“Out there is a new world! Out there is our victory! Out there is our destiny!”
-CLU
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 1 Match located in the Grid from Tron Legacy. They are as follows:
Horsemen of Apokolips: Hal Jordan Parallax with two green lantern rings, Sinestro's yellow ring, a red ring and Star Sapphire ring; Kitty Pryde; and Glass Joe with a Heat Axe.
George Washington’s Slaves: CLU on light bike 1; Rinzler; Castor on light bike 2; Gem on light bike 3 and Kol Skywalker.
Let the battle begin. . .
The arrogance of Hal Jordan Parallax (hereinafter “HJP”) is seen early on in the match as the
entity-imbibed character flies above the field.
HJP: I will not waste my time with such as those I see from the Slaves who are well beneath my station in this League.
CLU, Castor and Gem rev their respective light bikes, focused on Glass Joe.
Glass Joe: Bonjour, bonjour! Je suis Glass Joe! Ha-ha! [Hello, hello! I am Glass Joe! Ha-ha!]
The three Tron warriors look at the Frenchman.
Glass Joe: Je viens te chercher! [I'm coming to get you!]
The three look at each other as the Frenchman slowly walks toward the bikes.
Glass Joe: Hé! Hé! Vive la France! [Hey, hey! Long live France!]
Castor: Now you’ve gone too far!
The three light bikes spring to life and barrel over the Tyson warrior’s stomach, one after the
other, in a well-precisioned display.
Glass Joe: Ma tête est en plein forme, mais mon estomac est en bouillie! [My head is in top
shape, but my gut hurts!]
Glass Joe is on the ground, clutching his middle. The bikers ride to the combatant and hover over him.
Glass Joe: Mon docteur a déclaré... que tu es mauvais pour ma santé. [My doctor declared...
that you are bad for my health.]
Gem lifts her bike’s front a few feet from the floor. The wheel smashes down on Glass Joe’s face and splits his skull open. As his life force drains from his body, his whisper is heard.
Glass Joe: Hey! Hey! Liberté! [Hey! Hey! Freedom!]
Kitty Pride: Why don’t you pick on someone besides a poor Frenchman?!?! Haven’t you seen “The Artist”?!?! Don’t the French now deserve our respect?!?!
The bikers all shake their heads at the same time and turn their light bikes in her direction. The vehicles race at the X-man, but before they can make contact with her, she phases. The three vehicles careen as they turn toward her again. She anticipates the Tron figures and, now solid, readies herself to phase again. The bikes speed toward her and like a matador with a frenzied bull in her wake, Pryde phases at the exact moment of probably impact. The bikes turn. Pryde, in solid form now, tries to figure out how to best the bikers. As she turns, she looks down to see a lightsaber through her torso. Kol Skywalker is holding the blade.
Kol Skywalker: You should have held your ghost form a bit longer little one.
Pryde crumples in Skywalker’s arms. Skywalker jogs away.
HJP: It is time. . .
HJP flies to the scene and unleashes his powers upon the bikers. His green, yellow and red rings spring to life and rip the bikers from their vehicles. The combatants manage to land safely and face their enemy. As HJP is about to discharge a barrage of multi-colored projectiles, he feels his hands being sliced from his arms. HJP looks down to see the disks flying toward his enemy, while his hands drop to the floor at the feet of Rinzler. HJP screams in agony and the Parallax entity rips from his body, killing CLU, Castor and Gem. Rinzler unleashes his disks again. This time HJP is ready and the disks explode when they meet the Parallax force. HJP is focuses on Rinzler and disintegrates the Tronian in front of him. HJP does not notice as Skywalker comes down from a battlefield monument. In one fell swoop, Skywalker slices HJP’s head off. Skywalker looks down at Rinzler who has sacrificed himself in this skirmish. . . but for the price of the Slaves’ first victory of the season.
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15 comments:
Horsemen of Apokolips: All dead.
George Washington’s Slaves: Kol Skywalker survives.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Damn it. Good win Fizzle. I've always had problems winning Week 1.
Man, I really thought that Shadowcat's abilities to completely disrupt computers would have come into play here. Ah well.
Oh...... Pablo is a douche.
Extremely valid point Mr. Poteracki! I actually had a somewhat different scenario based upon this issue. Nonetheless, I ultimately determined, in my humble opinion only, that the TRON "computer/universe" itself would not be as susceptible to this ability of Ms. Pryde and thus, decided to go in a different direction. Know you lost, but hope that you at least enjoyed and could understand/stomach the match. -Becks
p.s.: Not fair to hit a penguin when he's just newly out of rehab. . .
Nah, I had a feeling I was walking into a butt whooping. It's cool.
F U Pablo. Not believing this "clean" crap for a second.
Who the f**k is Pablo.
Pablo is a character from the Nickelodeon kid's show "The Backyardigans". He's a penguin and has a long history with substance abuse.
I'd like to believe that he's finally clean this time, but time will tell.
Awesome match, Ry. You fought like a champion... Minus the whole winning thing.
Good watching, Bryan. Great writing as usual.
-Z
Wow! Didn't see that coming.
Ryan, you do seem to have a problem with Week 1 matches. I'm sure as the commish you can "find a way" to win the next 8.
Nolan Ryan got the Tron Light Suit and Light Disc.
Awesome match. I hear Nolan can throw a light disc like a sombitch. Should be entertaining!
Hopefully it still fits him. The 2012 Nolan is a bit thicker than the 1992 Nolan.
And I also hope the pits are vented in the Tron suit. Seriously dude. You are president of a baseball team in Texas. The days get warm. You have to notice those giant balonga slices under your arms.
He always does, Ed.
Haha. I was picturing an in his prime Nolan Ryan ripping the light disc at 100+ mph across the battlefield.
i dont know if the phasing shouldve killed the people, but i think its fair to say that the bikes would be trashed. good stuff either way. -NFG mike
Good win Chris, our division is already heating up for a killer finish.
Good stuff as usual Bryatu.
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