Season 8: Week 1: The Empire -vs- Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches

The Following is an excerpt from Ken Burns’ documentary, “When It Was A Game 5"

Narrator (Peter Coyote)

The game thrived through the better part of the 21^st century, introducing new pace of play mandates such as the pitch clock, the batters clock and even the game clock. No game after the introduction of the game clock ever lasted longer then two hours and fifteen minutes. Die Hard fans of the game considered these changes a death blow to the purity of the sport. Yet despite all of these claims, the game continued on, eventually taking back it’s rightful crown as the past time of the American people.

Despite all of the so-called improvements to the game, there were still naturally a couple blemishes on baseballs imperfect score sheet. The first that every fan remembers is the much derided “Long-stop” experiment that only lasted for one season and was quickly dissolved as the next season began. The idea that there would be a gap to fill in-between the first baseman and the second baseman flew in the face of logic, something that baseball did not always use as a gauge when it came to making the game, quote un quote, better.

The second blemish on its record towards the end of the 21^st century would not even involve active players in the league, in fact, most of the participants were not of this world at all.

The FBC or the Fantasy Baseball Classic still goes down as the biggest disaster since the infamous 1994 players strike that ended with the cancellation of the World Series. The FBC introduced an entire gallery of unheard of creatures that decided they could compete with each other in a supposedly serious game of baseball. Most games are remembered for the incessant fighting and poor play, making Major League Baseball look more foolish as every game was played.

Despite the dismal ratings and attendance, the public outcry for unbalanced teams and human rights violations that persisted throughout the entire series, the biggest highlight was perhaps the game between The Empire and B3. The squad that was put up by B3 was a typical menagerie of nobody’s and criminals, a common complaint among many of the teams in the FBC. It was obvious from the get-go that the Terminator who was the starting pitcher for B3 had never thrown a baseball in his entire life, evidenced by the 11 earned runs allowed before a single out was recorded in the first inning.

Bob Costas: The Fantasy Baseball Classic lays claim to one of the biggest blunders in the history of the sports. Why Major League Baseball, who had been number one now for over thirty years, thought it a good idea to do something like this made absolutely no sense at all.

Al Michaels: Next to making the All Star Game count towards the home field advantage in the World Series, I can’t think of a single event in the history of baseball that caused such a mess for the league.

Joe Buck: The FBC was a disaster for the league. Every game came with it’s unique set of issues. The most damning issue being the truly heinous way the players were allowed to treat each other. It was as if China was in charge of the league for two weeks.

Brian Williams: I remember the Fantasy Baseball Classic quite well actually. People really seemed to enjoy the off-world creatures involved in it. I know I enjoyed each and every game for what it was, the most inventive and innovative idea in the history of sports.

Joe Buck: Honestly, if it wasn’t for Zach Greinke’s perfect game I don’t think Major League Baseball could have survived the travesty that was occurring day in and day out.

Narrator

The backlash was violent against Major League Baseball and for seven straight days the people in the media, government and even other athletes were calling for the commissioner’s head. The United Nation’s even established a committee to talk about the human rights violations that were taking place every single game. Then on the eighth day of play, a savior came to the rescue.

Al Michaels: I have seen a lot of sporting events in my life that I would consider a miracle, but what Zach Greinke was able to do that day on the mound, was nothing short of divine intervention.

Bob Costas: (Pauses) It still boggles the mind to imagine Zach, in the middle of a media firestorm, being able to do what he did.

Joe Buck: 27 straight strike outs, 81 straight strikes. Not a single ball touched a bat that day for him. Unbelievable. (Pauses) It will be forever known as the Golden Greinke.

Bob Costas: Major League Baseball owes everything to him, still to this day. That performance will forever go down as the greatest this sport has ever seen...and will ever see. Just perfection.

Narrator

That perfection ended in a 46-0 victory for The Empire, still a major league record for a sanctioned game. Though the Fantasy Baseball Classic was still viewed as a disaster, it, for one night, might just have been the most magical thing that has ever occurred on the diamond.