King of Consolation 2013! Griswold's Nut-Buster's Vs. Real Man's Rabblerousers

Griswold's Nut-Busters are: Dexter Morgan

Real Man's Rabblerousers are: Veronica Mars and Weevil.

Veronica Mars has tracked the whereabouts of her missing friend Weevil to an abandoned rest stop just outside of Gotham City. She looks around for a moment, and thinks for a second. "Hmmm... Lack of detail in the settings, teams split up, and a begining that almost guarantees that rules are about to be broken soon... Yup, this is a NuFaGtu match if I've ever seen it." she comments to herself. She opens the door to the rest stop and her suspicions are confirmed. Rabblerouser's owner Real Man and I are arguing in front of a vending machine. "REAL MAN IS HUNGRY!!!" shouts Real Man. "Really Eric? Again? Doesn't Real Mom ever feed you? And how come I always have to babysit you when I watch the Rabblerousers? I'm going to have to talk to Josh about next year's schedule..." I say. "REAL MOM SAYS THAT REAL MAN NEEDS TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE MORE!!! REAL BITCH TRUSTS REAL @SSHOLE'S WATCHING ABILITY!!!" explains Real Man. "I guess that next time I'll have to remind Real Mom that I'm supposed to be watching the matches, not her misbegotten spawn." I lament. "REAL MAN IS STILL HUNGRY!!!" repeats Real Man. "I heard you the first time Eric, but this rest stop has been closed for years. Do you really want an old tuna salad sandwich from an unrefridgerated vending machine? It's definitely spoiled and might give you... Y'know what, Real Man? You're right. I doubt that there's anything to worry about." I say as I smash the glass of the vending machine and grab the sandwich. "NuFaGtu IS A CRIMINAL! POLICE!!! HELP!!! MOOOOM!" yells Real Man. "Sit down and eat your damn lunch, Eric. Our semi-entertaining bit doesn't really have much to do with the story, and I'd like to get it going now." I say. Real Man eats the rancid sandwich as Veronica Mars waits impatiently. "Soooo... It's fun watching you two idiots fumble with the plot and all, but I have places to be this decade. Can we start now? Is Dexter even going to show up?" Veronica asks sarcastically. "Seeing as how you just broke the fourth wall, I'm sure you're clever enough to figure out where Dexter is right now. Frankly, I'm surprised that you haven't already left due to Real Man's creepy leering." I tell her. (Eric, put your eyes down and eat, or so help me...) "C'mon, Veronica, of all the rest stops in the world, we end up in Gotham? You'll get it, you're a smart kid. Hey, Real Man, any last words of encouragement for your player?" I ask. "DESTROY THEM ALL!!! SO SAYS REAL MAN!!!"

Veronica shakes her head and checks the ladies restroom, but there is nothing of note that she can see. She begins to head to the men's room, but naturally hesitates. She glances at Real Man and me before walking in confidently. "I have more of a right to be in here than either of those eunichs." she jokes. "REAL MAN IS NOT... FEELING... WELL..." says Eric as he doubles over due to the parasites that now reside in his stomach. I might normally have some kind of retort to her, but I'm far too busy laughing at Real Man's pain. She checks for any kind of clue in the men's room, and finds missing tiles from a wall inside a stall. She finds that the cinder blocks can be removed, and the hole leads to a tunnel. Veronica enters, and the tunnel strangely leads to a janitor's closet. As she opens the door, she is astonished to find herself in Arkham Asylum, one of the stops in the 2012 Consolation Round. It is as abandoned as the rest stop. "Maybe they're fumigating or something" reasons Veronica Mars. "OK, focus... Now where would a freak like Dexter take Weevil? He must have been drawn to the cell of one of these psychopaths. The "Dark Passenger" may have guided him to Two-Face... Or maybe Black Mask. It would be naive to think that Black Mask wouldn't have smuggled in some of his trademark bladed tools." she ponders. The answer is almost upon her, but it is a second too late. "Huuuuusssshhhh..." says a sinister voice as she feels a sting in her leg. She has just enough time to see a needle sticking out of her thigh before she passes out.

Veronica Mars awakens, and is stuck to a table in the Arkham infirmary by shrink wrap. She looks to her left, and sees Weevil trapped as well, although a knife still stuck in his heart reveals his fate, "I'm too late..." she weeps to herself. "I'm sorry, my dear, but you were too late from day one with that particular fellow. But I fixed that mistake myself." says Dexter. Veronica looks to her right, and is shocked to see Dexter Morgan also restrained to a table. "It's a shame to see a bright girl like you with a criminal like that. However, we'll have to address that later, as for now it appears we have a common enemy." explains Dexter. "Enemy?!? Dexter... I'm hurt... really... If I was your enemy, I wouldn't be trying to help you both!!" says XAS Mike as he enters the room. "Luckily, NuFaGtu was stupid enough to come back to Arkham. The evil and madness that flows through this place was a perfect focal point to finally become a force on the physical plane. And I can't very well teach anybody anything when I'm just a voice in someone's head, now can I?" says XAS. "Too bad Dexter killed Weevil AND STARTED THE MATCH WITHOUT ME!!! ... Ahem... You'll have to excuse me... I'm a little sensitive when it comes to the Consolation Rounds. Now let's see what we have here..." says XAS as he looks Dexter over. "Yes... I like it... Good play by your owner. You got style kid, I'll give you that. Maybe get a few more legit powerhouses on that squad and we'll talk." rambles XAS to Dexter insanely. "As for you..." XAS continues as he looks at Veronica Mars, "I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed. I've noticed the new you. I didn't think that you could be so easily broken!" says XAS with a grin. "The one time scourge of the message board reduced to a lap dog! Ha!" laughs XAS MIke. "Wow, tough call... Frankly, I'm begining to think that I should just kill you both and keep the crown until next time! Hmmmm... Yup! Sounds like a plan! Better luck next year, kids!" shouts XAS as he raises a knife to Dexter's throat.

"WHOA!!! Dude? What the f*ck are you doing?!?" I ask. "You... You're NuFaGtu, right? Yes I remember seeing you... You're the appeasing bumbler, always talking about league unity, eventhough you're the most expendable of them all!!! It's kind of sad, really... why would you hold such loyalty to those that would so quickly abandon you?" questions XAS with a smirk. "Maybe once, when I was a jerk like you. But not anymore..." I counter. "How precious... It doesn't matter anyways, I've waited for this opportunity. After I kill you and steal your Watcher abilities, I am the one that will truly bring unity to The FFL! And I'll do that by destroying every team brought before me!!! Soon, The FFL will be reduced to cinders! Finally, we'll all be the same... The FFL will be unified in death!!!" states XAS maniacally. "No, this isn't happening... You're NOT real... It was Professor X messing with my head..." I explain to myself. "Maybe once, but it looks like he didn't know how screwed up you really are. He was just the spark, but believe me friend, I've ALWAYS been here! HAHAHA!!!" says XAS. "No.. I'll find a way to stop you..." I declare, although I am weakened and kneel on one knee shakily. "Awww... loyal to the end. What a guy. You shouldn't be so melodramatic, NuFaGtu. I'll be twice the Watcher that you ever were! XASatu... I like the sound of that!!! Now, say goodnight 'FaGs!!!" yells XAS as he goes for the killing blow with his knife. XAS is disarmed mid-slice by a pretty sweet looking knife defense by Josh the Commish, who appears from nowhere. "He may not be our best, but we still need him. At least until he's dead or we find someone better." says Josh. Krisatu also appears and restrains XAS in an Anacoda Vice choke hold. "Seriously dude? I let you have the King of the Consolation, and this lunatic almost takes over? If you needed help, you should have said something sooner. If it's all the same to you, I'll handle it next time, we all had our fill of this @sshole last year." says Krisatu. "NOOOOO!!!!!! YOU NEED ME!!!! THE FFL NEEDS ME!!!!" rants the insane XAS. "Yeah, we'll take our chances." says the Commish as XAS is bannished to FFL jail. "And as for you, NuFaGtu, get up, finish this piece of sh*t, then report to my office for Watcher reeducation." orders Josh. "Yeah man, don't blow it." adds Krisatu as the two leave as quickly as they arrived. "Um... Yeah... Thanks...I sure hope that reeducation means pizza party. Oh Sh*t!!! Sorry guys, I almost forgot about you! Sorry about all the bad stuff XAS did to you both.... er... we're good right? Yeah... we're good... Oh sh*t!!! I forgot about Eric too!!! Man, he was in bad shape when I left him, let's all hope for the best! Anywho, I sure you two can figure it out from here... Eric!!! Eric?" I shout as I also leave.

A still trapped Veronica finally speaks. "So, what do we do now?" she asks Dexter. "I truly am sorry, but I'm afraid that this is where I kill you." explains Dexter coldly. He is free from the table, and is holding the razor that liberated him. "Oh, don't look so shocked, of course I would be prepared for my own M.O. Thankfully all that nonsense from earlier gave me enough of a distraction to get out undetected" says Dexter. Veronica tries to recall everything she can about Dexter, searching for anything that could save her. "You know you can't kill me, I'm innocent, Dexter. That's against the code." she states. "Nice try, but as I said earlier, your association with Weevil kind of negates that arguement, don't you think?" replies Dexter, eyeing the blade. "Maybe your right Dexter, but the fact remains. You're about to break the only rule that matters: DON'T GET CAUGHT. Can't you hear the sirens? Did you think that I wouldn't call the cops before I got here? I knew who I was dealing with. It's over, Dex." taunts Veronica. As Dexter hears the sirens, he realises that she is right. He broke the Code of Harry, and it happened on Fathers Day. "I've failed you... I'm sorry..." weeps Dexter Morgan, who plunges a syringe full of animal tranquillizer straight into his heart. He drops dead, and Veronica is left alone, still trapped on the table. "Yaaaaay... I woooon... Too bad I'm still stuck here. I hope that idiot NuFaGtu didn't forget about me down here...." says Veronica as she looks to the door for an immenent rescue. "Yup... Any minute now..."

Real Man and I are walking along the interstate, getting as much room betwwen us and the rest station as possible. We're making ok time, although he is stopping every minute or so to puke on the roadside. "This is your own fault Eric! I can't believe that you actually called the cops on me for breaking that the vending machine! And I only did it to feed you! Man, that's weak, dude." I say. "But I gotta give you credit Real Man, you did it. And if you play your cards right, you'll be a REAL contender guaranteed! (This guarantee is not a guarantee.) So champ, any words for your fans?" I ask. "REAL MAN IS HUUURRRGGGHHHH..." vomits Real Man, getting the majority of the puke on his own shoes. "For once, I couldn't have said it better myself..."