S6W4 - The Shemalabama's Shitkickers vs The Transfoamers

The Shemalabama’s Shitkickers are: Nightwing (Lor Zod), Flamebird (Thar Ak-Ur), Red Lantern Hal Jordan, Vampire Kilowog, Razor, Aya, Blackfire, Duke/Transformer Mech Unit, Snake Eyes/Transformer Mech Unit, Scarlett/Transformer Mech Unit, Roadblock/Transformer Mech Unit, Albert (Wolverine Cyborg), Elsie-Dee, Revan, Bishop

“Master Revan, we have been waiting here on the field of battle for six nights.  We already missed the Seder and I cannot miss the last night of Passover!” exclaims Bishop.  “I think it is clearly evident that The Transfoamers are not going to show.”

“That may be true,” replies the ancient Jedi, “But we must wait here until they decide to submit a team or until the watcher grows tired of waiting and then is forced to write a crappy story about us sitting around eating unleavened bread for the last 7 days.”

It is at this time that an incoming communication begins to ring on Roadblock’s dash.  It is extremely uncommon for a team to have any interaction with the watchers or with ownership.  They get teleported, they kill, they die, repeat ten times, then they go to the graveyard.  This is the life of a FFL solider.  So when the higher powers call down to them (on the field of battle no less) everyone is silent and gathers around the screen.

“Greetings Shitkickers!  It is I, Fizzatu, your watcher for this week’s battle”

“Some battle we got here.” says an annoyed Bishop.

“Yeah!  What’s the deal? “ RL Hal Jordan adds.

“I have been in communication with The Commish, he has attempted to reach the ‘Foamers multiple times but they failed to send in a team or respond to his requests,” says the best looking watcher in the league.  “I'm getting bored so I am going to upload the coordinates of their home base into Roadblock’s SatNav.  Go there, kill whoever you want, and I’ll teleport you back out before they know what hit ‘em.  Sound good?”

After a brief pause Revan says with a smile, “Sounds Great…”

 

The Shitkickers arrive at home complex for The Transfoamers and are surprised at the sheer size.  Given the fact that they need to store hundreds of Transformers between matches, it actually shouldn’t be that surprising.  There are twelve large garages that most certainly house the large robots.  Three other buildings, also impressive in size, are clearly configured to house the more human sized members of the squad.  As they approach the buildings, Bishop stops the crew and directs their attention to the doorways above the first building.  Then they notice the second building.  Each one of the fifteen buildings has a large bloody, oily smear above their main entrances.  Lying dead upon the ground is the 15 Beast Wars Transformers that have clearly been sacrificed.

Bishop is clearly moved by this gesture.  “We have to go.” He says.  “The blood of these Paschal Lambs has already been spilled.”  He turns to face his team and they see how solemn and serious he is.

Revan nods and hits a button on Roadblock’s dash.  “Fizzatu, “ he says, “we’re all set here.”

As they are being teleported out, Nightwing turns to Flamebird and quietly asks “What’s a Paschal Lamb?”

“I have no idea,” replies Flamebird, “I’m Catholic.”