Season 5 Week 8: George Washington's Slaves vs Tijuana Taco Benders

George Washington’s Slaves are: The TigerSharks: Mako, Lorka, Walro, Dolph, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish; Navy SEALs Chief Petty Officer #8 & #9, Navy SEALs #21-27 in a Submarine, N.S. 5 #39, N.S. 5 #40, Death Adder, Jaws, Jaws 2, The Hydra, Tomar Tu, SpongeBob Squarepants, Crash Bandicoot on a Hovercraft, Captain Crunch on his ship, Banana Man, Pet Crow, Chuck Norris w/ Iron Man’s Armor, and Cave Dump.



Tijuana Taco Benders are: Jedi Master #40, Terminator #38, 4-Lom, Zuckuss, Junkeons #15 & #16, Pet Avengers: Throg, Redwing, Hairball, & Ms. Lion; Cleetus the NFL Robot, Mike Huckabee, Bill O’Reilly, Atticus Finch, Frederick Douglass, Saurod, Princess Zelda, Rohirim’s 1-6, Decepticon Decoy’s 1-5, and Sebulba.


The sea is already a dark crimson hue by the time this Watcher arrives to witness this Divisional confrontation between the Slaves and the Taco Benders. The majority of George Washington’s Slaves are on top of their surfaced submarine and there is no sign of any member of the Tijuana Taco Benders. The two Jaws sharks and the Hydra appear to be devouring several helpless beings as a couple Navy SEALs exchange what looks like money. It’s at this point that I, Ryatu, am compelled to make myself known and get down to the bottom of this situation.


“Umm… guys? What the hell is going on?!” I say to the Slaves.


Navy SEAL #22 “Lieutenant Junior Grade Dale Hawkins” takes the rest of the cash out of his teammates hands and walk over to me. “Well you see, we got tired of waiting around for you to show up, so we just went ahead and took take of things ourselves.”


Shocked by this I quickly fire back, “You WHAT?!? But… you can’t do that?!”


“Eh… whatever,” Lt. Jr. Grade Hawkins smugly retorts.

“Sir, I’m Lieutenant James Curran. I head this team,” interrupts Navy SEAL #21. “Allow me to shed some light on what exactly transpired.”


“Go on,” I begrudgingly reply.


At this point Lt. Curran fills in the events of this match. It seems that the Slaves were actually NOT the first to attack. The Taco Benders were in fact the ambitious ones and fired the first shot. However they were not prepared for a full scale water battler. And the majority of their forces were consumed by the Hydra and the Jaws sharks. Lt. Curran went on to point out that they did lose some members of their team to the stunning display of power that Throg showed. The Slaves were taken by surprise by the small amphibian. Nor did they truly realize, just how much of Thor’s power little Simon Walterson had in him. Throg had single handedly taken out Banana Man, Pet Crow, Death Adder, both of their N.S. 5s and Cave Dump. He also managed to take out one of the heads of the Hydra. Throg was consumed by the other heads as two more also grew in place of the single severed head.


The Navy SEAL then went on to conclude that once Throg was defeated, the rest of the Taco Benders fell fairly quickly. He also added that the group known as the TigerSharks were especially vicious and went on to speak of Octavia’s needless enjoyment of dispatching Princess Zelda.


“Ok… this still doesn’t explain the money?” I asked.

“Oh yeah about that…. "God" over there had bet me that we couldn’t beat the Taco Benders before the Watcher had arrived,” adds Lt. Jr. Grade Hawkins as he points to Navy SEAL Chief Petty Officer #8. “One thing led to another and the betting they got pretty intense between our team.”


“I see,” I reply. “Well…..don’t do this again.”


It’s at this point that the cabin door opens up from Captain Crunch’s ship and a massive plume of thick smoke bellows out from inside. SpongeBob Squarepants stumbles out from the cabin below, followed closely behind by Captain Crunch who is completely hammered. SpongeBob cannot stop giggling at the sight of the Captain, who is currently missing his pants.

THE END.