Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Season 5 Week 2- The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs The Transfoamers

The Transfoamers are:
The Bloodpack (From Blade II):
Nyssa
Asad
Rheinhardt
Chupa
Snowman
Priest
Verlaine
Lighthammer
Aqualad: Jackson Hyde

Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is:
White Lantern Hal Jordan
Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki
Yellow Ring Guy Gardner (w/ a red lantern ring and Alan Scott's green ring)
Star Sapphire #4
Meriadoc Brandybuck (w/ a blue lantern ring)
Larfleeze (w/ Count Dooku's red lightsaber)
Indigo Lantern #2
Ice Bros. #1-6
Joey Potter
Pacy Witter
Dawson Leery

"Im fuh fuh fuh freezin' Pace" chatters Dawson Leery "Wuh whu why would we be suh suh sent out huh huh here wi wi with nuh nuh nothing to help keep us warm?"

"I'll keep you guys warm, with some CHRONIC HIIIIGGGGGHHHHSSSSS" proclaims Merry Brandybuck soaring by his teammates, oblivious to the cold.

Before the Dawson can respond, his dreamy eyes suddenly explode. Causing Dawson to fall to the ground screaming. Before anyone else can react, There's a huge cracking noise as a giant ice flow smashes into the ground, crushing the six Ice Brothers where they stand.



"Pacey! What's happening?" screams Joey, but Pacey can't answer her, as he's fallen to the ground struggling, every bit of moisture being drained from his body by Jackson Hyde, Aqualad.

"Leave him alo-" begins Joey, but Aqualad simply forms a spike out of Pacey's fluids, which freezes almost immediately, and puts it right through Joey's heart.

"Oooohhhh SSSS***TTTT!!!! What's going on??? Did someone lace my weeeddddd" screams the blue lantern hobbit, his ring now drained of power since his hope of smoking down with the pretty people from the creek are dead. He doesn't even hear that CRACK of the rifle that takes his head of and ends his agony.

"Heh. Where's the slutty blonde?" asks Snowman as he steps over the frozen Creek crew and their dead stoner friend. "I hear she's a nice bit of fun"

"Silence, I fear this was just the beginning of the assault" says Aqualad

Aqualad is correct, for the remaining members of the Brotherhood, repping the rest of emotional spectrum have been watching this entire massacre and begin to plan their next move.

"Comeon guys, let's go kick their asses!" proclaims White Lantern Hal Jordan.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that, Hal" says a voice to Hal

"Whuh. who is this" Hal says

"It is I, your white ring" the voice answers "I am fueled by the power of life, so I'm afraid I can't be used to end a life, that would be detrimental to my very existence. I can help defend your life, but I cannot be used in an aggressive manner"

"Well that sucks" replies Hal "What the f**k am I supposed to do? Just hover here? That's lame."

Hal begins to remove the ring, figuring he'll take his chances powerless when the voice again beckons.

"Wait. I can not only be used to heal ailments, but I can restore the life of any recently fallen comrades. But only 13 times. After 13, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do."

"So, I'm a glorified nursemaid. Perfect." says Hal.

"Rrrrrarrrgggghhhh. Don't need you anyway Jordan" sneers Guy Gardner, who is struggling to keep his concentration with the red ring of rage constantly trying to get Guy to surrender to his rage and go on a rampage. "We can win without you, just get rrready to heal me in case I fff"

suddenly a golfball chunk of ice strikes Guy in the temple. Guy whirls to see who dares to attack him and sees Chupa smirk at him

"Come get some, Lightbright" Chupa sneers

"RrrrraaaRRRggggghhhhh!" shrieks Guy who tears after Chupa. Just as he's about to connect with him. Chupa throws a flash grenade, blinding Guy, and temporarily stunning him.This gives Lighthammer an opportunity to jump on Guy's back and Lighthammer sinks his teeth into Guy's throat. But this doesn't have the desired effect the Bloodpacker wanted. Instead of leading to Guy's death, Lighthammer bursts into flame and dies, the fiery plasma of the red lantern ring burning him up from the inside.

"I got this" says Priest who pulls a wooden stake and drives it through the heart of the still shaken Guy Gardner.

"Come on, we gotta revive Guy" says Hal.

"Patience " says the ring, "Watch."

Hal looks on as Larfleeze and Star Sapphire #4 are held at bay by Aqualad and the remaining Bloodpackers. Aqualad running himself to near exhaustion, having the Bloodpack constantly melt the frozen turf around them so he'll have an unlimited supply of ammunition.

"Nok" says Indigo Lantern #2, who motions for BL Shaun Poteracki to follow. The Indigo Lantern sees the strain the young son of Black Manta is subjecting himself to, pushing himself to the very limit. The Lantern taps into the power of the black ring in the vicinity and eases Jackson's suffering with a simply blast to the head.

With their big gun down, the rest of the Transfoamers are no match for the remaining Midgets and as the battle comes to it's gruesome, chilling end-Hal asks the white ring a question.

"So, I can revive any 13 members of my team in the pursuit of protecting life?"

"Correct, Hal. Any 13" answers the ring

"Then I know just what to do."

Hal flies over to the corpse of Joey Potter, points his ring and brings the cute, spunky brunette back to life.

"GASP!! Huh. What happen?" asks Joey

"Don't worry, baby. Everything's cool. Just come with me, we've got to help protect the miracle of life." smirks Hal, who scoops Joey up and flies off with her ready to see if being a white lantern could be the ultimate pick up device.

"I think I'm gonna like this ring." Hal thinks to himself

10 comments:

Krisatu said...

The Transfoamers: All Dead

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Larafleeze, Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki, Indigo Lantern #2, Star Sapphire #4, White Lantern Hal Jordan and Joey Potter survive.


THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!!!!

Ryan said...

Hahaha. Hilarious ending. Nice job.

Artifact said...

I would have revived her too. Good one, Hal.

Nice match, Chris. Good job.

- Z

NFG mike said...

you've probably defined the white ring better than DC has at this point. hal should have a pretty sweet harem by the end of this season.

Krisatu said...

Thanks, NFG Mike. Very kind of you to say.

Josh the Commish said...

Cool match Chris!! 2 and 0 BABY!!

Solobeck said...

GREAT MATCH!
-Becks

Ryan said...

Cliff Clavin got the Flamethrower.

Lickolas said...

Holy crap dude, that was hilarious. The end of the match was killer, it had me cheering out loud.

Nice win Josh, looks like the loser from last year is showing the league he's not going down without a fight.

Josh the Commish said...

Thanks Nick. And Rob, it's a bummer that you have had such a rough start. I hope you have better luck with the rest of the season.