Inside The Locker Room - Team GWS

The team congratulates each other as the victorious members of Slaves walk back into the locker room after their week 8 victory against The Tijuana Taco Benderz.  The non active members are elated to see the combatants led by none other than Spongebob Squarepants who evaded the graveyard.

Spongebob: "Weeeeeee did it!   hahahhahahahahahaha!"

High fives are exchanged all around and the team begins to party.  But the celebrating is short lived.  The door kicks open again and an enraged George Washington storms into the room followed by assistant coach Robert E. Lee and general manager Bill Clinton.  The room falls silent.

Washington:  "ANYONE CARE TO TELL ME WHAT WE ARE CELEBRATING?!?!"

After a brief silence a brave soul speaks.

Barney Fife: "Th-th-the victory today, General."

"Ohhhhh!" Says Washington as he turns to the other leaders.  "They won today." he continues sarcastically.  He turns back to the room and slowly claps his hands together with expression of indifference as he looks around the room.  Now the center of attention, the room is glued to his every word. 

Washington:  "What did we win today?  A water match against a team that was 0-7.  BRAVO, ladies.  We have the Tiger Sharks and Hydra, you were SUPPOSED to win!"  His voice is now booming.  "You fools have won NOTHING THIS YEAR!  YOU DISGRACE MY NAME!  For the first time in our history we have not won our division.  For the first time, we are fighting for a playoff spot in the final week!  Someone PLEASE tell me what the F**K we won today!"

No one speaks this time.

"NOTHING!  That is the answer you are looking for!  And on top of that, in order to make the playoffs, we need to beat the undefeated Commandos.  Wow, it's a great time to be a Slave."

Marcus Fenix:  "Do not fear my leader.  We WILL win this week!"  He shouts raising and revving his lancer in the air.  The room begins to cheer.

Washington:  "Fenix, please tell me what makes you so confident.  You failed beat the Foamers two weeks ago.  That was their second win.  Please tell me what stopped you from winning in Vegas?  Oh I remember, you A$$HOLE$ decided to get wasted before the match.  And then the OTHER Phoenix, the one who knows how to spell his name, went all trigger happy with the rocket launcher and blew half of you guys up.  Anyone remember Vegas?

Zack Morris: "Sir, what happens in Vegas, sta-"

GW:  "ENOUGH!  I HAVE HAD IT!  Fenix is right, WE WILL win this week.  I GUARANTEE IT!  But not with any of you scrubs.  Sometimes, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.  And sometimes you need to go back to what works."  The room looks shocked and confused as the coach begins to pace and stops in front of the main doors.

"This needs to be done right." He says. "That is why your GM and I will be leading the charge against the Commandos this week, ON the field.  I also have no choice other but to start the best team possible.  Say your goodbyes as they walk out, because some of them might not be coming back... EVER.

It is so quiet in the room, you could hear an ant fart.

Washington unfolds a small piece of parchment and a quill.  He checks the names off as he reads them.  "YODA!"  The room gasps as the greatest jedi strides toward the front of the room and stands next to the general.

Yoda:  "Honored, I am."
Washington nods.
GW: "Zombie Chewbacca, Black Lantern Darkseid,..."

Yoda: "Sir, 9 deaths they have.  Necessary this is not.  Ymir, perhaps.  hmmm."
GW:  "Not Ymir.  I need experience.  This is a playoff week for us.  And, aside from me, you and Clinton, they all have 9 deaths this week, little man.  I need the best..." he then speaks softly as he turns back to his parchment, "That is why... I'm getting the band back together."

Yoda glances up and slowly shakes his head.  "No...  Start them, you can't!  9 DEATHS, THEY HAVE!"

GW: "I have no choice, Yoda.  We need to win."
Yoda:  "..."
GW: "SHAAK TI, KI ADI, MANHUNTER!"

An uncomfortable murmur fills the room as they approach the general.

GW:  "You ready, J'onn?"
Manhunter:  "It's like season one all over again, sir."
The general smiles.
GW:  "I need you to show this league what your capable of."
Manhunter: "I think I am capable enough to kill a news reporter that is afraid of a glowing rock."
Manhunter walks with the coach as the team heads toward the door.
GW: "Hey, J'onn."
Manhunter stops with his hand on the door and turns his ear.
GW: "You know they don't have just one Superman, right?  They have two..."
Manhunter: "Then I guess were going to have two times the fun, aren't we sir."
Washington starts to laugh and breaks the uncomfortable vibe in the room.
Manhunter: "What?" He says looking offended, "What would you have preferred I said?"
GW:  "I don't know, something... less cheesy."
Manhunter:  "How about something like 'Twice is Nice'?...  'Double your pleasure'?...  'Buy one, Kill one free'? "
GW: "Just get out there and stomp the "S" out of 'em."
Manhunter:  "...And that was better?"