UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER III: METALLIC MASKED MAYHEM

 

            The blaring sound of a motor vehicle’s horn echoes throughout the streets of the metropolis located on the Playoff Planet.

            *BEEEEEEEE…..EEEEEE…..EEEEEE…..EEEE…..EPPPPP……PPPPPP*

            The horn continues its staccato clamor from the Highness' Ferrari.  A closer look evidences a tattered and broken body crumpled against the steering wheel of the automobile. The corpse is of "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan.  The wrestling legend’s headband and glistening, tanned muscles are long forgotten as the legend is dead behind the wheel.  A small groan emanates from behind the car as John McClane slowly rises to his feet.  He stumbles slightly as he attempts to gain his balance from the accident.

            "Maybe you should leave the vehicular homicide to your son," quips McClane as he dusts himself off.  A grimace reaches his face at the aches that shudder through his body.  Although out of breath, the “Die Hard” hero smiles to himself as he recalls being able to roll with the impact of the car running into him and surviving the incident.  He barely managed to skirt death and he knows it.

            He shakes the haziness from his head and locates his Attack Trak across the street.  As he begins to move toward the vehicle, his ears buzz with an unidentifiable snarl.  He is violently hit from behind causing his body to slam into the wreckage of the Ferrari he previously escaped from. Vampire Kang the Conqueror screams at the man who makes dying hard. McClane lies on the ground, nearly unconscious.  Kang grips the battered shirt of McClane and picks him up, smelling McClane’s blood as it courses through his veins.   As the undead attempts to feed on the human, he howls in fury since his efforts are thwarted by his full facemask.  This mistake makes Kang howl as this is a mistake that is unusual for the normally well-prepared conqueror.

            "Sorry friend, but you gotta buy me dinner before we start necking,” states McClane as he is roused from his weakened state.  “But I will give you a preview of how far I'm willing to go with you!"

            McClane knees Kang in the crotch and the villain crumples to the ground. McClane quickly stands up and manages to nail a sweet, roundhouse kick to Kang's face.  Kang ferociously strikes the ground. McClane instantly reacts and miraculously tears off Kang's mask.  Kang screams at the top of his undead lungs as the Playoff Planet’s sunlight finishes off the Conqueror in a heated explosion of ash.   

            "Yippee-ki-yay Motherf@%ker." utters McClane. 

            The former New York cop begins to walk away from the skirmish when he senses something amiss.  He suddenly turns around.  He hears a loud voice loudly emitting over the Ferrari’s radio.

            "-ool. You think that one such as Kang shall fall to the likes of a simple human police officer?!?!    Kang shall be the one to usher in your DOOMSDAY!"

            "Oh COME ON!" McClane responds.

            McClane hears a thunderous crash behind him and methodically turns around to see Cyber-Doomsday's body.  The machine, from previous experiences, now houses the consciousness of the actual Conqueror. As McClane anticipates and then braces for the worst, Cyber-Doomsday is tackled mid-charge by a blur.  The two beings crash through building after building, leaving a smattering of both bricks and mortar in their wake.

            "You may now be known as ‘Doomsday’ Kang, but I shall forever be known as ANNIHILUS!"

            The former ruler of the Negative Zone begins hammering the half cyborg body of his foe with his Cosmic Control Rod.  The voice of Kang begins to crackle and sputter as his robotic components are methodically decimated.

            "I...ill vae my.....ryptonian....half...”  the Cyber-Doomsday-Kang-the-Conqueror combo states as he begins to raise one of his massive fists.

            "Not anymore," replies Annihilus as he unleashes a massive blast of cosmic energy that finally puts the monster down.

            "Come, human" Annihilus says to McClane as he fires up his vehicle. "We still have much to do."