The Abomitrons Vs, President Barack Obama and Pop-Superstar Miley Cyrus' "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

The Abomitrons are Cyclops, Phoenix, Ice Man, Angel, Beast, Sebastian Shaw, Fives in a Bell P-63 Kingcobra, Damud Hellstrike, Sauron, Nazgul #4 & 5, and Fat Bastard.

President Barack Obama and Pop-Superstar Miley Cyrus' “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos is Martian Manhunter, Faora, Dark Phoenix, The Space Jockey, The Dinobots: Grimlock Prime Rex (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership), Katy Perry, Slag, Snarl, Sludge, and Swoop, and Dora the Explorer, w/ Boots, Backpack, and The Map.


Hello, my name is Dora. Dora the Explorer. For those of you who aren't familiar with me, my work, or my friend Boots the Monkey, I'll give a little recap. You see, nine years ago; I was just a little girl. A little girl, with a monkey friend, a talking backpack with a talking map in it, and a love of exploring. But it has been a long nine years, and I'm not really that person anymore. You see, he changed my life. He drafted me on to his Commandos and made me more than just a little girl. He made me a soldier. For the entire administration, I have been here. I might not be one of the names on the Commando banner; but I have been the right hand of the one that controls us. I have been trusted with the secrets, given the fallback plans, made to make the tough decisions, died a dozen plus times, and dealt far more deaths than myself or my friends have endured ourselves. And today will be no different......

Three miles East of this large rock valley where both of our teams are setting up for battle, I have set up our contingency plan. It was there that I buried Map. Hid my friend, and protected him from this battle. A job that I for once didn't mind making one of my friends do; but see, the boss is worried about this match. He really wants to win these last two before he leaves the office. I'm not sure what will happen once he is gone, or what is in store for us next season without him; but it has been a great run. He's been a great president, and a great leader. I know I am rambling, but like I said before I'm not really a story teller. I'm a soldier. Which is another reason why I feel really out of place this week. I am used to being in the thick of the fight, not relegated off to the side of the battle, hiding from the real action. But I have my orders, and I always follow my orders......

Our team, and their team waste no time getting into it as this battle officially begins. It looks like they have some sugary version of our Phoenix on their team, but she doesn't stand a chance against our Dark Phoenix. Theirs becomes the first casualty, when ours just totally engulfed her power into her own. Ya gotta love it, when we take out one of their top players in the first few minutes of the match. Maybe my secret contingency plan won't be necessary after all. I hope and pray that that be the case. Sauron from their team, despite being smaller is standing toe to toe with Grimlock, right in the center of the valley. That is going to be a tough battle. Katy Perry is riding on top of him, per usual; but I'm not really sure what that silly broad is going to accomplish. I still don't understand that relationship; but hey I'm a soldier not a therapist; so what do I care?? The thing I care about is Grimlock possessing the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. I've seen a couple of robots have that since I have been here; and I'm still not sure Grimlock knows what the heck he is doing with it; but with that being said I can't deny his toughness. At this point, it looks like the rest of the Dinobots are coming over to help Grimlock and that Sauron's two Nazgul and Damud Hellstrike with the Golden Axe are coming over to help Sauron: talk about some scary dudes there.

I was a little worried that Martian Manhunter wasn't going to be able to take out Sebastian Shaw, when I saw what he was all about; but the Martian must have overloaded his absorption capabilities with his own powers and blew him up. That Martian is tough as nails; but I actually killed him once. Remember that Boots?? When Manhunter was on The Slaves and totally took him out with my jetpack??

“No, I was dead at the time; but you've told me the story”.

Oh, that's right. I love giving the Martian crap about that in the locker room; but overall, he's a pretty cool guy, and good fighter too. I wish I could say the same about that Space Jockey dude. I've been on a team with that dude, since he joined the league and I still don't get him. I even watched Aliens and that Prometheus movie; and I still don't know what that big dude is supposed to be capable of. Unfortunately, he just got taken out by a clone trooper named Fives, doing a flyby in what appears to be a Bell P-63, Kingcobra model I believe. Godspeed to the ol' Space Jockey, I think that was number ten for him. Rest in peace. OH!! Here is some quick revenge though. Faora just annihilated that plane with the clone trooper in it, and then ripped the wings right off Angel, all under a minute. I like watching that chick work. Not sure why Grimlock didn't fall for her; but again, I guess I don't really care about stuff like that.

Cyclops, Ice Man, and Beast are now all that is left of their original X-Men squad, and the three of them just rushed over to join in the Mordor vs. Cybertron battle that is still raging. The three of them work together really good and just took out Swoop and Snarl quicker than I ever thought three dudes could. Poor Swoop, he always was the weakest Dinobot. We should be alright though, because Manhunter, Faora, and Dark Phoenix just came over to lend a hand to our side. Sludge just died too, it looks like because he ate both of those Nazgul and then melted apart from the inside. Too bad, but at least he took out both of them before he went.

Oh man, I almost forgot about that Fat B-word on their team. He is waddling up now. It veers slightly from our orders; but let's just take that B-word out ourselves, huh Boots??

“Sure, Dora: We can do it”!!

Boots and I run over to that Fat B-Word, and Boots trips him up with his tail to send him tumbling. I'll just grab this rock and take it to his fat, over-indulgent head and call it a day. The rest of our squad shouldn't need to deal with that dumb, fat B-word while they are fighting the real team anyhow...

Sauron just smited Slag with that huge metal ball thing, while Damud Hellstrike just leaped up and chopped Katy Perry in half with his axe. Uh-oh...... now Grimlock is mad!! Watch this Boots, I'm not saying that I'm glad Katy is dead; but this is probably the thing we needed to tip the match in our favor. The boss really wanted this match, and now I think we may get it the old fashioned way, without any interference from me. Dark Phoenix backs up Grimlock with some major cosmic mumbo-jumbo and Grimlock goes nuts biting Damud in half and then stomping, blasting, and all out demolishing Sauron. He sure is angry. Although, he doesn't seem to be saying “Me Grimlock” anymore before he does stuff like that as much since he got the Autobot Matrix. I kind of miss it. Did you notice that Boots??

“Yup”.

That was always worth a laugh or two. Do you miss it too, Boots??

“Yup”.

Dark Phoenix then just turned her attention to Ice Man, who melted pretty quick, Faora pounded Cyclops into the ground after showing him what eye blasts were all about, and good ol' Martian Manhunter won the test of brains and strength against Beast, with a mid-air back-breaker.

So, I guess the boss didn't have as much to worry about as we thought Boots. We can go back and dig up Map from his safe space, and let him know he doesn't need to be the soul survivor, like the contingency plan called for, and it looks like we won't need this tactical nuke inside Backpack after all for the Hail Mary play. The boss's administration may be over with soon; but it looks like he can have this win under his belt, while we go in to the last match of the regular season next week.

“But, Dora: I have to ask..... I'm afraid you may have some of that PTSD that they keep warning you about. You keep talking about the boss, and the orders he is giving you; but Barack has been gone since last season. He couldn't possibly still be giving you orders”.

Boots, don't be silly. I wasn't talking about getting my orders from Obama. I never did. He was a good sub-captain, and I miss him; but Obama was just a soldier like you and me. I was talking about the real boss.

“The real boss”?? “What do you mean Dora”??

I was talking about Nick. The boss in the real world. He is the one I have been doing this all for since day one. And I sure am gonna miss him.......