S11 W3 - Be Gentle It’s My First Time vs The Genderless Shorties

Be Gentle It’s My First Time is: Zilla, Megalon, Chuck Norris penguin Suit, Mako (w/ yellow Lantern ring) with tiger sharks, Steppen Wolfe, Namorita, Black lantern Super Boy, Spinosaurus (4 deaths), Goober Fish #1-5, Carnage, Zombie Superman, Granny Goodness, Vincent Vega.

The Genderless Shorties are: Gamera, Nightsister Spirit, Nightsister Zombie, Joan Jett (in a Frog Suit), Don Rickles (in a Penguin Suit), The Lochness Monster, Hecate, Abe Sapien, Seaspray, Mimic, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, Hermes, The rest on an Aircraft Carrier: Vorian Attiedes (in command), (original) Duncan Idaho, Kobe Bryant, Allia Atreides, Lobot, Nazgul #9 on his Mordor Horse, Gurney Halleck, Salacious B. Crumb (with 7th Ring of the Dwarf Lords), Gumby and his Pony Pal Pokey, Kuiil, Jimmy Olsen (w/ a Tanooki Suit), Lois Lane (w/ a cape feather), Ewok #4.

The water thrashed when Joan Jett and Don Rickles in their suits tried desperately to get away from Chuck Norris who easily catches and drowns the duo. Chuck then hopped on the back of Mako who, along with the other Tiger Sharks, started chasing after Seaspray who was transformed into boat mode. Seaspray was transporting NS Zombie, Hecate, Abe Sapien, Hermes, Mimic and the Toads to the aircraft carrier to rejoin their team. Hermes threw his staff at Chuck but it just deflected off his rock hard hairy bare chest and killed Gupp the tigershark instead. Seaspray then hit a bump (which turned out to just be Vincent Vega doing the frog backstroke eating a royale with cheese). The impact caused Hecate to be tossed from the ship where she was eaten by Dolph. The blood from Vega then splashed in the eyes of Yellow Toad and Blue Toad and they both instantly died from Covid-19.

Nightsister spirit possesses the body of Granny Goodness who has just taken out Duncan Idaho and Gurney Man with the help of Steppen Wolfe. As the spirit takes her over, she turns on Steppen Wolfe and kills him and sets her sights on the rest of her own team. Carnage sees this and tears the old woman in half and throws her corpse over the edge of the ship.

Kuiil is trying to repair a helicopter on the opposite end of the deck when he crosses up some wires wrong and the engine explodes causing the tail rudder to impale the chest of Kobe Bryant and the explosion killing the ugnaught. I have spoken.

Chuck and his Tigersharks have Seaspray surrounded along with Goober Fish #1-5 and Spinosaurus. The sharks charge first and Chuck leaps onto the deck of the ship and starts a fight with Hermes as the sharks rock the boat from underneath. All are thrown into the sea when Seaspray transforms into a “person” and starts hurling goober fish and sharks at the hull of the Aircraft Carrier. Spinosaurus gets a hold of Chuck’s leg and rips it off. The fighting is intense when suddenly they are all frozen by zombie Superman. Superboy follows up and with a powerful punch shatters everyone into pieces. Did everyone here deserve better deaths, probably. But since I don’t know how calendars work, you get what you get.

Oh yeah, Bee-Tee-Dubs, while all this was going on, a Japanese film crew was shooting a movie in the background. It's a giant fight between Zilla (which is godzilla but from the Ferris Bueller Remake) and Megalon VS. The Lochness Monster and Gamera. It looks like a sweet fight. One of those monsters was beating another one using Nessie as a club. I can’t tell from here. I’ve been watching the developments on the boat.

Vorian and Lobot are on the bridge trying to keep the boat steady. As if the large reptilian fight wasn’t enough, Namorita has created a whirlpool in the sea that is causing the ship to spin. Nazgul #9 is able to somehow cut the head off Carnage after he loses his balance and trips over ewok #4.

At the same moment the hull of the ship is torn open with the dead body of Megalon and the ship begins to consume water at an alarming pace. Everyone is sliding across the deck of the ship. Before Black Lantern Superboy can take flight, Alia Atreides was already on his back driving the gob jabbar in his neck. Why, you ask? Because she already knew this was going to happen. Prescient Vision, yo.

Jimmy Olsen was able to grab Lois Lane and, using his tanooki suit, flew her to the bow of the ship that was now quickly rising in the sea. They laid on the edge of the ship as it stood straight up for a moment before beginning to sink. The two held hands. “Don’t let go, Lois!” Jimmy yelled as they watched all the rest of their teammates fall into the sea below and get finished off by the waves or by Zombie Supes buzzing back and forth.

An exhausted Zilla, sole survivor of the monster fight, arrives at the ship and devours the pair before they can be swallowed by the ocean.