Consolation 2012 Round 1- Better Than All of You vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad

Better Than All of You:

NS-5 #12 (9 deathes)
Diego (9 deathes)
Baby Jaguar (9 deathes)
Doozer #15

Xavier's Annihilation Squad:

B.L. Josh Houslander
Heather Doba
Robin-Jason Todd
Roger Rabbit
Jessica Rabbit


As the two teams eye each other other across the ballpit and prepare for the opening round of the conso-

"Dude. Kristua Hold up"

"What the hell? Is someone talking to me?"

"Yeah, bro. Right here. It's me. Josh."

"Uh. This is kinda odd, I don't think contestants are supposed to acknowledge or be aware of the Watchers"

"Dude. I'm a Watcher, too. Listen, this deathmatch in a ballpit? Great idea, but not really fair."

"How so?"

"Dude. Look at these line up. No one on Better is gonna kill me. No green energy."

"Yeah, but they've got three nine deathers. That could turn the tables."

"Yeah. No. Come on, bro. I know how this is gonna go. I'm gonna be the sole survivor. You really want to follow the epic death of Dora  last week by having to kill Diego in a consolation match? Plus NFG rolled out my wife. You really feel comfortable killing her? That's not what bros do."

"But Mike played her. You should take that up with him, I'm just doing my job."

"Just doing your job? That's a bitch excuse. Come on. Do me a solid. You're creative. Shake this up."

"Fine. How about this. I'll toss a special ball into the pit. First one to get it out of the pit wins, kinda like the ladder matches in last year's consolation round. That way no one has to die. Cool?"

"Cool. Thanks dude"

lation matches. Since this is now essentially a treasure hunt, the ballpit has gone from regular Kiddie Land size to the size of an Olympic pool and is about two feet deep.  Both teams watch as the prized draft ball is lowered into the ball pit. There's a sudden rumbling as the balls are mixed up. There's a blast of an air horn and  for the most part, both squads jump into the pit and begin frantically scrambling to find the prize. Only Xavier's member Heather Doba remains on the sidelines watching the match, for her own protection.

Jessica Rabbit grabs her husband Roger like a vacuum and uses him to suck up as many balls as they can, but have no luck. Diego has converted rescue pack into a shovel, but also is coming up short. Baby Jaguar never really learned his colors, so he's essentially useless for this task, but the NS-5 is quickly scanning all of the balls that Diego shovels for the elusive golden ball. Black Lantern Josh is doing a sort of doggy paddle in the massive ballpit. This is quite possibly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. The roar of frantic ball searching is everywhere.

Suddenly, there's a tiny cry.

"I got it. I found it!!"

It's the Doozer. The NS-5 quickly finds it's teammate and lifts it. They rush towards the goal line.

Suddenly, the  NS-5 disappears. There's a brief commotion then a voice rings out

"Here, babe. CATCH!"

Black Lantern Josh pops up out of the pit and tosses the golden ball to Heather who catches the blood stained prize?  Hold it.

"What the hell? Josh! I thought we agreed there'd be no deaths! What the f**k was that??!!!"

"Bro, we said no one HAS  to die, not no one couldn't die. Whatever it takes."

"Dude, weak. That was a s**t way for the NS-5 to go out."

"Relax. I didn't kill him. He's still alive. I just crushed the Doozer.  The robot is still there for Joe to use."

"Whatever, man. I can't believe you'd do that."

"What do you expect? I'm a black lantern. I do assholey things. I'd say sorry, but I'm not. Now go on and make the announcement."