S6 Consolation Round 2 - Nutbusters vs. Murderflies

Griswold's NutBusters are : Dexter Morgan, Doozer #5, and Little Goomba #20

The Murderflies are: ???

Ok so Me, Dexter, Doozer #5 (aka. Cinco), and Little Goomba #20 (Lil GoomGoom) are playing euchre on a shitty card table inside a Canadian Tire in Windsor waiting for The Murderflies team to arrive so we can start.

Dexter: They had to have remembered, right? I mean, it's only a 15 point team.

Fizzatu: Who knows, after an 0-9 season, would you give a shit anymore?

Dexter: I guess not...

Dexter looks at Cinco and orders up the Ace of hearts to his partner. Me and Lil GoomGoom look at each other and begin our top secret table talk.

Fizzatu: Hey GoomGoom, who do you use for car insurance?

Lil GoomGoom: Gotcha... Hey Fizz, I was gonna propose to my girl, you know, put a DIAMOND on her LEFT hand...

Fizzatu: Dude, I get it. Just say proposal. That's all I need...

Dexter: Hey! What's with all this table talk shit? Is that how you guys are up 8-0? You fuckers table talking?

Fizzatu: I don't know what you are talking about dude.

Dexter: The fucking “car insurance”, “proposal”, “let's go visit a farm”. That all means shit, doesn't it?

Fizzatu: Dude settle down. We are winning because the cards are taller than your partner.

Dexter has become irate and pulls his knife out on me and I begin to wonder if I am safe here after breaking the fourth wall yet again this season. Maybe next year I just stay out of the matches.

Just then an old school bus painted green screeches to a halt on the opposite side of the street in front of the store. We all rise and look out the windows as we see Ewoks #25-32 get out of the bus and charge toward the store.

Unfortunately, their hoods blocked their peripheral view of traffic and all 8 ewoks were struck repeatedly by vehicles as they ran across the street without checking for cars. Several vehicles were damaged beyond repair and the road quickly became littered with their furry corpses.

We all walked out to survey the damage and ensure that each member of The Murderflies was indeed deceased. Ewok #25 was still twitching on the ground and coughing up blood. He reached out his hand to me which had a small piece of paper clutched in it. Here is what it said:

Fizzatu: Guess that settles that.

Dexter: Can the little guy finish him off? I don't think he has a FFL kill yet.

Fizzatu: Yeah, go for it. No saving him at this point.

Cinco then climbed out of Dexter's pocket and scaled down his pant leg to the ground. Ewok #25 was resting his head on the pavement. Cinco then took his hardhat off and quietly said a few words to himself that no one could hear. He then proceeded to pound his hardhat into the skull of Ewok #25. We all waited patiently for the death blow, but after a few hours, we began to feel sorry for the little ewok. It was clear that the tiny doozer was not actually doing any damage and all we were waiting on was for the ewok's organs to fail and for him to succumb to his earlier injuries.

Dexter picked up the ewok's spear and sunk it into the base of his skull. Cinco looked up at Dexter with disgust.

Dexter: Sorry dude... I got shit to do.