TEAM Vs. Built Ford Tough

TEAM is Unicron, Voltron, Neo-Cymek #1-20, Samus, Nyobi, Cypher, Space Ghost, Jan, Jace, Blip, Galvatron, Iron Hide, (movie) Iron Hide, Mirage, Ultra Magnus, Jazz, Hot Rod, Arcee, War Path, Alpha Trion, Wreck-Gar, Junkeon #11, Sith Lord #6, & Blaster w/ Rewind, Eject, Steeljaw, Ramhorn, Raindance, & Grandslam.

Built Ford Tough is Beta Ray Bill, Capt. Jack Harkness, Power Man, Iron Fist, Star Sapphire, Grapple, Andrew Jackson Libby, The Doctor, John Lennon, Paul Mcartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, Aslan, Wilt, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Ancient Sith Lord #8-13, Mandalorian #1-4, Failed Jedi #1-10, Sardakaur #1-12, The Flaming Carrot, Strong Guy, & Diego w/ Baby Jaguar.


As the 2 teams are transported to the edge of The Milky Way, just past the planet Pluto (yes I still consider it a planet) Beta Ray Bill quickly rallies his troops. “Aye, I realize that we have precious little time to prepare against the power house that awaits us, and that we have few resources to transport our lesser beings but we must form together and move quickly if we are to be victorious”. Fantastic Max replies with “Well, we can handle the transporting of some of the team”. “How do you suppose to handle such a task little beardless one” Beta Ray Bill asks of him. “Like this” Max says as he grabs a hold of a small rock off of the face of the asteroid that the entire Built Ford Tough team is standing on. As he holds up the rock FX spins his ears around and yells “ROCK AND ROLL”. The rock then instantly turns into a huge spaceship which Max, FX, and AB climb into. As Max is climbing in he says to the team: “There is room for some more, come on in”. “Yes” says Bill, “we need the best among us at star ship navigation to come aboard this vessel”. “Well, I guess that means us Chewie” Han says as he and his wookie friend climb aboard. “Aye, I am still a newcomer to the human race, but any man who grows a beard over his whole body must be a worthy warrior indeed”, Beta Ray Bill says as he looks at Chewie. Andrew Jackson Libby: the mathematical genius, and The Time Lord from Gallifrey himself, The Doctor join them on the ship to lend their talents, along with the 3 Dawson’s Creek punks. The ship is about full after that, but Diego says “I will be your wing man amigos”! as he reaches behind his back and pulls out his little row boat, which only has enough room for himself and Baby Jaguar; once inside Diego pushes a button which gives the boat a clear plaz top and small jets for space travel??????? That’s possible right??? (Come on work with me people, show a little imagination). GO DIEGO GO! Aslan the Lion says to Beta Ray Bill: Lead what parts of our team away from here, it will be in your hands to defeat the looming menace that TEAM supposedly has, when in space, I will stay on the asteroid and lead the rest of our forces”. Aslan then says “ROOOAAAAAAR” which prompts Baby Jaguar to go “roooaaaar” fueling the team with pride so Beta Ray Bill says “Aye” and then Chewie was like “AHHHHHH” and Dawson scratched his chin and said “Hmmmm” and Sardakaur #3 burped and then Diego said something that wasn’t in English and all 4 Beatles yelled “Koo Koo Ka Choo”. After that epic conversation came to a close Beta Ray Bill, Fantastic Max’s crew, and Diego & Baby Jaguar fly off together so they can face the looming threat in the distance that is becoming more and more visible as the match goes on. This of course being Jan and Jace…….. No I’m just kidding, it’s Unicron. As Unicron hangs back, patiently waiting to be attacked The Voltron of the Far Universe forms out of its 5 lion parts; and leads his team of Autobots and Galvatron against the asteroid bound Built Ford Toughers. Galvatron, while free-floating in space transforms into his cannon form and targets the asteroid that Aslan’s team has made their home. Capt. Jack Harkness yells for the team to scatter which they do, Built Ford Tough only loses Sardakaur #4 in the attack but the massive blast does break the asteroid into several pieces which separates many members of the team from one another. Star Sapphire flies away, not to retreat but because she sees a looming enemy spaceship in the distance that she believes she could take out on her own if she uses the element of surprise. A dizzied Capt. Jack Harkness looks around the small asteroid fragment that he has found himself on, knowing that his leadership abilities will be needed by whoever is on there with him. He forms up his team of Strong Guy, Iron Fist and Power Man. Jack tells them to be prepared for anything but he then turns to Iron Fist to make a more intimate statement. Jack says: “You know Iron Fist, whatever happens to us in this battle today, I really want you and Luke Cage to know that I really respect you for everything you guys have stood for, for so long. If it weren’t for the 2 of you showing us all in the pages of your comic that it is okay to be gay, I’m not sure that I would have been able to be so open about it myself. You are a true icon to the homosexual and bisexual community; and I simply want you to know how much I appreciate you”. “But were not gay” Iron Fist replies. “Hey man, it’s the 21st century. Plus, after all were in space. It’s okay to admit it now”. “But were not gay” Iron Fist repeats. “Come on friend, now isn’t the time to get nervous. I know how much the 2 of you have been through, and that it must be especially hard being a part of a interracial gay pairing, but that makes you all the more iconic”. Iron Fist this time just nods his head and winks at Jack but Power Man starts to scream “Yo Brother! You do what you want in your spare time but WE AIN’T GAY”! Just then Voltron comes flying in with his sword gleaming in the space sky and brings his weapon down hard on the asteroid blasting it apart and killing Jack, Iron Fist, Power Man, & Strong Guy. The 10 failed Jedi (some of whom have been spending quite a bit of time with the Sith Lords, in the locker room) stand together while Blaster & Mirage land in front of them. The almost Jedi knights ignite their lightsabers with the belief that they should be able to take down the 2 robots despite their major size difference but they become a little less confident when Blaster ejects Rewind, Eject, Steeljaw, Ramhorn, Raindance & Grandslam (the latter 2 instantly form the mini-gestalt Slamdance). The failed Jedi move impulsively toward the Autobots but still with great agility. Failed Jedi #2, 3, & 7 surround Mirage while F.J. #6, 8, & 10 quickly slice up Slamdance, with only #8 not surviving the attack. Blaster blasts F.J. #1 & 9 while Rewind & Eject take out #4 & 5. Mirage falls after taking on many hits from his triple team but he is avenged by Ramhorn and Steeljaw who use their ramming horn and steel jaw to ram and bite Mirage’s attackers to death. FJ #6 & 10 stand alone against the 5 remaining Transformers, but they don’t stand for very long as they can not seem to block the Cybertronian blaster bolts for very long with their lightsabers. The Ancient Sith Lords and Grapple are free-floating on their own rock fragment when they are attacked by all 20 Neo-Cymeks. The 20 battle-armored space ships with human brains target the asteroid with their highly advanced weaponry, instantly taking out Grapple, Darth Taurus, Darth Bronco, and Darth Thunderbird. The remaining 3 Sith Lords leap onto Neo-Cymek #12 and begin slicing away with their lightsabers. Neo-Cymek #12 uses its mechanical claws to grab Darth Ranger, crushing the life out of the Sith Lord, but Darth Focus manages to blast Sith lightning into the cracked cymek shell to short it out and kill its brain. Their victory is not appreciated for very long though, as the explosion of the dead Neo-Cymek, along with the blasts from the other 19 kill both Darth Focus and Darth Mustang. The 11 Sardakaur stand ready as they are attacked by Samus, Nyobi, Cypher, & Darth Fuzzy. Darth Fuzzy ignites his crimson lightsaber and flies angrily into battle, taking out both Sardakaur #5 & 8. The other Sardakaur take note of the Sith’s fighting style and overwhelm him with their numbers, slitting his throat with their Imperial issue knives. Nyobi and Cypher move in together with Nyobi instantly taking out Sardakaur #1 & 3 with some B.A. kung Fu. Cypher uses his glock to take out Sardakaur #12, but Sardakaur #11 uses his shigawire hair strand to slit the computer-enhanced fighter’s throat. Samus turns into a ball and plants some quick bombs to take out Sardakaur #2, while Nyobi kicks the head off of Sardakaur #11, before she is overcome by the attacks of #7, 9, & 10. Samus freeze rays Sardakaur #7 but is knocked to the ground by Sardakaur #9. The Sardakaur are about to gang up on Samus but she shoots 2 of the terror troops (#9 & 10) with her fully charged hand cannon, taking out not only them, but also the frozen Sardakaur #7. Sardakaur #6 dodges this attack and then uses his maula pistol to shoot Samus right between the eyes. Star Sapphire flies up behind Space Ghost’s ship and uses her violet energy powers to blast the roof right off. The 4 tenants of the ship emerge ready to fight but she easily blows away both Jan and Jace. Blip then gets in Star Sapphire’s hair to distract her, which gives the host with the most just enough time to press the middle button on his right arm and heat blast her to death. The Beatles may be known for their many platinum records but they are quickly and easily galvanized as the Decepticon leader blasts all 4 of them with his laser cannon form. The 2 Iron Hides transform into their robot form to do battle with The Flaming Carrot. The Flaming Carrot unleashes his tornado in a can at the 2 Autobots of the same name, but they are able to hold on. The Flaming Carrot then jumps on to the shoulder of (movie) Iron Hide and sticks a plunger on his face. The Carrot then pulls off part of his face and throws his atomic pogo stick in blowing the Transformer apart. An ornery and annoyed (traditional) Iron Hide then blasts the crazy hero with his laser gun. Alpha Trion along with Ultra Magnus and Jazz approach Aslan. The Autobot formerly known as A-3 approaches Aslan and begins conversing in hopes that the 2 of them can come up with a peaceful way out of this battle but they are unsuccessful. As the 2 of them decide that they must do battle Aslan quickly rips apart the old geezer of an Autobot with his teeth and claws. A weepy and whiny Ultra Magnus and Jazz then blast Aslan to pieces in retaliation for destroying their idle. The 4 highly-trained Mandalorians stand ready to do battle on their portion of the asteroid when they all of the sudden become both out-numbered and out-sized. Hot Rod, Arcee, Warpath, Wreck-Gar, & Junkeon #11 all land and instantly begin the attack. Wreck-Gar, riding on top of Junkeon #11 in his motorcycle form smash Mandalorian #1 with his weird looking wheel-axe thing while Warpath in his tank form blows away Mandalorian’s #2 & 4. Mandalorian #3 fires his jet pack and puts up quite a fight but is simply over-powered by the duo of both Arcee and Hot Rod, as Arcee knocks him out of the air and Hot Rod uses his arm blasters to finish him off. Blaster and his remaining tapes jump to the next asteroid to quintuple team Sardakaur #6 while Blip the monkey uses his tail to brutally strangle poor Wilt to death. But despite the turns of bad luck for Built Ford Tough, they still have quite a force to be reckoned with; preparing for their full frontal assault on Unicron. Inside the FX created ship Max says “dirty diapers, I can’t fly this thing by myself, who is going to be my co-pilot. “I don’t do co-piloting Han says. So why don’t me and Libby over here man the guns and Chewie can help you fly this piece of crap”. “We will need to get the ship within at least 195.73 meters of Unicron in order for our projectiles to do any damage”. “Never tell me the stats, now lets think positive” Han says back to him. “What should Dawson, Joey, & I do” asks Pacy. “Just pretend you’re back on your show and stand around being useless for 23 minutes” Han says. Which prompts Dawson to whisper in Joey’s ear “Sweet; does that mean Han Solo watches are show”. Fantastic Max as playful as ever says “We need to think of a name for our new ship”. Han jumps in with “Well, this bucket sure is hell ain’t no Millennium Falcon 2” “Than what should we call it”? The Doctor asks. “I just said it didn’t I, it’s called the Millennium Falcon 2. Chewie and me are in it aren’t we” Han says in an annoyed voice. Fantastic Max says “Oh we didn’t know that’s what you meant”. “Of course that’s I meant” Han replies sarcastically. “Impossible man” AB says under his breath. Beta Ray Bill’s booming voice then says to the 2 ships (Diego & Baby Jaguar are still following in their boat, in case you forgot) “It is time for us to fly forth and do battle with the menace known as Unicron, this day shall be a day of victory”. Beta Ray Bill flies in directly toward the head of Unicron while Fantastic Max circles around the massive Transformer planet with Libby and Han targeting him anywhere they can from the rock ships cannons. Max dodges the swing of Unicron’s hand prompting Han to say “nice flying kid, I gotta hand it to ya, I couldn’t of done it better myself”. The Doctor adds “Yeah, now lets blow this thing and go home”. “That was my line” Han yells to The Doctor who obviously took the time to watch “A New Hope” in one of his previous incarnations. “Go me go”!! Diego yells to Baby Jaguar as he accidentally crashes into the leg of Unicron blowing up his little boat. Beta Ray Bill yells “For Odin, For Asgard, For Built Ford Tough, and For the race of Korbinites”! But he is then completely fried by Unicron’s blast of fiery cosmic energy from his eyes. Han says to Max “Lets do this kid, it is now or never: Punch It”! Libby tells them that they are going to have to go full throttle if they are going to work up enough momentum to kill Unicron and The Doctor agrees. AB says in a worried tone “Ohhh Max, at that speed will you be able to pull up in time”? “It will be just like jumping out of my crib back home” the Fantastic one replies. Han and Libby get ready with the guns while Fantastic Max goes into a tailspin and is then crushed when Unicron lightly claps his hands together…… Come on guys, you didn’t really think Fantastic Max was going to kill Unicron did you?
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!