George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Moist Mafia

George Washington's Slaves are Darth Shemalya, Nik Landsoh, Brek Nyram, Superman, Xorn, Vapor Man, Meteor Man, Gravity Girl, Tomar Tu, Poe Dameron, and BB-8 in The Star Destroyer Devastator, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins in Apollo 11.

The Moist Mafia is Justice League Dark: John Constantine, Zatanna, Black Orchid, Madame Xanadu, and Nightmare Nurse, Manhunter #3 (Centra), White Lantern Abin Sur, The Saint of All Killers, Kip Durron, Dass Jennir, and Shadowfax.


Must I ask again what a gay horse eats??..........??

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!! It's the Neon Master Pogo here!! Comin-Atcha with some Week Eight Action!! We got the new guy with the gross name: The Moist Mafia, and of course, the undefeated George Washington's Slaves!! If I know my FFL History, as well as Joshatu the Stuffy thinks I should than I believe The Slaves have not had a season this promising since Year Two, when they took it all the way to The Universe Bowl and lost to the famed Horsemen of Apokolips in their first of three Universe Bowl victories!!

But now here we are on Kepler, taking in the sights, thinking about how we can move humanity here after climate change someday becomes real and we have to leave our own planet. That is if The Slaves don't wreck this place before we ever get the chance, because they brought in enough firepower to blow up Rosie O' Donnell, and maybe even enough to take Joy Behar with her.

Ya see, The Moist Mafia is down on the planet, suckin in the fresh oxygen, doing magical card tricks and such while two rather large spaceships break through the atmosphere. I hear Neil Armstrong yelling “ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS POE” over the comlink while they space-rope the three seasoned astronauts on to The Star Destroyer Devastator, leaving Apollo 11 completely unmanned. The Apollo spacecraft with its antiquated computer system follows its last computer command (prolly just control, alt, delete or some crap) and holds its course right for The Moist Mafia base of operations. Causing the squad to scatter and killing only Centra the Manhunter. The Slaves were hoping for a higher attrition rate with that bold move but they're like SO WHATEAVS over it. At least they got the whole squad to get all discombobulated and stuff which helps for their all out attack that comes next. Poe, BB-8, Neil Armstrong, and Buzz Aldrin take position inside the Star Destroyer to pilot the ship, while Superman gets ready to lead the second wave of attack, which will consist of himself, Xorn,The Galaxy Trio, Tomar Tu, and Michael Collins who insisted on going because “it is crap that he always has to stay behind on the ship on these fun missions, and that it was his turn”. But they are all being told to hang back. Because the first wave, which is naturally led by Darth Shemalya, accompanied by her faithful servants Nik Landsoh and Brek Nyram are certain that the second wave will prove unnecessary once they win the match all on their own.

Shemalya and her acolytes descend upon Kepler, while The Moist Mafia stands on the ground below with their crotch-dampened Italian dress pants glowing in the sun just like they would back home on earth. But before the true battle gets underway, Shemalya decides that she needs to use the restroom. So they hit up a local bakery, which is of course owned by a bunch of stuffy conservatives who happen to make the best baked goods on the entire planet (not that I really know how many bakeries there are here on Kepler). Well..... Best baked goods on the planet, that is if you are serving them at your traditional/NON-GAY Wedding. So, Nik Landsoh orders a pumpkin flavored cupcake and Brek Nyram gets some Angel Wings while Shemalya begins to walk into the ladies restroom, where SHE begins to look for the urinals. This becomes problematic as the INSANE, INTOLLERANT, EVIL, MOST-LIKELY GUN-TOATING, CONSERVATIVE business owner takes issue with this, as his daughter was using the restroom at the time as well. Screams of “SEXUAL PREDATOR” and “LGBTQ RIGHTS” are heard by Nik and Brek who are too busy consuming their delicious snacks to care. Shemalya, in all of her power and fluid gender rolls up her unusually large member, tucks it back into her very feminine yet commanding Sith robe, exits the restroom that she had every right to be in and then burns down the bakery in a perfectly justified rage for the purposes of social justice and gender equality. They then go on to bring about more wanton destruction as the trio approaches the Moist Mafia. Nik and Brek ignite their lightsabers as Shemalya begins her sacred Sith chant:

“Death and destruction to all who have seen us..........
Let them choke on my feminine penis”.......!!........

The Moist Mafia stands in awe of what they have witnessed, and do not even bother to attack the three of them, while they assault Shadowfax, the mighty horse of Gandalf, known as Mithrandir. They make Black Orchid hold a home video camera, while they film a very edgy internet video, that is totes-fo-sho not safe for work with the majestic horse.

The Moist Mafia is once again awestruck and speechless.

But instead of doing nothing this time, Kip Durron and Dass Jennir ignite their lightsabers and kill Shemalya, Landsoh, and Nyram with three quick lightsaber swipes, because you see even hardly-known, barely-cannon, second-tier Jedis are still better than a bunch of made up Beckerman crap.

Now where was I??....................??

Ummmm...................

Oh, yeah!! The battle. The actual battle.

So, Superman leads the actual strikeforce down to the planet, while Poe, his one of a kind basketball droid, and everybody's favorite astronauts (accept for those morons that insist the moon landing was fake) stay and await orders upon their massive star destroyer that hovers above, blocking out the sun.

The Moist Mafia picked out a really good answer to Superman, by playing a bunch of magical people, but at the end of the day, he still is Superman. So before The Justice League Dark can pull any of there hocus pocus bullcrap, Supes just heat visioned the crap out of all five of them. Bummer. The Saint of All Killers puts on quite a show though, as he rips through Xorn and Michael Collins with his bear hands and then blows apart Vapor Man and Gravity Girl with his magical guns. It isn't until Tomar Tu is able to muster almost every morsel of energy in his green ring into one giant blast that The Saint of All Killers is taken out. Meteor Man, then blasts through Kip Durron, while Superman punches the head off of Dass Jennir. White Lanetern Abin Sur stands strong and prepares to make his final stand, but at that moment, the primary weapon is finally primed and ready on The Star Destoyer Devastator. Poe gives the order, and Buzz and Neil blast Abin Sur with an immense array of firepower. As the blasts are exhausted, Abin Sur is still not completely defeated, but in his weakened state is no match for the combined forces of Superman, Meteor Man, and Tomar Tu.