Universe Bowl VII: Post 9

No sign of a battle could be found in the Particle Valley section of The Play-off Planet, however this recording was retrieved.

"Hello? Is this on? My nephew bought me this new fangled smart phone for my 103rd birthday, and I just can't figure any of this out. The Facespace and the Tweet Machine and what ever else these kids today are into... I don't get it, and I don't... Oh! Looks like this thing is recording after all. I suppose... I suppose I just wanted to leave something behind in case the worst happens, which seems likely at this point. I've never been one to rock the boat, but times have gotten bad, and we are all desperate. We've gathered in a cave, Midget and Kitty alike, although I've never been partial to the name Kitties. I always thought Cats was a bit more appropriate. And another thing, I... Foolish old woman, rambling on even at the end. Heh. (Audible sigh) I think we may be the only ones left after... oh dear... at... at the very least, I’ll be able to see you soon, Ben."

"Hey Bea Arthur! Are you about ready to do this thing? We ride out at sunset lil lady, just you and me! We're like Butch and Sundance! Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday! Riggs and Murtaugh! Turner and Hooch!"

"The name is May Parker, and I don't know who any of those people are. Except Wyatt Earp, he was in my graduating class in high school, and let me tell you..."

"No! My probable last moments will not be me listening to old lady stories about times of yore! What we need to do is go back out there and get a little joint revenge for our fallen teammates! I mean, I didn't see them die, but I can only assume that since I barely survived SPOILER, there's no way any of those losers had a chance! Wait did I just get censored?!? I'll show you, I'll pull back the whole curtain!!! SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER!!! C'mon man, you used to be cool.... SPOILER? Fine, have it your way. Jerk. Anyways, if they think they are going to get one over on Wade Wilson... They're pretty much right. I've read the Universe Bowl so far, and lady, we're done like dinner! The jig is up! The goose is cooked! IT'S OVER, JOHNNY!!!"

"Peter! Behave yourself!"

"Listen, you old hag, I'm not your nephew! We just have a similar costume. For the eighth time, the name is Wade, Wade Wils..."

*SLAP!

"Peter! What's gotten into you? The nephew I raised would never show such disrespect! And he certainly wouldn't give up at a time like this! No matter how bad it looks, we always get up and fight for what we believe in! We... no... Peter, it's here..."

"Eh, what the heck. I guess I could always use some practice with my trusty ol web shooters... Thanks Aunt May."

"... Those look like guns to me."

"Look, don't ruin the moment, okay?"

Thus ending the recording. Information has been difficult to gather during this Universe Bowl, but all participants are presumed dead.