The Untouchables vs. Team Sleeping Pussy

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 3 Match: The Untouchables vs. Team Sleeping Pussy.

Before the match, I have discovered a locker room underneath the water for the Untouchables. Present in the locker room are The Fantastic Four, Broadside, Slippy Toad, Navy Seal Chief, Petty Officers #11 & #12, Navy Seals #33-44, Odysseus, Ursula (bad guy from Little Mermaid), Widget the World Watcher, Captain Cold, Sinestro (with his original Green Lantern Ring), Onslaught, Pikachu and The Pretender Monsters.

Onslaught: I have appeared before this Watcher in Week 1 and am confident that he will again see our victory!

Pikachu: Oovyanu!!!! Goreenaq!!

Navy Seal Chief: What did Pikachu just say?

Sinestro: I think he said “I cannot wait to devour some Pussy!”

Ursula: I would agree.

I then enter the underwater locker room for Team Sleeping Pussy. Present in the locker room are Namor with his Griffin, Aspen, Black Manta, Master Mold, Mimic, Brainiac, Ultron, Vision, Absorbing Man, Female Sentinals #1-9 and Navy Sailors #1-3.

Namor: We have a formidable team in the water! Onward to victory!

Aspen: Let’s make sure that we don’t allow Namor to be wrong!

Brainiac: Remember, one of our comrades already has nine deaths. I calculate that they will focus on Master Mold to push him into the FFL Graveyard!

Master Mold: Do not let that happen. I do not want to be remembered next to Al Dawg!

I teleport the teams to newly constructed platforms; constructed specifically for this battle. The battle commences. . . .

Since members of Team SP are genetically enhanced in the water they immediately dive into their habitat. Namor with his Griffin, Aspen, and Black Manta swim to the Ocean’s depths and formulate a plan which will allow them to utilize their seafaring strengths. The other SP combatants remain on the platform.

Broadside transforms to his vehicle mode and anchors next to the platform. Some of the Untouchables remain on the platform, while others board Broadside. Ursula, a born water-dweller, dives into the Atlantic.

Since the battle is to be held in the Ocean I decide to take the platforms away from the combatants. They now have no support and no base of operations but the water itself.

Team SP falls into the icy Atlantic. The Untouchables instantly react. Sinestro creates a large raft with his ring. Those already aboard Broadside gather the remaining Untouchables. Thus, while Team SP fails to have any means of stability, The Untouchables have both Broadside and Sinestro’s raft as a base of operations.

The humans on Broadside’s deck decide that although they are not super-powered beings, they will lead the charge into battle.

Navy Seal Chief, Petty Officers # 11 and 12 and Navy Seals #33-44 hit the water. They swim toward Team SP. They focus on Navy Sailors #1-3, who are already in the water and waiting for their enemies. Navy Sailors #1-3 are first met by Navy Seal Chief. Due to his superior training over the mere sailors, Chief dispatches with Sailors #1 and #2 without much adieu. Chief looks over to his other teammates. The Navy Seals decide to allow the Petty Officers a chance to finish the life of Navy Seal #3. Navy Seal #3 manages to kill Petty Officer #12, but weakened due to the amount of time struggling in the cold Atlantic, is eventually killed by Petty Officer #11.

Without any solid support under their feet, Master Mold and Female Sentinels #1-9 took to the sky after the platforms vanished. The robots calculate the odds and determine that the least amount of resistance would be met by destroying the humans. Thus, Master Mold takes the lead and single-handedly dispatches with his death ray Navy Seals #33-35 and #39-42. The Sentinels follow suit and lay down concussive rays upon the other human inhabitants. The Sentinels manage to kill the remaining Navy Seals, being #36-38, 43 and 44. Petty Officer #11 and Navy Seal Chief are lucky and escape the robots’ blasts by using their extraordinary lung capacity to dive deep under the water, away from the blasts.

Onslaught notices the robots flying in the air above. They should be easy targets for his magnetism manipulation. He uses his power to destroy Sentinels #1-3 and 7. The robots are crushed by Onslaught like sardine cans. Master Mold determines that it is in his and remaining Sentinels best interests to fly out of range of Onslaught’s powers. Thus, Master Mold and the remaining Sentinels are safe, for now.

Namor with his Griffin cut through the water at an accelerated rate of speed. They charge to the other side of the battlefield and surface. Their rate of speed and surface angle creates a “projectile” effect at the Untouchables. The Griffin manages to crash into Pikachu. The small character is instantly smashed and killed. As Namor and his Griffin enter the water (after destroying Pikachu), Captain Cold manages to fire his cold ray at the Atlantean and his beast. The ray strikes the Griffin and nearly misses Namor.
Ursula sees that the Griffin is hurt and uses this to her advantage. The Little Mermaid’s nemesis stealthily approaches the Griffin. Her tentacles manage to capture the Griffin and Namor is thrown off the beast.

Ursula: I shall like tearing you apart piece by piece with my arms.

The Griffin bites Ursula and manages to escape, but for only an instant. The Griffin is caught again. As Namor rushes to save his steed, Ursula finishes the job she set out to do. Namor becomes enfuriated and races toward Ursula. Namor then notices his teammate Black Manta. Manta uses his array of weapons, including blades, electric blasts from wrist gauntlets, miniaturized torpedoes and energy beams from his helmet to destroy Ursula.

Manta [looking at Namor]: I love calamari.

Namor: Thank you my friend. Although I wished vengeance were mine, I appreciate your strength and allegiance.

At the surface. . .

Mimic sees his previous mentor across the waves. Mimic uses his powers and becomes a mimic of Onslaught. Mimic then uses Onslaught’s powers against him. The battle is furious and evenly matched. Each participant in the battle strains at the repeated attempts to protect himself and yet, destroy the other. “Onslaught’s” other teammates see what is going on and decide to use the ebbing strengths of “Onslaught” to their advantage. Both Ultron and Vision attack Onslaught. Ultron uses his "encephalo-ray" which places Onslaught into a deathlike coma. Vision then finishes him off. The true Onslaught is now dead.

Meanwhile, Mimic is attacked by the Fantastic Four’s Thing and Human Torch.

Thing: It’s Clobberin’ Time!

The Thing manages to smash Mimic in the face repeatedly. The Human Torch then sets him afire. As before him with Onslaught, due to being in a weakened disposition, Mimic dies.

As the Human Torch flies away Aspen strikes. She uses her powers and engulfs the Human Torch in a shower of the cold Atlantic water. The drenching of the Torch extinguishes his flame. Aspen also manages to use her water powers to grab hold of the Thing. The Thing is pounded by the waters and is eventually taken off his feet. Aspen, holding both the Thing and Torch in her waters, sink them both to the Ocean’s depths. They drown and die. Aspen then swims away.

Master Mold and Female Sentinels #4-6 and #8 and 9 come back to the battle and are met by the Pretender Monsters. The Pretender Monsters are separate now. Each Transformer focuses on a separate robot. The Pretender Monsters manage to destroy all of the remaining Female Sentinels, #4-6, #8 and 9. Master Mold, calculating the possibility of defeating the Pretender Monsters and protecting its own hide, retreats.

Broadside. . .

Slippy Toad is now on Broadside and inventing his newest weapon, specifically formulated to battle in the water. Absorbing Man manages to swim near Broadside and begins to use his weapon to smash at the Transformer. Slippy Toad, protecting his teammate, pulls out his laser gun and fires. Absorbing Man is struck by the weapon’s beam. Absorbing Man uses this energy and becomes a specially crafted water laser entity. He smiles and uses his ball and chain to fry and crush the young toad inventor. Slippy Toad is road kill.

Captain Cold, out of instinct, aims his weapon at Absorbing Man.

Reed Richards: No!

Too late - as Absorbing Man takes on the weapon’s characteristics. Absorbing Man’s body transforms into an embodiment of Captain Cold’s ray. His body is a pure icy weapon now. He thinks it is justice befitting Captain Cold as he uses his own “cold” against him. Absorbing Man heaves his chain around his head until the ball smashes Cold’s face and crushes his skull.
Sinestro believing that the raft no longer serves a purpose since it appears Broadside has his teammates covered, transports the remaining members to Broadside. The members stand on the deck of Broadside and formulate an additional plan of attack. Sinestro takes off in the sky. He is met by Ultron. Sinestro uses his ring in an attempt to smash Ultron. Ultron due to his adamantium armor withstands Sinestro’s blasts. Ultron uses his laser ray and scorches Sinestro’s arm with his ring. Sinestro attempts to raise his limp arm and ring in defense. While Sinestro is distracted, Vision flies behind Sinestro and kills the Lantern with an energy projection beam.

Other side of battlefield. . .

Namor is swimming in the water and notices another Griffin. He cannot believe his eyes. Could the Gods be so kind to give him another Griffin to drive into battle? Namor moves closer to the Griffin and notices that the Griffin is a purplish color. He realizes that he has been tricked by Widget the World Watcher. Namor, furious at being duped by the four foot alien, uses his trident and skewers the Horsehead Nebula inhabitant.
Broadside. . .

Aboard Broadside are Navy Seal Chief, Petty Officer #11, Invisible Girl, Reed Richards, Odysseus and the Pretender Monsters. They await the sea combatants of Team SP. Broadside uses his tracking systems to locate Master Mold. The Transformer uses all of its armaments, along with the Pretender Monsters, to fire upon the master Sentinel. The repeated concussions and blasts are too much for Master Mold, who plummets to its doom. Nonetheless, if it is going to die, it decides that it will make its final death worthy of the greatest combatants in the FFL – it will take some of the Untouchables with it. Thus, as Master Mold falls to its final doom, it strikes Broadside and crushes some of those topside, being Navy Seal Chief, Petty Officer #11, Odysseus and Invisible Girl.

Black Manta then sees an opportunity and approaches the craft. Reed Richards, although saddened beyond words at the loss of his entire FF family, instantly acts and wraps himself around Manta. His elastic limbs rip off Manta’s helmet. He then uses his plastic-like limbs to suffocate and kill Manta. With Manta killed, Richards reaches for the ship. He does not make it as he is hit by the Absorbing Man’s Wrecking Ball and dies. In retaliation, both the Pretender Monsters and Broadside unload their weapons on the Absorbing Man. Not thinking clearly due to him being repeatedly pummeled, Absorbing Man transforms into the water in which he is in. His watery body disbands as Broadside fires upon him. Absorbing Man meets a watery grave.

The Pretender Monsters and Broadside have almost single-handedly destroyed the entire SP Team. Brainiac, under-utilized by Team SP in the battle calculates what must be done. He discusses the matter with Ultron. Thus, Ultron knows what he must do to finish the match and destroy his enemies, once and for all. He takes his nuclear furnace out of his casing and uses it to destroy the Monsters and Broadside. Ultron destroys himself in the process.

Namor, Vision and Aspen swim away - victorious.

The Untouchables: All dead.
Team Sleeping Pussy: Namor, Aspen, Brainiac and Vision alive.

TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!!!