Week 9 Of This Season - Gentle Boiz vs. Strident Gum: The Sitcom

The Gentlemens is Superboy with a Blue Lantern Ring.

The Striddlers are Morg with a Red Lantern Ring, and John Wick with a Yellow Lantern Ring.

There is no cold open; the jaunty melodica intro music plays immediately, setting the campy and light-hearted tone of the match early so you don't get caught off guard.

Superboy is hunched over a desk at his day job. His awkward haircut, nerd glasses, and mustard-color shirt are the trademarks of his secret identity, Small Clark Kent. As he tries to work, a bullet bounces off of him, a mild but startling annoyance. He looks around... where did it come from? He warily turns back to his work. Moments pass, then again, p'ting, a bullet is crushed against his back and it clinks to the floor. Again he searches, no gunman in sight... until he uses his x-ray vision! Ah ha! A giggling John Wick crouches behind the secretary's desk. "I've got you, John, this was your FINAL. PRANK." He shoots a quick and efficient burst of laser beam from his eyes to John's snickering skull. The others in The Office shoot uneasy looks in the direction of the conflict before remembering how little they get paid to be making things like this their problem. The elevator open and Morg from the Warehouse enters. His jaw drops when he sees John's smoking neck-hole where his head one was. "Hoooly SH**, John?!" he looks to the very poorly disguised Superboy and the situation dawns on him. "Small Clark, what the hell man?! I know John was messing with you but that doesn't mean you can melt his head! We were about to go to Jamba Juice and split a free smoothie from his reward card. I don't know his account number! Now I gotta pay for my own damn smoothie!" Superboy glowers and walks up to Morg's face, invading his personal bubble without social awareness. "Morg, he brought a gun to the workplace. Do you know how many ways you can kill a man with a gun?" Morg's face twists with puzzlement. "Like, one? Shoot him?" Superboy quickly raises all but his thumb and pinky. "Three. One, shoot him. Two, hit him over the head. Three, put the barrel in his throat and his gag reflex activates, pulling the gun further in and choking him to death." Superboy cocks his head with a smug smile before turning to return to his desk. "Now if you'll excuse me, some of us are trying to get some work done. This is a workplace, Morg, or do you and your homies in the warehouse not do work down there?" Morg is bewildered. "Dude, what? Aw hell no." Ah he approaches with violent intent, Superboy fumbles around his desk "Where's my stapler?" He rummages through the top drawer, nothing. He opens the bottom drawer... his filing folders have been removed. Jell-O. He pulls the jiggling dessert mold from the drawer to find his stapler encased within. A note sits on the platter. "Your favorite - green kryptonite Jell-O.  -XOXO JOHN ;)" A withering Superboy turns to the camera and does the face.