to face the creature, but before she could do anything to protect herself, she was on the receiving end of a massive blast of energy from Strafe, sending her plummeting to her death.

The fight inside wasn’t fairing any better for CC’s squad as Nick Fury found himself outmatched by his mentally altered opponent. Though Fury was very good at defending himself, he eventually found himself tumbling down the stairs, unable to regain his footing. The last thing he saw before he died was the front of Doll #2’s foot as it broke his neck away from his spine. The Terminator was finding his fight against Moon Knight going quite well, until Doll #2 came to his defense. At this point, the Terminator found himself overwhelmed and before he could say, “I’ll be back”, Doll #2 was saying, “You be dead” as Moon Knight jammed a sword through the chest of the killing machine.

Up Top

Moon Knight and Doll#2 came up the stairs and informed Mr. Popeil that everyone had been killed. They looked around only to see Wally West, Super Sonic and Gandalf just standing there with blank looks on their face.

Mr. Popeil: “I guess this is it. I didn’t think it would be this easy.”

Topher: “You wiped their mind’s Ron, how hard did you think it was going to be?”

Ron: “I don’t know, I just figured they would have put up more of a fight.”

Dobby: “Dobby is thinking that you didn’t believe in his abilities to over take the powerful Gandalf. Dobby wishes you were maybe a little bit more grateful for the work that certain teammates have done in this match.”

Ron: “I’m sorry Dobby, I am very grateful for what you’ve done in this match.”

Dobby: “What about everyone else’s effort?”

Ron: “I appreciate their effort’s as well Dobby. This team has been amazing this week. So for the record, I would like to thank everyone who has worked so hard for our team.”

Dobby: “Dobby appreciates this. Now can we go home?”

Ron: “Sure thing.”

Topher: “So yeah, what are you going to do with these guys?”

Ron: “Isn’t is obvious?”

Topher: “Not to me I guess.”

Ron: “For being a genius Toph, you’re kind of an idiot.”

Ron then asked Moon Knight to knock out a window and then had Gandalf, Sonic and Wally West, one by one, walk out of the building. As they watched the three combatants fall to their death, Topher wondered if what he had done was the right thing.

Topher: “Does anyone else feel kind of sick about this?”

Doll #2: “No”

Doll #1: “Uh uh”

Ron: “Not me.”

Moon Knight: “I think it’s kind of funny.”

Dobby: “Dobby is hungry.”

Topher: “Well okay, I guess it’s just me.”

Back at the Bakery

Afterburner sit’s out in the street bored out of his mind.

Afterburner: “Oh my god, can’t we just go home already?”

Then he turn’s his head and notices something. He notices something in air, a smell of some sort and a very specific one at that. The smell catches him off guard but once it gets a hold of him, he is hooked. He begins to head on up the street towards the smell. It keeps getting stronger and stronger by the minute until he knows he has to be right on top of it. It isn’t until he finds the exact location of the smell before he realizes what it is. The intoxicating aroma of roasted marshmallows has set his imagination ablaze with thoughts of childhood campfires and good times with great friends. As he walks up to the storefront he sees a man covered in white goo, with a slightly burned mid-section.

Cobra Commander: “See boys, I told you it’d work. Now come to daddy.”

As CC says this, Afterburner picks him up and takes a bite out of his upper body, obviously killing him. As the memories flood through his mind he realizes he is eating a person and instantly spits out the remains of the head coach. Afterburner feels like an idiot for his actions and slowly walks away.

The two Doozers look at each other and in unison say, “Huh, I guess CC was right. It worked.”

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Victorious!!!