John and Vader's House of Sith Aids vs. Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Sith Aids: Pretender Monsters Chop Shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage; Deluxe Insecticons Birdbrain, Bristleback, Icepick, Scowl, Slog, Wildfly; Darth Sion, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala in AT-RT

Barkley: Smaug, Nazgul #5 on #5’s Mordor Horse, Zufa Cenva, Norma Cenva, Treebeard, Ent#1-3, Entwives #1-2, Batwoman

The Woodland Realm, later known as Northern Mirkwood, is home to the Silvan Elves. It produced the best archer in Fantasy Fantasy history, Legolas. Too bad I was not blessed with the honor of writing him.

Yes, I know there’s archers like Hawkeye who literally can’t miss, but come on, the man is the most graceful specimen ever being able to get on a horse that is at full gallop speed. You can’t top it, you just can’t.

Anyways, do not stray far from the main path, for if you do not know these woods, you will may never find your way. Orcs, Great Spiders, and other savage beings roam these woods, be careful where you step…

Is that Treebeard… and more ents... and their entwives?? I thought they lived in Fangorn, they must’ve gotten lost. They at least finally found the entwives who had to of accidently found their way into the northern woods of Mirkwood where they spent centuries awaiting their ancient husbands to find them. The reunion was cut short by the stench of oiled machinery in the realm of nature. Deluxe Insecticons and Pretender Monsters approached alongside Darth Sion, a child with a lot of midichlorians, and his future love which may have been manipulated, but that’s beside the point.

The happy trees formed a plan with the rest of the Terrible Decisions by Barkley, Norma Cenva leading discussion for her genius nature and ability to see the future. As she looks into the ever changing future, she is weary of what is to come, uncertain that her team can be victorious. Smaug listens from above the treeline, Nazgul #5 is impatient, the ents do not speak for they’d be dead by the time they could finish greetings, Zufa Cenva is proud in her daughter taking charge, and Batwoman pretends to listen as she’ll most likely go on her own path along the shadows.

Sith Aids are in not much better of a situation, with most being unfocused on battle. Anakin is love stricken by Padme, Venom is paranoid someone is trying to overthrow him as leader, Darth Sion is filled with hatred, Chop Shop is scoping out what he can steal, most of the Deluxe Insecticons are worried about their sluggish shells slowing them down, and the rest just want to demolish everything.

Nazgul #5 rushes in on his mordor horse, full charge towards the oncoming transformers completely throwing Norma Cenva’s plan in the trash. Batwoman is not far behind, but in a more secretive way jumping across the treeline, branch to branch. Ransack, being the warrior he is, crushes Nazgul #5 in an instant with legs so powerful, his calves might be bigger than mine. Venom thinks this first kill would put Ransack in power, so he quickly sticks Ransack with his stinger, killing him instantly. Venom believes this can keep in in power for a moment, but is cut short by Zufa Cenva tearing the middle finger looking stinger on Venom’s head and stabbing it in him and Barrage.

Across the trees, Slog, Wildfly, and Icepick are obliterating the forest just so they can destroy something. This clearly infuriates the ents, and they wanna say something about it. As they approach, Ents #2-3 get snapped in half accidently while the pretender monsters are going to work on the forest. Treebeard no longer wants to talk and grabs a large boulder and crushes Icepick.

In the distance, Darth Sion, a sith who deals in absolutes, realizes Chop Shop is trying to steal his lightsaber, so he must be the enemy. Sion picks up the machinery of a being with the force and crushes him in on himself and hurls him across the forest taking out Treebeard and Ent #1.

Meanwhile, Smaug and Zufa Cenva go to work on the rest of the Pretender Monsters. Birdbrain’s defective shell easily succumbs to Smaug’s fire death. Zufa Cenva uses her telekinetic abilities to make Slog cave in on himself and then throw at Bristleback. Smaug scorches both just to be sure. As Zufa Cenva begins work on Padme’s AT-RT, Scowl makes use of his sonic scream and is so loud that Zufa Cenva’s mind implodes, not before the AT-RT is put out of commision, forcing Padme to move on foot. Smaug picks up Scowl with his talons and crushes him within Smaug’s grip. As doing so, Wildfly gets behind and rips the wings off of Smaug. He laughs thinking what he’s done to Smaug is an elaborate joke and does not realize before it’s too late, Smaug in his last moments takes a large bite of Wildfly and brings him crashing to the ground with him.

Anakin is joyous to have Padme off the AT-RT, now he can be real close to her. The sight sickens Sion and in a swoop, slices the future jedi in two. Padme is horrified, but must go on with battle as two entwives approach. With her decent accuracy, she is able to bring down the two with her blaster, but unable to dodge one falling on top of her.

In a final fight between Norma Cenva and Darth Sion, only one can be victorious. Norma Cenva is able to perceive every attack of Sion and is able to dodge every attack of his until he hits a tree, not realizing its path is right into him. Norma Cenva stands the win… is he alive? With my eyes before me, Sion is using his immense amounts of anger and the dark side of the force to will his body back to life. It is cut short by the perfect timing of Batwoman to the rescue, throwing a thermal grenade into his mouth, exploding his face.