Team Sleeping Pussy vs. The Red Army

Season 6: Week 6
The Sleeping Pussies are: Black Lantern Mr. Fantastic, Binary, War Machine, Korvac, Kid Marvelman, Weaponers of Qward #1-5, Shi'ar #1-6, The Starjammers: Corsair, Hepzibah, Raza, Ch'od, and C'ree, Brood Queen, Droid Fighter Ship #13-14, Obi wan's spirit, Xenomorph #1, Skrull #24-26.
The Red Army is: Cybertronian Spaceship,
Freidrich Nietzche w/reality infinity gem, Vampire Orion, John Harrison, Worf, Space Jockey, Duke w/ Green Lantern Ring, Mon-Starr w/ Sky Runner, Jared Nomak w/Yellow Lantern Ring, Movie Blackout w/Atrocitus' Red ring, Judah Ben Hur w/White Lantern Ring, Capt. Steven Hiller in TIE Interceptor, Wizzy the Supercat, Tracks, Darth Binks, Heimdall, Carlisle Cullen w/Star Sapphire Ring, Vindicator, Human Bomb, Raven, The Atom, Luminara Unduli w/Blue Lantern Ring(9 deaths), Madame Blanc w/yellow ring, Miss Tanner w/red ring, Helena Markos w/ red ring, Susperia Coven Members #2-5, Dick Deckard, T-3 Terminator, Equinox, Tarful.
Days ago: Red Army owner Nick Houslander enters his HQ. His hair is slicked back, and his Armani suit is freshly pressed. He removes is designer sunglasses as G.I Joe's Duke rushes to meet him. "Sir, it is an honor to see you here!" Duke says with a salute. Nick is pleased with this display, proper of a subordinate. "At ease, soldier. Is everything proceeding as I have directed?" Duke hesitates for a moment. "Not exactly, sir... First of all..." Duke is cut off by a phone call to Mr. Houslander. "Speak." says the owner impatiently. He listens to the caller and responds."Yes, we're good to go on the Meet and Greet, but tell those bloodsuckers that they only get an hour. I'm a hot commodity, babe." Mr. Houslander hangs up his phone. "It's like these charity organizations want everything for free. Can you believe these assholes?!?" Duke is slightly stunned. "Um, as i was saying sir, I've been reviewing some of our weapon assignments and I've got to say..." Nick cuts him off again. "Yeah, great, right? I tell ya, nobody does it like me." says Nick, beaming. Duke is becoming agitated. "Well that is true, but I see some serious tactical problems. For instance: Star Sapphire Carlisle Cullen. With all due respect, only women wear those rings." Nick laughs. "I know, genius, right? Those fucks won't know what hit em!" "I suppose, sir" Duke trails off as Mr. Houslander answers another call on his phone. "Yes? Oh, wonderful! I'll be by to pick her up soon." The call is ended and Duke begins again. "Back to your philandering ways, sir?" asks Duke. "What? No, that was the trophy store. They say Goldie is buffed up and ready to shine! Just in time for my signings! Awesome!" says Nick. "Goldie?" wonders Duke aloud." "Yeah, Goldie. The Universe Bowl trophy. Get with the times." explains Nick. "Yes sir, sorry sir..." apologizes Duke. "Hey, this has been great and all, but I've got places to be. I'm sure you guys will work out the bugs before the season starts. In the meantime, I'll be doing the publicity circuit warranted for a champion such as I!" exclaims Nick, his Universe Bowl ring sparkling in the sunlight. Duke is clearly distressed. "Sir, it's week 6..." he says. Nick smiles to himself. "Perfect so far, I presume. Wow, I'm even better than I thought! Good job, Duke! You're alright." Mr. Houslander says as he enters his Rolls Royce. A mentally drained Duke hands a clipboard to Nick. "Sir, just sign and approve the roster for this week" Mr. Houslander scans the roster and puts on his sunglasses. "Looks good, kid. I'll sign it when I get back." He throws the clipboard back at Duke and roasts the tires, leaving black smoke everywhere. Duke is still choking when he is approached by Capt. Steven Hiller, of Independence Day fame. "Yo Joe! What up cuz? You ready to shoot the shit out of some aliens? asks Hiller. "I don't think so Steve... I can't legally turn in this roster without a signature, and we both know that he won't be back by the deadline." says Duke with both anger and sadness, as he throws the clipboard to the ground. "Damn! Muthafuka went Hollywood on us!" says Hiller, kicking the clipboard into the air.
A beautiful sunrise bathes the Sleeping Pussies Headquarters in a warm light this morning. They rise and each begin their day. The Weaponers of Qward are gathered around Droid Fighter Ships #13-14, no doubt upgrading them for the coming battle. The Brood Queen and Xenomorph #1 are sparring, their attraction grows with every bout. The Starjammers are hard at work fine tuning their ship. They are aided by Korvac, whose extensive computer knowledge and cosmic powers juice the ship to unbelievable levels. Even Black Lantern Mr. Fantastic lends a hand, although he only has ideas from when he was alive. This day is rare indeed, as the longtime enemies Skrulls and Shi'ar come together and forge some of the most brilliant space tactics the universe has ever known. Even Kid Marvelman isn't being a complete asshole, for once. Binary is seen leaving War Machine's room, as he goes to the coffee maker in the comissary. Obi Wan's Spirit passes War Machine as he heads to his dwelling place. "The Force is strong with us this day!" proclaims the Jedi force ghost. "Ugh, coffee..." is all War Machine can muster.He takes a sip and turns on the internet in his helmet. There is an E-mail in his inbox from Team SP's owner. It reads: "We won on a technicality. Everybody go back to bed. -Fred." War Machine grabs another cup of coffee and heads to Binary's quarters. "We won... Avengers assemble?" asks Rhodey as he begins taking off his armor. Binary nods with a smile as the door closes.