Grindhouse vs. Midgets

Downtown Detroit, MI in July of 1928

Due to the logistics of time travel, the teams are dropped slightly out of downtown Detroit. They begin to move towards the downtown area so that the battle may commence.

“You know I was googling Detroit before this match, and man does this place seem like a craphole.” Says Wizard Nick Houslander to Sith Lord Mike Sroka.

“Scrim.” Replies Mike

“Yeah, I cringe just thinking that the person I was created after lived not too far from this place. It got me thinking, maybe our battle today is what caused this place to become what it is? I think that having matches take place back in time could threaten the league as we know it.” Continues Nick

Just then a darker fellow passes by and asks for directions.

“Hello sirs.” Says the fellow “My name is Coleman Young. This is my wife Ida and my son Coleman. We were looking for a restaurant in downtown Detroit where we could find some ribs, any chance you could help us out?”

“Hey, we are going there, we should take him with us. “ Says SL Mike, before being cut off by Nick

“Uh, yeah, my wizard friend Chris told me about that place. You are going the wrong way; it’s a few miles west of here.”

“Thank you sirs.” Said Mr. Young, as he headed west with his family.

“No problem.” Nick chuckled to himself.

The teams continue towards Downtown as Nick and Mike continue their conversation.

“You know, this place is nothing like I have heard of. I was expecting burned down houses, plywood windows, graffiti, decay, and gang violence by a bunch of illiterates. Instead I see beautiful homes, well-kept yards, happy people, and what appears to be a peaceful neighborhood. And why are there so many white people?”

“We can’t fight here. Look at this place, I can’t help but feel that we are the ones who cause its destruction. We need to take this fight elsewhere.” Please Nick to the rest of his team.

The Grindhouse sends Treasure Troll #9 over to the Midgets with this information, asking to move the location. They watch as the Midgets’ Bowser talks to the treasure troll. He squashes him with his fist, then looks over to the Grindhouse and nods in agreement.

Week 7 Grindhouse vs. Midgets

THE FARMLANDS OF LIVONIA

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse are:

Zombie Doomsday ,Nekron (9 deaths), White Lantern Abin Sur, Yellow and Orange Lantern Hal Jordan, Red Lantern and Star Sapphire Guy Gardner, Blue Lantern Kyle Rayner w/ Ion's green lantern ring, Indigo Lantern John Stewart, Cosmic Spider-Man, Han Solo:Rogue Jedi, Fear Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Wizard Nick Houslander, Tyrius Flare, Gillius Thunderhead, Sith Lord

Mike Sroka aka Darth Simaless, Iron Patriot, Chris Seeney w/ red lantern ring, Mickey Mouse w/LEGION flight ring, Treasure Troll, JarJar Binks

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are:

Emperor Joker and Bat-Mite in The Whiz Wagon, Nosyarg Kcid, Superbpy (Clark Kent), Superboy (Conner Kent), Red Robin and Arsenal in The Modern Age Batmobile (AKA The Tumbler), Space Ghost (9 deaths) w/ Black Lantern Blip, Mouse Voltron, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, Skywarp, Soundblaster (9 deaths) w/ Black Lantern Rumble (9 deaths), Decibal, and Legout, Wheelie, Capt. Power w/ Adi Gallia, Gwildor (w/ the cosmic key), and Paploo in a 1996 Ford Mustang twin turbo charged 351ci (5.8 liter) V-8., Oppo Rancisis, Bowser:  King of Koopa (w/ The Orange Lantern Ring), Toad (from Mario) (w/ 9 deaths) on a scooter, Ewok Child #1A-2a, Smurf #1.

The teams arrive at their new location.

9 deathers have a history of going out with a bang in the FFL. All FFL characters know that and as a result have gotten a bit cocky on their last lives. Today is no exception, as they have wasted no time beginning the battle.

Soundblaster ejects BL rumble, decibal, and legout. His cassettes quickly run over and maul Han Solo while Soundblaster crushes the Iron Patriot. The four regroup and attack cosmic spiderman. Cosmic spider slows Soundblaster down with a web but decibal and legout hold him down as BL rumble pile drives him into mush.

The two superboys are struggling to hold down Zombie Doomsday when Space Ghost de-actives his invisibility in front of him and pulls his head off. Space Ghost then grabs the sword from Tyrius Flare and drives it through her chest. He then removes it and drives it through Gillius Thunderhead’s chest, where he leaves it.

Toad picks up JarJar Binks and throws him into Mickey Mouse, killing them both.

Nekron sees the destruction of the midgets and wishes to match it. He waves his hand and an entire field of corn withers over and dies. The farmer who owns the field walks out of his home just in time to see one of his cows topple over and die. “That was my favorite cow.” He remarks, visibly saddened.

All of a sudden a rainbow appears.

Mouse Voltron, the Ewok Children, and Smurf #1 run over to the end of the rainbow in search of a pot of gold. After they fail to return, Capt. Power, Adi Gallia, Gwildor, and Paploo drive over in their mustang to investigate. When they reach the end of the rainbow they see that all of the ring holders on the Grindhouse are creating the rainbow, and their comrades lay dead on the ground. “I thought it was odd that this rainbow had black in It.” remarks Capt. Power. SL Mike Sroka quickly drives his light saber through Capt. Power, Gwildor, and Paploo. Adi Gallia ignites her light saber in time to defend the attack, but it shot in the back of the head by Chris Seeney.

Just then the young family arrives. “Momma, Poppa, over here!” the boy shouts. “We didn’t get the ribs but we can still get the pot of gold!” and just as he says this wheelie accidently drives over his parents. “No!!!!” screams the boy. Wizard Nick Houslander walks over and tries to console the boy, but the boy refuses. “You killed my parents! I hate you!” and then runs off.

Emperor Joker Chuckles. “You have all messed this world up more than I could hope. I grow tired of this match, I want you to see what you have done.” Emperor Joker then returns to the locker room. All the combatants on the battlefield become faint and collapse.

Wizard Nick Houslander awakens and realizes he has no idea where he is. He sees a passerby and waves to the gentleman.

“Excuse me, where am I? What year is this? Wizard Nick asks

“Fo realz boy, you need to steals yoself a calendar. Everyone here in Libonia knows that we livin in 2028.”

He sees a crowd forming in the distance and decides to investigate.

“Ladies and gentleman, please welcome the mayor of Libonia, Mr. Kwame Kilpatrick!”

As the announcement is being made, the locals exit their huts and crowd around. The crowd hoots and hollers as the mayor makes his entrance.

“Thank ya’ll fo comin’ out ta-day, LIBONIA!” says the mayor. “Ya know, before ya’ll put me in the slammer, I told you that you dun set me up for a comeback. Well, here it is!”

“I know you is sick of those oppressive de-troit honkies. Well, today we gonna realize the dream of owa great maya Coleman Young. Wees gonna exact revenge on those honkies who killed owa ancestors. Everyone grab they guns, we gonna tell de-troit, Aloha Muthaf@#$%s!”

By this time all of the combatants have regained consciousness and are watching the actions of the libonians.

A city’s worth of half clothed people grab what appears to be an assortment of shotguns and automatic weapons and begin marching towards Detroit. Although the population of Detroit in this year is in the millions, they fall quickly to the rampaging libonians as recent legislation by the government has left them unarmed. Both the Grindhouse and Midgets watch in awe as they witness an even bigger massacre than either had hoped of accomplishing today. Soon, millions are left dead as the majority of Libonians, Detroiters, and other in the metropolitan area fall victim to the world’s largest drive by.

“What have I done?” says a distraught wizard Nick Houslander moments before being blasted by Space Ghost.

The teams begin to re-engage each other when Nekron Bellows “Stop.”

The teams stop and watch as Nekron waves his hand again. This time, the millions of recently deceased rise from the dead and begin marching towards the midgets.

“I don’t think I have that many kills left in me.” Says Space Ghost, as he orders his team to retreat.