Post Royal Rumble Warning List

Alice's Wonder Team

Kimbo Slice (9)

Tyler Derdon (9)

The Syracuse Valley

Rumble (8)

ROYAL RUMBLE

The floor of Madison Square Garden has been specially outfitted to handle today’s match. In middle of the arena there is an enlarged wrestling ring, which is surrounded by a moat of liquid hot magma. The first combatant is about to be teleported to the ring. Over the loud speaker erupts the famous Roger Daltrey scream from “We Won’t Get Fooled Again” as Aloysius Snuffleupagus from the Untouchables, teleports to the middle of the ring. Then free agent Harley Race enters as #2. The bell rings and Harley charges at the mammoth-muppet and tries to land a high knee strike into Snuffy’s side. This barely staggers the Untouchables member. Snuffy whips his trunk around Race’s side and flips him over the top rope and into the lava, eliminating him. Snuffy is not in the ring alone for very long as #3 teleports in, which is Alice’s Wonder Team’s Kimbo Slice. He attacks Snuffy quickly, laying several hard blows to his head. Snuffleupagus knocks Kimbo away and starts knocking him around the ring with his trunk. A loud growl is then heard from behind them, as The Beast from Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches enters at #4. He leaps onto Snuffy’s back clawing at him viciously. This allows Kimbo to get back on his feet. They start double-teaming the mammoth from Sesame Street. The Beast bites Snuffy in the back of neck, which causes him to let out a massive scream of pain. He flays his trunk around wildly, finally knocking The Beast off of him. The fifth entrant is about to be teleported to the ring. Kimbo Slice’s partner, Tyler Durden enters the Royal Rumble, which does not bode well for Snuffleupagus. The three members from the Bryan Beckerman Division triple team Snuffy. The Beast leaps back on top of Snuffy and continues to slash at Snuffy’s back. Tyler and Kimbo try to wear out Snuffy by hitting him in the head and knees. Snuffy in a last ditch effort, start whipping his trunk around knocking both Kimbo and Tyler off of their feet. He grabs The Beast with his trunk and tries to throw him out, but The Beast grabs a hold of the ring ropes and slips back in. Snuffy picks up Kimbo Slice and starts to beat Tyler Durden with him. He then launches Kimbo out of the ring and into the lava. #6 then enters the ring, Navy Sailor #10 from Team Fred. This Navy Sailor was the one who Brainiac had been experimenting on in the locker room. He immediately attacks the weakened Snuffy. Along with The Beast he attempts to pick Snuffy up and toss him out. They get the mammoth up but couldn’t get him out. Navy Sailor #10 then turns his attention to Tyler Durden. He leaps at Tyler and bites his jugular, killing him. He then tosses Tyler’s body out of the ring, eliminating him. The Abomitrons member, Sgt. Mike Shinsky, now enters the Royal Rumble at #7. He pulls out his side arm and shoots Navy Sailor #10 in the chest, killing him. However Snuffy is the one who is credited with the elimination, when he tosses Navy Sailor #10’s body out into the lava. Snuffy crumples in the corner with exhaustion and pain as Shinsky tangles with The Beast. This match up isn’t contested for very long, as The Beast viciously slashes open the Sergeant’s midsection and eliminates him into the lava. The Beast takes a moment himself to regain some strength as both he and Snuffy await #8. A few moments later Sayid Jarrah from George Washington’s Slaves is teleported into the ring. The former Iraqi Republican Guard bargains with The Beast to work over Snuffleupagus, who at this point has lost a lot of blood. Sayid climbs up on to Snuffy’s back and grabs his trunk and begins to choke him with it. The Beast slashes again at Big Bird’s best friend. As they attack him #9 is teleported to the ring. Ron Popeil from Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies enters. He is equipped with two brand new gadgets. The first is what causes Snuffy’s ultimate demise, which is the Ronco Disposable Mini Teleporter. Ron fires the RDMT at Snuffy with makes him disappear and then reappear right over the lava, killing Snuffleupagus. His other gadget is the Ronco Never-Move Boots. Ron turns them on and secures himself to the ring apron. Sayid and The Beast are trading blows, with Sayid on the short end of the stick. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets member, Usagi Yojimbo, enters at #10. He makes an impact quickly, as he slices Sayid in half with is samurai sword and eliminates both halves. He then runs through The Beast with his sword. The Beast falls to his knees and bleeds out. Unfortunately, Usagi isn’t quite strong enough to pick him up and eliminate him. He turns his attention to Ron Popeil but is interrupted by combatant #11, Team Fred’s Griffin. He swoops in and picks the samurai rabbit up and flies high up into the rafters. Griffin claws at Usagi’s armor as they fly in the air. Usagi is able to flip over and land on Griffin’s back and steers him towards the ring, where Ron Popeil is standing firmly. Just then combatant #12 is teleported to the ring, which greatly ups the power level in this battle. Unfortunately, this power is wielded by utter incompetence. G’Nort of Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderfiles enters the ring and immediately encases all three of the other combatants in green energy cages. He then uses his power ring to patch up the barely breathing Beast. All any of this does is waste time as #13 is about to enter. The Right Wing’s Jedi Padawan #1, Gary, is teleported down. He sees this ridiculousness happening, but before he attacks he takes a final drag from his cigarette and guzzles the last bit of his Diet 7-Up. Gary then lets out a sigh of what seems to almost be from boredom. He nonchalantly walks toward G’Nort and pulls out a big milk bone out of his tunic. Gary waves it at G’Nort and tosses it over the ropes. G’Nort races after it and jumps over the top rope, but just before he lands in the lava he fires up his power ring and flies up into the air with the milk bone. Gary finally decides to take action, and not a moment too soon, since #14 is teleported to the ring. U.S.A.F. Colonel Guy Gardner lands in the middle of the ring, thick mustache and all. “God Damn it! Guy Gardner?! Another freakin’ Green Lantern?? I thought there were point restrictions on this match?” cries out Gary. Col. Gardner lays a mean right cross right across the 14-year-old’s jaw. “Wrong Guy Gardner, you little punk,” replies the Colonel. Gardner turns to attack the other combatants. He is then greeted with a lightsaber in his back. Gary then uses the Force to lift Gardner’s body out of the ring and into the lava. By this time, combatant #15 enters the ring. Legion of Doom’s Randy Couture jumps at the chance to finish off The Beast. He leaps on to his chest and start leveling him with vicious forearms, knocking him unconscious. Randy then calls fellow Nick Houslander Division member, Gary, to help him eliminate The Beast. With most likely some help from the Force, they manage to eliminate The Beast finally. Usagi Yojimbo, Griffin, and Ron Popeil are all still trapped inside green energy cages, as G’Nort flies around eating his milk bone. All of a sudden a loud “Wooooooooooo” echoes throughout Madison Square Garden as Better Than All of You member Ric Flair enters at #16. Gary looks around and decides this would be a great time to take a smoke break. He crouches down over in corner and uses his lightsaber to light a cigarette. “Whoa, The Natural vs. The Nature Boy. Cool,” comments Gary. Ric Flair instantly throws Randy over into a corner and lands to loud and wicked chops to Couture’s chest. G’Nort finishes his milk bone and decides to come back to the ring. He lifts all but one of the energy cages. Being as loyal as he is, G’Nort keeps the energy cage around his teammate Ron Popeil, for added protection. Combatant #17 is now teleported to the ring. Lion-O from the Horsemen of Apokolips enters and stares down Usagi Yojimbo. The two swordsmen clash right in the middle of the ring with animalistic rage. As they battle, Flair and Couture continue to fight as well. Gary is forced to flick his cigarette into the lava before he was finished with it, because Griffin is flying full force right at him. Gary leaps in the air and does a back flip over Griffin, slicing one of his wings off with his lightsaber. This causes Griffin to spin out of control and crashes into the lava. Gary, Ric Flair, Randy Couture, Usagi Yojimbo, Lion-O and G’Nort are all jolted off of their feet due to the mighty thud that combatant #18 makes as he is teleported to the ring. “Ah crap. Freakin’ Jabba the Hutt. How the hell are we suppose to eliminate that pile of goo?” exclaims Gary. George Washington’s Slaves member Jabba the Hutt bellows “Da beesga coo palyeeya pityee bo tenya go kaka juju hoopa.” Gary moves towards the gangster but then receives a forearm right to the mouth. “Coona tee-tocky malia, Couture?” asks Jabba. “Sorry Jabba, I was busy with Flair. But it will be a pleasure to protect you, as long as the money is worth it,” replies the UFC fighter. This alliance is extremely short lived, as Ric Flair suplexes Randy over the ropes and into the lava. “Woooooooo!” shouts Flair as he struts across the ring. Lion-O and Usagi are still engaged is a major sword duel as G’Nort guards Ron Popeil from any attack. TEAM’s Eject enters as #19 and is excited to finally be in some sort of sports atmosphere. The transformer is Force pushed into the turnbuckle by Gary. Lion-O and Usagi’s match-up finally reaches its apex as Lion-O blocks a kill blow from Usagi with his Claw Shield. He then uses it to fire his grappling lines to launch himself into the air so he has a clean shot at Usagi Yojimbo. Lion-O blasts Usagi over the ropes and into the lava with energy bolts from the Sword of Omens. He then lands back into the ring only to be blasted out of it by Eject. B.A. Baracus, combatant #20, enters the ring, but sadly exits it almost just as quickly. Gary Force pushes him right out of the ring. “I pitty da foo’ who can’t stay in the Rumble for more than two seconds,” quips Jedi Padawan #1. Gary than fires up a cigarette and makes a spin move, plunging his lightsaber into Jabba the Hutt. Ric Flair then chop blocks Gary’s knees and slaps the figure four leg lock onto the Padawan. The entire ring begins to quake as combatant #21 enters the ring. Syracuse Valley’s Rumble is pounding the ring apron with his pistons but is dropkicked by Eject. Gary while writhing in pain from the figure four leg lock uses the Force to grab his lightsaber, which is lying by Jabba’s body. He then cuts off Ric Flair’s head. “Does this make me The Man?” asks Gary to Flair’s decapitated body. He then tosses it out of the ring. Rumble sweeps Eject’s legs and jumps on top of him. Rumble uses his pistons to pound a hole right through Eject’s chest, and then eliminates him. He then picks Jabba’s body up and launches it into the lava. “There’s a reason they call this the Royal RUMBLE!” exclaims the Decepticon. Rumble then stares down Gary and G’Nort who are both in front of a protected Ron Popeil. Combatant #22 is teleported between the other fighters. Built Ford Tough’s namesake, Harrison Ford, enters the match. “SWEET! Harrison freakin’ Ford!” exclaims Gary. Harrison responds to this by walking over to Gary and smashing a bottle of Jack Daniels over the Padawan’s head and tossing him out into the lava, eliminating him. Meanwhile, Rumble has jumped on top of Ron Popeil’s protective green energy cage and starts pounding away at it. “So what second rate Wookie are you supposed to be?” Ford asks G’Nort. But before G’Nort can answer, #23 is teleported to the ring. It happens to be one of President-Elect Obama’s personal bodyguards, Tarfful. The Wookie Chieftain punches G’Nort right in the mouth and shoots him in the head with his massive long-gun. Tarfful picks up G’Nort’s body and tosses it into the lava. He then looks a Harrison Ford with what seems to be slight puzzlement. Since G’Nort has been eliminated, Popeil’s green energy cage that was protecting him vanishes. Tarfful is tackled by Rumble and they start to fight. Harrison Ford kicks Ron in the stomach and tries to eliminate him but cannot lift him due to the Ronco Never-Move Boots. Combatant #24, Andre the Giant from Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade, is teleported to the ring. He slaps Ford out of the way and tries to pick up Popeil, but he cannot either. So instead, Andre helps out Tarfful with his attack on Rumble. Andre wraps Rumble up in a bear hug and actually starts to crush his Cybertronian chest. The Decepticon head butts Andre, which causes the giant to release his hold. He then shoots Andre in the chest with his gun, and eliminates him. Just then, #25 enters the fray. It’s the Bad Newz Kennelz’s Ookla the Mok, and he attacks Tarfful with great rage and aggression. He claws at the Wookie and just as he is about to come down with a slash across the neck, Harrison Ford knocks Ookla off of Tarfful. Harrison offers his hand to Tarfful, open accepts the help. The Commandos member now owes life debt to the Built Ford Tough member. They team up and attack Ookla as #26 teleports in. Rumble’s teammate Frenzy comes in and they start wreaking havoc. They smash into the fight between Tarfful, Ookla and Ford. Fur goes flying into the air as Tarfful and Ookla are sent flying over the ropes and into the lava. Combatant #27 isn’t teleported into the ring; instead, Horsemen member Bugs Bunny burrows up through the ring, near one of the turnbuckles. “Ehhh, What’s up Doc? Nice boots,” Bugs says to Ron Popeil. Rumble and Frenzy start firing their lasers at the new entrant, but he jumps and dodges all of their blasts. Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade’s other entrant, Sonny Corleone, enters as #28. He leaps at Ron Popeil, and starts beating the living crap out of him. Sonny doesn’t even try to eliminate him. He’s just irritated that this salesman has been in the ring since #9. Ron’s feet are still firmly planted, but he’s fallen down as Sonny continues to kick and punch him. Bugs Bunny races over and rabbit kicks Sonny over the ropes and out of the ring. “I’m the rabbit of the hour, the rabbit with the power, too sweet to be sour. The women's pet, the men's regret. What you see is what you get. And what you don't see is better yet,” Bugs arrogantly says after knocking out the hotheaded Italian. “Hey that’s MY LINE!” entrant #29 angrily says as he clotheslines Bugs Bunny out of the ring. “Superstar” Billy Graham doesn’t last long in the ring either. Ron Popeil uses his Pocket Fisherman to snare Superstar’s neck and yanks him across the ring, flipping him into the lava. Rumble and Frenzy corner Harrison Ford into the ring, but both are blindsided by Rewind, combatant #30. This allows Ford to get out of the way. Rewind puts up a good fight, but is just simple out numbered. Rewind is blasted to pieces by the Decepticons and his remains are tossed into the lava. Bruno Sammartino is teleported to the ring as #31. “The Living Legend” is never one to back down from a fight and runs right up to Frenzy and rocks him right off of his feet with a running knee lift. He is then knocked away by Rumble. Peter Clemenza from the Brotherhood enters the Royal Rumble at #32. The portly Italian starts shooting at Rumble and Frenzy. His bullets don’t affect them as much as their laser blast do to him. Clemenza is blasted right out of the ring and into the lava. Harrison Ford’s teammate Wilt enters at #33 to give him, Bruno, and Ron some help against the Syracuse Valley Decepticons. He’s not much help with only one arm and a messed up eye. His lanky legs do allow him to move around quickly. Chow Yun Fat is teleported in as #34 and sweeps Wilt’s legs out from underneath him. He then karate chops Harrison Ford in the throat. Ron Popeil tries to use his Pocket Fisherman again but Chow sees it coming and ducks out of the way. Rumble and Frenzy start pounding the ring apron again, knocking everyone (except Ron, of course) off of their feet. Combatant #35 enters the ring, and starts cleaning house. The Untouchables member Maul increases his size and knocks Bruno Sammartino out of the ring. He grabs Wilt and uses him as a baseball bat to knock Chow Yun Fat up into the rafters, who then falls into the lava. Rumble and Frenzy both blast him with their lasers, which bring Maul to his knees as #36 enters. Thundarr the Barbarian enters and attacks the Decepticons in vengeance for Ookla’s death. He cuts Frenzy’s right leg off with his Sun Sword. He then decapitates Frenzy. He then uses his strength to eliminate the Transformer. Maul finally discards Wilt’s limp body into the lava. Maul turns his attention to Rumble, who at this point is a little smaller than Maul. The Untouchable member grabs a hold of Rumble piston arms before he can start pounding the ground, and literally rips them from his body. Maul then kicks Rumble out and into the lava. Combatant #37 is teleported into the ring and attacks wildly. Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches member, Warg #1, smells Ron Popeil’s blood and races toward him. But Thundarr leaps on to it’s back and rides him towards the ropes. He gets the Warg to jump over the ropes and at the last second, Thundarr leaps off back into the ring, letting Warg #1 fall into the lava. “I am a Real American, Fight for the rights of every man” is heard over the loudspeakers as #38 enters the ring. “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan is teleported in and delivers a big boot to Thundarr the Barbarian and launches him out of the ring. Hogan then goes and attempts to body slam Ron Popeil out of the ring. But this is a hard feat with the Never-Move Boots. Ron lets out an awful scream as Hogan rips Popeil up off of the apron and body slams him into the lava. Hogan turns around to see that Popeil’s legs from knee down are still attached to the ring with the Never-Move Boots. Maul slams his fist into the ring apron and rips the part where Ron’s boots are still stuck to and uses it to knock Hulk Hogan out of the ring. The Abomitrons member, Death Adder, is teleported to the ring at #39. Death Adder uses to magic to zap Maul down to normal size and clotheslines him out of the ring. At this point the final combatant is teleported in to the Royal Rumble. It’s Nick Houslander from The Right Wing. Just as he is teleported in, he witnesses Death Adder kill Harrison Ford and launch him into the lava. “Nooooooooooooo!!!” screams Nick, as he watches Ford disintegrate in the hot magma. “Ok Death Adder, I’ve beaten you a million time in the game. This won’t be any different,” says Nick. He pulls out his double barrel shotgun and blasts Death Adder square in the chest. This brings Death Adder to one knee, but does not stop him for long. The 7’11” 900 lbs. keeps coming at him, and shows Nick meaning of the word “Abomitron” and continues to destroy everything in his path. He knocks Nick around the ring from pillar to post. “The Big House” tries desperately to form some sort of offensive, but is just simply outmatched. Death Adder kicks him hard into the turnbuckles and then picks him up over his head and eliminates Nick to win the Royal Rumble. As Nick perishes in the lava, a giant scroll comes down from the rafters pointing out that he received a B- for this match.

THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!

The Abomitrons win Blackbird-1 (X-Men’s Jet) for winning the Royal Rumble.

The Right Wing wins the Millennium Chowder (Josh’s Daytona Pacifica) for being the last person eliminated.

The Untouchables win General Grievous’s Wheel Bike for eliminating the most characters. (Eight: Harley Race, Kimbo Slice, Navy Sailor #10, Bruno Sammartino, Chow Yun Fat, Wilt, Rumble & Hulk Hogan.)

Royal Rumble Entrants

Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches: The Beast & Warg #1
Team Fred: Griffin (Johnny Horton) & Navy Sailor #10 (Brainiac Enhanced)
The Abomitrons: Death Adder & Sgt. Mike Shinsky
Alice's Wonder Team: Tyler Durden & Kimbo Slice
Horsemen of Apokolips: Lion-O & Bugs Bunny
TEAM: Eject & Rewind
The Untouchables: Maul & Aloysius Snuffleupagus
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv: Thundarr the Barbarian & Ookla the Mok
George Washington's Slaves: Jabba the Hutt & Sayid Jarrah
Le' Napoleon's Brigade: Andre the Giant & Santino 'Sonny' Corleone
Legion of Doom: Randy Couture & B.A. Baracus
The Syracuse Valley: Rumble & Frenzy
Hannah & Barack's Commandos: Chow Yun Fat & Tarfful
Better Than All of You: Hulk Hogan & "Nature Boy" Ric Flair
The Right Wing: Gary (Jedi Padawan #1) & Nick Houslander
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies: G'Nort & Ron Popeil
Built Ford Tough: Harrison Ford & Wilt
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Usagi Yojimbo & Peter Clemenza
Waiver Entrants: "Superstar" Billy Graham, Harley Race, Bruno Sammartino, & Colonel Guy Gardner

Season 2 Characters

The character lists for the Second Season of Fantasy Fantasy League are now up! You can find them on the right side of this website. Start your prospect lists now! We, the Commissioners, are looking forward to seeing you all at the 2009 FFL Draft this February.

Josh Houslander
Commissioner

Ryan Poteracki
Vice-Commissioner

2009 Draft Rules

-There will be 32 rounds in the draft.
-The draft will be done in a serpentine order (1-18 on the odd rounds and 18-1 on the even rounds).
-4 of your picks can be characters that are not on the draft list.
-1 of your 4 off list picks can be a group of people.
-Your group pick is subject to approval by the comissioner.
-If you have a group in mind and you are unsure if they will be approved you can talk to the commissioner and gain pre-approval (it will be kept confidential).
-When drafting commons in the first 5 rounds you may take as many as you want (up to 100% of those available).
-In rounds 6-32 you cannot take more than half of the amount of commons available in 1 pick (if you would like to take more of them with other picks you can).
-Your first 5 picks cannot be dropped from your roster for the entire 2009 season.
-Your first 2 picks cannot be dropped or traded from your roster for the entire 2009 season.
-Your first pick can never be dropped from your roster and cannot be traded until after the 2009-2010 seasons.

Calender of Notable Fantasy Fantasy Dates

December 1, 2008: Due date for Royal Rumble entries.
February 5, 2009: Free agency is temporarily suspended (rosters are not frozen and trading is still allowed, only characters on the waiver wire cannot be added to your roster).
February 7, 2009: The 2009 Fantasy Fantasy League Draft (A temporary waiver order will be set in place for any undrafted or waiver wire characters that may be wanted by any team owner).
February 12, 2009: Due date for Pre-Season line-ups.
February 16, 2009: Any requested characters that went undrafted or were previously on the waiver wires will be released to the proper team owner.
February 17, 2009: Due date for official/finalized Season 2 rosters.
February 18, 2009: Free agency is re-opened and the waiver wire is returned to first come first serve.
February 19, 2009: Due date for Week 1 line-ups.
February 20, 2009: Official beginning of The 2009 Fantasy Fantasy Season.

Newly Added Preseason Match

Prize: AT-ST
Points: 100
Setting: The Mountains of Eternia

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battallion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Better Than All of You Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Right Wing
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. TEAM
Built Ford Tough Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Team Fred Vs. Legion of Doom
Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurv Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Abomitrons Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches

2009 FFL Draft Spots

1. Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies (traded 1st & 2nd Round rights away to Horsemen of Apokolips)
2. Alice's Wonder Team
3. The Untouchables
4. Team Fred
5. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
6. Better Than All of You
7. Horsemen of Apokolips
8. The Syracuse Valley
9. Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches
10. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
11. The Abomitrons (new ownership, formerly Reign Supremacy)
12. Hannah Montana & (President Elect) Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
13. Legion of Doom (new ownership, name possibly to change)
14. Built Ford Tough
15. George Washington's Slaves
16. The Right Wing
17. Le' Napoleon's Brigade
18. TEAM

Note from the Commissioner

On behalf of myself, The Nick Houslander Division, The National League, and all in involved in The Fantasy Fantasy Community I would like to send out my most heartfelt congratulations to Mily, Victor, Dave, Ellen, Jar Jar, and of course Barack and the rest of his Commandos on becoming only the 43rd person in U.S. history to undertake the most difficult job in the world (and no I don't mean being the head coach of a FFL team). I hope his administration gives us all a taste of "The Best of Both Worlds" in what will be a difficult journey. So from the head Watcher and from every member of The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: God Bless Barack Obama and God Bless America.

-Your humble Commissioner

Josh

The Commandos

Mandatory Royal Rumble Match!

Setting: Madison Square Garden
Entrants: 2 from each team and 4 from the waiver wire. (40 total)
Points: 20 (single character), 30 (combined total for both characters)
Prize: Blackbird-1 (X-Men Jet)
Runner-Up Prize: Millennium Chowder (Josh’s Daytona Pacifica)
Most Eliminations Prize: General Grievous’s Wheel Bike

Yep... This is a mandatory match.

Before the match begins, the contestants draw spots in the Rumble. The match consists of forty participants, beginning with the two characters who chose entry numbers one and two in the ring. At regular timed intervals, one of the remaining 38 characters enters the ring via teleportation. Participants must eliminate (i.e. kill) all other opponents, and the winner of the event is the last character remaining after all others have been eliminated. The ring will be surrounded by a moat of lava.

There are limits to who you may enter in the match. You must enter two characters into the Royal Rumble. The point cap on a single character is 20 points, and with the combined total of 30 points for both of them. This is a deathmatch. The deadline to enter combatants will be December 1^st. Remember this is a mandatory match (think of it like pre-season). If you do not e-mail Josh or Ryan with your two characters, they will be chosen for you. There will be several prizes to be won. There will be 4 entries from the waiver list to reach the total of 40 participants.

Feel free to e-mail Ryan with any questions you may have.

Fantasy Fantasy League: Season 2 Schedule

Week 1
Setting: Detroit
Points: 75
Prize: Land Speeder

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Untouchables
Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv Vs. TEAM
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Team Fred Vs. The Abomitrons
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Built Ford Tough
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Legion of Doom
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. The Right Wing
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Better Than All of You


Week 2
Setting: Valverdi
Points: 200
Prize: A Ferrarri

Built Ford Tough Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both
Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Brock Sampsons Fighting Murderflies
Better Than All of You Vs. The Right Wing
Team Fred Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM
The Abomitrons Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
The Syracuse Valley Vs. Legion of Doom
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade


Week 3
Setting: The Atlantic Ocean
Points: 500
Prize: Swiff Boat

Built Ford Tough Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
Better Than All of You Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds"
Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Untouchables Vs. Team Fred
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Micheal Vicks Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Legion of Doom
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. TEAM
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. The Abomitrons
The Right Wing Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
The Syracuse Valley Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies


Week 4
Setting: Arrakis
Points: 800
Prize: Arwing

Built Ford Tough Vs. Team Fred
Better Than All of You Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
The Untouchables VS. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons
TEAM Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battlion of
Commandos
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Right Wing
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Legion of Doom


Week 5
Setting: The Milkey Way
Points: 1200
Prize: Batman Week?

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing
Built Ford Tough Vs. TEAM
Better Than All of You Vs. The Abomitrons
The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
Team Fred Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. Legion of Doom
The Syracuse Valley Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets


Week 6
Setting: 50,000 Acre Open Grassland
Points: 2000
Prize: Unique Star Wars Week?

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM
Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches Vs. Team Fred
Better Than All of You Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Built Ford Tough Vs. The Untouchables
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
The Right Wing Vs. Legion of Doom
The Syracuse Valley Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds"
Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Abomitrons Vs. Alice's Wonder Team


Week 7
Setting: The Forest Moon of Endor
Points: 701
Prize: Tie Bomber

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing
Better Than All of You Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds"
Touring Battalion of Commandos
Built Ford Tough Vs. George Washington's Slaves
The Untouchables Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeytaches
Team Fred Vs. The Syracuse Valley
TEAM Vs. The Abomitrons
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Legion of Doom Vs. Alice's Wonder Team


Week 8
Setting: The Pacific Ocean
Points: 699
Prize: Snow-Speeder

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Built Ford Tough Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Better Than All of You Vs. Legion of Doom
The Untouchables Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Abomitrons
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Team Fred
TEAM Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Right Wing Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battlion of Commandos
Vs. George Washingtons Slaves


Week 9
Setting: Hoth
Points: 400
Prize: An Ornithopter

The Syracuse Valley Vs. Legion of Doom
Built Ford Tough Vs. The Abomitrons
Better Than All of You Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Untouchables Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. TEAM
Team Fred Vs. The Right Wing
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv


Week 10
Setting: The Jundland Wastes
Points: 175
Prize: Hover Craft

Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Hannah Montana & Barack Obamas "Best of
Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Better Than All of You Vs. The Syracuse Valley
Team Fred Vs. TEAM
Built Ford Tough Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Untouchables Vs. The Abomitrons
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
Legion of Doom Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Right Wing


Week 11
Setting: Bar Fight
Points: 55
Prize: Podracer

Built Ford Tough Vs. Micheal Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Luv
Better Than All of You Vs. George Washington's Slaves
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Team Fred
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Right Wing Vs. Brock Sampsons Fighting Murderflies
Alice's Wonder Team Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Abomitrons Vs. Legion of Doom
The Untouchables Vs. TEAM
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches

Consolation Match Prizes

Round 1: Rhino: Side by Side

Round 2: Postal Jeep

Round 3: Scooter

Play-Off Prizes

Play-off spot: Y-Wing

Division Winner: F-Zero racer

Semi-Finalist: Sub-Marine

League Winner: Guild Ship

SEASON 2 CHAMPION: The U.S.S. Enterprise

Post Optional Tournament Warning List.

Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Qui Gon Jinn (7)

Alice's Wonder Team

Ram Man (7)

Extinction Alice (8)

The Syracuse Valley

Darth Maul (7)

Ratbat (8)

Omega Red (8)

Master Chief (7)

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs George Washington's Slaves

Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, and Wonder Man.

George Washington’s Slaves are Yoda, Sauron, Thor, Martian Manhunter, and George Washington.

Here it is ladies and gentlemen, the event that probably five or six of you have been waiting for. The finals to the First Annual FFL Optional Tournament. To the victor goes ownership of the antiquated Kuat Systems Engineering Firespray-interceptor-class ship, Slave I. A prize so great that the General Managers of these to National League teams are willing to send their forces into three straight rounds of death-matches.

George Washington’s Slaves are the first to arrive at Ford Field. General Washington gathers his troops over by the Detroit Lions’ bench. He orders Thor and Martian Manhunter to form a line, guarding him from attack. Yoda nibbles on his gimmer stick, patiently waiting for the oncoming battle. He doesn’t need to wait very long, as Omega Supreme blasts through the roof of Ford Field. The massive Autobot lands and (as always) the rest of his body miraculously appear on the field. Out of the rocket jumps Asajj Ventress, Duncan Idaho and Wonder Man. Since Maxima had destroyed Duncan Idaho’s sword in the last round, Ventress has given one of her lightsabers to him. This is in no way a show of generosity or compassion, but just a simple desire not to lose. Omega Supreme transforms and is hit immediately by a lighting bolt called down by the God of Thunder. The initial bolt does close to no damage at all. So Thor follows it up with several more bolts. Head Coach Washington had given orders to his troops that Omega is their biggest threat (no pun intended) and needed to be eliminated quickly. Martian Manhunter joins Thor to attack Omega Supreme, much like they did against Tripticon. Yoda moves to confront Asajj Ventress and Duncan Idaho alone. Arrogantly Ventress moves against Yoda without Duncan. Yoda doesn’t even slow his run. He simply flips over Asajj, and keeps his sights on Duncan Idaho. Asajj Ventress runs a few feet more, before splitting in half like a filleted piece of salmon. Duncan Idaho ignites his lightsaber and to Yoda’s surprise, blocks his initial attack. Yoda is unable to continue the attack because he is blasted by a right cross by Wonder Man. Yoda then Force pushes Wonder Man away, slamming him into the chest of Omega Supreme. He then is smacked square in the face by Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir. This hit breaks Simon’s glasses, as well as sending him flying across the football field, right through the uprights. Thor leaves the battle against Omega Supreme to finish off the fellow Avenger. Wonder Man recovers from the attack and flies directly at Thor. They clash in mid air with such force that the shock waves blast out all of the surround windows. Thor and Wonder Man trade blows, with Wonder Man taking the brunt. Simon thinks to himself that Thor has never been this strong before. His suspicions are confirmed when he receives a lethal energy blast from Thor’s eyes. As Wonder Man falls, Thor returns to his real form; Martian Manhunter. J’onn J’onzz flies over and continues the attack on Omega Supreme. In an extremely unusual partnership, Yoda is joined by Sauron to finish off Duncan Idaho. The Swordmaster of the Ginaz is able to cut the Dark Lord’s mace in half with his lightsaber. However, he is not able to defend himself from a powerful blast of dark magic, nor the amazing lightsaber skills from the duo. Duncan Idaho’s blood stains the field. Now, Omega Supreme, the Brotherhood’s last line of defense, makes what could be his final stand. He strikes hard and fast. The giant Transformer lets loose an unbelievably huge blast from his plasma cannon, completely destroying the entire Detroit Lions’ sideline. At first look, this would seem to be an errant shot, but this was a targeted attack against the Slaves’ head coach. Martian Manhunter quickly flies around the Autobot, blasting him several times. Another lightning bolt cracks down from the heavens on to Omega Supreme. Thor then flies as fast as he can directly at him. Omega then grabs Thor out of mid-air with his huge claw and drives him hard into the ground. Then with one of his massive legs, he stomps Thor deeper and deeper into the ground, until the Asgardian God is lifeless. Yoda then flips and jumps up to the second level to position himself against the enormous Cybertronian. (Just to give you an idea on the ridiculous size difference between Yoda and Omega Supreme; imagine Shaquille O’Neal next to a mouse. Well a mouse holding a lightsaber.) Yoda uses the Force to propel himself towards the last member of the Brotherhood. Omega turns his head, and flips the laser cannon over to the front of his head and fires it several times. Yoda blocks all of them with his lightsaber, but cannot reach his target. Instead he lands on top of one of the goal posts. He takes another leap at him but is caught with a full power blast from Omega’s plasma cannon. The Jedi Master is completely vaporized. Omega then lets out an uncharacteristic scream of pain as he is hit with an amazing amount of evil magic from Sauron, who is down on the field. Then a giant explosion erupts from Omega Supreme’s chest. Once the smoke clears away, you see Martian Manhunter standing there in the hole he made in Omega’s chest. J’onn J’onzz stays floating in the air and the giant Transformer falls to the ground. Sauron doesn’t even bother moving, as Omega Supreme’s body crashes down around him. The dark lord stands safely right in the hole that Manhunter made. The only two survivors of this tournament take off out of Ford Field upon the newly acquired Slave I.

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!

Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

I, Bryatu, will be “watching” the second round Optional Tournament match between Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos and The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets.
Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is Qui Gonn Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, E’owyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima and David Bowman: The Starchild.
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man, Salaak, Link, Megalon and Wicket W. Warwick.
I hover above the stadium known as Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan. I weep at the thought of the individuals who normally play upon the field and how, unlike the present battle between evenly matched participants, they have suffered for over fifty years from embarrassment and futility. Nonetheless, I press on and again begin by entering into the locker room of the combatants.
In the locker room of the Commandos:
Qui Gonn: The battle shall be furious and thus, as in the first round, we should utilize our skills and strengths together as a team.
Tracks: I just know that when I enter battle, no matter what I fight, I look good. . . Looking good is what life is all about.
Agamemnon: Speaking of looking good, I think the women have something to say.
Ms. Marvel, Maxima and E’owyn [in unison]: Let’s do this!
In the Brotherhood’s locker room. . .
Idaho: My friends. . . Today, I plan to channel my hatred for the Harkonnens and use it to defeat the Commandos!
Asajj: The dark side will fuel my endeavor! I look forward to some slicing and dicing today.
Omega: Unyielding resolve has no conqueror!
Wicket: Yub nub!
The combatants are ready to wreak havoc upon each other and enter into the stadium. The lights dim, fireworks explode and the battle begins.
The first two participants meet at the fifty yard line and ignite their lightsabers. Both Asajj and Qui Gonn, in their specific beginning spar positions, circle one another.
Asajj: You are no match for the dark side Jinn! Lay your light saber down.
Jinn: Surrender now and your life will not be forfeit.
Ventress: This is a death match fool! One of us will be carried out in a body bag!
Jinn: Very well.
The two force wielders continue to circle one another. Without further hesitation, the two lash out. The loud clashing of their striking lightsabers is heard throughout the stands. Where Jinn is more controlled and fluid with his motions, Ventress’ ferocity manifests for all to see. The irony for all who watch is the differences seen in both Jinn’s and Ventress’ techniques, although both were taught by the same master - Count Dooku.
Ventress: My Master has trained you well Jinn.
Jinn: As he has you too Ventress. . . Yet he has trained you in the corrupt ways of the Sith while I am a true-blooded Jedi!
Jinn gains momentum as Ventress is slowly being worn down since she constantly needs to focus on her use of two lightsabers. Ventress’ mental gaff allows Jinn the opportunity to sweep her legs from beneath her with a force push. As Ventress begins to fall, she loses a lightsaber and immediately uses the loss of the weapon to her advantage. A flurry of crackling force lightning emits from her hand and engulfs Jinn’s body. Jinn screams in agony as the lightning smolders and singes his form. As Jinn begins to rise up, Ventress calls upon her lightsaber through the force and comes down with both blades. The double swiping motions of the blades decapitate Jinn twice. Jinn’s headless body falls to the ground.
Ventress [standing over Qui Gonn]: I must thank Tyranuss’ teachings , not Dooku’s, for my victory. . .
Wicket’s small legs carry him across the forty yard line toward the Commandos. The Lions mascot, Roary, watches from the sidelines. Roary suddenly feels someone jump on his back. Roary is mounted by Dernhelm, one of the Riders of Rohan. Dernhelm steers Roary toward the diminutive Brotherhood combatant. Although small, the ewok wants to taste the meat of the Lion’s mascot and throws a spear into Roary’s chest. The costumed head falls off the mascot and Wicket screams in frustration that he was fooled by a man disguised as a lion. The ewok then focuses on the rider who has now fallen off of Roary. To his dismay, he discovers that Dernhelm is actually E’owyn is disguise. Wicket becomes infuriated that he was fooled twice in one instance. He pulls out a stone axe from his leather belt and rushes upon E’owyn with the weapon in hand. E’owyn blocks the ewok’s blows with her shield and pierces the bear-like enemy through its stomach.
E’owyn: You may have been cute little one, but now you are no better than an appetizer for the Ford Field catering service. . .
As E’owyn lifts her eyes from the dead ewok she notices a brilliantly handsome man walking toward her. She is attracted to him at first until she realizes that he is the Atreides Swordmaster, Duncan Idaho.
Idaho: Shieldmaiden of Rohan, although you are a rare beauty, you must die. . .
E’owyn: I defeated your little pet so easily I am looking forward to a battle worth my while.
Idaho: It will be worth your while m’lady. . . It will be your death!
The Ginaz Sword Master focuses his ability and anger at E’owyn. E’owyn is a fierce foe, but as the House of Atreides affiliate who has defeated Count Hasimir Fenring in single combat, she is still not enough. Idaho impales E’owyn on his blade. She slowly slips off his blade.
Idaho: A death for the Brotherhood.
Having seen the loss of their fellow female teammate, Ms. Marvel and Maxima jump into the fray and head toward Idaho. Their combined superhuman strength and speed should be more than a match for this simple swordsman. Before they intersect, they are met by Wonder Man and Salaak.
Ms. Marvel, Maxima and Wonder Man instantly come together and make a mighty threesome. Their superhuman strength, speed, flight ability and stamina wear each other down as they fight both on and above the field. The Slyggian lantern corpsman waits for his opening. Wonder Man manages to throw Carol Danvers across the field. Wonder Man then focuses on Maxima and Salaak knows that this is his time to shine. The pickle-headed alien uses his ring powers to batter Maxima. Maxima shrugs off the blows, smiles and manages to use her mind control powers on Salaak. The Keeper of the Book of Oa then uses his ring on his teammate Wonder Man just as he is about to finish Ms. Marvel. Maxima is about to then have Salaak finish Wonder Man off when the 40,000 ton Megalon kicks her through the goal posts. With Maxima out of his mind, Salaak focuses on Ms. Marvel who is now being pummeled by Wonder Man. Ms. Marvel is crawling on the field in defeat. Megalon jumps in the air and almost takes flight. He crashes through Ford Field’s roof and comes down directly on Ms. Marvel. Megalon then uses his burrowing ability at incredible speed and places the tattered Ms. Marvel miles beneath the field. Ms. Marvel, nearly unconscious, sees Salaak and Wonder Man dump the earth and astroturf over her body. The alien and Avenger completely fill in the hole so that no air lies within space held by Ms. Marvel’s body. Trapped and without air, Ms. Marvel succumbs to being buried alive and dies a horrible death.
I look at the other participants. . .
One of the original Cymeks, Agamemnon, walks to the thirty yard line. The titan named machine-human hybrid is met by Link.
Agamemnon: You will be destroyed.
Link, who relies on his actions instead of words, simply smiles at the cyborg.
The bearer of the Master Sword begins to pummel Agamemnon. Agamemnon repeatedly blocks the sword with its body. Link is slowly becoming frustrated, but realizes that he has defeated Ganondorf, so he can definitely defeat this monstrosity. Link is wrong. Agamemnon, one of the most powerful of all cymeks, manages to capture Link by his foot when Link attempts to climb atop Agamemnon and destroy its brain with his legendary sword and light arrows. Just as Link carries his sword above his head, Agamemnon, now with Link’s legs in both arms, rips the teen apart. Link falls to the ground in two pieces.
As Agamemnon turns around and scans the Hylian’s body, he is pulled by Megalon’s magnetic vortex. He uses his massive cannon, but there is no major damage to be had against the Seatopian guardian. Due to Agamemnon’s metallic body, the cymek is pulled toward Megalon. Once the cymek is upon the enormous Megalon, Megalon unleashes a pulse of magnetic energy and sends Agamemnon flying across the field, the titan’s internal systems and mind in near shambles. Omega Supreme, with his incredible strength (able to shatter a mountainside with a single blow and lift 300.000 tons with his clawed arm) finishes the cymek with a combination of both his strength and plasma blaster which easily pulverizes the titan’s casing.
A flying corvette hits Omega from behind. Omega, in robot mode, turns around to see the vehicle transform into its cybertronian form.
Tracks: Omega. . .
Omega: Tracks. . . Unfortunately, all those hours of washing and waxing your armor will only be a waste of time.
Tracks: You are only jealous that I not only look good, but am more than equipped to defeat you in battle.
Omega: We shall see, you self-absorbed rust-bucket!
The two autobots clash in a furious battle. Both autobots use all of their strength and skill against one another. Yet, Omega is clearly more durable to the pounding that they have placed on one another since Omega’s armored hide is extremely resistant to punishment. Tracks is not so lucky and looks down at himself in near disgust as he is beaten up: his body is scratched and turf is hanging from his body. Tracks wants to leave the battle and transforms into his car mode. Just as he begins to peel away, Idaho and Ventress jump into the car. Idaho and Ventress quickly slash the interior and internal components of Tracks. Tracks manages to push the two sword wielders out of his interior, but it is too late. As Tracks transforms into his robot form, he notices that he is severely damaged from the punishment suffered not only from Omega, but from Idaho and Ventress also. He looks up in the air and sees Salaak. Salaak uses his ring to make a giant trash compactor, which has now encased Tracks. The walls come crushing down from all sides. Tracks’ essence comes to an end.
Salaak walks away when he is met by David Bowman.
Bowman: It seems as if I am not the only child from the stars.
Before Salaak can respond, Bowman’s energy-like form emits a huge amount of radiation and power (which he absorbed from a nuclear weapon before the battle) and focuses the destructive energy on Salaak. The Slyggian dies and is wiped from existence. Bowman looks upon the other combatants on the field. Maxima joins him and looks at the other team.
Bowman: My other star child brethren. . . Let us finish this.
The two slowly walk toward the remaining members of the Brotherhood. Ventress, Megalon, Omega, Idaho and Wonder Man stand in anticipation of the fight that follows. Ventress, Idaho and Wonder Man battle Maxima, while Omega and Megalon battle the Star Child. Wonder Man flies to Maxima and immediately uses his super strength and speed to strike her. Maxima uses her own strength and force field generation to stop a brunt of the blows. While she is focusing on Wonder Man though, Idaho comes from behind and attempts to stab her. Maxima turns around and breaks the sword in one hand. She is just about to use mind control on the sword master to fight his own teammates when Ventress force leaps from behind and uses both of her lightsabers to strike at Maxima. Wounded, Maxima attempts to use her optical force beams on Ventress, but is unable to reach her since Ventress either deflects the beams with her lightsabers, or force pushes them away. Although the Almerac Queen has superstrength, she cannot stop the damage that the light sabers eventually do. She crumbles dead to the floor.
Bowman realizes that he is the last member of his team. He becomes a being of pure energy and is about to use this to his advantage. Omega transforms into his rocket base with rocket and tank and repeatedly fires his weapons at Bowman. Bowman’s being becomes brighter, having absorbed the energy of Omega’s weapons. Megalon quickly acts and uses his prehensile drill-like appendages to capture Bowman and then tunnel into the earth. Megalon, with Bowman in hand, repeatedly emits a yellow energy beam from his horn-like appendage, launches spherical, red napalm bombs from his mouth and unleashes his magnetic energy pulses at Bowman instantaneously. The amounts of energy in different forms disrupt Bowman’s essence. The Star Child is not able to absorb or diverge such molecularly diverse energy forms at the same time and Bowman’s form disrupts, taking both himself and Megalon to their deaths.
I watch the Brotherhood stand over the hole caused by the two combatants. . .
Idaho: Megalon sacrificed itself for the team.
Omega: A sacrifice that will be remembered and honored in the next battle. . .
As I, Bryatu, Watcher of this match look upon the field, I find Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos defeated. Qui Gonn Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, E’owyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima and David Bowman: The Starchild: no survivors. Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man survive for The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The Brotherhood has lost Salaak, Link, Megalon and Wicket W. Warwick. Nonetheless, I declare THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS VICTORIOUS!!!

George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

George Washington's Slaves are Yoda, Optimus Prime, Sauron, Thor, Martian Manhunter, Collossus, & George Washington.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Tripticon, Gurney Halleck, The Witch King, Supergirl, Kane of Runefast, Achilles, Charleton Heston, & Snoopy.

As the battle begins George Washington and his slaves are no where to be found. The Horsemen begin gathering in the corner of the field when Supergirl says "all of you stay here. They are obviousely hiding in the locker rooms somewhere. Since I am the fastest member of the squad, I will search them out and then fly back so we can formulate an attack. Less than a minute later Supergirl flies back to her teammates and yells "everybody but Tripticon, follow me; the cowards are fleeing the stadium and are out on the streets". The Horsemen, sans Tripticon because he can't fit through the doors rush out into the streets behind Supergirl to find that the streets are completely clear. Heston turns to Supergirl and yells "What the hell are you talking about, they aren't out here". Just then Supergirl's body begins to shift and it is revealed that she is not a he and that Supergirl was actually the shape-shifted Martian Manhunter in disguise. The rest of the slaves then jump off of the top of the Ford Field roof while Yoda and Martian Manhunter use their telekinetic and force powers to lower them safely down to the road. The two generals (George and Yoda) thought that if they could seperate Supergirl and Tripticon from the rest of the team than they could take them down, and so far it seems to be working. Just as planned Thor and Martian Manhunter both fly back into the stadium to double team Tripticon; but Achilles moves quickly to begin fighting with the much larger Collossus. Kane of Runefast and The Witch King stand together to begin their fight when The Witch King quickly shrivels into a weak, dead old man lying on the ground. Sauron simply reabsorbed the powers of the mighty Witch King which he gave him in the first place. Kane once again waves the sword of darkness in an attempt to Desoul The Evil One but Sauron the Deciever has no soul to take. Kane and Sauron then clash with the deafening sounds of armor against armor as Kane the promoted swordsmen weilds The Sword of Darkness and his companion Broadsword while trying to get through the defenses of Sauron's huge swinging mace. George Washington takes aim with his muzzle loaded pistol and blasts Snoopy's snout clean off, he then takes cover as Snoopy's bud Heston blasts some Full-automatic revenge his way. Achilles is moving way to fast for the mutant Collossus but he simply does not have the means to do any real damage to the big Russian. Achilles is landing blows at a ratio of about 15 to 1 but every little hit that Collossus does get in, sends the Greek flying. Optimus Prime sees that his head coach is in trouble so he pulls out his laser rifle and bullseyes Chuck Heston right in his manly chest scorching his chest hairs and reminding the world of what it was like when male Hollywood sex symbols looked like men and not little boys. Gurney Halleck activates his personal Holtzman shield and rushes over to help Achilles. Halleck jumps onto Collossus bumping him back and then deactivates his shield and pulls out his lasgun (so as not to create an atomic explosion between the two weapons). He blasts Collossus in the back pushing him a few feet but still not knocking the organic metal bohemoth to the ground. Yoda rushes in to help his teammate and removes Gurney Halleck's loyal Atreidian head before he can reactivate his shield. Achilles drops his sword and shield on the ground and then spins around pulling a small dagger from his waist. He then dodges a swing from the heavy arm of Collossus and sticks the dagger directly into the small hole that was made by the laser of Halleck, puncturing his internal organs and delivering a fatal blow to the huge mutant. Back inside the stadium Thor and Martian Manhunter have no problem evading the attacks of Tripticon but they are having some trouble damaging the powerful metal skin of the gigantic Decepticon. Supergirl has successfully ripped apart the insides of old man Ford's prize building when she realizes that something fishy must be going on. She breaks through the brick walls onto the outside to see that not only have the Horsemen been fighting without her and are seperated from Tripticon as well but that much of her team has already been decimated. Back inside Thor flies up behind Tripticon and swings his hammer Mjonir into the back of Tripticon's massive dome. The two non-earthlings speak mentally to each other and both land next to Tripticon's right foot. Using their combined super strength John Jonzz and the son of Odin lift up the dizzied Decepticon's leg and flip him onto his back, causing quite a tremor and proving that the bigger they are the harder they fall. They waste no time jumping onto his neck and ripping apart their much larger opponent. Yoda and Optimus Prime waste no time moving towards the enraged Supergirl. Supergirl targets Prime with a blast of heat vision but Yoda force leaps onto the shoulder of his Autobot homey and blocks it with his lightsaber. After Kane quickly evades several of Sauron's swings (which he is so famous for doing). Sauron delivers a stunning attack inflicting 65 hit points worth of damage on Darksol's favorite soldier. Kane of Runefast has been defeated. Optimus Prime then hits Supergirl with a blast from his laser rifle but she quickly recovers and flies right at the Autobot leader. She delivers two quick blows to his stomach and knee and then flies up behind him landing on his shoulders close to where Master Yoda was perched only moments ago. With her powerful (yet attractive) legs planted she grabs Optimus' head and yanks it clean off. She rockets the head at Yoda but the little Jedi rolls out of the way. Achilles feels that he has no need to fear larger oppponents as he moves against Sauron. Supergirl grabs a road sign out of the ground and begins swinging it at Yoda but the quick master jumps and evades every swing, until he uses his lightsaber to cut her makeshift weapon in half. She uses her powerful breath to blow Yoda over but Yoda pops back up and returns the favor with a force push. He then jumps at the taken off guard Kryptonian and leaps at her. He has to use all of the force power he can muster to cut through the strong skin of Supergirl's neck but in the end he is successful in finishing her off. Achilles is holding his own against Sauron but the tides are quickly turned as Thor and Martian Manhunter land behind the Greek prince ready to help out their evil friend. Achilles, despite being triple teamed still has an uncanny ability to block attacks but once a direct hit from Sauron's mace breaks his shield and a similar hit from Mjonir breaks his sword he is opened up to a flurry of punches from Martian Manhunter and a final thrust from a green lightsaber from the newest member of this Motor City beat down Yoda. President Washington remembering back to the time when Thomas Jefferson made him read The Illiad then slices off the ankle of the mighty Achilles... just in case.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!

October Optional Tournament

Round 2

Setting: Ford Field

Prize: A fully armored and equipped Humvee

George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

Press Release: R.I.P. Goblin #1

Goblin #1 was a valiant fighter who never gave up. I was never fortunate enough to actually meet the Goblin in person, but I heard from my team that he, or it fought right to the bitter end. Though he was kind of gross looking and I would have never been caught dead wearing anything he owned, he or it will still be dearly missed. I mean, not by me, because I didn't know him, not that I'm saying I'm a terrible person or anything, I'm just saying it's not like we were BBF's or anything. I mean, I don't even think it had a cell phone so how could we have ever even texted each other in the first place. So on behalf of Barack Obama and Dr. Doom and...Oh Sweet Nibblets, how many people are in a power position on this team. Well, anyways the 'Commandos' would just like to pass along our condolences to 'Alice's Wonder Team' and to anyone else who happened to have known him or her. You know I don't actually no what it was.

Hannah Montana
Assistant Coach for 'Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos'

Hannah Montana and Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos vs Alice's Wonder Team

Hannah Montana and Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos are Qui Gon Jinn, Tracks, Agamemnon, Éowyn, Ms. Marvel, Maxima, Metroid #1, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Saladin, and Mrs. Doubtfire.

Alice’s Wonder Team is Darth Deez, Sharkticon #11, Goblin #1, Ram Man, Domino, Jesse Quick, Princess Toadstool, Extinction Alice, Desmond Howard, and Treasure Troll #3.

Alice’s Wonder Team arrives at Ford Field only to find only one member of the Commandos waiting to meet them in battle. Qui Gon Jinn is patiently kneeling down at the 50 yard line, meditating. They begin to converge on the motionless Jedi Master. Just then, a 1969 Corvette flies in onto the field, (Yes, I said FLIES) and out jumps Éowyn, Saladin, and Mrs. Doubtfire. The Vette then reveals that it is actually Tracks, and transforms into his robot form. Ram Man immediately springs into action and slams into Tracks, sending him crashing to the ground. Jesse Quick mean while zips around the field, tearing trenches into the FieldTurf. Domino flips Desmond Howard a grenade as he takes off down the field. He races by Metroid #1 and drops the grenade underneath the floating blob. It grenade blows up killing Metroid #1. Desmond runs down field with that same big toothy white grin he would always be sporting after scoring a touchdown. His smile is quickly wiped away when Maxima flies in and gives the former Heisman Trophy winner the worse facemask you will ever see. She drops the football helmet, which happens to still have Desmond Howard’s head still inside it, as she heads towards her next opponent. Ram Man smashes into Tracks time and time again, causing great damage, but the Autobot is resistant. “My paint job, my fender. Ok now little man, you are going to pay,” exclaims Tracks. He blasts Ram Man with a shot from his Blinding Black Light Beam Gun, which well… blinds him. He then fires two heat-seeking incendiary missiles right into Ram Man, blowing him to pieces. Tracks, now devastated by the poor shape he is in. He transforms into his Corvette mode, extends his wings from under his rear fenders and takes off at sub-sonic speeds, retreating from battle, in fear of further damage. Sharkticon #11 is hungry for some carnage, so it begins to rip apart the seats in Section 123. Meanwhile, Jesse Quick is still racing all over Ford Field at high speeds, and she uses her super strength to pick up Saladin and launch him into the giant neon Pepsi sign, killing the Sultan. She then takes aim for Qui Gon, who is still quietly meditating on the 50 yard line. She starts circling him, creating a tornado of debris. Qui Gon then makes one quick move and slices the young speedster in two with his lightsaber. The Jedi Master then resumes his mediation. Mrs. Doubtfire is cautiously roaming the field. But unfortunately for her, the All-Star ballot nominee, Goblin #1, is hungry for some fresh meat. Still seething from the All-Star snub, Goblin #1 dives at Euphegenia Doubtfire and absolutely guts her/him. Goblin #1 then starts to devour the entrails of Daniel Hillard. Ms. Marvel is flying high above the battle and sees Sharkticon #11 stalking Éowyn, who is busy fending off shots from Domino. The Sharkticon see Ms. Marvel flying down, and it leaps right at her. Ms. Marvel doesn’t bother to even stop her path and blows right through the Transformer. Éowyn is shot in her leg by Domino, and screams in pain. This scream leads Qui Gon to intervene. Domino dodges several of Éowyn’s swipes with her sword, and then does a backflip over Qui Gon, who was approaching her. “What can I say? I’m just lucky,” quips Domino. “Luck has nothing to do with it, girl,” replies Qui Gon as he does the same backflip and puts his lightsaber right through Domino’s chest. Over in the concourse, Extinction Alice is battling with Maxima. Alice attempts to telepathically attack Maxima, but she finds out that she too has mind powers. She then attacks Maxima at full force, but each blow is deflected by a force field that Maxima has created. Extinction Alice is the knocked off her feet by a blast by Ms. Marvel who has formed a tight bond with Maxima over the past year. This assistance allows Maxima to concentrate her psionic powers to boost her strength. She then uppercuts Extinction Alice, hitting her so hard that the surrounding windows shatter. The lifeless body of Alice crumples to the floor. Darth Deez begins to walk out of the player’s tunnel screaming for the Starchild. “Bowmannnnnnnn!!! Show yourself! Your blood will stain this field. I will spike your head in this end zone. Come meet your demise!” Ms. Marvel and Maxima both take off to do battle with the Sith Lord, but Qui Gon stops both of them. “No, my children. Let the Starchild handle this,” says the wise Jedi Master. Just then, a flash of light blows through the field, scooping up Darth Deez, and blasts through the roof of the stadium. All that is heard next is… “Uuuhh!” There is also two things seen falling from the hole that was just made in the roof. A lightsaber and a fat NUB cigar. Dave Bowman returns to the football field and focuses on the last two remaining opponents, Goblin #1 and Princess Toadstool. Peach jumps in the air and floats above the still injured Éowyn, as well as Qui Gon who has returned to meditating. She reaches the upper level seats, but just then, another hole is blasted through the roof. This time it is Agamemnon. The Titan then takes aim with his massive cannon and fires at the entire section that Peach is standing in. It is completely destroyed, with absolutely no trace of the Princess. Goblin #1 charges in one last crazed effort at Dave Bowman, who simply just erases the Goblin from existence. The Commandos believe they have won, but Qui Gon senses that there is still one member remaining. Maxima then sees a tiny tuft of purple hair scurrying across the field. Treasure Troll #3 tries to make a run for it, but is vaporized by Maxima’s optical force beams.

HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCES!

TEAM vs George Washington's Slaves

My Watcher bretheren Joshatu and Ryatu have extended the honor to myself, Bryatu, of “watching” this Optional Tournament match. I am told that I am not to interfere, but simply observe what follows. . . . What I view are two opponents evenly matched and ready for battle. The teams: George Washington's Slaves and TEAM.

George Washington's Slaves are Yoda, Optimus Prime, Sauron, Beowolf, Thor, Martian Manhunter, Yoshi, Colossus, George Washington and Spongebob Squarepants.

TEAM is Adi Gallia, Shockwave, The Evil Paul Atreides Ghola (Paulo), He-Man, Adam Warlock, Superman, Gannon, Neo, Jackie Chan, and Dozer #7.

Before the match, I shall enter the locker room of George Washington’s Slaves. . .

Yoda: Crush them we shall. Decimate TEAM we must if we are to continue onward to the next round. The strength of Optimus, Sauron, Thor and Manhunter is enough to follow through.

George Washington: I have faced mighty forces in the past, but the British troops do not compare with Neo, Warlock, He-Man and Superman. We must not overextend our confidence; it will be our downfall.

Spongebob Squarepants: What Mr. George said!

To the locker room of TEAM we shall now go. . .

Superman: They are formidable, but if we work as a team, TEAM shall be victorious.

He-Man: By the “Power of Greyskull” shall I defend the honor of my teammates!

Jackie Chan: 让我们毁坏他们。[Let us destroy them].
Neo: I agree.

On to the battlefield. . .

The teams stand across the expanse, waiting for the other to make the first move. On the line of George Washington’s Slaves stands Spongebob Squarepants suddenly profusely sweating.

Spongebob: It’s a beautiful day for battle! [Hands moving to throat]. I don’t know what’s going on with me! [Begins to cough]. I’m drying out and . . . [Wobbles to the ground]. . . Holy Kabloey!!! [On the ground beginning to sizzle].

Optimus Prime uses his optical sensors to scan the line of TEAM and notices Superman “squinting” in Spongebob’s general direction. He instantly computes the situation and notice that Superman is using his heat vision to dry Spongebob out.

Optimus: SPONGEBOB! BEHIND ME!

Optimus Prime begins to take action and attempts to shelter Spongebob. He computes that he is too late as he notices the small character beginning to catch on fire. Soon the little sea animal is a blaze of flames.

Spongebob: It’s too late for me! [On major fire]. SLAVES!!! AVENGE ME!!!!

Spongebob’s body turns is now a fiery conflagration. Bob explodes. The first casualty of the match before the true battle begins.

Seeing that one of its true enemies enters into the fray Shockwave decides that Optimus is not the only transformer who can take beginning action for its team.

Shockwave, with its’ military operations commander mind, evaluates the situation and through methodical calculations believes that the namesake of the Washington’s team must be eliminated immediately. Washington’s elimination will not only destroy another member of his team, but will also destroy the team’s namesake. Shockwave believes that although Washington may be a true leader who possesses extraordinary skills (since he is but a mortal who leads superhumans and previously, an entire nation), he is only a man, while Shockwave is a superior Decepticon. Shockwave calculates the best means of ending Washington’s life and thus, transforms into a Mazda RX-8. Shockwave revs its engine, spins its tires and at blinding speed, races to meet Washington. Washington sees Shockwave coming and smiles in anticipation of a fight. He lifts the gun off his back, raises his muzzle and fires at one of Shockwave’s tires. Although a normal gun would not immediately affect the tire, Washington’s muzzle loader is filled with not one, but two balls (double-packed) with powder. One of Shockwave’s tires expodes due to the force of the double bullet tearing through the rubber and he begins to swerve uncontrollably. Shockwave computes that even if he is crippled he will have enough time to transform into its robot mode and blast Washington with its laser gun before the general can pack another double load. Washington sees the motor vehicle begin to transform into the Decepticon and awaits his maker. Just as Shockwave begins to transform, Optimus Prime jumps in (having quickly mourned Spongebob) and smashes Shockwave head on with both his laser rifle and modified truck cab body. The force of the blow and laser, both at the same time, sends Shockwave reeling away from the battle, smoking and malfunctioning. It is only a matter of minutes before Shockwave is sent to that great big toaster in the sky.

Washington: Thank you my friend.

Optimus: No sacrifice is too great in the service of freedom. Now hop on my shoulders and ride me like I know you can - - back to safety.

Just as Washington is about to mount Optimus, Yoshi runs up.

Yoshi: YOSHI!!!!

Washington: Okay Yosh, I will ride you instead.

Yoshi: YOSHI!!!

Washington rides back on Yoshi, with Optimus tailing behind as a rear guard. The three meet back on their camp lines where Yoda stands and smiles.

Yoda: Time for me to enter fray, it is. Yoshi! Bareback shall I ride you. Let us go!

Yoda, who is an adept kybuck rider hops upon Yoshi.

Yoda: Onward Yoshi!

The two find their intended target. Jackie Chan is in his crouching tiger position. He smiles that the little green beast on a dorky looking lizard is coming to attempt and attack his martial arts’ superiority. Instead of greeting his new enemies with the broken Engrish he always attempts to spout, he speaks his native Mandarin tongue.

Chan: 问候我的朋友，现在是时间杀害你。[Greetings my friends, it is now time to kill you!]

Yoda: Better your native tongue you speak than the unintelligible garble you try often.
Nonetheless die you shall!

Yoshi charges and is upon Chan in mere seconds. As Yoshi begins to attempt and utilize his tongue, Chan, in blinding action, punches Yoshi twenty five times in the beast’s gut with his Drunken Master skills. The power instantly kills Yoshi, a smile still on its face as its body falls to the ground. As the grinning Yoshi collapses, Yoda does a triple lindy somersault and ignites his lightsaber. Chan has no time to react and Yoda laps off Chan’s head.

Now being an omnipotent Watcher, I am familiar with the ramifications of slicing one’s head off with the cauterizing lightsaber blade. The oxygen, still trapped in Chan’s skull prevents him from dying instantly. Chan sees his body crumpled over, a mass of deadweight and I overhear his words as he looks up at his defiler.

Chan: 你赢取我们的争斗小的绿色野兽。 但是战争不结束。 去队! [You win our battle little green beast. But the war is not yet over. Go Team!]

Yodi: True the war is not over. But it will be. . . it will be. . .

As Yoda walks from the carnage before him (his comrade Yoshi fallen, looking like a Hoth tauntaun and the Chan looking like a headless international martial arts action-comedy hero) he senses in the force another. He turns around and sees Adi Gallia.

Adi: Master Yoda, it will be an honor defeating you in battle today.

Yoda: Of that you cannot be sure young one. Your confidence smells of the tainted dark side.

Adi: You know as well as I that confidence is not only of the dark side. Let me prove it. [Adi ignites her saber].

The two Jedi meet in a blazing skill of crashing light swords, flashes and sparks. Nonetheless, although Adi is an adept utilizer of her lightsaber, she is still no match for Yoda. Yoda spins, twirls, wiggles, jaunts and somersaults around Adi who soon becomes disoriented from the ancient master’s actions. Yoda takes advantage of this fact and force pushes her fifty feet in the air and down to the ground. Adi is knocked unconscious. Yoda, knowing that he has defeated the master, yet not killed her allows him to give a whimsical laugh; a laugh that is heard by TEAM.


I look upon TEAM. . .

He-Man [Looks behind him to his comrade]: Paulo, let us make this our battle now!

[Paulo lying on the ground unresponsive].

He-Man [kneels down to Paulo]: Paulo! What is wrong with you!

Paulo in a near catatonic, deathly state, simply gurgles blood in response.

He-Man: Ganon. Neo. What is wrong with Paulo?

Ganon uses the Triforce of Power to scan Paulo.

Ganon: The fool is useless to us now! He is all but dead now; overdosed on ultraspice!

He-Man: Use your black magic to bring him from the dead!

Ganon: I will not waste my powers on him! He is dead to the team, but a mere ghola from a Caladan relic. [Paulo dies and Ganon shakes his head in disgust]. Come my scantily clad man-toy and slick, leather clad beauty. Let us enter battle!

Together the three men charge onto the battlefield. Dozer #7 feeling left out of the fracas scampers alongside the three. They are met by Colossus and Beowulf (the Cymek, not the man from folklore who killed Grendel).

As the six circle each other on the battleground they stop to see Dozer # 7 jump up and down and then begin to sing a tune.

Dozer: We come from different places,
We come from different times;
But we all come together,
Let’s sing a little rhyme!

Everybody sing and dance,
Everybody laugh and prance. . . [Dozer screams and explodes].

Ganon: I know that he is. . . I mean was, my teammate, but I could only stand so much of that Fraggle Rock garbage. Let’s do what we came here today for – win! Colossus and Beowulf, you may now die!

The fight begins with the five combatants. Ganon gathers his black magic, which then culminates in a brackish cloud of darkness. He hurls the same at Colossus and Beowulf. Their cybernetic and metallic bodies avoid the disease within the mist. Colossus then takes action and attempts to strike Neo. Neo, with his Matrix-speed ability, slows the punch down, does a nice swan lift in the air and kicks Colossus repeatedly in the chest. Colossus is whipped around and around, but suffers little damage due to his armored body. Neo still has more strength to fight. He waves Colossus over for another round.

Colossus: Da. But not with me comrade.

Neo: Who then?

Neo begins to look behind him when he suddenly feels a sharp pain through his chest. He looks down and notices his own blood glistening on the sword which has just ripped through one of his lungs and pierced his heart. He is thrown off the sword by Sauron. Sauron simply nods his head in an acknowledgement to his teammate and walks toward Ganon.

Meanwhile, Beowulf is in mortal combat with He-Man.

He-Man: You remind me of one of Skeletor’s foul beasts! I shall use my immense strength to crush your body so you will be left but a brain attached to a broken machine.

He-Man is evenly matched with Beowulf. The two fight for several minutes until He-Man manages to wrestle the cyborg to the ground and is in control of the man-machine. He-Man then lifts the cyborg over his shoulders and throws it to the ground. He begins to do this repeatedly until the body becomes a shambling mound of wire and cybernetics.

Ganon: He-Man, this is one fight I do not wish to partake at this time. Come, my friend.

With these words, Ganon attempts to teleport himself and He-Man away from the battle with Sauron and Colossus, but is unsuccessful. Sauron slowly moves toward the wizard, a being of immense magic himself. Although no one can see within the realm of Sauron’s helmet, one can only imagine the smile that is upon his face as he rushes toward both He-Man and Ganon with raised sword. Ganon readily transports himself away, successful this time. He-Man is not as lucky. He-Man’s rippling muscles are sweatily displayed as he fights with Sauron. Nonetheless, Sauron’s sword skills, along with his added magical abilities, prove too much for He-Man. Sauron’s sword pierces He-Man’s body. Like so many of the other fighters today, impalement is the ultimate doom meted out to one’s foe.

Ganon smiles as he teleports back to the realm of battle. Ganon will live another day, or so he thinks until he sees the front grill of Optimus plow into him. Ganon’s blood splatters across the windshield and his body is run over (repeatedly) by Optimus.

Slave’s Line. . .

Manhunter: Are you ready Thor?

Thor: I have drunk my ale heartily and am ready for battle!

Manhunter: How much ale?

Thor: I may be over the mortal limit of consumption, but for a Norse god I am strengthened.

Manhunter: Let’s hunt my friend.

Both Thor and Manhunter take to the air.

Team’s Line. . .

Warlock: I see my nemesis Thor above. He has never forgiven me for taking the Asgardian goddess Sif to be my mate. I shall make him rue the day he caused me to lose her love by forcing me to create a cocoon around myself.

Superman: As you see your nemesis, I see one who has fought by my side with the League. But as I stand with TEAM, I swear to spread J’onn’s ashes across his homeworld of Mars.

Both Superman and Warlock take to the air to meet their counterparts in battle.

The sky battle is furious. Superman hits Manhunter head on with a devastating punch. Manhunter is thrown across the sky in a daze. His regeneration ability kicks into overdrive as he attempts to counter the effects of Superman’s blow. Just as J’onn is coming out of his haze, Superman attempts to use his heat vision on Manhunter. Manhunter is cognizant enough that he escapes the heat stream by using his invisibility power. He then uses his speed to catch Superman by his foot. Manhunter’s superhuman strength throws Superman across the sky, toward the sun. The Sun augments Superman’s strength. Superman flies faster than a speeding bullet, in fact, at supersonic speed. Although Manhunter is a powerful adversary, he is no match for Superman’s next blow. His fist manages to crush Manhunter’s sternum. Manhunter then falls to the ground in a crumpled heap. His regeneration powers begin to enhance his body, but it shall take a good amount of time for him to heal from the injuries. Superman stands over the body of Manhunter.

Superman: I am sorry to defeat you, my friend, but. . .

Superman feels a blast from behind as Optimus Prime uses his laser to throw Superman across the grounds. Superman begins to correct his flight when he feels a force through his side. He looks down and sees both Sauron’s magical blade and Yoda’s lightsaber impaling him.

Superman: How?

Yoda: Force and magical powers within the realm of defeat, Superman. [As Superman falls to his knees in pain, Yoda force pushes him down so that he is face to face with Superman]. Goodbye, Son of Krypton. [Yoda throws Superman across the sky, mortally wounded, with death imminent].

Thor and Warlock are locked in a death match in the sky.

Warlock: You were just jealous that Sif chose me over one of your other Norse bretheren. Looking at your long golden locks often worn by women, I see she didn’t have much to choose from anyway.

Thor: For that insult I shall bring Odin’s wrath upon thee.

The individual also known as “Him” and the God of Thunder are in a pitched battle. Thor uses his hammer against Warlock and smashes him across the sky. Thor then uses his hammer to gather the heat and lightning of the atmosphere and channel the forces of nature to create a force blast. Warlock secretly allows Thor to do this and then uses his manipulation of energy to steal the force and blow it back at Thor. Thor is hurtled across the sky, his costume in tatters.

Warlock smiles, but the smile does not last long as he sees Thor hurtling toward him, his hammer guiding him.

Thor: I may have a girl’s golden locks my astral friend, but I hit like a Norse god!

Thor uses the velocity of the hammer and twists around so that the hammer has the additional centripetal force. The hammer meets Warlock in his face. Warlock, after the hammer, no longer has a face. His body falls to the ground.


As I, Bryatu, Watcher of this match look around, I find TEAM defeated. Adi Gallia, Neo, Jackie Chan, Dozer # 7, Shockwave, Superman, Paulo, Ganon and He-Man, Warlock: no survivors. Thus, I declare George Washinton’s Slaves VICTORIOUS!

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Chuck Daly and The New Pistons

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Asajj Ventress, Omega Supreme, Tom Bombadil, Duncan Idaho, Wonder Man, Salaak, Link, Megalon, David Goverde, and Wicket.

Chuck Daly and the New Pistons are Darth Rage, Pipes, Faramir, Piter De Vries, Rhino, Man-Bat, Wario, Dengar, Bill Laimbeer, and Ski Bum.

Chuck Daly’s team arrives at Ford Field, ready to face the Brotherhood of Evil Midgets in this opening round of the First Annual FFL Optional Tournament. This makeshift team of misfits was eager to show everyone that it was a mistake to let them rot on the waiver wire. Unfortunately, this feeling was quickly squashed, literally. Both Pipes and Wario were stepped on by Omega Supreme, who had destroyed part of the roof and the most of the Hudson’s warehouse side of the football stadium, just to fit inside. More of the New Pistons hopes were shattered when their Sith Lord, Darth Rage, tangled with Salaak and Duncan Idaho. Darth Rage raced toward Duncan Idaho at first; wildly swinging his lightsaber, ignoring the Green Lantern flying above him. (Gee I wonder why he was named Darth “Rage”) He did manage to cut Duncan’s crysknife in half, but just when he was about to deliver a kill blow to the Sword Master of the Ginaz, Salaak, blocks the lightsaber with a wall of green energy from his ring. The Green Lantern then swoops down into action and hits Darth Rage with a flurry of punches from his four arms. He is able to knock Rage’s lightsaber out of his hand and knocks him to the floor. The Sith Lord then retaliates with a blast of Sith Lightning, which Salaak was unable to deflect. Then, in quick fashion, Duncan Idaho scooped up the lightsaber and ran Darth Rage through with his own weapon. Meanwhile over in the east end zone, Piter De Vries and Rhino are double teaming Asajj Ventress. The odds quickly even out when Asajj cuts the goal post down and it crushes De Vries. Rhino charges at the Dark Jedi, but she easily jumps out of the way and allows Rhino to slam into a wall. He pulls his horn out of the wall and charges her again, only this time he is cut down by her lightsaber. Tom Bombadil for what ever reason was walking around in the Detroit Lions locker room. This decision proved to be fatal, as he was jumped from behind and strangled to death with a jersey by Ski Bum. Back out on the field, Link and Faramir are engaged in a fierce sword fight on the 50 yard line. The duel goes back and forth several times. Faramir wounds Link’s right leg, dropping him to his knees. But Link manages to fight back, blocking Faramir’s attack with the Hylian Shield and then firing three Silver Arrow into Faramir’s chest, killing the second son of Denethor II. Link takes a moment before returning to battle to drink a bottle of Blue Potion he carried with him. The potion heals his leg wound completely. High above the battle, Man-Bat attempts to tangle with Wonder Man. Man-Bat flies frantically around the air, evading Wonder Man’s attacks. Simon finally lands a punch on Dr. Langstrom and sends him crashing into the stadium’s massive video screen. A high pitched wail could be heard from the exploding screen, as Man-Bat was being electrocuted. The team of Asajj Ventress, Link and Duncan Idaho begin to search the stadium grounds for their teammate, Tom Bombadil. The bounty hunter, Dengar, slowly stalks Dave Goverde, who for some reason was in full Los Angeles Kings goalie gear, even though he hasn’t played for that team since 1994. Dengar takes aim at the back of “Go-Go’s” helmet with his Valken-38 Blaster Rifle and fires a shot. But in a blink of an eye, Goverde spins around and blocks the shot with his stick. Dengar continues firing shots at the goalie, but with no avail. Goverde is standing on his head in this battle, as if his life depended on it (which it does). Bill Laimbeer then runs (well slightly jogs would be much more accurate) to help Dengar out. He whips a basketball right at the goalie’s helmet. This knocks Dave down, and Dengar blasts him with several blaster shots, killing him. Wicket, who had been hiding behind some seats, jumps out and throws his spear right into the back of Bill Laimbeer. Wicket then scurries outside before Dengar could attack. Dengar follows the Ewok outside where he is met by a napalm bomb from the awaiting Megalon. Asajj Ventress and the others find the body of their teammate Tom Bombadil lying on the floor of the Lion’s locker room. Link begins to sing a song for Tom, but is cut short by the final member of the New Pistons. Ski Bum knocks Link to the ground and begins to beat him with a football helmet. Asajj Ventress force pushes the little bear off of Link, sending him flying into the laundry basket. The crazy furry little thing leaps out and races at the Dark Jedi. She uses the Force to grab him and choke the very life out of the small bear, thus ending the New Pistons’ existence as a team.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE!

More Team Logos

Here are the rest!