TEAM Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters

TEAM is Bella Cullen, Leah, Seth, Jane, Felix, The Incredibles: Mr. Incredible, Elati-girl, Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack, Indigo Lantern #2, Yellow Lantern #3-4, Afterlife Alice, Alice, Alice Clone #1-3, Krang, Bloodwynd, Red Devil, Refelctor: Viewfinder, Spyglass, and Spectro, Mirage, Chromedome, Styler, Duncan Idaho Ghola #3, Duke Leto Atreides, Chronos, Battletrap, Apeface & Spasma, Billy Lee, Nova Corps Nathan Storey, Failed Jedi Bran, Tomoe Gozen, King Hiss, and Carlos Chiappe-Soto.

Griswold's Nut-busters are Onslaught, Ziran the Tester, Primus, Doomsday, Hal Jordan, Galactus, The Witch King of Angmar on his Fell Beast, Imhotep, Gotenks, Scarlet Witch, Anak Sanamun, Kanye West, Riddick, Duncan Idaho Ghola #9, Kalder, Major Hawk Masterson, Sgt. Scout Baker, HK-47, Marcus Brunette, Mike Lowry, Ecthelion of the Fountain, Star Sapphire #3, Fantomex, Cluster, Weapon XIII, Gambit, Slym and Red Dayspring, Dazzler, Droid Fighter Ship #15-20, Queen Xenomorph #4-6, Velociraptor #8-15, Green Dragon #6-18, Black Dragon #3-7, 9, 13-14, White Dragon #1-12, and Brass Dragon #1-4.


As Primus and Galactus float high above the Playoff Planet, they converse as if they were old friends. “Have we decided that this league is once again worthy of our interference this day”? Asks Primus.

“Perhaps we should wait to see what transpires at the onset. And then make our decision”. Says Galactus in retort.

The two immortal beings, in an act of uncharacteristic impatience teleport every member of the two squads to the open desert wasteland below them, so they can compete in open battle for them to truly see if this battle is worthy of their interference.

The battle begins with a vengeance:

Bella Cullen rushes at Onslaught with her blood lust raging and Leah, Seth, Felix, and Jane all follow. Though the demented Prof. X makes short work of them with a mix of mental and physical attacks to crush them all.

Mr. Incredible and Elsati-girl, in an attempt to protect their children try and take on Doomsday alone but Elasti-girl is ripped apart and Mr. Incredible crushed within a matters of seconds.

Hal Jordan then uses a massive anvil form of green energy to crush the heartbroken Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack.

Indigo Lantern #2, in a mid-air battle attempts to bring empathy into the lifeforce of The Witch King; but he instead thrusts his Morgul blade into the alien while his fell beast bites his mid-section.

The pair of yellow lanterns from TEAM manage to take out Gotenks, before he can go all super sayan, but Imhotep in the meantime stirs up a massive sandstorm to take them both out.

Alice kills Kanye West by telepathically telling him about how the National Enquirer article was true and that he is not North's real father, while Scarlet Witch does something all mystical to kill regular Alice. Although the more powerful Afterlife version of Alice takes out the mutant with a telepathic powered mega kick to the face.

Riddick and Duncan Idaho jump in to a pitched battle with the three Alice clones (haven't had a Becks shout out since week 1). They each take out one of the clones, before Clone #2 finishes Riddick with about a dozen .40 caliber bullets to the face. Duncan Idaho #9 then catches her with a swift sword thrust from behind.

Krang is easily ripped apart by Kalder and Anak Sanamun, who are naturally having an affair behind Imhotep's back.

Major Hawk Masterson flies in from above and takes aim at Bloodwynd with a significant amount of firepower. Though Bloodwynd is able to easily evade the attacks and then punch his head off with little to no effort.

Red Devil manages to break the neck of Sgt. Scout, after he made the mistake of getting too close and letting the fight turn to a melee one; but HK-47 avenges him with a tossed thermal detonator.

Marcus Brunette and Marcus Brody manage to hilariously swear at each other in an intense fashion while quickly driving a commondeered vehicle, but Reflector, at the end of the day is a trio of giant robots. The decepticon sub-team manages to prove that they can do more than take pictures as they crush the cop buddies new Camaro with them inside.

Ecthelion of the Fountain bravely rushes towards Cromedome with his sword drawn, but he is blasted to goo by Mirage before he gets there.

Star Sapphire #3 gets too close to Styler and ends up joining him in death once the spark implodes from her attack, while right next to them Duncan Idaho Ghola #3 and Fantomex engage in a fast-paced melee scuffle. Fantomex takes aim with double pistols; but the bullets bounce off of Idaho's invisible Holtsman shield. Idaho then goes in for the kill with his hand me down Atreides blade.

Duke Leto Atreides fights bravely with his ceremonial, familial broadsword in hand; but he is outmatched by the likes of a triple team from Cluster, Weapon XIII, and Gambit.

Red Dayspring gains mental control over the Titan Chronos and manages to overload his powerful mind, while Slym provides the cover and protection she requires for the meditation by blasting Battletrap apart.

Apeface and Spasma do everybody a favor by crushing the annoying Dazzler to death; and then manage to take out all six of the Nut-buster droid fighter ships, with only Spasma dying in the battle.

Billy Lee kicks Queen Xenomorph #4 to death and even manages to fight through the pain of the acid blood getting all over him to take out #5 as well; but eventually the Double Dragoner meets his demise at the hands of QX #6.

Nova Corps Nate Storey feels very bad about killing Raptor #8-15, and making them extinct again;but even liberals have to go to war sometimes. Failed Jedi Bran on the other hand only manages to put his old youngling mini-lightsaber through the neck of one of the green dragons after sloppily force leaping onto the back of it. Green Dragon #12 ends up coating Bran in plenty of poison, leaving his old buddy Nate to clean up the mess with standard Nova Corps lasers.

Tomoe Gozen most certainly made the shinto spirits proud as she took out 3 of the acid firing black dragons, but she naturally could not take out everyone of them with nothing more than her katana.

King Hiss goes all snake man on the group of white dragons who are moving awfully slow in the desert climate, and manages to actually strangle all twelve of the smaller-sized dragons with his powerful tentacles.

Carlos: The Peruvian madman pulls out a bazooka and screams “I love my body”!!!! Whilst he takes out two brass dragons with one shot. He is then viciously ripped apart by the other two.

Bloodwynd then calls for his TEAMmates to rally together and make a final push against the Nut busters who now far outnumber them. Only Bloodwynd, Reflector, Mirage, Chromedome, Duncan Idaho #3, Apeface, Nova Corps Nate, and King Hiss remain. They make a big initial push against the dragons and take out several of them, all while Imhotep is killing Kalder and his old lady for their infidelities. Ziran the Tester then decides to make an appearance so Bloodwynd calls his TEAM to form up and take out the Celestial. They potentially could have done it to if Galactus and Primus didn't decide to finally show up right then and blast Bloodwynd and his remaining crew to dust in one combined shot of energy.

“I thought we would not interfere” says Primus to Galactus.

“I felt they earned our help” Galactus replies.