Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. The Famous Red Garter Guardians of the Galaxy

 Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are Galvatron, Booster Gold, Lex Luthor, Skeletor, Darth Nihilus, Black Goku, Lady Dimetrescu, Robin in the Modern Age Batmobile, Recoome, Burtur, Jeice, Guldo, & Capt. Ginyu, The Vampire Lestat, Nick Fury (w/ a red lantern ring), The Beast & Belle in the Pimpmobile, Uhura, Data, Scotty, Odo, & Nog in Cannon-Man's Tank-icopter, Zombie Red Lantern, Vampire Red Lantern, & Black Lantern Red Lantern.

The Famous Red Garter Guardians are:  The Guardians of the Galaxy:  Star Lord in a TIE Interceptor, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket in a TIE Interceptor, & Groot, The Stunticons:  Motor Master, Wildrider, Dead End, Drag Strip, & Breakdown, The Q Continuum:  Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, & Quinn, Firelord Ozai, Fire Bros. #6, & Mr Poopy Butthole.

Phew....  I got lucky on this one.  I mean, let's face it we have all run out of ways to write The Q Continuum; but this time they are going up against some other Star Trek characters that have dealt with them before.  This should be quick and painless.  Basically, Data got the mad think skills and can run with the Q Continuum pretty solid, plus Scotty's tech skills is mad sick.  So, with Uhura flying the Tank-icopter they perfectly rig up a power beam to blast at them that can take out their omnipotent forms.  This was of course a suicide mission as it would simply be terrible if a Watcher of my caliber did not hand out some sort of point based retribution for the huge amount of talent lost to the guardians in this opening match sequence.  So, not only do the Star Trek dorks die in this massive cosmic blast that has made the already jacked up Bludhaven look like Detroit; but also destroyed in the explosion was........  Well, let's see here, who else don't I feel like writing today....??.....  Let's go with ............  Lex Luthor, Zombie Red Lantern, and Nick Fury, even though I will give Old Man Parks some mad props for assigning a red lantern ring to someone based solely on nomenclature.  

The Guardians of the Red Garter Galaxy know that they just lost some serious fire power; so Starlord takes charge and comes over the team com from his TIE Interceptor saying:  "Alright turds, it's time to win one for the Quiller.  Now Stunticons, MERGE TO FORM MENASOR"!!

But Menasor responds:  "Uhhhhhh..  We already did that boss".

"They already did that Quill, pay attention you idiot".  Rocket yells over the com.

Gamora sighs saying:  "PETER they already merged.  That was basically the first thing they did when the match started.  They already broke a bunch of buildings and stuff".

"I cannot believe anyone still did not know that the Stunticons had merged to form Menasor.  It was a very eventful moment".  Says Drax dryly.

"I am Groot".

The Stunticons and The Ginyu Force are in a pitched battle (shout out Becks); but even though they do be boxin (shout out Phrunk); we'll come back to that later.

Galvatron has managed to blast Rocket out of the sky; while Robin with the top mounted cannon on the Batmobile has done the same to Starlord; but both Guardians have ejected and used their jetpacks to make it back down to the city where the battle is really heating up.  

Mr. Poopy Butthole hitched a ride with The Beast and Belle in their classic, cherry 1989 Chevy Cavalier with almost no rust and perfectly good brakes, but he got poop all over the Beast causing a grotesque infection; so Belle tried to eat the poop out of his fur to show her love; but it was hella gross and then they all died of dysentary.

Ozai bends some serious fire at Booster Gold turning him into Booster Brown (probably could have used that joke with Mr. Poopy Butthole too, but he is already dead).  Lestat and Lady Dimetrescu and Lestat are now the hottest couple in the hip world of vampires.  They are kind of a strange looking pair because of the height difference; but honestly not much worse than when Tom Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman.  Ozai continues his crazed fire bending and is putting up a great fight against both of them, especially with his ride or die Homie Fire Bros. #6 backing him up.  Ozai sends out a huge burst and burns Lestat to a crisp, infuriating Dimetrescu, who takes off her 38ZZZ sized bra and strangles Ozai with it.  Fire Bros. #6, focuses the rest at the one who just killed his beloved Firelord and takes out the large beauty but can not sustain the power and burns up with her.  

Black Goku didn't make it to the fight as he was pulled over by police on the way there.  After it was discovered there was an issue with his license plate.  He tried to explain that his life mattered and that he was no different than regular Goku; but the police were not having it and continued the search.  Black Goku then reportedly was reaching for the Officer's taser when he was gunned down.  

The Guardians of the Galaxy regroup and combine their powers to defeat the Vampire and Black Lantern Red Lanterns; but are soon met by Galvatron, Skeletor, Darth Nihilus, & Robin.  Drax and Groot are able to team up and overpower Skeletor with brute force; but Drax does not survive the encounter after he is sliced in two by the dark half of the Power Sword.  Gamora is able to outmaneuver Lord Nihilus and narrowly escape his insta-kill.  She catches him with a laser blast/sword combo to the back of the neck to take him out; but Robin comes from behind with a similar move and finishes off the daughter of Thanos with his birdarangs.  Robin is then attacked by the infuriated Star Lord; but his moves fall short of the Batman sidekick as well.  Rocket and Groot attempt to formulate a plan to end this before they lose more people; but once Galvatron turns into his cannon form it is too late for the duo.  They are vaporized by the energon cannon of the Decepticon Leader.

This brings us to the pitched battle we left earlier.  The Ginyu Force has suffered casualties; but have managed to break apart the massive Gestalt known as Menasor.  Only Capt. Ginyu, Recoome, and Guldo survived the battle; but once the heavily damaged Stunticons were broke back apart the three remaining Ginyu Force Members were able to defeat them.