Prologue: Real Man's Rabblerouser Vs. The Empire

"Hey Eric, wake up. C'mon man, let's get this thing rolling." I say. "Besides, it kind of smells in here..." We are in the basement of Real Man's Mom's house, where Eric has taken a mid afternoon nap. This is a staple in his life, as he tends to get a little cranky at 2:30 daily. A drooling Real Man slowly wakes. He notices my presence, and pretends to remain asleep. "Dude, I know you're up. Quit faking." I say. Knowing that the jig is up, Real Man goes for the nuclear option. "Moooom!!! NFG Mike's here!!! The beating I took in week 5 only strengthened his bloodlust!!!" yells Real Man. "That's good Eric. Play nice with your new friend." replies Real Man's Mom. I am confused, and look around for NFG Mike. Suddenly, it hits me. "Eric, I'm not NFG, I'm NuFaGtu. But if you see NFG, tell him that I haven't forgotten about the money he owes me." I see the gears turning slowly in Real Man's head. "I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT WATCHER BULLSHIT!!! YOU'RE GOING TO SCREW ME OVER! SO SAYS REAL MAN!!!" "Sigh, Eric, you've got me all wrong. Everybody gets a fair shake in my book. Let the rosters speak for themselves. But I gotta tell you, you might end up screwing yourself if you don't straighten up. I thought that I would do the diplomatic thing and give you a proper FFL welcome! No tricks. Watcher's honor." I explain. Real Man isn't buying it. "I'm not even a character in your match! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!"" whines Real Man. NuFaGtu grins. "That's true, you're not the "Real Man" character, but you are the Rabblerousers' owner. That means I can do what I want, short of killing/dismembering you. Enough stalling, I've already cleared it with your mom. Let's go!" I say. Real Man yells up the stairs. "MOOOOM! I'M NOT GOING!!! NFG'S AN ASSHOLE!!!" "ERIC, GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH YOUR FRIEND!!! BE BACK BY BEDTIME, 8 O'CLOCK SHARP! SO SAYS REAL MOM!!!" "You heard the lady, Eric. Let's roll." I say. "THIS IS BULLS..." Real man is thankfully cut off as we teleport to the match.