Season 7 Week 4: B-3 Vs. The Empire

Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeeyatches are: General Zod, White Lantern Kyle Rayner, Firestorm (Ronnie Raymond), Red Lantern Hal Jordan, Vampire Kilowog, Razer, Aya, Oblivion, Yellow Lantern #2, Zombie Galactus, Vampire Dark Phoenix, Thane , The Black Order (Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf, Ebony Maw, Supergiant, Corvus the Glave), and Black Lantern Predator #1.

The Empire is: Silver Surfer, Red She-Hulk, Balder the Brave, Mother Askani, In-Betweener, Master Order, Lord Chaos, Indigo Lantern Sinestro, New X-Men (Surge, Prodigy, Blindfold, Rockslide, Mercury, Anole, and Gentle.), Lavos, Black Zero (DC), Black Zero (Megaman), Victory Saber, Reverse Flash, Ewok #76 w/Zapper and Proton Pack, and Luchador Assassin Chris Seney.

In space, no one can hear you scream... But they'll be able to hear you talk smack with the new FFL Brand Space Communicator 3000! As seen in this match! Order now!!!

General Zod flies directly at DC Black Zero, grabs him by the neck, and flies away with him. B-3's various Lanteerns and Firestorm are left to contend with The Empire's Indigo Lantern Sinestro, Lavos, Megaman's Black Zero, Victory Saber, Rockslide, and Mercury. Lavos tries the old "Apocalypse Special" trick on B-3, and a literal firestorm is decending on The Backyardigans. "Oh yeah!, I remember this guy!" exclaims a nostalgic Firestorm as he transmutes the fire bolts to harmless water. "Dude, Chrono Trigger was awesome!" agrees WL Kyle Rayner. "Do you remember how to beat this guy?" he asks. "C'mon man, I had a saved game right at the end!" replies Firestorm. The two approach the entrance to Lavos' shell, and have no problem getting in. They come across an Alien looking thing at the core. "Watch out for the laser teats!" warns Firestorm. "I got it." says WL Kyle, putting a shield between Lavos' core and themselves. The duo finally vanquish this form of Lavos, and the true core is revealed. "Ok, now we just gottta take out those weird orbs on the either side of the middle guy, then finish the middle guy off." explains WL Kyle. "What? No bro, we take out the middle thing first." counters Firestorm. "Seriously? I'm telling you, TAKE DOWN THE ORBS." advises WL Kyle. Firestorm transmutes Lavos to glass, he shatters the middle portion. A rumbling signals the end for Lavos. "Told ya." smiles Firestorm. "Whatever man, you kinda cheated." retorts WL Kyle. As time itself begins to go ape-sh*t from Lavos' death, the Firestorm Matrix isn't handling the fluxuations very well. "I... don't feel so good..." says Firestorm. "Dammit! I forgot. You're the guy that always explodes upon dying, right?" asks WL Kyle. "Yeah... heh... That's me... Sorry, man..." are the last words before both are killed in said explosion.

General Zod has strangled DC Black Zero for quite some time, but Black Zero finally struggles to be free. "Ha... Your facial hair is... interesting." says Zod with a smirk while he strokes his sweet goatee. "F*ck off, it was cool in the 90's." defends a soul-patched Black Zero. Zod speeds in, but is repelled quite a bit by the touch of Black Zero due to tactile telekinesis. Zod tries again, but is met with the same result. "Keep it coming, old man. I can do this all day." laughs Black Zero. Zod does indeed try again, but right before he reaches his target, he blasts heat vision directly into Zero's eyes. Zod flies behind the blinded and screaming Zero, and the General quickly breaks Zero's neck. "A fair effort, but a true Kryptonian will never fall to cloned scum." mocks Zod. "I must admit, it is nice to be on the good side of a neck breaking. I'll have to try that again sometime." he ponders to himself.

"SINESTRO!!! RRRR.... KILL YOU!!!" screams a frenzied Red Lantern Hal Jordan. He leads Razer, Aya, Yellow Lantern #2, Vampire Killowog, and Black Lantern Predator into the fight. Indigo Lantern Sinestro quickly channels the energy of a Blue Lantern, and destroys RL Hal and Razer's rings. They die soon after without their "hearts". Yellow Lantern #2 notices his ring is also losing it's change. Black Zero (Megaman) notices this and takes advantage, using his Z-Saber to cleave Yellow Lantern #2's head clean off. An energy blast hits Zero in the back. He turns around to face Black Lantern Predator #1. "You'll have to do better than that, creature!" says Black Zero as he raises his sword. BL Predator #1 pops his claw to challenge. They both charge to each other, and strike Anime style. Behind Zero, BL Predator falls after a dramatic second. Then he rises dramatically due to his ring. "So, you want more, do you?" says the determined robot hunter. Zero charges in, changing his style of blade with every strike he makes. The onslaught of laser, flame, and thunder energy is too much for the Black Lantern ring, and BL Predator #1 is no more. Black Zero regroups with Indigo Lantern Sinestro to face Aya and Vampire Kilowog. "Too bad it came to this Aya. You don't seem like a Maverick robot. I'm sorry." regrets Black Zero. Indigo Lantern Sinestro channels Red Lantern energy and starts to drain their green power rings. Aya and V. Kilowog look to each other with a nod, and empty their remaining energy on the Empire's pair in the form of an intense raw energy beam. They succeed, but only have enough power for life support. Victory Saber flies in to relieve the Lanterns' of their duty with the quickness. The Transformer spots The Silver Surfer in the distance, and decides to join him. Rockslide and Mercury continue to float unnoticed. "Great, he was our last chance to not float aimlessly in space! What now?" asks Mercury. "Um... I'm thinking..." replies Rockslide.

Norrin Radd and Victory Saber search for Zombie Galactus, and eventually find him predictably setting up shop on a soon to be consumed planet. They are stopped by Vampire Dark Phoenix. "Oh, Norrin, I would have thought that even you had tired of this by now. You should know better." smiles V. Dark Phoenix. "And I would think that The Phoenix would know better than to be a herald for this perversion of my former master." counters Surfer. "You would have been right at one time, but I have also been corrupted. He shares the slightest of his energies with me to regulate my vampirism, and I, ..... well, you know the rest, don't you?" she laughs. "I've heard enough of this madness. I will wipe you abominations from the memory of the universe." vows The Silver Surfer. Cosmic fire consumes The Surfer and Victory Saber. The Transformer is slagged, and The Surfer is blasted back. Norrin Radd shakes off the fire, and soars to V. Dark Phoenix. She attempts another blast, but The Surfer expects it and rides atop the fire. He is eventually able to redirect it, right into Zombie Galactus' back. "NNAAARRGH!!!" roars Z. Galactus. I haven't used any "cosmic zombie" since I left high school, but I think he said: "All heralds eventually betray me, but this is a new record." "Master... Noooo!!! It was him!!! Let me explain!" begs Vampire Dark Phoenix. Deadly, deadly eye beams of death aren't hearin it, and V. Dark Phoenix is destroyed. Norrin Radd looks upon his former master with pity. "What have they done to you?" asks a empathic Surfer. "NRRRG!!! RAAHRR!!!" ("Do not lament my current state, my former herald, for the universe has a plan. Do not feel pity, for I feel none for you.") mumbles Z. Galactus. He raises a hand and takes his lent energy back from Norrin Radd. As the powerless Surfer suffocates in space, his pure Power Cosmic begins destroying the tainted Zombie Galactus. The eternally entwined pair dies together.

The In-Betweener confronts a sneering Oblivion. "My masters have sent me with a message. You are to return the souls you took from The Empire, for they are under the protection of Master Order and Lord Chaos." states The In-Betweener. Oblivion laughs heartily at his request. "Your request is a joke. Even you know this to be true. They have no power over me. Furthermore, your team placed those souls in my hand the instant they appeared in this environment ill-equipped. Thane and The Black Order craved my presence, and I was happy to deliver. This is what I am. If I oblige my own team, what chance does yours have?" mocks Oblivion. He continues. "I'm afraid your masters knew this as well. They have sent you not as a messenger, but as a distraction. I'm sure that you can no longer feel their presence, as they have fled. They are not foolish enough to trifle with me." declares Oblivion. The In-Betweener is frozen in disbelief at his realisation. "Rest assured In-Betweener, I will reward you for your actions! You may gaze upon my true form!" cackles Oblivion as The In-Betweener ceases to be.

Mercury and Rockslide continue to float in space. "Come on Santo, think of something!" says Mercury. "This sucks, Cess, but I think we're stuck here until somebody wins." answers Rockslide. "Do you think we pulled it off?" asks Mercury. "At this rate, who knows? We might be here for a while." he says, unaware of an approaching General Zod.