George Washington's Slaves Vs. REAL Man's Rabble Rousers

George Washington’s Slaves are Human Smoke (w/ a Halberd), Moltenadon, Ancient Ginaz Swordmaster #8, and Maggie Simpson.

Real Man’s Rabble Rousers are Vampire Count Dooku, Tombstone, and Hammer Bros. #18.


Chris Artrip, The Z-Man himself, Mr Fizzle in the Hizzle (and that’s an ArtiFACT). Shows up at the house of his old buddy…. No, not Bama we’re talking bout REAL Man.

“Sup Eric, you ready to do some gamin”?? Says Artifact to the REALster.

“SHeeeeeeeeeeit. You know it DOGG” says REAL Man as he pulls up his sagging Skids. “Come on downstairs to the basement Brah”. Finishes the REALster.

“Damn dude, this is a pretty nice crib you got here. Who’s your decorator”?? Asks Artifizzle with the utmost amount of sensitivity allowed a straight man.

“I ain’t sure “C”. My Mom just renovated the place. I woulda aksed but I ain’t heard that s*&t. Naturally, Ima keeping it REAL”.

“Yeah, REAL Dumb”. (**Chris Rock, “Bring the Pain”. 1996.). Says Fizz.

“Anyway Cuz, you down for some Mortal Kombat? I gots the new FFL Expansion Pack, and they brought back the 3 on 3 mode”? Says the REALest guy in town.

Artie replies: “Totes dude. I’m down for some Mortal Kombat. Let’s do this”.

They fire up the game, select the three on three mode, and the battle begins.

I thought about going through the all three battles but this is a 75 point week, and both of these teams are already in the playoffs; so let’s just go with Chris wins the first round and Eric won the second round.

Third Round

FIGHT.

“This game is wicked sweet, ain’t it Playah” says the only REAL dude on the Blog.

“You know it dude. This game is sicker than Clive Revel’s evil tongue”. Says Z.

Ancient Ginaz Swordmaster #8 Vs. Tombstone.

REAL Man button mashes like a champ; but doesn’t know any of Tombstone’s special moves. He takes down the Ginaz Swordmaster’s energy considerably, but “Z”’s controller reacts faster than Bama’s parents and he delivers a dropkick, upper cut combo that sends him off the edge and finishes off Tombstone for good.

Hammer Bros. #18 leaps onto the scene and delivers some hammers quick to the still uppercut stunned Swordmaster to knock him off the Pit and kill him.

Moltenadon appears onto the scene and delivers his Morgul whip attack three separate times to take out Hammer Bros. #18.

Vampire Count Dooku leaps in next and evades most of Moltenadon’s attacks; but still takes some damage. Eric does the perfect amount of button-mashing and figures out Dooku’s Vampire-Sith-Lightning. Eric quickly and successfully moves from the “Nick Houslander button mashing method” to the “Ryan Poteracki use the same special move over and over again method” with ease and finishes off the King of the Ancient Balrogs.

Human Smoke appears next for the final showdown (he has a Halberd in the new expansion). Chris attempts to win it right by using some wicked, combos and special moves; but Eric is basically just leaning on the block button. The REALocitizer then accidentally does the force repel special move which sends Human Smoke back and takes down his energy by 28%. The REAL not-so-slim-GAY-dee then uses Vampire Dooku’s lightsaber assault attack and takes Human Smoke’s energy down to 0%.

FINISH HIM

The screen flashes as Eric mashes some more buttons and causes Maggie Simpson with a Sith Robe on, to fall out of the sky, land on the level, and then fall into the Pit II.

BABALITY !!!!

Ehh, I see they still haven’t gotten rid of that stupid feature…..