Team Fred Vs. Alice's Wonder Team

Team Fred is Cyclops, Jean Grey, Ice Man, Angel, Beast, Namor, Vision, Phoenix, Mimic, Super Skrull, Master Mold, Ultron, Enchantress, Absorbing Man, Bullseye, Travis Bickle, Aspen, Vampirella, Rorschach, Kilowog, Brainiac, Black Manta, Mothra, Snake Plissken, Dirty Harry, Navy Sailor #1-59, Skrull #23-50, & Xenomorph #1-3.

Alice's Wonder Team is Extinction Alice (designated leader), Apocalypse Alice, Leeloo, Carlos Olivera, Ram Man, Kimbo Slice, Tyler Derdon, Luca Brasi, Jill Valentine, Darth Deez, Darth Nutz, Sharkticon #11-40, Vampire #1-34, Storm Trooper #50, Goblin #1, Ewok #47, & Treasure Troll #3.

Both Team Fred and Alice’s Wonder Team are transported to a massive asteroid floating somewhere beyond the Outer Rim and just south of the Rishi Maze. They are both fairly covered from each other’s view. Extinction Alice sends Treasure Troll #3 out as a scout. She… He… It... (What are treasure trolls anyways??) is quickly killed by Bullseye. Cyclops orders his front line to reveal them and prepare for battle. This move stuns Alice’s Wonder Team, as they witness Superman, Wolverine, Achilles, Deadpool, Venom, Wonder Woman, Darth Bane, Silver Surfer, Starfire, Ares: God of War, Spider-Man, Yoda, Guy Gardner, Thanos, Ms. Marvel, Neo, Darth Vader, Batman, Dr. Doom, Legolas, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Thor, Omega Red, Agent Smith, Spawn, Darkseid, Shatterstar, and Zeus leap out of Team Fred’s crater stronghold. “What the hell is going on here?! How did they get all of these guys?! Aren’t they all on other teams? Most of these guys can’t even be traded!!” is heard throughout the ranks of Alice’s Wonder Team. “It don’t matter. I’m takin’ this Superman punk out! If some dumb blonde in a mini-skirt can kill him, than I sure as hell can,” exclaims Kimbo Slice as he runs directly for the Man of Steel. And with one major right cross, he puts Superman into the ground. Kimbo pounces on top of him and with several quick strikes, bludgeons the Last Son of Krypton to death. Superman then begins to change. He was a Skrull. Skrull #38 to be exact. “What the?” a confused Kimbo says to himself. “THEY’RE NOT REAL!!” Kimbo shouts to his team. Extinction Alice then orders a full scale attack on Team Fred. Tyler Durden joins his teammate Kimbo Slice in beating down Batman-Skrull #39 and Guy Gardner #50. “The first rule of Alice’s Wonder Team is…” Tyler Durden begins to say. “You DO NOT talk about how many losses Alice’s Wonder Team has!” finishes Kimbo. Darth Deez and Darth Nutz carve their way through Ares-Skrull #31, Starfire-Skrull #32, Darth Bane-Skrull #44 and Darth Vader-Skrull #45. The 34 Vampires and the 59 crash into each other at full force, with blood and sailor hats flying off into space in every direction. Several Vampires are flying around, picking up Navy seals and launching them into space after biting their oxygen hoses open. Navy Sailors #2, 3, 6, 8, 17, 21, and 42 all perish in this fashion. Rorschach, Travis Bickle, and Dirty Harry tackle Kimbo Slice and Tyler Durden to the ground, which gives Snake Plissken the opportunity to smash Tyler’s head with a meteor rock. Kimbo tosses Rorschach and Travis off of him and with a rear naked choke, breaks Taxi Driver’s neck. Rorschach, Dirty Harry and Snake triple team Kimbo and finally eliminates him. Carlos Olivera and Jill Valentine meanwhile have been trying to pick off Mothra who is floating high above them. They receive a lot of help, in the form of the 30 Sharkticons. They all jump into the air tearing apart Mothra. Master Mold then takes flight as blows away Sharkticons #13, 15, 19, 29, 30, 32, and 33. The remaining 23 Sharkticons devour Master Mold, but Master Mold’s right hand is able to get a final laser blast off killing Goblin #1, Storm Trooper #50 and Ewok #47. All of Team Fred’s Skrulls have now returned to their original form and help the Navy Sailors in their fight against the Vampires. Already Navy Sailors #47-59 have been killed, as well as Vampires #1-11. Navy Sailors #10-16 and 18-20 have also been turned into Vampires themselves. Still loyal to their team, the Navy Vampires sacrifice themselves in a suicide mission against Darth Deez and Darth Nutz. They manage to kill both Sith Lords, but all of the Navy Vampires die as well in the ambush. Carlos and Jill plow their way through Skrulls #23-30 with their semi-automatics. They are eventually taken down by Ultron and Brainiac with a combined effort. Cyclops then releases Xenomorphs #1-3 at the Vampires. They manage to kill the half of the remaining Vampires, but also Navy Sailors #31-40 who were not expecting the attack. Aspen, whose powers are all water based, is pretty much nothing more than a hot chick in a spacesuit is dispatched quickly by the Supreme Being, Leeloo. Vampirella then tries to attack Leeloo, but with little luck, as she also is killed by Leeloo. Extinction Alice and Apocalypse Alice join in to make the “Ultimate Trifecta of Mila.” The three women start devastating Team Fred’s roster, killing Black Manta, Dirty Harry, Angel, Iceman, Snake Plissken, and the remaining 21 Skrulls. Most of these kills come courtesy of Extinction Alice’s telekinesis, where she caused their brains to explode from the inside. Angry, and not wanting to be outdone, Jean Grey lifts the 12 Vampires that are still living or at least just undead and launches them through Sharkticons #20-28, 31, and 40 killing them all. Extinction Alice and Jean Grey then stand off against each other in a telekinetic battle using “mind bullets” that would amaze even Wonder Boy and Young Nasty Man. In the end Jean Grey’s unsureness of her own power, is the deciding factor. Extinction Alice forces Jean Grey to her knees, as blood is coming out of her eyes, ears, nose, and mouth, overloading the X-Man’s brain. Rachel Summers then unleashes the power of the Phoenix and incinerates Extinction Alice. But before Alice dies, she uses the last bit of energy to levitate Ram Man and fire him into Rorschach, annihilating him. The Sharkticons then make a quick snack out of what’s left of the Navy Sailors. In a swarm, the Skrulls, using their advanced technology are able to dismantle eight Sharkticons, but Skrulls #33-37. Kilowog, Super Skrull and Vision take fight and in several passes manage to blow away what’s left of the Sharkticons. Beast then mauls Luca Brasi to death. Leeloo at an incredible pace, attacks again, killing Enchantress, and the remaining Skrulls. Bullseye, knowing that there is no way he could beat her one on one, takes this golden opportunity to put two knives right into a exhausted Leeloo’s gut. Absorbing Man, who thought it would be a good idea to make himself as hard as the asteroid they are fighting on, is blown to pieces by Ram Man who rockets at him as hard as he can. Ram Man is then blasted into orbit by an uppercut from Namor. In an amazing final stand, Apocalypse Alice is able to kill the three Xenomorphs and Mimic before being vaporized by Cyclops and Mimic’s eye beams.
TEAM FRED IS VICTORIOUS!