Week 7: TEAM vs. Striders of Rohan

TEAM is: Leader One, Scooter, Turbo, Perceptor, Kup, Springer, R.C., Wheelie, Hubcap, and Sunstreaker.

The Striders of Rohan are: Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombour, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bill the Pony, Bilbo Baggins, Grishnack, Grima Wormtongue, Isildor, Arathorn, Fremen #1, Fedayeen #2-5, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4, Gondor Soldiers #13-15, 14 Goblins (#5, #7, and #9-20), Gollum, Tim Cheveldae, Alan Trammell, Paul Coffey, Steve Yzerman, Barry Sanders, Elon Musk, Juwam Howard, Robert Downey Jr, John Quincy Adams, Aaron Griswold, Scorpion, and Liu Kang.


On the bleak surface of Geonosia, a horde of discount Striders made a charge on TEAM's crack squad of Transformers*. Squat and crafty, Bilbo Baggins eagerly found himself a poor fit for the front line, and the initial volley of blaster fire took him down. Turbo tore through the gaggle of Goblins, but when he shot Bill the Pony he earned the furious vengeance of Thorin Oakenshield. Just as Thorin severed Turbo's connections, Hubcap brought a heavy robotic fist down on the Dwarf's skull. This whipped his Dwarven posse into a frenzy, and they swarmed Hubcap. Though he managed to crush Bofer, Oin, and Nori, he succumbed to the nine remaining shorties. Isildur lead the three Fedayeen against Wheelie, but Perceptor caught them with his shoulder cannon before they could finish off the little Autobot. Together the two fought through to assist Scooter, who was on the ground getting kicked by the regular, powerless human celebrities of the Striders. They cleared the fodder off their off-brand buddy, and Wheelie extended a hand to help him up. As he did, the scent of brimstone hit their electronic olfactory receptors, and a spear flew in to Perceptor's chassis. Scorpion yanked him closer as Liu Kang brought a flying bicycle kick to his head, knocking it clean off. Wheelie blasted Liu Kang as he returned to the ground, but Scorpion was quick to melt him and Scooter down with fire breath. Sunstreaker and RC killed off the swarm of Dwarves that overwhelmed Hubcap and turned their attention to Arathorn, who was attempting to organize and rally the ragtag forces left on the field. He made his final push against Springer, Kup, and Leader One with Scorpion and the Gondor Soldiers, while the rest of their team split off to keep RC and Sunstreaker at bay. As they charged, Scorpion teleported behind Kup, kicking him straight into the spears of the Soldiers. He was punished quickly by Leader One, but the distraction proved fatal enough as the GoBot leader was cut down by Gondor's finest. Springer shot down the soldiers, but Arathorn ran him through. Meanwhile, RC and Sunstreaker had disposed of Wormtongue, the Ghola, and the Fremen before Grishnack took down RC with his scimitar. Arathorn bellowed a warcry and charged, but the gun is mightier than the sword and Sunstreaker was quick on the draw, killing both the orc and the human. He stood proud, basking in his incomparable tactical skills, when a boulder was pushed down on him from the cliff above. At the top, Gollum danced and clapped his hands, cackling out a cheer: "Weak, shiny robotses!"