Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Super Orange Dramatic Kitten Sisters of Luna

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Darkseid, Dark Supergirl, Kalibak, General Zod, Ursa, Non, Pyro, Bowser: King of Koopa, Superboy Prime, Dark Dragon, Tom Brady (in Hulkbuster Iron Man Suit) w/ Broccoli, Nazgul #8 on Fell Beast, Wedge Antilles in a X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in a X-Wing, Hella: goddess of Death, & Bossk in Hound's Tooth.

The Dramatic Super Kitty Sisters of Luna are Vampire Abeloth, Zombie Abeloth, Cicada, Blackfire, Athena, Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles “Tails” Prowess, Terra, Jack Baur, The Toxic Avenger, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, & First Aid, Ttanus, Lazarus Long & James Vietch in a 2 Seater Y-Wing, Captain Steven Hiller in a X-Wing, Captain Jimmy Wilder in a Y-Wing, Samus Aran, Savitar, Princess Leia Organa w/ a Speed Ring, & Aeon Flux.

What a desolate place this is, I said to myself as a ran into the scene to watch this week's match (as you all know, one cannot simply walk into Mordor). I definitely wouldn't want to live in this place. Looks a lot like 2021 America after what is about to happen to the economy in 2020. Darkseid on the other hand seems to think the place is grand and likes it almost as much as his home planet of Apokolips.

“We could set up a great new home here”. Darkseid says to his #2.

“Yes, My liege”. Replies Dark Supergirl.

Darkseid and his Horsemen with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are well solidified and fortified within the fire-laden, evil domain that was once home to a being of such evil and such power that even Darkseid himself would have been impressed. His soldiers stand ready for the incoming army that is now going to attempt to simply walk into Mordor (crap. I already used that line didn't I)??

Jack Baur has been tasked with leading this team into battle. The Super Kitties of Luna's newly appointed Coaching staff, comprised of Barack Obama, Teddy Roosevelt, & Princess Tomato of the Salad Kingdom insisted that Agent Baur take point on this dangerous mission. He has been given full authority to call all the shots.

The death of The Super Kitties first overall pick from Season 1: Abeloth was tough; but with the addition of Vampire and Zombie Abeloth, the adversity has been stifled. Little did the Super Kitties High Command realize that the two new reincarnations of the Mother of Mortis wouldn't exactly be buddies. The first thing that happened as the squad was released into the battle field was a bit a friendly fire incident as Vampire Abeloth, still having her wits about her consumed Zombie Abeloth completely. This may seem like a tremendous loss to the team, but it may not be as Vampire Abeloth not only keeps her wit and force abilities, but has also just doubled her raw power quotient.

Jack Baur radios in the orders to his squad and the battle finally begins. Lazarus Long leads the air assault, being flanked by Marine pilots Hiller and Wilder. They fly in fast and complete a full strafing run before Wedge and Biggs in their X-Wings and Bossk in The Hound's Tooth can take flight; but once they do, the dogfight over the skies of Mordor begin.

Savitar runs circles around General Zod and shows that his speed is far superior to that of The Kryptonian Soldier. But that is the only area that Savitar trumps Zod in, for once Zod finally is able to catch up to his opponent with his own super speed and get a hold of the evil version of Barry Allen, Zod is able to crush the life out of him with his immeasurable strength.

Superboy Prime rushes in towards Cicada and is shocked to find out that after he attempted to use a blast of heat vision on his opponent that the power was lost once Cicada threw down his dagger. The power was returned to him though once the not-so-nice Last Son of Krypton used his myriad other powers to freeze the villain and then punch his head off.

The Toxic Avenger, in a truly grotesque manner shoves his mop handle into the eye of The Fell Beast of Mordor, but Nazgul #8 takes full advantage of his home turf and power by removing the Troma character's head with his long sword.

Ursa and Blackfire both take flight and begin a pitched battle (shout out Beck forever) in the darkened, clouded skies of Mordor. Blackfire holds her own for quite some time; but in the end can simply not do any real damage to the Kryptonian. Ursa hits her with a concentrated blast of heat vision and is then able to get a hold of the Tamaranian and strangle the life out of her.

Aeon Flux bites off a little more than she can chew by attacking Tom Brady in his HBIMS. She gets in some sweet looking kicks and pretty wicked attacks, but the GOAT uses his superior firepower and leaves her speechless (get it. Cuz nobody talked in that show (never mind, you guys probably don't get that reference, nobody watched that show but me)).

Dark Dragon awakens from a Morgath Volcano and begins to take full corporeal form. The Protectobots merge to form Defensor but are still no match for the power being summoned by Dark Dragon. Sonic and Tails race back to tell Jack Baur about the awakening. They inform him that this threat is huge and that we must send Vampire Abeloth after it. Baur informs them that Vampire Abeloth has already begun battling Darkseid and his minions and that she is unavailable; but assures the speedy rodents that there is a plan in place. Baur uses his CIA/NSA top secret intel on ancient weaponry that he discovered while running special ops in Babylon to call upon the power of Ttanus and have him merge with Defensor to form the Ultra-Medical-Defense Zord (this is actually what the $6 Trillion House Bill is funding to kill COVID-19 as well (don't tell anybody)). The UMDZ blasts all three of Dark Dragon's heads off; but as the story goes: A hero must stand and watch over Dark Dragon for eternity, so as Dark Dragon falls deep into the depths of Mordor, The merged Ttanus and Defensor fall into the depths with it.

Terra looks to Non for battle and defiantly says: “You might look big and tough, but I've fought plenty your size. I'm not scared, let's do this”. But that was a pretty silly thing for her to say, because Non then crushed her in a matter of seconds.

Hella may be the goddess of death, but she finds herself outmaneuvered and out-skilled by the goddess of Strategy Athena. Athena dodges the many attacks of Hella and then swiftly relieves Thor's sister of her head.

Sonic and Tails race over to Princess Leia to relay the battle plan given to them by Baur. Pyro attacks the trio with his flamethrower and the fiery surroundings of Mordor; but Leia uses her boosted agility from the speed ring and Force sensitivity to allow the trio to escape the attack. By the time Pyro realizes what has happened, Sonic and Tails are long gone and Leia has used her lightsaber to run the mutant through.

The Star Wars ship dogfight continues in the sky with Biggs being taken out by Captain Steven Hiller and “The Reverend” Jimmy Wilder being shot down by Wedge.

Bowser comes stomping out of a volcano like a bull in a China shop (is it racist to call it a China Shop in 2020??)? But Samus manages to send the beast right back into the volcano after she hits him with a perfectly aimed, fully charged laser blast to the chest.

Good thing Lazarus Long is a good enough pilot to fly the Y-Wing without help, because James Vietch doesn't know what he is doing. Vietch is serving to make Lazarus crack up though with numerous graphs he has created on the weather, death rates, and misery index of Mordor. Long, despite having the less armored ship proves his excellent flying skills by taking down Bossk in The Hound's Tooth; but is taken out shortly afterwards by Wedge in his X-Wing who seemingly came out of nowhere. Long pulls the eject button on the Y-Wing and begins dropping down to safety; but his comedic friend James gets his over-sized graph stuck in the pod and does not make it out alive. Steven Hiller tries to copy Wedge's maneuver, but doesn't execute quite as well. Wedge doubles back and takes out Hiller as well.

Double-Powered-Quadruple-Undead-Vampire Abeloth unleashes a whirlwind of Force power on Darkseid and his entourage that vaporizes Kalibak in the blink of an eye. Darkseid blasts her back with Omega Beams and Dark Supergirl hits her with as much heat as her vision can produce. Abeloth struggles to break free from the powerful energy projection that would kill just about anything on any world; but before she does,Zod, Ursa, Non, and Superboy Prime come in to lend a hand, and destroy The Mother of Mortis. Only Non gets too close to the release of power and perishes in this final onslaught of the Kitties Champion.

Jack Baur realizes that all hope is lost with the loss of Abeloth and signals the retreat; but The Dino-Mites under the orders of the merciless Darkseid continue to push forward. Athena, Leia, and Sonic hold the line. Athena delivers a sword to the face of Nazgul #8 to take him out but is then triple-teamed by Darkseid, Zod, and Dark Supergirl. Sonic pushes Tails out the way to protect him, but is killed by Superboy Prime and Brady.

Baur, taps Leia on the shoulder and simply says: “It's time”. Princess Leia uses her Speed Ring to cast Egress.

Darkseid and his minions search Mordor to no avail and come to the conclusion that they must be dead. But if they think Baur and his friends won't be back for revenge..... Than they don't know Jack.