Slaves Vs. Commandos (Nuff Said)

George Washington's Slaves are Head Coach George Washington (w/ a green lightsaber and Gemstone Kryptonite), General Manager William Jefferson Clinton (w/ a green lightsaber), Yoda (w/ a green lantern ring), Martian Manhunter, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Shaak Ti (w/ a green lantern ring and an indigo lantern ring), Black Lantern Darkseid, and Zombie Chewbacca.

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana and “To Bad Everybody in America isn't Gay, Cause I Would Win in a Landslide” President Barack Obama's “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos are (Kingdom Come) Superman, (Earth 2) Superman, Dora the Explorer (w/ 2 green lightsabers and a jetpack), Benny, Isa, and Tico, Katniss Everdeen (w/ a green lantern ring), Norma Cenva (w/ a green lantern ring), White Lantern Deadman, (movie) Jetfire (w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring), John Adams on a horse, and Thomas Jefferson.


**48 Hours before the match, there was an emergency meeting of The Mount Vernon Jedi Council. This Council consists of: Senior Jedis Yoda and Shaak Ti, as well as Kyle Catarn, Coleman Kcaj, Cade Skywalker, Agen Kolar, Sypho Dyas, Kol Skywalker, Jedi Master #2 and #3, and Jedi Master #1C (who was at one time Jedi Youngling #1). Santa Claus' seat on this High Council has yet to be filled officially, but Shintor Beerus has been sitting in on the meetings, much like he is on this one. “I think we have finally achieved the power we have been attempting to harness Master Yoda”. Shaak Ti says. It was not easy but with the help of the spirit that we know resides within him speaking to us, it was always a worthwhile goal”. Cade Skywalker adds. “Unsure of this task, I am”. Says Yoda. Master Jack (Jedi Master #1C) says: “If the members of this council were willing to use their various lantern powers as well as our force powers, than it is almost certain that we will be successful”. “NO” says Yoda. He finishes: “Discussed this we already have. If this is to be done, than we shall do it by the will of the force alone... Our Lantern Rings we will not use”. With this final statement made by Yoda, the 12 Jedi Masters all focus on the sedated body in front of them. They do their best to link minds with the mind that they believe to still be trapped within the body. As an hour of meditation passes, the trance breaks, and the body they are centered around sits up in a rapid motion. Yoda speaks to it first: “Master Mundi, my old padawan... A zombie are you still”?? Ki Adi Mundi speaks: “Well, my fellow Jedi, it seems that you have cured me of my undead ailment; but I must stress my disappointment in the fact that you have filled my spot on this council”. Shintor Beerus speaks up first: “I assure you Master Mundi, that I am not yet a permanent member, and that I will gladly give up my seat for a man of such a rich history with our humble team. Plus, I am sorry to say that soon enough, there will be plenty of open spots”...



**2 Days later at The Rose Bowl**


Here we are, in Pasadena, California; for what has been described as one of the most anticipated Fantasy Fantasy Matches, in the history of the sport. Two great teams have been assembled by two great teams. George Washington's Slaves are on the brink of not having a post season for the first time in franchise history, while The Commandos are one game away from the coveted “perfect season”. Only one team in FFL History has ever gotten this close to perfection, and that team was Xavier's Annihilation Squad in Season 3, who ended up being stopped in the last week of the year, by none other than The Commandos.

The two squads begin in the two opposing end zones and instantly start running towards one another. There is no place to hide in this battle, and both of these teams are anxious to secure a victory. They have both played characters here today, that their fans are finding questionable; but this here is what Fantasy Fantasy is all about. It has been talked about and debated all week; but we finally see who George Washington's Slaves namesake has decided to let use the unusual form of Kryptonite that the team possesses. George Washington ignites his green lightsaber to prepare and win the day for his team, on his own if need be a grabs the Gemstone Kryptonite that he has on a chain wrapped around his neck. Washington surprisingly tosses the rock to Martian Manhunter. Manhunter has a storied past, fighting for the Slaves ever since year 1. He was an original starter for the team that we haven't seen much of in the last few years. He has been both highly praised and highly criticized for matches he has had in the past; and shockingly has even been accused of not receiving “the proper love” from “certain Watchers” (imagine that). He is also: other than Yoda, the top draft pick left on this team. Yoda was the first ever pick by The Slaves, but Manhunter was #4. In fact the only characters on this Slaves Squad who haven't been on the team since year one are Black Lantern Darkseid and Zombie Chewbacca. The original version of Darkseid was the second round pick of The Horsemen of Apokolips in year one and has probably had more matches going up against Superman than any character in FFL History. The original version of Chewie on the other hand was a first round draft pick in Season 1 as well, by the now defunct Built Ford Tough.

Manhunter catches the Gemstone Kryptonite, as he hears Head Coach Washington say to him: “It's up to you to do this on your own J'onn. We can't spare any help for you, now take this one opportunity to prove your true worth”. With these words, J'onn J'onzz puts the kryptonite around his own neck and rushes in to pick a fight with (Kingdom Come) Superman himself. Arguably the most powerful character on this undefeated Commandos Team, this version of Superman has just recently joined the team after one of the most controversial trades in the history of The FFL. Neither team is truly certain what this version of kryptonite is capable of, but actually it has already been affecting both of the Supermen ever since the beginning of this match. It has made the wishes of the Kryptonians, the wishes of those that they have spoke to as well. This has not had any life-changing effects on the teammates of the two Superman though, because as you can imagine they all already wanted to win this match, just like their Kryptonian allies. So, if anything the Kryptonite has actually helped to slightly enhance the will of The Commandos, not that any of them realize that this is taking place. As Manhunter and Kal El (for now, we will refer to (Kingdom Come Superman as Kal El and (Earth 2 Superman as Kal L) square off with one another, the banter begins: “What is the rock for” Kal El asks of his opponent. “It is to insure that I am stronger than you; not that I need it” J'onzz says in response. Kal El rips the kryptonite off of J'onnz's neck and holds it defiantly in his face to show that it has no effect on him, before he turns and launches it in to the sun. As the two combatants talk smack back in forth, they are punching each other with blows that can single-handedly change the earth's gravitational pull. Kal El swings his heaviest punch yet in the direction of Martian Manhunter but J'onzz is able to duck out of the way in the nick of time. “You may be powerful J'onn, but your strength can't possibly match up with mine” Kal El says to his old friend and Justice League Teammate. “Today I can”. Manhunter says as he trips up Superman and throws him to the ground. J'onn J'onzz then delivers a punch to the face of Superman that sends Manhunter's arm down shoulder deep in to the Rose Bowl Grass, completely crushing the face of Kal El. Jetfire has his orders as well, which are simple. He is to take out the team's coaching staff at all costs. This can't be executed at first, due to the fact that both Washington and Clinton are in to close of range to John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. “You will always be my president”, John Adams says to George Washington, from atop his horse. “More importantly, you will always be MY president, after all it was I whom he appointed to the most coveted cabinet position, immediately after taking office”. Adams retorts: “He didn't need to appoint me to anything, because I was already the Vice-President, and therefore could not hold a cabinet position, just like it does not matter that you wanted a horse for this match, because I was obviously the best choice between the two of us for the job due to my superior riding abilities” (it is true that John Adams was an accomplished rider, who was still horseback riding at age 90). “Nonsense, there is nothing in The Constitution to state that the Vice-President cannot be in the cabinet, and besides I simply didn't want the horse because I did not wish to get my britches dirty“. Says Jefferson. Washington chimes in with: “Well, I sure didn't miss the banter between you two, putting up with being the head coach of 300 plus multi-dimensional characters wasn't quite the headache that my own Vice-President and Secretary of State could cause me on a daily basis”. Slick Willy, the newly appointed General Manager* (*he was formerly the Practice Squad Head Coach, but that position was eliminated under the new administration) attempts to quell the situation by saying: “Hey, I know we are all here to kill each other, but what do you say we go try and find ourselves a couple of black prostitutes to pass the time with? After all, Tommy; I know that we are enemies today, but I am named after you, and besides, we are all presidents here”. “Hmmm, your parents must have been idiots”. Adams says smugly. Luckily for you the reader, this conversation is cut short as Zombie Chewbacca sets his eyes on that delicious looking horse underneath John Adams. The zombie wookie begins eating the flesh of not just John Adams' horse, but of Adams and Jefferson as well. Washington and Clinton back away from their disgusting teammate, which finally gives Jetfire the opening he needs to finish his mission. The old Decepticon does a fly-by and blast them both with some Indigo-powered Cybertronian Weaponry, which is more than enough to take them both out. Although, Washington was actually using himself and Clinton as a bit of a diversion, because there is not one thing about the plan that they did not share with their own field general Yoda before the match. As the field narrows: Benny, Isa, and Tico rush over towards Martian Manhunter in an attempt to avenge their new pal Kal El (despite warnings from Dora to hang back), while Shaak Ti uses her lantern abilities to take to the air after Jetfire. Katniss Everdeen sends an green energy infused arrow in to the head of Zombie Chewbacca to send him back to the graveyard, but Black Lantern Darkseid rips her heart out for a quick snack on his way to do battle with White Lantern Deadman. Kal L and Norma Cenva are both keeping their distance in an attempt to size up Yoda and Ki Adi Mundi, who are returning that mutual respect by hanging back for the moment as well. Black Lantern Darkseid unleashes his omega beams towards Deadman, but Deadman manages to finally unleash the true potential of the White Lantern Ring; which completely wipes this version of Darkseid from this plane of existence. Norma Cenva is attempting to break in to the freshly rejuvenated mind of Ki Adi Mundi; but she is finding it much more difficult than she had originally anticipated. The Jedi Master manages to fight off her mental attacks and does not even break stride as he runs to avenge Black Lantern Darkseid by force-leaping in to the air and driving his lightsaber in to the chest of Deadman. “He may not have always been on the same side as I, but I know what it is like to be “undead”, so thank you for ending the life of our teammate Darkseid, sorry that this is what our only meeting consisted of”. Master Mundi says to the dying Deadman before he turns away to make his mental fight with Norma Cenva a bit more physical. Ki Adi moves quickly towards Norma Cenva, but he finds that her mental attacks are becoming harder and harder to fight off as his proximity to her lessens. It requires all the mental strength he can muster through the force for him to get close enough to throw his lightsaber through the green energy aura (aided by the force of course) of Norma Cenva and in to her chest; but even a Jedi Master of Ki Adi's stature is not able to fight off the full blown mental attack that is unleashed in Cenva's death. This completely fries Master Mundi's brain and sends him to The FFL Graveyard for the second time. Martian Manhunter has been followed all the way back towards the stands by Benny, Isa, and Tico when he makes short work of all three of them. Screams of “NOOOOO” are heard by Dora as Martian Manhunter turns to see his new attacker. Even Shaak Ti and Jetfire; and Yoda and Superman divert their attention for a moment at the sound of the scream. While J'onzz is finishing off Benny (he is the strongest and actually lived through Manhunter's first punch)... Yoda and Superman are just beginning to really begin their fight and are finding it very hard to break through each other's defenses. Shaak Ti on the other hand has gained the upper hand in her air battle with Jetfire. She has used her Indigo ring to, in essence cancel out the Indigo Powers of Jetfire and has landed directly on the back of the Decepticon Jet. Jetfire transforms in to his robot form to fight her off; but not before she manages to drive a wedge into his Cybertronian Metal with her lightsaber. Shaak Ti then uses the power from her green lantern ring to blast a potent bit of energy into the small hole made by her lightsaber which implodes Jetfire from the inside out. This leaves only Superman and Dora left for The Commandos as Shaak Ti flies back down to her fellow Jedi Master Yoda to aid him in his fight. The Slaves were warned to not underestimate any young looking, cute, or smallish characters when battling with The Commandos, in their extensive preparations for the battle against the undefeated squad. They warned them of Katniss Everdeen, Benny, Isa, Tico, Jen Linley, and especially Dora. General Washington made them watch game film after game film of what this little girl was capable of; but she still was just human... Right?? Dora has both of her lightsabers drawn as she rushes towards Martian Manhunter, but the last remaining Martian simply back-hand bats her in to the advertisement-covered stands. Dora hears a loud crack as she hits the wall and realizes that she can't move her left arm. Martian Manhunter, despite the warnings from General Washington is shocked that she lived through that hit, but he was prepared for the unexpected when it came to this one and does not hesitate for a moment to walk over to her and finish the job. Dora pushes herself to her knees and then her feet with her one good arm and says quietly under her breath: Aquello que no me mata me hace fuerte”. Despite having extreme telepathic powers, J'onnz still is not above not completely hearing something that a person speaks audibly; which is what prompts him to say: “What did you say little girl? I feel that after a career such as yours; your last words should be immortalized”. In English, that translates to: ““That which does not kill me makes me stronger”... And people have tried to kill me … many... MANY TIMES”!! With these words, Dora flips her jetpack off of her back with her one good arm and then kicks her lightsaber off of the ground in to her hand. She opens the saber and uses it to cut the fuel cell on her jetpack which ignites an immense flame and sends it directly in to the face of J'onn J'onnz. Dora spins to take cover as she throws the perfectly aimed lightsaber into the face of J'onnz and says “Thanks again for the lightsaber Boots, I think that was its last hurrah”. Dora's clothes are charred and her skin covered in ash as she walks over to the flag pole and slams her shoulder into it to put it back into socket and then picks up her only remaining lightsaber. Dora's backpack with Map are now completely charred and gone, as are her boots and saber that once belonged to her best friend and Monkey Companion. She has seen her last friends Benny, Isa, and Tico murdered before her eyes today and she is writhing in pain. Any one of these things should be more than enough to make a little girl stop running towards this match's last remaining skirmish and stop and cry. But Dora knows as well as those reading this match that there aren't any little girls here. Just one Fantasy Fantasy Soldier... And she's got a God Damn match to win. Dora knows that as she hits the ground running that her teammate Superman is currently outnumbered two to one by two of the most powerful and accomplished Jedis in the history of the force. She wishes she had her jetpack still so she could get there quicker, but the truth is she never much cared for that jetpack. After all, she is an explorer and she belongs on her feet. Superman is doing his best to hold off both Yoda and Shaak Ti by himself but this is proving extremely difficult even for The Man of Steel with the powers of their three lantern rings combining with their exceptional force skills. Kal L shoots a thick beam of Heat Vision towards Shaak Ti who blocks it with her lightsaber, but this leaves Superman open for an attack from Yoda. Yoda is rushing towards Superman with his lightsaber at the ready when he is drop-kicked by Dora a split second before he drives his saber into Superman's back. Superman kicks Yoda out of the way, before he can retaliate towards Dora; but when he turns his attention away from his last remaining teammate for a split second, he doesn't see Shaak Ti approaching. “That's another one I owe you Dora” Says Superman as he turns to see his team's Year 1, Round 67 pick with a lightsaber protruding from her chest. Superman does not hesitate for a second or pay any mind to the single tear dripping down his Kryptonian Face as he grabs Dora's killer and breaks Shaak Ti's back in one fluid motion. Superman turns around at the speed of light, but as he does a small green creature's feet land on chest while a green energy coated lightsaber is driven in to his neck. “Destroyed your perfect season is” says Yoda as he makes...