Season Seven: Week 9: The Horsemen of Apokolips vs Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse

The Horsemen of Apokolips is Horatio Caine, C.M. Punk w/Legion Flight Ring w/Blue Lightsaber, White Suit Anakin Skywalker and Harley Quinn w/Red Lightsaber.

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse is The Triceratons #1-3, David Koresh, Warwolf #1 and Zombie Harrison Ford.

The usually dour and dark Throne Room is filled with the loud sobs coming from C.M. Punk. The "Straight-Edge" king of wrestling cannot believe that he was relegated to the final match of the year.

Punk: You expect me to play during the last week of this season? A match that is completely pointless to both squads. This is so insulting to somebody as great as the one and only C. M. PUNK!!!!!

Both teams kind of just stared at him, wondering who he was talking to.

David Koresh: Who exactly are you talking to Mr. Punk?

Punk: Who are you again? Oh that's right, some guy who convinced entire families to burn alive, and for what?

David Koresh: That's not exactly how it went down...

Punk: So before you go on and judge me for something that you CLAIM that I did, just take a look in the mirror and remember where it is coming from.

David Koresh: (Looking at everyone else in the room) What is he talking about? Do you know Vader?

White Suit Anakin Skywalker: Don't look at me.

Punk: Oh so now you are not even listening to me Vader?

WS Anakin Skywalker: Oh, were you talking to me?

Punk: Yeah, I was talking to you white boy. You know what, forget this. I'm getting out of here.

Punk walks out of the room, gets into the elevator and as the door shuts he flips off both teams.

Horatio Caine: Straight Edge my ass.

Harley Quinn: Okay then, now that we are done with the crying portion of this match, how about we do something fun like this.

Harley runs over to David Koresh, and flips right over him. She lands with the precision of an Olympic gymnast directly behind him. This would have just been an impressive show of her athletic ability if not for the fact that she somehow managed to grab him by the roof of his mouth, snapping his neck on her way down. As his body fell to the ground she stood up with a goofy grin on her face.

Harley Quinn: On your mark, get set, Go!!! Sorry, I think I jumped the gun.

With this, rage erupted from the Triceraton's as all three of them pounced on Harley, sending her off quickly into the upper reaches of the throne room.

Harrison Ford, a great man in his heyday isn't looking too great. As he lumbered across the throne room floor towards the White Suited Anakin Skywalker, it was actually difficult to tell if he was walking that way because he was the undead or if it was just another Thursday afternoon on his ranch in Montana.

WS Anakin Skywalker: Wow I'm not sure the makeup department has the strength to make you look believable for Episode VII Harrison.

Zombie Harrison Ford: Arghhhhhh

WS Anakin Skywalker: Oh my god, you're a zombie. Oh boy, what an idiot I am.

Horatio Caine: Looks like when it comes to brains, the wrong person is looking for them.

Warwolf #1 runs up to WS Anakin and knocks him over.

WS Anakin: Oh hey there buddy, sorry I got in your way.

The Warwolf starts to put his snout underneath Anakin's cape.

WS Anakin: Come on buddy, that just isn't nice. Whoa, what are you doing down there?

The Warwolf proceeds to tear off the undergarments of WS Anakin and move in further with his deadly tongue.

WS Anakin: Oh wow, decent. Hey I don't know if you should be doing, ahhhhh, that.

The Warwolf is now buried deep into the backside of White Suit Anakin and before Horatio is even aware that something bad is happening to his teammate, the Warwolf has completely drained the life out of the obviously cannon Star Wars character.

-Sidenote: (Yep, that's right; The Warwolf is able to drain the life out of somebody by sticking their tongue into any orifice of another being. Check out Wikipedia. Which makes me think that the Warwolf was created specifically for a Fantasy Match)

On the top side of the Throne room Harley Quinn is having a good old time with the Dimension X baddies.

Triceraton #2: I'm gonna get you with my Knobby-Knuckled Notched Knife you Tricky-Slinky Little Scamp.

Triceraton #3: Not if I can't get to you first with my Katana-Cuttin' Shogun Swords!

Triceraton #1: And if they don't get you, good luck escaping without getting hit by my Laser Phaser.

Harley Quinn: Oh joy, you boys talk. You know what is interesting about talking, without the proper supply of air; it doesn't seem to work anymore.

Harley then takes one step back and does what looks like a choreographed dance move in front of the Triceratons, including jumps, a chest thrust and at last a very dramatic dive off of the bridge they were all on. As Harley is walking back to Horatio all that is left in her wake are the three Triceratons choking and gasping for air, as she had destroyed all three of their protective face helmets, leaving them to die on the bridge.

Harley Quinn: Looks like I left those boys breathless.

Horatio Caine: Well Harley, killing them did seem to have that effect.

Harley Quinn: Looks like Anakin bit off more then he could chew.

Horatio Caine: Yes Harley, it looks like Mr. Skywalker enjoyed himself a little too much.

Harley Quinn: Damn it! I broke a nail.

Horatio Caine: Yeah but it looks like...

Harley Quinn: It looks like what?

Horatio Caine: It looks like, It looks like...

Harley Quinn: You all right Horatio?

Horatio Caine: I've got nothing. No, when it comes to all right, I am the farthest thing from it.

Zombie Harrison Ford then lumbers over to Horatio Caine and takes a bite out of his sunglass holding hand.

Horatio Caine: F@#$ me!

Horatio takes out his gun and puts a bullet through the face of the undead Ford.

Horatio Caine: You've got to be f#@$ing kidding me. This is how I am going to die.

Harley Quinn then ignites her light saber and cuts off Horatio's left hand. Horatio stares at her in disbelief and then passes out.

Harley Quinn: Oh well, I hope it worked. Now where the hell is that beautifully awful creature. Come here boy, I've got a hole you'd probably enjoy even more.

She walks around the throne room for a while until she hears a ruffling in the distance. She searches it out but is taken by surprise as the Warwolf jumps at her from the shadows. The wolf knocks her down to the ground, which just makes Harley even more interested in the fight. The two jumped around the throne room for a while, every once in a while the two of them exchanged blows but to the casual viewer, it really just looked like they were having fun.

The game came to an abrupt end as the elevator door opened, showing a still bitching C.M. Punk. Harley Quinn noticing that her opponent was immediately more interested in this new development gave the Warwolf a pat on the head and told him to a "Go get him boy". The Warwolf was on C.M. Punk like stink of shit, so quickly that I doubt that Punk was even aware of it. Given he was still complaining at such an operatic level that I doubt he would have been able to notice anything outside of himself in the first place.

The Elevator door closed before I was able to see anything, so there really isn't much too tell on the matter. A couple of minutes passed as Harley just tooled around the area, playing with everything she could find. As she bounced around the throne room like a little kid in a McDonald's play area the elevator door opened back up and a surprise walked out.

C.M. Punk: Thanks a lot Harley, didn't think I was going to make it against that thing.

Harley bounced over to him with a smile on her face the entire time and stopped right in front of him.

Harley Quinn: Very funny CM.

Harley then stuck her lightsaber directly to the front of his face and turned it on, the blade popping out the other side. The body of C.M. Punk fell to the ground while a dazed Horatio Caine lay on the ground staring at the confusing scene that had unfolded only seconds after he woke up.

Horatio Caine: I guess it's true, once a Punk, always a Punk.

Harley Quinn: That wasn't CM Horatio, that was the Warwolf. Awful little critters. Love making themselves look like us.

Horatio Caine: I guess if you can't serve the time, don't commit the crime.

Harley Quinn: Please don't make me pretend you are a wolf too Horatio.

Horatio gave Harley a puzzled look as she walked past him with a smile on her face and sat down in the Emperor's chair. Horatio contemplated his teammates action and then looked down at where his left hand used to be. He then considered the fact that he was still alive and decided to let it go. He was a Horseman after all. Something like that just came with the territory.