S7 W1 - Defending Universe Bowl Champions: The Horsemen of Apokolips vs Real Man Rabble Rousers

Horsemen are: Lion-O (w/ GL ring), Tygra, Batman, Brandon Inge (w/ GL ring), Taskmaster.

Rabble Rousers are: Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Yin Yang, Gunner Jansen, and Hail Caesar.

It is 2:00 am and the Rabble Rousers are the first to show up on the dimly lit street court in north Harlem.  They immediately take objection to the 3 on 3 street game that is already taking place by a group of local hooligans.

“Pardon me, Gents.  But I believe the park is closed.  Best be getting on your way.” Says the always handsome and articulate Lee Christmas.

“What’s dat, Honkey?  Whooz gonna make us?  You, the Chinaman and your 3 grandpas?”  Says the clear leader.   (Lets call these guys ‘Harlem Hooligans #1-6)

“Aaaa.  Look here pal,” says Barney Ross, “We booked this here lot with the NYC Parks and Rec department 2 weeks ago.  Here is our permit, we don’t want any trouble.  You just have to scram.”

“Oooooh!  They gotz a permit boys!” HH#1 says mockingly to his pals.  He then grabs the permit from Sly and wipes his ass with it.  The two are now nose to nose when HH#1 continues.  “We got a permit too!”

Immediately the 6 thugs pull out their guns and begin to fire on the washed up actors.  The Horsemen now teleport in the match and have absolutely no idea what is going on.  Being a sworn defender of Gotham, Batman rushes into action to defend his fellow FFL competitors.  The rest of the Horsemen follow his lead without a second thought.  Hail Caesar has HH#3 in a headlock and breaks his neck just before a bullet hits him in the face.  The worst third baseman in Detroit Tigers history is met with a similar fate by a barrage of bullets from HH#4’s twin Glock 40’s.  Yin Yang and Gunner Jansen are locked in a fist fight with HH#5 and HH#6 after knocking their two guns away.  Gunner manages to get HH#6 down to the ground and smashes his face repeatedly into one of the basketball hoop poles until his nose is inside his brain.  HH#5 manages to get a hold of Yin Yang long enough for HH#1 to shoot both of them to death, having no regard for his own friend’s life.

Tygra avenges Inge by clawing the guts out of HH#4 and he bleeds out within seconds.  As he stands up, all he sees is the end of HH#2’s gun for a split second before he is shot dead.  HH#1 is now firing multiple shots at Batman but they just deflect of his armor.  One bullet ricochets and kills Gunner Jansen as he was running back in to join the fight.  Taskmaster picks up one of the fallen guns and mimicking the thugs, starts shooting randomly with the gun tilted sideways.  As anyone can imagine, this is not the most accurate way to shoot so not only does he kill HH#2 but he kills Lee Christmas as well.  HH#1 has now been wrestled to the ground by Batman but manages to get a fatal shot off into the chest of Taskmaster before Batman chokes the life out of him.

Batman stands up and after a few seconds of silence, Lion-O and Barney Ross (who both hid behind a dumpster) emerge onto the blood soaked court.

“What happened, Barney?” asks Batman as he approaches the other two.

“These guys were here when we showed up and when we asked them to leave, things… escalated slightly.”

“Yeah.  Slightly.” adds Lion-O.

“Well, what are we supposed to do for the match.  2 on 1 isn’t exactly a fair game.”  Barney says turning around to survey the scene again.  “I don’t see the ball anywhere either.”

“I got one.” Says Lion-O

As Barney turns around he sees the Sword of Omens swinging toward him.  His head is sheared clean off his neck and his limp body falls to ground.  Lion-O scoops Barney’s head and lobs a perfect half court hook shot into the chain link net.

Lion-O grins at Batman.  “We win!  One to nothing!”