Affirmative Action Popeye's Vs. The Empire

Affirmative Action Popeye's is (Earth 2) Superman, The Tazmanian Devil, and Sentinel #9.

The Empire is Black Lantern Superman, Bernie Sanders (w/ The Hammer (and Sickle) Bros. Suit), & Bronze Dragon #1-4.

E2 Superman and Taz sit nestled inside the Crystal Palace known as The Fortress of Solitude, while their Sentinel circles the outside perimeter as a means of defense. The Popeye's crew are setting up for a huge party with an elite group of guests expected to come. A convention if you will; but Bernie and his friends aren't invited. Outside, The Empire mounts their offensive, despite being unsure if they can penetrate the walls of the Fortress that only the true Superman seems able to open. The Bernie Bro. in his new suit, hammer and sickle at his waist is still formulating his plan to get inside. The four Bronze Dragons await the symbol of solidarity from their comrade and Senator. They will move first in an attempt to bust open a path for their leader and his mighty Black Lantern bodyguard. BL Supes has been feeling the Bern for some time and in many ways has become the embodiment of Bernie's message and popular support. The power behind the Populist. The muscle behind the Manifesto. Bernie slams his hammer and sickle together to spark the attack and calls the four bronze dragons out by name: “On Harris, on Booker, on Warren, and Gabbard”!! Bernie yells as they move towards the Fortress.

The four mystical, metallic dragons to better suit the setting, morph from their winged forms and take the shape of massive Russian Yeti that Premier Putin has often spoke of. Bernie and BL Supes hang back as the dragons attack; and watch in horror as their plans to overtake the Party are dashed. Sentinel #9 Blooms bergs of electricity to slow them down; but Bernie's acolytes make short work of the initial defense and destroy the mechanical monstrosity. It is the defensive counter-measures of the Fortress itself that take out Booker first, then Kamala, and finally Warren as Bernie sits back unable to help them. It is hard to see if Gabbard was destroyed or not by the ecological machine laced with billions of dollars worth of crystal; but she disappeared from sight nonetheless.

BL Supes and Bernie hang out outside the Fortress in a Safe Space while they attempt to formulate their second run at the powerful White House of the Superman in front of them. BL Supes begins having his doubts about the possibility of victory; so much so that he asks his beloved leader: “Do you even understand how Capitalism works”??

Bernie calmly looks at his prized warrior and answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

For four long days, days that seem like years Bernie and his powerful follower wait outside the Fortress of Solitude amid constant attacks from the machine that protects the deepest darkest secrets of Krypton. They simply can't figure out a way to get inside. Finally, after frustration has set in fully, Bernie snaps and aggressively yells to his teammate: “You were once Superman!! You were once a part of what goes on behind these walls!! Have you no answer to it's secrets?? DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW THE FORTRESS WORKS”?!!?

With that question still hanging from the lips of his comrade, something clicks in the mind of BL Superman. A light goes off in his black lit brain and he answers: “I don't think anyone understands it fully; but I know how to destroy it”.

Immediately after saying these words, BL Supes looks to a little known weak spot in the foundation of the Fortress and begins bombarding it with darkened heat vision, Black Lantern energy, and a flurry of punches and kicks that could level buildings as strong as the Pentagon without any outside interference. A hole is finally punched through the Fortress large enough for the two Empire members to climb through, but they are met with resistance as soon as they enter the building. Despite beginning this battle with a group of “delegated” teammates that outnumbered the Affirmative Action crew, once they crossed into the Halls of the Fortress they are evenly matched two on two.

The two Supermen instantly square off in a Becks style pitched battle. BL Supes should have a bit of an advantage considering that a black lantern's light cannot be extinguished without the power of two separate lantern rings; but this is E2 Superman's house; it's his party and he can change the rules if he wants to.

On the other side of the wide, expanse room Bernie and Taz square off. The Tazmanian Devil moves wildly at Bernie in an attempt to assassinate the politician; but Bernie doesn't have a wife or sister to hide behind. He instead moves aggressively towards Taz, stunning him by throwing two hammers at the face of the snow covered white devil that so frequently attempts to quell the spirit of the working man. Bernie then uses his sickle to sweep the legs out from under his opponent and drives yet another hammer into the eyeball of Taz to finish him off. Bernie searches for his remaining teammate and looks to his right, for he he knows in his heart that nobody is to the Left of him. He sees the battle between the Supermen taking place, but sees no way into the middle of the fight without risking life and limb.

The two Supermen are completely and utterly, evenly matched in every way. Incalculable strength meeting immeasurable durability with every punch. Freeze breath and heat vision prove to have very little power against freeze breath and heat vision as most would anticipate. BL Supes takes a calculated risk, knowing that by the rules of DC Comics he should be immune to death from the non-ring wielding Superman even if his opponent is retaining more than 100% of his regular power in their current setting. BL Supes moves in fast for the kill towards the jugular vein of E2 Supes, leaving himself open to attack; but E2 Supes changes the rules that dictate the setting and triggers the change in atmosphere of his crystal home. Green and Yellow lights shine from the ceiling, thrusting Oan and Qwardian power harnessed from the Green and Yellow Lantern Corps of Krypton, decimating the power aura of BL Supes and leaving him open for an insanely powerful double-fisted punch from E2 Supes that breaks the neck of the once death-energy resurrected Earth 1 version of himself.

Bernie stands alone against the true power that fuels the machine that has concentrated all its power on his destruction. Bernie faces his opponent head on. Hammer in one hand, sickle in the other and the power of the Proletariat emanating from every cell in his body. E2 Supes laughs at the sight of his final opponent. “The United States will never be a Socialist country” The patriotic believer in truth, justice, and the American way utters. He continues: “You are in my arena now Sanders. No Bernie Bros to protect you, no popular vote to be had, just a good old-fashioned fight. Although, I am unarmed and I must admit that I noticed you handle your pair of weapons well. I'm glad I am not in NEED of such primitive tools”.

Bernie smirks and says: “Well, from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”, as he rushes at the Man of Steel with every bit of energy he can muster. Bernie lands his first hammer attack; but the sickle is smacked from his hands with such force that Bernie is knocked to the ground as well. Kal L, with a twinge of sadness on his face says: “You gave it a Hell of a run; but we were never gonna let you win”....

Superman then ends the movement altogether by conjuring and directing such an intense bit of heat vision at his opponent, that not even Senator Sanders could feel the Bern.