season 5 week 1- Better Than All of You vs The Transfoamers

The Transfoamers are:
Black Lantern Darth Bane (9 deaths)
Zam Wesell (9 deaths)
Dr. No
John Cena w/Blue Lantern Ring

Better Than All of You is:
The Rock w/ blue lightsaber
Stone Cold Steve Austin w/blue lightsaber
HHH w/ red lightsaber
Black Lantern Ben Kenobi in a Naboo Star Fighter
Anakin Skywalker’s Spirit in Anakin’s Pod Racer



"You've got to be kidding me" smirks Black Lantern Darth Bane "I didn't know Naboo Star Fighters and podracers even HAD turnsignals"

"You're confused? Why are they going so slow?" adds John Cena hovering above the Tron Grid thanks to his blue lantern ring.

"Look at the pilots, have you ever known an elderly driver to really be able to be a great driver? We better kick these guys asses fast before the earlybird dinner specials start at 4" sneers Dr No.

It seems that the Better Than All of You team has made a tactical error in starting the spirit of Anakin along side Black Lantern Ben Kenobi, as Anakin's spirit has not taken the form of the younger Anakin, like in the rerelease of the Star Wars movies, but of the old Anakin like in the originals. This is due to the fact that BL Ben is the elderly version of Obi Wan, so when Anakin's spirit began to form, it recognized Kenbi's elderly frame and shifted it own age accordingly.

"F**K this. It's TIME TO F***IN' DIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" screamed Darth Bane who took off like a shot and immediately destroyed both vehicles. The black ring of Ben Kenobi began to slowly reform the elderly Jedi, but the spirit of Anakin was not so lucky. Darth Bane used his Sith powers to disrupt the Force and completely dissipate Anakin's Spirit. Making him just another victim to the Sith powerhouse. He then whirls around as the ring finishes reforming Kenbi and the two black lanterns begin a heated battle.

"Well, what a delicious start to the seas-DURRR I MAKE A DOODY IN MAH PANTS" says Dr No.

"Doc, what happened? Are you ok?" exclaimed John Cena, totally confused as to how the brilliant doctor is now about as smart as an eggplant.

"I happened, Cena. I assassinated his cerebral functions. Now I just gotta finish the job" says Triple H, making his presence felt. As he rushes to finish the brain dead doctor, the doctor of Thuganomics. Cuts him off and sends him crashing into the side.

"Yo. Little help here, Wessell? Remember what I told you? It's time to execute the plan" and with that the shapeshifting bounty hunter begins to shift into a form that fills Trips with dread.

Zam Wessell is now The Undertaker.

Triple H begins to seethe, fires up his red lightsaber and charges the faux Deadman. Wesselltaker smiles and just as smoothly as Han shot Greedo, puts a phaser blast right between The Game's eyes ending his life.

"YAY!!! I LIKE ICE CREAM" exclaims Dr No.

"Man, I thought these guys were better than all of us." smirks Cena in his usual smirky way

IF YA SMELLLL...

the familiar chorus of the most electrifying theme music in sports entertainment fills the Tron Grid as the great one, the People's Champ, the captain of Team Bring It!, The Rock appears on the grid.

"S**t." says Cena, then he remembers. The brain dead Dr No is around to fuel Cena's power and make him the bestest good guy who ever lived. Cena looks to Dr No, and winks waiting for Dr No to validate his existence.

"BUTTONS ARE SHINY BUT YOU NO EAT DEM!" says Dr No, oblivious to what's going on

"Close enough" sighs Cena and then yells "YOU CAN'T SEE ME" and vanishes from sight.

Cena then begins a series of cheap shots on the Rock, stunning the Great One, but not quite finishing off the most electrifying man in sports entertainment.

Frustrated, Cena looks to Dr No for encouragement.

"I LOVE THE KARDASHIANS!!! KHLOE IS PRETTIER THAN EVERYONE"

Cena once again catches his wind, but realizes there's no way he can take the Rock on his own. So he grabs the red lightsaber of the fallen Triple H and rockets towards the black lantern battle telling Wesselltaker to "Buy me some time to get some help"

Wesselltaker slowly saunters over, ready to drop the Rock like she did Triple H when suddenly there's the thunderous sound of glass breaking and business begins to pick up.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin has arrived.

Austin immediately charges the Underfaker and gives her a Lou Thez press before she can draw a blaster. He then pulls her to her feet, kicks her in the stomach, and gives her such a Stone Cold Stunner that Wessell's neck breaks and she dies.

As Rock and Austin regroup, Cena uses his blue ring to shackle black lantern Ben Kenobi. As the elderly Jedi is down, Cena uses the lightsaber to stab the black ring as Darth Bane blasts him with Force lightning. Black Lantern Ben Kenobi is finally put down.

"FRIENDS ARE NICE AND FUN!!" yells Dr No trying to warn his teammates that the bionic redneck is now on the scene, but he's then grabbed by the Rock and given such a spinebuster that he dies upon impact.

Rock looks at the fallen corpse of Dr No, kicks the Dr's arm and signals that it's now time for the most electrifying move in sports entertainment and begins to do "The People's Elbow" but instead of throwing his elbow pad, Rock tosses Autin his lightsaber. With each hop over Dr No, Rock's lightsuited form gets larger, and larger. He keeps going constantly building and building more energy, building a larger and larger electrical form. Cena notices this too little, too late and he and Darth Bane charge toward the charged up Dwayne Johnson.

Just as they reach him,the massive Rock drops the elbow and releases the massive build up


FWAAAASHOOOOOOMMMMM.

The release of such a massive amount of electricity ensures that now we really can't see Cena, since he was vaporized in the blast. The black ring of Darth Bane begins to sputter, spark and slowly begin to reform the Sith, until Austin walks up and jams bot h lightsabers into the ring, destroying it and the final member of the Transfoamers.

Oh Hell Yeah.

Better Than All of You: The Rock and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin survive

The Transfoamers: All dead,


BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU IS VICTORIOUS!!!!