Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. Shemalabama's Shit Kickers

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are John McCain and Jenna Jameson.

Shemalabama’s Shit-Kickers are The Rock (w/ a blue lightsaber)


WHAT A CRAZY COINCIDENCE!! John McCain, Jenna Jameson, and The Rock were all driving down the same interstate and all had to take an enormous crap all at the same time. They see a sign for a rest stop with a big closed sign over it; but they all have similar thoughts about how they don’t care if the damn toilets flush or not, they would just rather not crap their pants. Plus as we all know, one tends to not think straight when you got a wicked case of the poop sweats. They all blow the place up with hellacious dumps. Ya know the kind that makes you wonder when it was that you ate a piece of 4 inch PVC Pipe. The three all come out of the stalls refreshed when they all notice each other. Naturally after noticing that they are not alone in the abandoned rest area they come to the conclusion that they should probably all fight to the death. The Rock begins the smack talk with this brand new one: “Do you smell what The Rock is cooking”?? McCain says: “I’m pretty sure that is just the smell of Jenna’s blown-out, disgusting vagina. I can’t believe it is actually over-powering the smell of the triple threat monster turds we all just threw down. So; no, to answer your question. If you are cooking something right now I definitely can’t smell it over those two things”. Jameson then offers to bang both of the men before the battle starts; but McCain tells her that he “wouldn’t touch that crusty, dry-sperm covered slice with The Rock’s steroid shrunken member”. The Rock then reminds her that he is a pro-wrestler and that he has done a bunch of gross stuff, most of it involving a rest stop; but that he still wasn’t interested. Jenna then grabs The Rock’s lightsaber and starts to deep throat it because she thinks that they will think it is hot; but she accidentally turns it on and kills herself. McCain looks at The Rock and says: “Please tell me that that lightsaber was the only thing turned on by that display of grossness? What a Skank”. The Rock says: “You ain’t kidding. That chick was nasty as hell and that is coming from a guy who gets butt-rammed by Vince McMahon and his entire family on a regular basis. Hell, I even had sex with The Ultimate Warrior’s dad at a party once, and I still wouldn’t nail that broad”. The Rock continues: “Well, that was fun chatting, too bad I have to beat you to death now”. McCain responds: “Oh, the match. I almost forgot, I dropped a vial of the new government strain of Super-Duper Aids in your toilet before you dropped that bomb. You have about 45 more seconds to live. It is airborne; but I am safe because of the secret government antidote and Jenna wasn’t affected because her super-power is that STDs have no affect on her. So, say hello to Owen Hart and Miss Elizabeth for me… Peace”. The Rock then falls over dead as McCain mutters to himself: “If only presidential elections were as easy as nonsensical, piece of crap consolation matches… I’d be rockin it F.D.R. style by now.