s6w6: The Shebamala Shit-Kickers vs The Royal Highness pt 1

The Shebamala Shit-Kickers are: Real Man,  Zombie Galactus,  Red Lantern Hal Jordan, Vampire Kilowog, Razor, Aya,  Nightwing (Lor Zod),  Flamebird (Thara Ak Var),  Superior Spider-Man, Blackfire, Father of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Zombie Parasite, Flash (Wally West), Predi-Alien with red lantern ring, Firestorm, Metallo, Female Furies: Granny Goodness; Gilotina; Lashina (with Atlas axe); Stompa (with heat axe); Bernadeth (with Halbeard) and Mad Harriett, Predator #13 with yellow lantern ring,

Predator #14 with green lightsaber, Wizard #3, Ric Flair with blue lightsaber, Tully Blanchard with Sith lavarouk, Bret "the Hitman" Hart with Mithril vest, Jim "the Anvil" Niedhart, Davey Boy Smith, Dynamite Kid with Tron suit and light disc, Triple H with red lightsaber, The Rock with blue lightsaber, Terry Funk and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin with a blue lightsaber and jetpack.

The Royal Highness are: Yoda, Phantom Stranger, Doomslayer, Cyborg Doomsday, Steel Doomsday, Superboy Doomsday, Metron, Professor X, The Authority (Jenny Sparks, Jack Hawksmoor, The Engineer, Apollo, Midnighter, The Doctor, Swift), Invincible, Punisher with jetpack, The Kraken, Sandworm, Nova(Richard Rider) w/Worldmind, Vampire Kang the Conqueror, Col. Sanders, NFG Mike w/green lightsaber, and the U.S.S. Enterprise.

 "Quickly now, quickly." says Kang as he's seated in the captain's chair of the U.S.S. Enterprise, his loyal gaurd Cyborg Doomsday stands motionless by his side. "Things should be falling into place. Status report, Mr Midnighter."

"Our battles progress rather well, Kang. Apollo, Nova and Invincible have felled zombie Galactus, but not without cost. It seems...no..."

Kang smiles beneath his mask, already well aware of what transpired "Go on, Midnighter. What happened?" 

"A-" Midnighter regains his composure "Apollo has perished. The first took too much out of him and his was killed when he offered up his powers to help Nova supercharge the blast that finally killed the monster."

"Good. A pity your husband fell, but the information Ryder has gained shall be invaluable to him in the coming moments."

"YOUR MOMENTS ARE FEW NOW, HIGHNESS. SO SAYS REAL MAN!"  a voice suddenly booms across the deck of the Enterprise. 

"A bit earlier than I originally thought, but no matter." Kang gets up "Seal the transport room and prepare for detonation. We'll kill them as they arrive." The Enterprise transports shimmers as Bret Hart, Terry Funk, Davey Boy and Dynamite beam aboard, led by Metallo. 

"Let's go Funk them-" begins Terry as an explosion rips through the transport room, killing all of the shit-kickers as they arrive. The doors then explode open as the Punisher rushes in, pries open Metallos chest, and removes the kryptonite and starts chiseling away at in, mixing it with gunpowder. 

"Hurry, Frank. They'll be here soon. Midnighter, report." says Kang.

"That explosion crippled the ship, Kang. We're basically trapped up here. We're sitting ducks"

"Are we?" asks Kang "I've seen how things go and made any possible precautions. The Kryptonians shall be here sortly" 

As Kang finishes his sentance, there's the sound of metal tearing and gunfire. "And The Punisher shall dispose of them, though tragically the hull breach shall cost him his life as well" And just as Kang predicted, the headless corpse of Nightwing floats by along with Flamebird who has been sort in the heart and the Punisher's dead body. His face a bright red and his eyes bulging from  suffocating in the vastness of space.

"Now, we just wait." smiles Kang. "The big guns have for the most part been disabled. We may be stuck up here, but I've accounted for that. As we speak, Ryder is draining the remnant solar power from the Kryptonians and shall use it to overcome zombie Kilowog." 

A bright flash occurs outside, and we see a bunch of ash and a green ring zoom by. 

"Ryder now shall fall as Jordan's rage comes into play" 

An explosion of red  erupts outside the ship.

"But he shall be no match for..."

"Hal Jordan shall not be felled by the like of you" says the voice of Aya over the speakers of the enterprise

"Ah. The robot." smirks Kang as he flicks a small switch on his gauntlet. His emits a tiny shudder, then looks to the main screen of bridge "What....what's happening?" 

"I've uploaded my consciousness into your ship, Conqueror. We may not be able to get in physically to battle you, so we'll just change the battlefield. You're new coordinates are the center of the sun, sunlight being the greatest weakness to your current state. And to ensure we reach our final coordinates, we put into place our final gambit."

"N-no. This isn't. This isn's where I'm supposed to.." stammers Kang as he stumbles for the navigation controls. He falls to the ground and looks in shock at his legs. Suddenly, the cyborg eye of Doomsday flickers out, it reactivates but in a  green hue instead. 

"STRUGGLE..BUT AYADOOM SHALL DESTROY ALL!!!!!" screams the monster as it erupts to life and begins destroying everyone in sight. The Stormwatch crew is easily slaughtered by the monster, as he takes them by surprise. Invincible hails down punches on his possessed teammate, but they do little good. The beast grabs him by the throat and smashes him into the ground. The bone and metal fists of the beast pulp the teenagers face.  It turns it's attention to the quivering Kang, when suddenly, Metron appears. 

"I believe these belong to you." he says as he tosses a red ring at Aya, along with her robotic body.  "Now, it appears you have nowhere else to go, robot. But just to be sure" Metron snaps his fingers as a loud BOOM erupts and Steel Doomsday appears.

"IT NO MATTER!" shrieks the beast "AYA DIE BUT TAKE YOU WITH!!!" the beast rushes it's brother as Metron blinks out of the way.

"Puh-puh- please. Don't let me die here" snivels Kang, as his skin begins to smoke. "I...I... AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH" he screams as his body bursts into flames and dissolves to ashes.

"Just as expected" notes Metron. "Now to see how things fare on the playoff planet." He disappears as the Enterprise begins it's entry to the sun. As the mighty ship burns CyberAyaDoomsday and Steel Doomsday battle fiercely, oblivious to as their bodies begins to burn. They fight to their last breath as the sun melts the metal comprising their bodies.