George Washington's House Elves Vs. The Empire

George Washington's House Elves are Sgt. Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, Mercer, Shaak Ti, SnakeThe Plisken, Orion, Qui Gon Jinn, and Enfys Nest.

The Empire is White Lantern Swamp Thing, Sarumon, Apollo, The Planeteers: Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, and Heart w/ Sachi, Keno, and Bronze Dragon #1-3.


Hey nerds, Pogo here comin atcha from The Woodland Realm of Middle Earth. But I'm not gonna do much talkin tonight, cuz this story kind of tells itself......

Here is a little Situational Preamble to the inevitable battle:

The Empire was nearly broken. Without proper leadership, the team has been plagued with a mix of apathy and anger that has led to a deep polarization of the members. The feeling of exceptionalism that once held The Empire together has been torn apart by the schism of the well-intentioned group that White Lantern Swamp Thing is part of the leadership of. So certain that they believe they know what is best for the greater good and that the views they hold are correct, they have arrogantly labeled themselves as “Right”, some like Sarumon and Apollo, who cling to the old ways of doing things feel that those who aren't completely on board with the new agenda are simply being “Left” behind. Those in the Right and those from the Left are so angered by each other and their inability to see issues differently that the Left and Right segments of The Empire often forget that they are supposed to be on the same side. Even when confronted with imminent danger from a Confederate group of House Elves, led by George Washington himself; a man known for toppling politically corrupt Empires.

White Lantern Swamp Thing and his environmental zealots the Planeteers began as seemingly well-meaning people, wanting to conserve and keep clean the world around them have taken such a hard line stance that people such as Sarumon and Apollo who favor thriving industry and militarism in the name of security cannot possibly find common ground. Dozens of levels of happy medium could potentially be found in-between these two hard line stances but neither side is willing to give an inch in fear that their political opponents will go for the proverbial mile instead. Swamp Thing and the Planeteers remain in one camp enclosure, while Sarumon, Apollo, and their Japanese political ally Keno are the enclosure next to them. The three Bronze Dragons, truly vigilant soldiers of The Empire circle both sites from the air protecting both equally regardless of ideological beliefs.

In the meantime, Sgt. Slaughter has his orders from General Washington himself, to use every guerrilla tactic necessary to destroy The Evil-labeled enemy Empire. With perfect military precision the attack begins. The Jedi Masters hang back waiting for The Force to provide the perfect time for attack. Snake Plisken and Sgt. Slaughter lead the other two mini-squads, one against each of the two encampments. At the exact same time, under the noses of the circling dragons Slaughter and his Renegades bust into the Right Wing encampment, while Plisken, Nest, and Orion break into the Left.

Swamp Thing begins encasing his group with organic protection grown from the woods around him, to provide some cover for the Planeteers who prepare to summon their hero and Social Justice Warrior icon....

EARTH

WIND

WATER

FIRE

HEART

With their powers combined, they form Captain Planet.....

The battle now truly begins, as the Bronze Dragons are alerted to the fighting as well.

The Planeteers accomplish bringing their super-hero friend in just in time, because immediately afterwards, Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, and Mercer mow down all five of them with machine gun fire. The Planeteers manage to get out several complaints about how nobody needs an AR-15 with their last breaths, while Sachi the monkey uses sign language to say “I'm comin Harambe”.

The Bronze Dragons swoop down in unison, but the Renegades focus fire on the center and take out Bronze Dragon #2 before the other two dragons swallow Red Dog and Taurus whole. Slaughter and the former Cobra Viper Mercer turn to focus their attacks on the next dragon; but Swamp Thing manages to join the fight by hitting Mercer with a White energy blast, while slaughtering Slaughter with a tree trunk to the face.

Apollo and Orion are locked in a powerhouse small g, big B god Battle, while Keno and Enfys Nest are locked in a Becks-esque pitched battle as well. Sarumon and Snake Plisken was not as even a match though as Sarumon simply motioned his staff towards the ex-con turned hero sending him into an oak tree from the Second Age eye patch first. Apollo and Orion get all mystical and ethereal before they deliver some cosmic, lightning punches into each other's domes until they finally, gracefully, and honorably join each other in death. Keno keeps the fight going with some serious Kung Fu that would make no one wonder why they pulled him out of the Donatello suit and gave him a name; but Enfys Nest comes back with her aggressive, yet skilled style and smokes him in the face with her energy staff.

Capt. Planet joins the scene, flying in fast, flanked by the two remaining Bronze Dragons. Enfys Nest stands ready for their attack, but her defenses are unnecessary as Master Ti and Master Jinn leap out of the woods and attack. Shaak Ti forcefully Force pushes Capt. Power into Dragon #1 knocking them both senseless. Qui Gonn, in unison with his Jedi partner leaps onto the back of Dragon #3 delivering a perfectly placed Lightsaber thrust into the back of the dragon's neck, he then gracefully leaps off the back of the dying dragon and delivers his green saber into the chest of Capt. Planet.

Ti, Jinn, and Nest then join forces and rush Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing stands on the defensive and sends a enveloping sheet of white energy towards the trio from a Far Far away Galaxy. Qui Gon and Shaak Ti ignite their lightsabers and block the blast, but Nest is not so well-equipped and is de-materialized by it. Shaak and Qui dig inward, focusing and combining all of their Force powers through the vehicle of their lightsabers to send the energy back at Swamp Thing, who is surprisingly being overtaken by it; when Sarumon rushes into the scene and delivers a magical blast that throws off the concentration of the Jedi Masters allowing the full power of White Lantern Swamp Thing to obliterate them.

A dazed Swamp Thing looks up to see the outreached hand of Sarumon the White over top of him.

“I thought I alone knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men”...

As Sarumon helps his partner up he responds inquisitively: “An Alliance”??