Better Than All of You Vs. George Washington's Slaves

Better Than All of You is (Honorary Team Captain) The Macho Man Randy Savage, Quasar, Rogue, Orco, John Rambo, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Gandalf the White, Gwar: Oderus Urungus (w/ red lightsaber), Balsac the Jaws of Death (w/ a green lightsaber), Beefcake the Mighty (w/ a blue lightsaber), and Jizmack da Gusha, Lonestar and Astro Droid #17 (RVD-1) in a Naboo Starfighter, Zombie Venom, Predator #6-11, Lex Luthor, Batman Beyond, N.S.-5 #1-6, Flash, Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson and Damien Wayne), Batman (Jean Paul Valley), Army Soldier #1, Cobra Viper #49, Red Wing in a Cybertronian Spaceship, Zombie Parasite, Yellow Lantern #1, and Cobra Commander.

George Washington's Slaves are Yoda (w/ a green lantern ring) and Kybuck, Black Lantern Darkseid, Black Lantern Hal Jordan, Savage Opress (w/ a red lantern ring), Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao, Sauron, Cade Skywalker, Sypho Dyas, Amazo, Scorpion (w/ a red lightsaber and Heat Axe), Jedi Master #2, and 1A-19A, Wedge Antilles in a Z-95 Headhunter, Hound (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership, AKA: Houndimus Prime), Sarumon, Zillius Zox, Nolan Ryan, Ultra Man, Doppleganger, B-dg, Kyle Catarn, Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #7, and Bart Simpson (w/ a Sith Lavarouk).


With a lack of water-power, desert-power, or large army force, for either team; this year one re-match is primarily located in the jungle and city regions, with a few characters from both squads in and out of the easily penetrated atmosphere. The last transmission before radio silence over the Better Than All of You Comlink is as follows: “Ooooooh yeah, this is your captain speaking, The Macho Man Randy Savage. Are you ready to snap it to a Slave? Or am I gonna have to tear this whole team limb from limb all by myself? DIG IT“! This is the first ever play-off appearance for Rogue and Quasar, who along with Orco were traded to The Betters from The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets the night before The Season Four Draft. Rogue and Quasar had been part of that franchise since day one, and still hold a bit of animosity towards the team for trading two of their franchise players away right before the team had their first good season ever. Orco on the other hand, never even got to try on his Midget uniform, as he was separated from He-Man and Battle Cat, almost immediately after being traded from TEAM. “Cheer up Rogue, at least we are in the play-offs” Quasar says to his teammate. Rogue replies: “yeah, but it would be just our luck that we would get traded away from The Midgets the first year ever that they actually finished better than Better Than All of You. Not to mention, that rumor has it that this team’s management actually forgot that we were on the roster for most of the season... I mean who does that? We are two, err, I mean three of the best players on the team, sorry Orco, I forgot you were here”. “No problem Rogue, I’m just glad I’m in the fight, TEAM usually made me ride the bench, while He-Man did all the heavy lifting”. Orco says in retort. Just when the conversation, is about to get really interesting the battle begins to truly heat up. Cade Skywalker rushes into the scene with his granddaughter Kol and her padawan Shado Vao in tow. Cade fries Orco with a quick blaster bolt before all three force users draw their lightsabers. Quasar manages to avenge his little magician teammate by disintegrating Cade with his quantum bands, while Rogue quickly puts a hole through the chest of Shado and then grabs a hold of Kol sucking her force powers and life force out of her body until they are her own. Sypho Dyas rushes in with his lightsaber drawn, but before The Jedi Councilmember can use it, he is caught from an arrow shot out of the nearby tree from Rambo. Rambo goes to grab another arrow from his quiver, but before he can Amazo uses his android created green lantern ring to send Rambo to the big foxhole in the sky. Yoda rushes through the foliage atop Kybuck and attempts to take out the entire N.S.-5 force. Yoda slices #3 in half, but he is soon knocked off of his two legged steed by the remaining five. Kybuck manages to head-butt N.S.-5 #1 to death but then his fellow robot (#4) breaks the neck of Kybuck. Yoda then protects himself with a green energy aura as he spin attacks his way through the last four N.S.-5’s. The six Predators are stealthily moving through the forest when the last two get slightly off the beaten path. Jedi Master #2 leaps out of the bushes in which he was hiding and lays waste to both Predator #10 and 11. The seasoned Jedi is about to move towards the four remaining Predators when he is confronted by a kind of Madness that he has never before witnessed. “Oooooh yeah, say hi to Elizabeth for me... Dig it”!! The Macho Man says as he crushes The Jedi Master’s skull with a steel chair. Bart Simpson provides cover from a tree, while Zillius Zox leads his fellow Slaves Nolan Ryan and Scorpion in against the cosmic powered and heavily armored members of Gwar, who are leading Zombie Venom around on an evil space leash. Zillius Zox goes in for the kill, but underestimates the latent speed remaining in the dead body of Venom. Venom grabs a hold of Zox with his Symbiote suit and then begins to rip him apart with his teeth. Scorpion pushes pack the Betters mini-squad by using his Heat Axe to cast Blaze 2 and then lops off the head of Zombie Venom with his red lightsaber, he then does the same to Gwar‘s leader Oderus, before the bane of Techno Destructo can draw his own crimson laser blade. Balsac the Jaws of Death then uses his green lightsaber in the same manner to “finish” off Scorpion. Nolan Ryan picks up a rock from the forested ground and throws it at the mouth of Balsac at 110 miles an hour to concuss the Gwar member out of existence. Jizmack then decides to kill Nolan in a way that only Griffatu can properly explain while Bart Simpson uses his Sith Lavarouk to slice off the heads of both Beefcake and Jizmack with the razor sharp blades of his lavarouk. Red Wing is attempting to reenter the atmosphere in his Cybertronian Spaceship when his ship is targeted by the missiles of Ultra Man. It only takes one projectile from Ultra Man to completely blow up the ship but Red Wing is able to eject and then use his Motor City Powered engine to push him through the atmosphere and back on to the Play-off Planet with only a minimal amount of hull burning. While Ultra Man is busy targeting space enemies, he is confronted by his greatest fear (or at least Ray Stanz’s greatest fear) when The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man uses his marshmallow hard hands to crush Ultra Man in to Jet Jaguar sized proportions and throw the shrapnel at B-dg and Amazo. Houndimus Prime then transforms into his robot form while driving down the Metropolitan area and uses Optimus’ old hand cannon to melt Stay Puft in to gooey goodness. Houndimus then transforms back into his extended Jeep form and allows Savage Opress and Doppleganger to hop in while they kick it in to four wheel drive and begin trouncing there way in to the jungle. The Autobot leader, Spidey clone, and Sith wannabe are brought to a quick halt, when they are confronted by Batman, Batman, Batman, and Robin. Even with their superior numbers and Dick Grayson’s mastery of his green power ring, the Bruce Wayne trainees find themselves outmatched by Houndimus’ unlikely trio. Houndimus manages to break through the power of Grayson’s green aura and crush the human, while Savage Opress uses his red power ring to kill Damien Wayne and his red lightsaber to kill Valley. Doppleganger misses his initial attack on Batman Beyond, which allows the young man to open up his wings and uses his high tech Wayne Industries Gear to blast hole right through the spark of Houndimus. Houndimus falls, but Doppleganger is then able to leap on to the back of Batman Beyond and use his four powerful arms to break his neck. The Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen has been taught many maneuvers to be faster than even the peak humans, but he is not fast enough to keep up with the Flash who vibrates right through his chiseled physique. Flash never lets up but makes one quick error as he catches the lightsaber of Kyle Catarn in the chest while making a lightning fast turn. Sarumon reveals himself from behind an immense tree, and in doing so magically destroys the cloaking capabilities of the four remaining Predators and reveals them as well. Sarumon defends himself well against the four Predators and manages to evade every attack they make. The four Predators are unable to break Sarumon’s defenses but at the same time, their ability to work as a team is unmatched by anything that Sarumon has ever seen in his many centuries on Middle earth. Sarumon manages to cast a spell, which rips apart the internal organs of the Predator’s but what the White Wizard does not realize is that while he is killing off the alien hunters, the Predator’s blades which he thought missed their targets are racing back towards the head of Sarumon, as the Predator’s die the alien boomerang blades remove the head of Sarumon. Not to mention that the emergency detonators within the Predators go off on their death and take out the nearby Bart Simpson and Savage Opress as well. The 19 Jedi Masters, who have been raised since they were mere Younglings drafted by The Slaves in Year 1 move in against Red Wing and use their superior numbers to trump his superior size. Only three young masters die in the melee between the NHL-Marvel Creation. Lex Luthor then draws them over to the city debris to begin a new battle, but it is actually just a hologram created by his suit. Once the Jedi are all pulled in close with one another, Luthor gives the order and Lonestar targets them with proton torpedoes from his Naboo Starfighter. Kyle Catarn rushes the real Luthor, but the world’s greatest criminal mind manages to deflect his lightsaber attacks and then crush his skull with his suit heightened strength. Lonestar is making a swing around some of the larger buildings when he finds himself locked in an intense dogfight with Wedge Antilles. Wedge is enjoying being back in the cockpit of a Z-95 Headhunter, the very ship he learned to fly in back when he was in his youth on Alderaan. Lonestar and his droid handle their Nubian ship well, but the Schwartz can not provide the flying skills he needs to defeat Wedge, who blasts him out of the sky. Doppleganger rushes at Cobra Viper #49 and Army Soldier #1, but the two Better Commons manage to pull out their rifles and actually prove that super-powers sometimes just can’t beat bullets. The soldier and the Viper hit each other with a hellacious fist bump, just before they are crushed by the mace of Sauron. Sauron is then confronted by the team of Lex Luthor, Zombie Parasite, Yellow Lantern #1, and Cobra Commander; while The Black Lantern Duo of Hal Jordan and Darkseid are teaming up on Gandalf. While these fierce battles are raging deep within the forest, Rogue and Quasar have managed to chase down Wedge’s Z-95 and finally put the Rebel Pilot out of commission. The two former midgets believe that they are safe until the chasers become the chased as Yoda, who is airborne with the help of his green lantern ring blasts in to the mix. Sauron crushes Cobra Commander in his gauntlets, and then punches through the yellow aura of Yellow Lantern #1 to kill him as well. Lex Luthor, in a last ditch effort to win this match hits the self destruct on his suit. Luthor hopes that his built in counter-measures will protect him, but once Sauron kicks Lex’s suit it causes an explosion that blows Luthor to pieces. This explosion is not enough to kill Sauron, but it does knock the Dark Lord down to the ground which opens him up to a fierce attack from Zombie Parasite. Zombie Parasite leaps on top of Sauron and sucks the mystical force out of Sauron through the use of his Zombie teeth. Gandalf is taking quite a beating from the two Black Lanterns, especially from Hal Jordan, who seems to be especially nasty in regards to his old team (Better Than All of You of course). Gandalf does not see a way to defeat these two when he sense the ring of Yellow Lantern #1 flying about freely on the battlefield. Gandalf knows all about evil rings and the powers that they can possess, and he summons the “Feared” yellow ring to him. He never grabs the ring himself, but he uses his powers to throw the ring in-between the two black lanterns and then uses his own white magic to blast it apart. This act not only blasts the yellow ring apart, but the two black lanterns as well. Much like Season 1 Round 1 of The Play-offs, Yoda finds himself all alone against the superior numbers of Better Than All of You. Quasar and Rogue have managed to get away from Yoda and rally around their teammate Gandalf. Macho Man with his red lightsaber and rippling muscles at the ready, and even Zombie Parasite gather around the little green Jedi Master as well. Gandalf looks to Rogue and Quasar and says: “If we can get past this formidable foe, I hope that you both can look beyond your misgivings for this team. Many Betters fought their last match this day, and we will need you two to be the future of this franchise”. Yoda does not say a word as he moves against Zombie Parasite first. He lops off the head of the Zombie and then is subdued by the powers of Rogue and Quasar, while Macho Man and Gandalf collectively stab Yoda with Glamdring and Randy’s red lightsaber. Gandalf looks at Quasar and Rogue and says: “It will prove difficult to face The Right Wing in Round Two with all we have lost this week”. Macho Man adds: “Oooh yeah, They say The Right Wing are giants... Dig It”!! Quasar is about to say something solemn when Rogue chimes in with: “Only Midgets fear giants... And we are Better Than All of You”
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!!