S14 W6: Sigmas vs TLoEHSG

Sigmas are: The entire following team on an aircraft carrier: Ki Adi Mundi, Qui Gon Jinn, Sardakaur #1-20, Satoro Gojo, Gigachad, Iron Hide, Jhin, Tree Sentinel #1-10, The Fear, The Sorrow, The Pain, The Fury, The End, Griffith, Mouser #1-20, SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Starr, and Gary, Mon-Starr, Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, Muckman and Joe Eyeball, Ramjet, Dirge, and Bene Gesserit #9 & 10 and Ice Man and Slider in a F-14

The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen are: Avatar Aang w/ Star Saphire, Ahsoka Tano, General Kenobi, Martian Manhunter, Superman, Magneto, 21 degens and 2 orc in the 1000 Sunny, Ultron, Van Helsing, Homelander, John Wilks Booth, Robert E Lee

The Sigmas were lost at sea. For two reasons, 1) they never sent in a team so this rag tag crew got thrown together and had no directions. and 2) because they decided the best captain to helm the large aircraft carrier was a sponge.

The sea waves thrashed the giant ship on a planet that is in a constant state of unrelenting storms. The team was exhausted and sick and the battle had yet to even start. Ice Man finally agreed to do a scouting run in the F-14 and they were able to see the lights of Tapoca City up ahead. 

Inside the cloning facility, The Heteros were warm and rested waiting for their opponents to arrive. It had been days but they were happy and being treated very well by the Kaminoans. Suddenly a degen riding an orc came charging in to tell team that the Sigmas had finally arrived. They were wet and soaking because the rest of the team made them stay outside in the 1000 sunny on lookout because they didn’t want to deal with any of their bullshit. 

Ahsoka Tano and General Kenobi charged forward, their lightsabers deflecting the incoming fire as the Sigmas immediately manned the guns and started to take shots at the city structures and supports. The Jedi team moved quickly and fluidly, using their Jedi skills to evade the attacks. Superman, Ultron and Homelander gave them a quick lift and dropped them off on the deck of the ship. The five started to just mow down the exhausted crew on deck. 

Magneto, wasting no time, used his magnetic powers to control the metal of the enemy weapons. He lifted the guns into the air, twisting and contorting them until they were rendered useless. Ice Man and Slider were able to take off in time and went to the sky to shoot down the 1000 sunny. The degens didn’t even see it coming because they were too busy pushing zyns into each other’s assholes. But the ship crashed into the sea and they all ded. It really happened ong no cap. 

Avatar Aang and Star Sapphire combined their powers to create a massive energy shield. The shield was strong enough to protect the entire team from the incoming fire, providing a safe space for them to regroup. Martian Manhunter used his telepathic powers to infiltrate the enemy's mind. He was able to read their thoughts and gain insight into their strategy, providing valuable intelligence to the rest of the team.

On the deck of the ship, Asoka, Kenobi, Ultron, Superman and Homelander charged forward, using their superhuman strength and Jedi strength to plow through the enemy lines. They punched and blasted their way through the soldiers, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Mario and Luigi were killed hundreds of times but they kept respawning. This is because during their bored week at sea, they just jumped on Gary’s shell for fun and racked up a ton of free lives.

Back up on the deck, Van Helsing, John Wilkes Booth, and Robert E Lee provided covering fire, using their guns and rifles to take out any remaining enemy soldiers they could see. They were able to stay back from the front lines, picking off targets from a safe distance until Ice Man flew his plane into the deck of the city in a kamikaze attack. 

Aang figured enough was enough and started a whirlpool that quickly sent the ship spinning and Magneto used his force to push the aft of the ship down while Martian Manhunter lifted the bow. The ship was starting to swirl and was ready to go down like a turd. The Gentlemen made a hasty escape from the deck of the ship but not before Ki Adi was able to out duel Snips and Qui Gon bested his old apprentice. On their flight out, Supes put a hole in the hull of the ship for good measure ensuring no Sigmas remained on board. The remaining Gentlemen regrouped and watched from the city platforms as the last Sigmas sank.

Week 6: Doctor's Madhouse vs TEAM

The Madhouse Squad: Jango Fett in Slave 1, Ocean Master, Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Loch Ness Monster, Atlanteans #1-8, Sharkticon #1-5, Allicon #6-10, Water Bender #1-5, Ranx the Sentient City, Captain Marvel, Nova, Mirage, Yellow Lantern #3, Star Sapphire #2, Mutant 1-5, Predator #1-20, Parademon #1-10, Gremlin #1-10, Hydra Agent #1-5

TEAM Team: Godzilla, Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, Vah Naboris, Phibian #1-10, Gizmo, Mace Windu, Thor, Thunderstrike, Tenzin, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, Momo, Jack Lalane, and Zachary Houslander, Kyle Houslander, Alex Houslander, Chris Artrip, Conner Weidman, Reece Reamer, Darrin, Old Man Parks, Ethan Petz, Kyle’s Homeboy Phrunk’s Dad in Magic School Bus

We open above Kamino, Ranx the Sentient City sitting just out of the gravitational field of the planet. The Madhouse squad was lined up, Jango Fett was walking the line inspecting the troops. Their plan: Use Slave 1 to land the squad on Tipoca City where TEAM was holding down. Yellow Lantern #3 and Star Sapphire #2 would assist in this process, moving the water units and the bigger units to the surface. Parademons 1-10 had already infiltrated Tipoca and were relaying information about an optimal landing. 

On the surface TEAM was watching the looming threat just beyond the atmosphere. Most of the squad would remain in the city except for Jack, Zach, Kyle, Alex, Chris, Conner, Reece, Darrin, Parks, Ethan, and Phrunk’s Dad, who all loaded onto the Magic School Bus. Their goal: disconnect Ranx from his data feed.

The Seige of Tipoca City

Vah Medoh was the first to spot the Madhouse squad moving in for a landing. Jango warned his passengers before making an intense maneuver to dodge the cannon fire. One of the shots hit Yellow Lantern #3 and fried the Loch Ness Monster and the Atlanteans inside his construct. Star Sapphire #2 made it close enough to the surface to drop the Skakticons and Ocean Master into the ocean and the Allicons onto the roofs of the city. Captain Marvel and Nova finished Vah Medoh before the beast could cause anymore damage. They turned their attention to the other divine beasts, while two large bolts of lighting hit them both at the same time. The two fell from the sky and Thor and Thunderstrike began putting the work on Nova and Captain Marvel once they hit the deck. In one particular moment the two crossed their two strikes of lightning and fried Nova from existence. Captain Marvel wasn’t intent on fighting a two on one though and hit Thunderstrike so hard, her hand pierced his body and he fell to the ground. Captain Marvel and Thor then began a battle of attrition, each trading heavy blows when the opportunity presented itself.

The signal was given for the Parademons to exit their positions and distract TEAM so the landing could be made. They were successful, but all died in the process. Out of Slave 1 came (the dude) Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Water Benders, Mirage, Mutants, Predators, Gremlins, and the Hydra Agents. The landing zone was highly contested, but with the distraction of the parademons and Allicons (who got blasted by the Divine Beasts), only the Hydra Agents, Gremlins, and half the Predators were lost. With everyone out Jango took off again to help take down the rest of the Divine Beasts. The Water benders swelled the ocean and wiped Gizmo and Tenzin off the edge, but Tenzin was able to save himself. 

Kit Fisto found Mace Windu standing across a walkway from him and the two began one of the most intense light saber duels in the history of the universe, which everyone respected the fuck out of enough to stay out of it. Star Sapphire #2 was doing their best to distract the Divine Beasts from wiping out anymore of the Madhouse squad, but was pushing their limits. That's when Jango came in with a fly by, destroying the supports of the platforms they were standing on and sending them crashing into the oceans below, where they sank till they were crushed by the pressure.

Under the city, there were only two fighters left at this point: Ocean Master vs Godzilla. The Phibians were torn up by the Sharkticons, who stood no chance against Godzilla. Ocean Master attempted to out maneuver the beast and prod him with his trident in the throat, but he was overconfident and thought the monster was stupid. On one of his passes Godzilla surprised him and swiped him with his arm, dazing Ocean Master. Godzilla then gripped Ocean Master with its mouth and shot its atomic breath.

Swamp Thing, the Water Benders, Mirage, the Mutants and the remaining Predators only had the Gaang and Tenzin to deal with. They found the Gaang on a platform, and the battle commenced. Mirage shot a blast at Toph which was caught before it hit her by Sokka’s boomerang. Swamp Thing sent out several copies of himself which were cut down. From the bodies vines grew out and gripped Appa making him unable to move. That's when the Predators uncloaked themselves as they surrounded the entire platform. They all charged in ready to kill the beast and while they were successful in killing Appa and Momo, many of them were pushed off the platform into the waters below or cut down. Sokka and Toph were being pounced on by the Mutants and were killed. Tenzin responded by creating a vortex around them and suffocated them all. Mirage took this moment to plant a pile driver on him. Katara was enraged and all alone, but noticed the vines connected all the way back to Swamp Thing. She pulled all the moisture from his main body quicker than it could be replenished by the rain which left him unalive. Though Katara was strong, she was no match for a six on one against five water benders and Mirage. While she was able to kill several of the water benders she was eventually bested. Looking down below to see if anyone knocked off had survived, they only observed a glimpse of Godzilla as it had finished eating their teammates before diving into the depths. 

The Fisto Windu fight was still underway at this point. Both powerful Jedi were struggling to find an opening as they knew each other well. With the arrival of Mirage and the remaining water benders though, it was clear that Windu wouldn’t make it out of this one alive. The Madhouse squad had lost so many comrades at this point and while they wanted to respect the fight, but they wouldn't risk losing another. The distraction of their attacks allowed Fisto to strike a killing blow. They all grouped up and made their way to the final fight with Thor to help Captain Marvel. With everyone together and air support, they were able to defeat them without suffering another casualty. With all the fighting on Tipoca City over, they breathed a sigh of relief. That's when the whole city began to shake. Godzilla was intent on bringing the whole place down. They rushed for a landing zone to board Slave 1, but it was clear that Mirage wouldn’t make it on this trip. As Slave 1 took off, the city fell. Jango had a present for Godzilla though and dropped a seismic charge with it. The blast heavily damaged Godzilla who was forced to retreat and heal off the planet's radiation. 

A Ride on a Magic Bus

The magic school bus managed to slip by the Madhouse landing squads. Landing on Ranx undetected (because magic), the TEAM squad made their way towards the command center. The team did their best to move covertly. Conner and Ethan kept goofing around and asking absurd would you rathers, which really pissed off Kyle. Phrunk’s Dad turned around and called them all retards and reminded them they had a job to do here. Finally reaching the command center and entering, Alex shit his pants, not cause he was scared, but he really had to go and couldn’t figure which bathroom to use since he didn't understand the language. The smell was rancid enough to incapacitate anyone in the vicinity which opened the path for the squad, since they were used to it. Ranx sensing their presence in the control center, constructed a rock behemoth to fend off the attack. The squad dove for cover but Jack, Parks, and Chris were crushed. 

Zach, Kyle, Alex, Ethan, Conner, Reece, Darrin and Phrunk’s Dad had to think fast. Reece and Darrin volunteered to distract the monster while the others made a break for it deeper into the complex. With the distraction under way the rest of the squad made it past, but Phrunk’s Dad never leaves a man behind so he told the others to go on ahead. Finding some sort of space gun on the ground he went back. Darrin had been hit badly by the beast and Reece was comforting him behind cover in his final moments about to be crushed as well. Zach, Kyle, Alex, Ethan, and Conner were now in the main control center. The squad began a tech beat down worthy of that one scene from Office Space and Ranx was defeated. The planet began to float aimlessly, basically banishing the squad to the depth of space with their mission complete. The squad went back to see if there were any other survivors and found Phrunk’s Dad heavily injured. He told them that he was proud of them for completing the mission with his final breath before falling to the ground.

Week 6: Diddlers vs Redskins

Diddlers: Bad Batch: Hunter, Echo, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, Omega in the Marauder, Rebels crew: Hera Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus, Garazeb Orrelios in Ghost and Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger, Chopper in Phantom II, Emperor Palpatine, Captain Rex, Aquaman, Loki, Naruto, T-1000, Master Pakku, Red Lotus: Zaheer, Ghazan, P’Li, and Ming-Hua, Donald Trump in Penguin Suit, Crash Bandicoot, Autobot Transformers #1-4

Redskins: Namor, Larfleeze, Indigo One, Monk, Saint Walker, Aspen, Sando Aqua Monster, Mandalore the Great, Allicon #1-5, Toad, Abe Sapien, Kermit the Frog, The Leprechaun, Squirtle, Sharkticon #6-10, Atlantean #9-10, Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Major Disaster, Headbanger, and Junkyard, Dobby, Omega Supreme

Clone Force 99 and the rest of the Diddlers are set up on the clone home world, Kamino. Meanwhile, the Washington Redskins have secretly infiltrated the stormy planet. Considering the advanced nature of the above water structures, this battle is divided into a water battle and a rainy land battle…

Under the sea, under the sea, when the sardine begin the beguine… sorry… let’s take a look in the depths of the sea. I am a lazy writer this week so essentially what had happened was some Diddlers went against some Redskins and I’ll spare the details. Diddlers’ Master Pakku, Ming-Hua, Donald Trump, Autobot Transformers #1-4, T-1000, Naruto, and Aquaman had perished. As for the Redskins, Abe Sapien was the sole water survivor and moved back to the surface to help the rest of the battle while Namor, Aspen, Sando Aqua Monster, Allicon #1-5, Toad, Kermit the Frog, Squirtle, Sharkticon #6-10, Atlantean #9-10 did not survive.

Now onto the above water portion… immediately into battle we go. Note that OMMMEEEEEGGGAAA is a wee bitch so she “accidently” fell out of the Marauder to her death. After that, all in all I have no creative juices flowing for this match, sorry lads. So I’ll do a quick summary of the main events that occurred. Emperor Palpatine did a cool execution of order 66, the Redskin lanterns had some fun, Dobby is a certified DAWG so he just retreated to safety since Harry Potter needed some help on another world, Red Lotus went off because they too are a hood classic, Omega Supreme was in fact the supreme Omega in this fight, and Captain Rex is simply Captain Rex.

In the end… the Diddler’s out diddled the HUT.

Week 6 Democracy: Dolla 49 Mcrib vs The NAZA

NAZA: Boba Fett, Cad Bane, Legends Luke Skywalker w/ Blue Lantern Ring, R2-D2, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Vegeta, Deadman, Omniman, Monkey D. Luffy, Ash Ketchum, Kyogre, Rayquaza, Giritina, Dialga, and Palkia, Darth Traya, Darth Nihilus, and Darth Sion, Comander Stargaze and Sly Bird, and Crimson Chin

Dola 49 McRib: Darth Malak, Count Dooku, Bizarro Superman, Sentry, Dr. Strange and Wong, 10 Navy Seals, Goro w/ a Double Red Lightsaber, Shang Tsung, Attila The Frog, Genghis The Frog, and Napoleon Bonafrog, Rasputin The Mad Frog, Saturn, Ares, Mandalorian #1-10, Harkonnen Soldier #3, Lucario, and Atreides Soldier #2

The Underhills Vs. Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips.

 Week 6 Consortium, Kamino:

The Underhills are Mera, John Stewart, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, The Seacons:. Nautilator, Seawing, Overbite, Skalor, Snaptrap, and Tentakil, Black Mantan, Xenomorph #1-20, Excalibur: Capt. Britain, Meggan, Phoenix, Shadowcat, Nightcrawler, Lockheed, Kylun, and Widget, General Zod, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Skydive, Fireflight, Slingshot, and Air Raid, Raven, and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are Poseidon, Seaworm #1-10, Shazam, He-Man and Battle Cat, The Tiger Sharks:. Mako, Walro, Gupp, Octavia, and Lorca, Red Hood, Starfire, Arsenal, Apocalypse, and Hermione Granger on a Quidditch Broom.

The Sigmaz Vs. David Byrne's Meat Suits

The Sigmaz are The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael (all with Glocks), Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Link (w/ The Master Sword) on Pegasus, Spawn, Hellboy, The Unabomber in an Iron Man Suit, Azula, Tai Lee, and Mai, Mega Man and Rush, Goku, Bullseye, The Terminator (3) and Henry Knox in a F-14, Tokka and Razhar, Aaron Burr, and Detective Spooner 

David Byrne's Meat Suits are Yakkon, The Creeper, Kosa-Yin Hadu, Nazgul #6 on his Fell Beast, Shao Kahn, Unalaq, Desna, and Eska, Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Sagat, Piplup, Denethor, Pee Wee Herman, Uruk Hai #1-10, Storm Trooper #1-5, Rocky Balboa, Vladimir Harkonen, The Jar Jar Heads:. (Capt., Lt., 2nd Lt., Sgt., Cpl., Lance Corporal, Pvt First Class, and 3 Pvts), Capt. Tarpals, Boss Nass, Gungan Soldier #1-10, Robert Oswald, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Pope Emeritus Benedict in a Suit of Armor, Magwai #1-10, Sandy from Sandy's, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Lewis, Clark, and Saccajewa, Serena and Manion Butler, Benedict Arnold, Gary Habkirk, The Simpsons: Homer, Marge Bart (w/ Dark Brandon's AR-15), Lisa, Maggie, and Santa's Little Helper, The Noid, Air Bender #1-4, Dr. Robert Neville and his Dog, John Conner, and Axel Foley.  

Sigmas Vs. Sigmaz The Battle for the Apple of Eden

 Sigmas: Ki Adi Mundi, Smaug, Qui Gon Jin, Deadshot, Satoru Gojo, Griffith, Jhin, MLK Jr., Marth, Gigachad w/Katana and Tanto, Mystique, Legolas, Tree Sentinel, Faramir, Pit, Morpheous, Fremen, The Witch King of Angmar, The End, The Pain, The Fury, Gollum, Iron Hide, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Duncan Idaho, Chani, Sardakur (1-20), Starscream, Maverik w F5 Tiger, Ramjet, Dirge, Earth Bender

Sigmaz: Malcom X w/ Vibranium Suit and Green Light Saber, 10 Wakandan Soldiers, Obama, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir, The Dino Bots, Six Shot, SunStrom, Unabomber in Ironman suit and F5 Tiger, Eren Yaeger, Ronald Mcdonald Crew, The TMNT w/ Glocks, Altair and Ezio w/Apple of Eden, Golbin w/AR15, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Azula, Tai Lee Mai, Spawn inF14, Hellboy in F14, The Joker w/ The Joker Mobile, Link on Pegasus w/Master Sword, Zelda, Master Chief in Sith Fighter, SImon Belmont, E Dubb, Bullseye, Snake Eyes and Wolf, Guts

The rain is coming down hard in the jungle and the Sigmas are on the hunt for the apple of Eden.  The Sigmas have been split up in a search for the apple of Eden.  Gojo, Griffith, Jhin, Gigachad, and Mystique lead the fight into the jungle.  

Lighting strikes but it seems to be part of the storm until the Sigmas here a screech.  Eren Yaeger followed by the Ronald Mcdonald crew and Jason Voorhees make their presence known.  Eren Yaeger charges the Sigmas with great speed.  Gigachad tries to take out the neck of Eren Yaeger but it is nothing but an effort.  They know they have to cut his nape in order to release him from the Titan from information they got from their ally Doctor's Madhouse. 

Jhin begins to start attacking the Ronald McDonalds crew until all that is left is Grimace.  Grimace starts to become feral and fights back against Jhin while he is reloading.  Avoid all traps set by Jhin Grimace slashes Jhin making him unable to move.  Grimace rips the spin from Jhin's body and begins a feast upon his body, eating his limbs one by one.  Even Jason Voorhees is disgusted by the scene of Grimace.  

Gojo has been fending off attacks from Eren Yaeger and Voorhees with the help of Griffith and Mystique. Griffith takes on Voorhees head on.  Sword vs. Machete never looks like a close fight on paper but the undead make it look like they have the upper hand.  You can hear the loud clashes of steel as the fight goes on.  Mystique uses her ability to change into Pamela Voorhees.

"Jason.  You need to stop.  This is your mother.  Come home to me" says Mystique

Jason instantly stops fighting allowing Giffith to deal a lethal blow that takes out Jason Voorhees.  All that is left is Eren.  Eren becoming more and more aware of his abilities and where they came from determines to not be defeated once again.  He quickly takes out both mystique and Griffith as they are not equipped to handle a titan. 

After the battle Eren turns back into human form.  "I need to get back to the pyramid in the Desert to help protect the Apple of Eden" says Eren.

Little did Eren know that Gollum was lurking in the shaddows watching and listening to the whole fight.

"I need to warn the others I must" says Gollum as he retreats back to the city to let the others know that the Apple is not there and it's in the desert.

"I will have my precious apple since Mr.Frodo wouldn't allow me to have the Ring" says Gollum in his creepy ass voice he does.

Back in the city Gollum relays the information back to Qui Gon Jin but it is to late the fighting has begun and the there is no way to stop the onslaught.  Qui Gon and Ki Adi Mundi retreat back to the Desert Temple to go after the Apple.

Mavrik and the Unabomber are in a dog fight in F5 tigers.  The Unabomber is losing the fight.  Mavrik gaining the upper hand continues to rain fire on the Unabomber until The Unabomber tries to leave the fight.  Mavrik is chasing after him.  "Han I don't know where he is going.  It looks like he trying to retreat"

"Well follow him and take him down" says Han Solo

The Unabomber continues to run from the fight.  "They will never see this coming."  

The Unabomber then kamakazis Starscream killing the giant Transformer, but he ejected right before the crash and escaped in his Iron Man suit back to the fight.  He is unable to escape in the Ironman suit as Mavrik still had his eyes set on completing the mission at any cost.  His F5 has taken to much damage though.  He decides he can help in one last way.  He then Kamakazis Sixshot killing the transformer, but he went out like a G and didn't eject.  Mavrik ain't no pussy.

All while this is going on Iron Hide is taking on the Dinobots with the Lone earth bender.  The earth bender is unable to do much damage, but allows for a distraction for Iron Hide to take them out.  This effort is null as they all kill each other in a large destructive fight.

Ramjet and Dirge take on Sunstorm.  They begin to launch rockets at each other while in jet form.  They truly make a giant destructive dog fight which levels half of the city.  Building are crashing from the chaos.  Sunstorm is able to take our Dirge early in the fight leaving it a one on one between Ramjet and Sunstrom.  They both get destroyed in the destruction.  Both unable to move lying on the ground a building falls on them destroying the two transformers. 

During the giant robot fights Deadshot and Marth were at odds against the unkillable Michael Meyers.  No matter how many time Deadshot is able to shoot him he will not go down.  Deadshot unleashes enough round to take off the leg of Michael Meyers.  As Michael laid on the ground Deadshot approached him ready to shoot him in the head execution style. 

"Any last words freak" says Deadshot.

Shitty last words if you ask me.  Micahel then grabs Deashot taking him down to ground and stabs him in the neck.  Marth originally to afraid to get close to Michael attacks with his sword cutting the head off of Michael Meyers.  Marth sits next to the body of Deadshot remembering his old friends until he is grabbed and taken airborn.  Hellboy picked him up like a hawk does it prey.  He takes him higher and higher flying into the sky.  Marth struggling the entire time.

"If you keep struggling I'm gonna drop you to your death" says Hellboy

"You don't have the chops" responds Marth.

Marth is then dropped over 500 feet to his death.

Pit, Legolas, and MLK Jr. attack the Tmnt.  MLK is able to take the upper hand on Donatello cracking his neck and killing him.  Leonardo quickly responds decapitating the Civil rights activist.  Pit and Legolas fend off Raphael and Leonardo.  Legolas delivers a final blow to Raphael and pit takes out Leonardo leaving just Mikey.  Mikey's picks up the weapons of his fellows comrades and retaliates.  Here we can see the first glimpses of the Last Ronin.  Mikey is able to avenge his brothers killing the elf and the swordsmen.  

Mikey feels like he can't go on without his brothers and takes his own life while laying next to his brothers.

All that is left in the city for the Sigmas is Tree Sentinal, Farmir, Fremen, Han and Chewy, and Chani.  The battle in the city is looking grim for the Sigmas. 

Obama and Zelda are approached by Chani, Faramir and a Fremen soldier.  Obama and Zelda stood no chance.  Zelda is bested by Faramir as she can't handle the swordsman. The Fremen soldier easily takes out Obama, but I mean who couldn't?  His wife could beat his ass.

Link comes riding in on his Pegasus.  He quickly starts an attack on Chani who is defenseless.  He slashes the back on Chani leaving her to bleed to death.  The fremen soldier tries to avenge her but is unable to do so as the master swordsman takes out the soldier with ease.  Leaving just Faramir and Link to duke it out.  

The Boxing commences

Link is overpowering Faramir but he isn't done yet.  He is able to knock the sword out of the hands of Link.  He starts to walk Link down to deliver a finishing blow.  That is until Link's pegasus swoops in from the air to save him.  He then picks up is sword and keeps slashing Faramir from the air until he can no longer stand the pain and rolls over and dies.  

Han and Chewy along with the tree sentinal are all that remain in the city.  They have the Joker held hostage is an effort to be let go to escape to the Desert Temple.

"We know you know where the apple is now.  Let us go and we will release the Joker.  We already killed master chief we aren't afraid to kill another of you guys" says Han Solo

"We don't care about that psycho" says spawn as he unleashes his attack.  He killed Han Solo and The Joker in the process.

Chewy begins to go berserk as his best friend is just killed.  He rips apart Simon Belmont limb by limb leaving nothing left but his torso.  The Tree Sentinel backs up his comrade and begins to attack bullseye.  He is unsuccessful as Hellboy saves him from imminent death.  Hellboy then destroys the Tree Sentinal with one blow.

"You not the only one who can do that you big hairy bastard" says hell boy as he rips the limbs from Chewy leaving nothing left but hairs like a coyote does to a small dog.  

"It's time to get back.  Who knows who the hell they sent to grab that apple" says Hellboy

Hellboy picks up Bullseye and flies to the desert temple along side Link riding on his Pegasus. Spawn follows behind shortly after almost as if he were looking for someone.

At the Desert Temple

Ki Adi Mundi and Qui Gon have teamed up with Duncan Idaho and his Fremen and Sardakaur Troops.  They were met by Guts, Azula, Tai Lee and Mai.  The airbenders made quick work of all the soldiers and troops leaving the two Jedi with Duncan Idaho.  Duncan Idaho and Guts began to battle it out while it was the force vs airbending. 

Duncan Idaho and Guts began a fierce battle between the two.  The clashing of steel sent continuous sparks flying.  No one had the upper hand in the battle.  Guts began to get increasingly angry but that came to his demise.  His anger caused his to make mistakes like he had in his past battles with Griffith.  Idaho used to the terrain was able to take advantage and slice the throat of The Black Swordsman.  

Mundi and Qui Gon continued to battle the airbenders.  Mundi was soon taken out by Tai Lee but it wasn't enough to stop Qui Gon.  Qui Gon is able to over power azula with the help of Idaho.  They continue to push back on Mai who is two weak for the Jedi and commander.  

The End, The Pain, and The fury were running recon on the temple when they are met by Snake Eyes and Wolf.  Snake Eyes is able to snap the neck of the The Pain but while that happened The End and The Fury were able to take out Wolf since it was two soldiers vs a wolf.  Although they won Wolf was able to pull off a significant amount of damage to the two soldiers.  Snake Eyes is the better soldier and is able to take out the two with little to no damage taken.  

Qui Gon and Duncan Idaho finally arrive at the entrance of the Temple.  They are met by Malcom X.  

"Go on ahead" says Qui Gon

Idaho runs inside.  Qui Gon and Malcon X begin a light saber fight at the entrance.  The clashing of the light sabers can be heard through the entire temple.  Malcon X in his vibranium suit finally gets the upper hand on Qui Gon and stabs him in the heart.  

Morpheus soon arrives on top of Smaug and takes out Malcom X as morpheus is to strong for the noble leader of the Sigmaz.  Smaug goes to take out all the back up for the Sigmaz, but once again lighting strikes.  Eren Yaeger changes to titan form and jumps on the giant Dragon.  They begin to battle in the air.  Smaug is engulfing Yaeger with the flames.  The titan can't take it much longer.  He continues to attack the dragon.  His efforts are not enough to the kill the powerful dragon as he drops to the ground leaving him limp.

The Witch King of Angmar on the ground is able to cut the nape of Yaeger and then kills him when he rips him out of the titan body. 

Inside the Temple Morpheus and Idaho are met by the Wakandan Soldiers of the Sigmas.  They are able to defeat the weak soldiers.  Ezio and Altiar along with Fenrir are standing next to the apple of eden in defense.  The two assassins team up on Idaho and get the upper hand when Ezio made his way to the second floor and jumped to assassinate the commander.  Morpheus retaliates and kills the two assassins whose technology are far behind his.  He then moves on to Fenrir who couldn't keep up with Morpheus.  Morpheus is about to drop a nuke he on a killin spree.

Outside Smaug and The Witch King start to fend off the reinforcements of the Sigmaz.  They are met by Hellboy and Link.  Link was quickly engulfed in flames by Smaug as he stood no chance against the mighty Dragon but the Witch King fell short to Hellboy.  His strentgh was to much for him.

Smaug and Hellboy fought it out until Hellboy could no longer fly.  Without being able to fly his chances were slim to win.  Bullseye tried to help him but he was to weak for Smaug.  Smaug ate bullseye whole.  The battle was at a stalemate as Hellboy can't fly to get close but he is also immune to fire.  That is until Spawn arrives.

"Hey look who I found on the way here" Spawn says

"Please tell me you have him tied up" says hellboy

"why would I? He is to weak to do anything I pushed him all the way here" Spawn replies

"RUN" screams Hellboy

Satoro Gojo who escaped in the jungle without being seen began his onslaught.  He quickly blows off the head of Spawn who brought him to the Temple. He quickly moves to the slow Hellboy and is able to take out the demon.

Gojo makes his way into the temple.  All that stands is Snake eyes.  Gojo and Morpheus laugh as they argue who will kill him.  Gojo then jumps ahead and ends snake eyes life in the blink of an eye.

"We've done it.  We can head back now" says Morpheus

"Not so fast" says the Black Stallion Erick William's who is followed by Kratos and Atreus.  

Kratos lept into the fight followed by Arteus.  It was speed and strength something Gojo and Morpheus never have seen before, but Gojo was up for the fight.  The fight began to destruct some of the temple but Kratos ended it early.

"You can't kill a god" says Kratos.

Erick then picks up the apple of Eden slowing down time and using the Sword of Duncan Idaho he slays Smaug.  Erick then leads his two subordinates off into the sunset.

The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen vs The Washington Redskins

It is playoff planet week, both teams begin landing on the planet to prepare for battle. They are amazed at the size of the planet and diversity of terrains. The planet appears fit to house any type of being for battle. Many stories have made their way around the league of epic battles that had been fought here in alternate universes. As the combatants step foot onto the planet they can’t help but feel a vague sense of deja-vu.

The Washington Redskins are:

Yoda (w/ Dwarf Ring #4), Chian, Professor Xavier, Wolverine, Omega Supreme, Sinestro (w/ The White Lantern Ring), The Ghostbusters:. Peter, Ray, Egon, & Winston in Ecto-1,  John McLane and Skeletor in The Batmobile (Tim Burton/Michael Keaton version), Namor the Submariner, The Sando Aqua Monster, Chuck Norris (w/ The Houslander Family Katana) in a Chinese Spy Balloon, Thundercracker and Buster, Skywarp, The Arc Troopers in a U-Wing (O.G. Arc Troopers include: Captain, two lieutenants, heavy weapons specialist, and six Arc Troopers (Obi Wan's special troops from O.G. Clone Wars)), Asajj Ventress in an Arwing, Kup, Sodom Yat, Mandalore the Great (w/ The Dark saber), R.O.B. the Robot in an ARC Fighter,  The Silver Hawks: Colonel Bluegrass w/ Sideman, Quicksilver w/ Talleyhawk, Steelheart w/ Stronghold, Steelwill w/ Rayzor, & Copper Kid w/ Mayday in The Marage, Teddy Roosevelt (in a Hammer Bros. Suit), Larfleeze, Usagi Yojimbo & Jotaro, Sharkticon #7 & 8.  

The Washington Redskins decide to employ the most cutting edge technology to gain the upper hand on their opponent.  Chuck Norris grabs the Houslander Family Katana and climbs up into a Chinese Spy Balloon. Several days later, he is tens of thousands of feet over the camp of the League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen. He looks down with his hawk like vision and sees their troops preparing for battle. He sees:

Avatar Aang with Star Sapphire, Superman, Martian Manhunter, Dante, Beowolf, Hecate, Erasmus, Magneto, Ultron, The Insecticons (Venom, Barrage, Chop Chop, Ransack),  Sky Lynx, Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Sabertooth, Dracula w/power ring, Jason Bourne w/ Death note,  Aphrodite, Pinhead, Galadriel, 4 LOTR Orc, as well as vehicles: TIE Fighter, A-Wing, TIE Reaper, and Imperial Shuttle.

After some time he sees  Avatar Aang, Aphrodite, Jason Bourne, and Dante get into a TIE Reaper and leave the camp.

“Well, their story checks out.” He utters to himself. “Although they do have a couple of broads. And Bumblebee is kinda gay.” Chuck writes down his findings on his notepad. He then pulls a carrier pigeon out of his pocket, sticks the note in the bird’s mouth, and roundhouse kicks it back to his team. Back at the Redskins base Yoda picks up the dead pigeon and pulls the note out of its mouth. “Begin now the battle will”.

Back in the balloon, Chuck is getting bored so he decides to start hocking loogies. He spits one out with precision and lands it directly through an Orc’s skull. The other three orcs look up in bewilderment. Then another loogie slams through skull of another Orc. The remaining two look at each other confused, about to run when they are both offed by high velocity spit wads. 

In the balloon Chuck mumbles to himself contentedly “The age of Orcs is over. The time of the loogie has come!”

Down below the Gentleman are discussing what had transpired and what they should do about it.

“It is a very advanced form of technology. We must leave it be.” Says Galadriel. “It is the tradition of this world to allow the balloon to float freely for days while doing nothing. Besides, we need to find out more information about what this thing is.”

“I told you days ago that it’s just a balloon with an old man sunbathing nude next to a sword. I offered multiple times to shoot it down and you declined.” Retorts Sky Lynx.

Meanwhile, a TIE Reaper lands near the beach and the Gentleman exit the ship.

“Our water foes are very formidable. Stick to the plan.” says Avatar Aang as he begins bending water attempting to uncover the enemy. He sees a couple of Sharkticons swimming near the shore so he earth bends some nearby boulders and sends them directly into the transformers. While he is occupied a very large wave forms and knocks the gentlemen into the water. Namor, riding on the back of the Sando Aqua Monster swims up and devours Avatar Aang and Dante. Aphodite and Jason Bourne swim towards shore but Aphrodite doesn’t make it and is also consumed. Jason hurries onto the shore and falls onto his back as the monster gains on him.

“Please! Before you eat me please tell me, who is it that has bested me?” begs Jason Bourne.

“What? Have you not heard of the great Namor? Or my pet Sando Aqua Monster? We are the most fearsome –“ then they both die suddenly, as Jason finishes writing in his notebook. Jason then returns to his TIE Reaper to fly back to the others.

Back at their base, the Gentleman see a speck in the distance. As it gets closer they see that it is Wolverine pushing Professor Xavier in his wheelchair.

“Do not shoot.” Commands Magneto. After a while Professor X and Wolverine get close and then stop.

“I have assessed the situation. Your team loses in the end. I am offering you the option to surrender now and spare the lives of your team.” Pleads Professor X.

“Charles, I know who is on your team. They are mostly robots and costumed people in vehicles. They are no match for my powers.” Flaunts Magneto.

“Very well, you were warned.” And with that Wolverine begins wheeling him away.

“Stop!” yells Magneto as he exerts his control over wolverine. “Why would you come here defenseless? Wolverine is the last person who could defend you from me?”

And with that Thundercracker and Skywarp swoop in from opposite directions firing their blasters at Magento. He is incinerated as the Gentleman are momentarily stunned. The rest of the Redskins then lunge into battle.

The Gentleman frantically run for their ships.  Erasmus gets into his TIE Fighter, Pinhead gets in his A-wing, and Beowolf in an Imperial Shuttle. Having advanced intel the Redskins U-Wing,  Asajj Ventress in her Arwing, and R.O.B. the robot in his ARC figher gun down the ships and combatants as they attempt to take off. The Silver Hawks and Sinestro blast away Hecate.

Superman sees the battle slipping away and responds quickly by flying through the Redskins U-Wing causing it to crash killing all of the Arc troopers. He then puts his heat vision onto R.O.B. the robots Arc fighter blowing it up. He catches up to Asajj Ventress and rips the wing off of her Arwing but she ejects before the crash.

 Sky Lynx knocks off the Silverhawks one by one. He then pursues Skywarp and Thundercracker, neither of whom can shake him off. Sky Lynx blasts both transformers out of the air and begins strafing the Redskin’s ground forces. He easily picks off Usage Yojimbo and Jotaro without much effort.

On the ground the Ghostbuster pull up and get out of Ecto-1 near Dracula. They pull out their proton packs and begin blasting at Dracula but he is too fast for them. The Batmobile pulls up and as John McClain and Skeletor get out Dracula flies behind John McClain and drains his blood. John tries to get back into the Batmobile and faints, his foot hitting the gas pedal. The Batmobile smashes into the Ghostbusters and Ecto-1, killing everyone involved. Skeletor notices Dracula is distracted by this and takes the opportunity to thrust his sword through his chest.

Sabertooth eyes Wolverine from across the field. The two begin moving towards each other. Sabretooth strikes first, charging towards Wolverine with his claws extended. Wolverine meets him head-on, their claws clashing in a shower of sparks. The two exchange blows, their enhanced senses allowing them to anticipate each other's moves.

Sabretooth grins savagely as he lands a blow on Wolverine's side, drawing blood. But Wolverine fights back with renewed ferocity, slashing at Sabretooth's face with his claws. Sabretooth snarls and slashes back, their claws locking together once again.

The fight continues for what seems like an eternity, both combatants matching each other blow for blow. They roll and tumble across the ground, their claws tearing up the earth beneath them. 

With a final, savage roar, Wolverine delivers a devastating blow to Sabretooth's chest, puncturing his heart. Sabretooth falls to the ground, dead. Wolverine stands over his fallen foe, breathing heavily but victorious.

Martian Manhunter and Ultron find themselves confronted by Larfleeze and Sinestro. Martin Manhunter used his telepathy to probe the minds of his opponents, seeking to find their weaknesses. Ultron, on the other hand, unleashed a barrage of energy blasts, intent on taking down his foes with raw power.

Larfleeze summons his power of avarice to create a swarm of constructs that swarmed around his opponents, engulfing them in a sea of orange light. Sinestro, the Yellow Lantern, used his ring to create a cage of fear around the two heroes, trapping them within.

Martin Manhunter tried to use his shape-shifting abilities to escape the cage, but he found that Sinestro's ring was too powerful for him to overcome. Ultron, too, found himself unable to break free, as the cage seemed to sap his energy and weaken him.

Larfleeze and Sinestro then launched a coordinated attack, with Sinestro blasting the trapped heroes with his ring while Larfleeze unleashed his orange constructs upon them. Martin Manhunter and Ultron fought back with all their might, but it was not enough. Martian Manhunter then used his telepathic powers to plant the idea into Sinestro’s mind that Larfleeze would turn on him. Sinestro then turned and focused his attack on Larfleeze.

Larfleeze had been caught off guard by Sinestro's attack and was now lying motionless on the ground. Sinestro approached him slowly, a smug grin on his face as he relished in his victory. It was short lived, however, as he realized he had been duped into killing his own teammate. He then turned to his trapped opponents and finished them off.

Omega Supreme lands on the battlefield and transforms mode and engages the insecticons. They attack him while saying something in a high pitched, barely understandable voice but he just ignores them and squashes them like bugs.

Kup is in a shootout with Bumblebee and Cliffjumper. Kup takes a couple of blasts and has his gun knocked out of his hand. They have him on the ropes, about to be blasted away when Omega Supreme stomps on both of them, creating a pile of scrap metal. Just as Kup begins to thank Omega Supreme he sees several explosions on him as he is blasted from behind by Sky Lynx. Kup narrowly avoids the same fate.

Chuck Norris is watching the battles below as sees that Sky Lynx is causing problems for his team. He puts on pants, grabs his katana, and jumps from the balloon. He aims his descent perfectly to land on the back of Sky Lynx. He holds on tight as Sky Lynx begins performing aggressive maneuvers to knock him off. Chuck takes his katana and digs it into Sky Lynx as deep as he can. The damage causes Sky Lynx to lose control of his flight. The two plummet towards the earth, the impact causing a massive explosion killing both of them.

Galadriel finds herself surrounded by Redskins. Yoda, Chian, Asajj Ventress, Mandalore the Great, and Sinestro begin creeping towards her with their weapons drawn. Superman sees this and swoops down next to assist his teammate. Galadriel telepathically communicates with Superman as their enemies approach. They are attempting to come to a consensus on what to do when Asajj Ventress swings her light sabers at Galadriel barely missing her. Superman briefly uses his heat vision on Galadriel’s sword then upper cuts Chian to dislocate his skull. Faster than any of the other characters, he gets behind Sinestro and snaps his neck from behind and throws his body at Yoda. Galadriel drives her heated sword through the chest of Mandalore the Great but is not quick enough as Asajj Ventress is successful this time and beheads the elf. Superman very quickly avenges his fallen teammate by grabbing one of the lightsabers of Asajj Ventress and slicing her in half. He then thinks to himself one more left, only to look down and sees a lighsaber protruding from his abdomen, the last thing he sees before he dies. Yoda removes his lightsaber from the Kryptonian and regroups with his team.

Jason Bourne returns in his Tie Reaper to see considerable destruction on the battlefield. As he is landing he sees several characters that he recognizes. “Time to go meet my heroes.” He steps out of the Tie Reaper to be greeted by some of the remaining Redskins.

“Over now, it is.” Says Yoda as he approaches Jason Bourne, igniting his lightsaber. Yoda, Wolverine, Skeletor, and Sodom Yat approach Jason.

“It was great to meet all of you before you die.” Exclaims Jason. The approaching members of the Redskins seem to slow down, then drop their weapons and clench at their chest, dying suddenly. 

With only a few loose ends to resolve, Jason Bourne approaches Teddy Roosevelt carrying a big stick with some metal at the end of it. “And who are you old man?” he asks.

Teddy Roosevelt very softly replies with his name.

“What? I can’t hear you.” Teddy then repeats his name softly.

“I don’t have time for this.” Jason retorts as he punches Teddy Roosevelt and starts walking away. Teddy begins throwing hammers at him while Buster runs up and starts biting his leg. He manages to break free of the dog and runs away as fast as he can. Kup drives right in front of the fleeing Jason Bourne who runs into the truck and falls to the ground, dropping death note. Professor X wheels over like Mr. Walicki on the last day of school and maneuvers his wheelchair to be on the neck of Jason Bourne, Floyd style. Buster picks up death note and brings it to Professor X.

“This is the end, Jason Bourne. I guess we need to start calling you Jason Died.”

He writes in the book: Jason Bourne, fentanyl overdose.

The Diddlers Vs. David BYRNE'S MEAT Suits

 Your vote has been requested for the following epic battle:

The Diddlers are Gandalf the White, Aquaman, Emperor Palpatine, Emperor Palpatine's Shuttle, The Guardians of the Galaxy: Star Lord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Groot, Rocket Raccoon, Nebula, and Mantis, Iron Man, Adam Warlock, War Machine, Paul Maud Dib, Darth Bane, Jean Grey, Ice Man, Cyclops, Beast, and Archangel, The Red Lotus: Zaheer, Ghazan, P'Li, Ming Hua, Syndicate Maul, Naruto, T-1000, Loki, Shockwave, The Wampa, Autobot #1-3, Chinese I-Phone Factory Worker #1 in a Chinese Spy Balloon, Nick Hutchins w/ a BFG, and Donald Trump in a Penguin Suit.

David BYRNE'S MEAT Suits are Deadpool, Freddy Krueger, Benedict Arnold, Gary Habkirk, The Simpsons: Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie w/ Santa's Little Helper, The Noid, Air Bender #1-4, Yokkon, Pounce and Wingspan, Kosa-Yin Hadu, Pikachu, Nazgul #6 on Fell Beast, Omnius, Shao Kahn, Bolin, Maku, Pabu, Piplup, Unalaq, Desna, Eska, The Comedian, Nite-Owl, Silk Spectre, Ozymandias, and Rorschach, Denethor, Cody Jones, Sagat, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, Capt. Caveman, Fred Rogers, Uruk Hai #1-10, Junkeon #1-10, Storm Trooper #1-5, Rocky Balboa, Vladimir Harkonen, Joe Biden, Easterling #1-10, Pee Wee Herman, Boss Nass, Capt.  Tarpals, The Jar Jar Heads (Elite group of Marine Gungans (Captain, Lt., 2nd Lt., Sgt., Corporal, Lance Corporal, Pvt. First Class, and 3 privates)),  and Gungan Soldier #1-10, Magwai #1-10, Norman Rockwell (w/ blue lightsaber), Robert Oswald, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Abe Lincoln, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Pope Emeritus Benedict in a suit of armor, Lewis and Clark w/ Saccajewa, Sandy from Sandy's, The Creeper, Serena & Manion Butler, Dr. Robert Neville and his dog, John Conner, and Axl Foley.

The Doctor's Madhouse Vs. The Underhills

 The Doctor's Madhouse is Dr. Manhattan, Ranx the Sentient City, Silver Surfer, Darth Vader, Abeloth, Brainiac Batman and Alfred (w/ double yellow lightsaber) in The Tumbler, Robin on the R-Cycle, Capt. America on his motorcycle, She-Hulk, Kid Flash, Ocean Master, Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien, Kryptonian #1-3, Yellow Lantern #3, Star Sapphire #2, & Mutant #1-3.

The Underhills are General Zod, Neo (w/ 2 blue lightsabers), Sauron (w/ The One Ring), Spider-Man, Incredible Hulk, Mogo, John Stewart, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, Revan Reborn in First Order TIE Fighter, Excalibur: Capt. Britain, Meggan, Phoenix, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, Lockheed, Widget, & Kylun, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Skydive, Fireflight, Slingshot, & Air Raid, Blue Wizard #1-2, Radaghast the Brown, Norma Cenva, Starkiller in A TIE Interceptor, Hangman and Rooster w/ Vizzy in Ebon Hawk, and Xenomorph #1-5.

A battle for the ages.  The mutual respect once held between these two inter-division rivals has grown into pure hatred as they both attempt to attain a much yearned for Playoff Spot.   Well-matched in every aspect it would seem that these two teams were created to do battle with one another.  Each provides an answer to the other's questions while still showing strength to the power they oppose.  The match begins in an extremely unlikely way as Ranx: The Sentient City, the living, breathing mechanical yellow lantern fueled monstrosity and arguably the most member of The Madhouse is ratioed by his green lantern counter-part the much larger Mogo.  Despite having an initial weakness to the color yellow, Mogo is able to overpower Ranx in their deep space battle by using means of biological attacks to overcome the city of fear.  Mogo certainly feels negative effects from the battle; but does handedly come out on top.  

The Madhouse certainly seems to have the upper hand when it comes to the Sea as five Underhill Xenomorphs delve into the deep waters.  Despite the hearty aliens being barely hindered at all by the water that they move through with ease; Swamp Thing, Kit Fisto, and Ocean Master make short work of the creatures discovered on LB-426.  

General Zod is in the midst of a mountain leveling battle with Brainiac in the desert that will have to be revisited later.  

Invincible and the rest of his Guardians of the Globe initially find themselves under attack from above as Hangman and Rooster in the Ebon Hawk with Vizzy himself working the Ventral Gun and Starkiller acting as their wingman in his TIE Interceptor begin a strafing run on top of the city buildings' rooftops that they are occupying.  Although the former members of The Teen Team have to quickly shift gears to a melee battle as they realize that the two ships were largely a diversion.  They quickly enter into a pitched battle with the members of Excalibur as Widget teleports the entire team into their midst for a surprise attack.  Invincible punches a hole through Widget to insure that this would be Excalibur's last teleport, but Rachel Summers Phoenix quickly absorbs Rex Splode before he can do any real damage.  Nightcrawler BAMFS Dupli-Kate out of existence, while Shadowcat phases through Robot to disrupt his innards.  Allen the Alien is hit by a potent fire blast from the mouth of the little dragon alien Lockheed; but Atom Eve rearranges the physical molecules of Kylun with the wave of her hand, before Phoenix and Nightcrawler double team her with a combo of speed and raw power.  Invincible manages to physically overpower Excalibur's leader Capt. Britain and break his neck; but he is lastly defeated by the shape-shifting Meggan, who according to the silly Facebook Comic groups I am in has become some sort of O.P. god since I quit reading comics.  

Despite being a lifelong She-Hulk fan, The MCU has made me forget about how cool of a character she was once.  So, she just said some woke, feminist crap and then got instantly mind-blocked by Norma Cenva.  

Radaghast the Brown's underwear suddenly matched his robe when Silver Surfer flew into his presence at the speed of light and cosmic blasted him out of the woods.  But, in more wizard news the two blue wizards squared off against the unlikely team up of Voldemort and Dumbledore. The two Hogwarts grads worked together much better than expected.  Despite their hatred for one another, they new many of the same tricks and were able to overpower the two Blue Wizards.  

Mutant #1-3, work together to use their powers of super strength, energy projection, and winged flight; but their powers are not enough to stand against the five Aerialbots, who blast them to bits from the sky in their jet forms before transforming into their robot modes and then merging to form Superion.  

Revan Reborn moves through the skies of The Play-off Planet at amazing speeds, guided by his Force Sensitivity.  He targets Robin on his motorcycle from the air and takes him out with a mag-pulse warhead.  The TIE is then quickly hit by a surface to air missile fired as a counter-measure from the Tumbler.  Revan then ejects out of The TIE and uses his Force Powers to carefully glide himself down to the top of the still moving Tumbler.  Batman and Alfred move the armored Batmobile swiftly and wildly, but they are still unable to shake Revan from the top.  Revan ignites his lightsaber and begins cutting a hole in the top of the vehicle destroying its integrity, causing Batman and his butler to eject, thus beginning the melee battle we have been waiting for.  Alfred ignites both parts of his double-bladed lightsaber, but despite having some skill with the yellow blades is taken out quickly by Revan.  Batman jumps into the fray though and has no trouble blocking the saber swings from Revan with his armor, especially since Batman had the chance to analyze Alfred's Saber and up his defenses.  Revan makes a fatal error and allows Batman to get in too close.  Bruce then dodges a lightsaber swing and delivers a Batarang into the neck of the Force Expert.  

The five other Green Lanterns follow close behind John Stewart, while their two blue lantern counterparts follow behind them, charging their green power rings to 200%.  They have the numbers advantage; but quickly realize that their power may not be on par with that of their competitors when they are approached by both Abeloth and Dr. Manhattan.  Stewart goes headlong for Manhattan while the others attempt to surround Abeloth.  John and the crew put up a valiant fight; but they simply do not have the strength to overpower such a duo.

Hulk sees his old buddy Cap and decides that he needs to smash the tiny Avenger Leader.  But Cap has a new team with him and is able to match Hulk's strength with his trio of Kryptonians backing him up.  With perfectly timed and precise attacks being called out by Cap the Kryptonians are able to weaken Hulk enough to cause him to revert back to his human form as Dr. Banner and allow Cap to deliver a Vibranium shield to his cranium.  Only one of the three Kryptonians (#2) survived their battle with the green giant.  

Spider-Man attempted some witty banter with Lord Vader, whilst leaping around; but the Dark Lord of the Sith ended him quick with a wicked Force Choke.  

The Madhouse's Yellow Lantern and Star Sapphire thought they had some pretty wicked powerful rings; but they realized what true power was in this arena as they were quickly stomped by Sauron.  Their own rings absorbed by the Power of the ring meant to rule all.

The speed of Kid Flash proved very annoying to Neo, who missed twice with his lightsaber before removing the head of the young Wally West.  

A tired out Zod allows himself a deep breath after finally being able to snap the neck of Brainiac after their extremely pitched battle.

Outside the atmosphere of The Play-Off Planet, The Ebon Hawk and Starkiller's TIE Interceptor are desperately attempting to finish The Silver Surfer; but they simply cannot seem to connect with anything strong enough to take him out.  The Surfer decides to turn the tides and go on the offensive and initially does so, by blasting himself, surf board and all directly through the hull of The TIE Interceptor.  Hangman and Rooster are able to make some incredible evasive maneuvers against the attacks of Silver Surfer and are even able to put the ship in position for Vizzy to be able to land some shots with their proton torpedoes; but they simply will not put the Surfer out of commission.  The Surfer conjures up a potent blast of cosmic energy and blowing the Ebon Hawk to oblivion.  

Norma Cenva is unimpressed by the sheer physical strength of Kryptonian #2 as she melts his brain into goo; but is caught off guard by a perfectly aimed cheap shot from Ol' Steve Rogers which puts her down for good.  

Lockheed loves to follow the strong horse and gladly becomes a mini-fell beast to Sauron the Deciever himself, once the little dragon becomes separated from his buddies in Excalibur.  Dumbledore and Voldemort, the reluctant partners have stayed together in the fight thus far and attempt to team up on The Lord of Mordor.  Dumbledore whispers:  "Ratio" under his breath as he sees Voldemort, blood-lusted and offended by someone else claiming to be The Dark Lord falls to the gauntlet laden hands of Sauron.  Sauron then turns his attention to Dumbledore, whom he knocks to the ground.  A dizzied and near dead Dumbledore rolls over to see the elusive Sword of Griffendore underneath a large rock.  Albus pulls out the sword and swings it wildly at Sauron cutting off the ring and having Sauron join him in death as his heavy boot comes down on the wizard to finish him off.  

The remaining members of Excalibur: Nightcrawler, Phoenix, Shadowcat, and Meggan venture into the water in an attempt to take out the Madhouse Members who have been residing there since the commencement of the match.  Meggan shifts into her true amphibian like form and easily moves through the water as Kitty Pryde phases through the water in her non-tangible form.  Nightcrawler attempts to help as he teleports about but is unable to do any real damage to Ocean Master, Master Fisto, or Swamp Thing.  This battle works its way to a stale mate, until Phoenix dives into the ocean and unleashes her full Phoenix Force Power.  Rachel Summers, who typically handles the mighty power of the Phoenix a bit better than her mother Jean Grey succumbs to the urge and boils the Sea of the Play-Off Planet killing not only her three water opponents, but her three teammates and herself as well.  

High above the Forest area, Superion takes flight and meets Abeloth who attempts to focus her Force energy at the massive Autobot Gestalt.  But Superion is able to break through the wave of power and  work over The Mother of Mortis with a combo of earth shaking metal fists and massive energy gun blasts.  

General Zod and Neo move in towards Darth Vader while the former Anakin Skywalker's teammate Dr. Manhattan flies out of the atmosphere to see if he can single handedly take on the planet known as Mogo.  Vader manages to put up quite a fight against the duo, proving himself to be not only the better of the two swordsmen against Neo, but also able to withstand both the heat vision and physical strength of Zod with his mastery of the living Force. Had it not been a two on one fight, Vader would have most certainly prevailed this day; but once Zod and Neo put their heads together, they were able to end The Dark Lord once and for all.  Up in space, Dr. Manhattan proved that his ability to destroy the vegetation and life of a planet was equal to his ability to create one from nothing.  As Manhattan flies back to earth to rejoin his team, he leaves Mogo a lifeless shell floating throughout space.  

Dr. Manhattan regroups with his only surviving teammembers Captain America and Silver Surfer as they plan their final push against The Underhills.  Dr. Manhattan is unhurt by the lightsaber attacks and punches of Neo and Zod that go right through him.  Manhattan then solidifies himself just briefly enough to grow to a massive size and rip the Kryptonian General Zod in half.  Neo, seeing that Manhattan cannot be defeated through conventional means, slips deep into a trance and rips Manhattan completely out of existence.  Silver Surfer uses every bit of strength he has both cosmic and physical to blast through Superion's chest destroying not only the formed Gestalt; but the five sparks of the individual Aerialbots as well.  The Surfer is thrown from his board after this victory where he falls at the feet of Neo who is able to deliver a flurry of punches to the chrome armored mortal with such speed and velocity that even The Surfer himself could not see coming.  As The Surfer dies from his wounds, Neo is at a point of total exhaustion.  Capt. America with his inability to ever give up leaps into action and attacks Neo with a flurry of melee attacks from fist, foot, and shield.  Neo, now unable to focus power outside the Matrix is simply using his Kung Fu skills and lightsaber ability to ward off Cap's attacks.  Cap breaks one of Neo's lightsabers, while a near dead Neo slices off the left leg of Captain America.  Cap leaps toward Neo with his one remaining leg, knocks the lightsaber from Neo's hand with a last swing of his shield, catches the lit saber, and uses it to cut off the head of Neo, just as Lockheed was blowing a blast of fire and biting the jugular of Steve Rogers......... 

Week 5 Staff Consortium: Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolypse vs The NAZA

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolypse: Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy, Apocolypse, Agent Smith w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Granny Goodness and The Female Furies: Bloody Mary, Stompa, Mad Harriet, and Lashina, Poseidon, Sarumon The White, Red Robin, Miss Martian, Wonder Girl, The Flash, Juggernaut, Megatron, Seaworms #8-10, Wedge in his X-Wing, Biggs in his X-Wing, He-Man and Battlecat, Legends Leia Organa Solo and C-3PO, and Eric Cartmen in a Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit

NAZA: The Doom Patrol: Mento, Negative Man, Elastic-Girl, Robot Man, and Changling, The Suicide Squad: Amanda Waller, Harley Quinn, Killer Frost, King Shark, Alan Scott, and Bloodsport, The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, The Thing, Human Torch in the Fantastic Car, The Sinister Six: Carnage, Green Goblin, Venom, Doctor Octopus, Rhino, and Sandman, The OG Guardizyns of Galaxy: Yondu, Charlie-27, Vance Astro, Starhawk, Martinix, Nikki, and Aleta, Ash Ketchum, Darkrai, Arseus, Giratina, Lugia, Kyogre, Regigas, Rayquaza, Kyurem, Dialga, Palkia, Alpha Trion, Ultra Magnus, Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, First Aid, Darth Traya, Darth Nihilus, Darth Sion, Omni Man, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Talahasse, Columbus, Witchita, and Little Rock w/ the White Sword in the Zombieland Hummer, Sandworms #1-6

Week 5 Democracy: Dolla 49 McRib vs TEAM

Dolla 49 Mcrib is Doomsday, Bizarro Superman, Wonderwomen, Steppenwolf, Dr Strange and Wong, Fin Fang Foom, Manderin, Anti Monitor, Dr Fate, Sentry, Darth Malak w/ Anti Life Equation, Spectre, Dr Midnight, Hourman, Starman, Optimus Prime w/ The Matrix of Leadership, and Ares

TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Ego, God Emperor Leto, Thanos and Maw, Thunderstrike, Soundwave and his tapes: Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Garboil, Glit, Enemy, and Howlback, The Constructicons; Merge to Form Devastator: Hook, Bonecrusher, Mixmaster, Long Haul, and Scrapper, Onslaught, Brawl, Blast Off, Swindle and Vortex, Motormaster, Dragstrip, Dead End, Breakdown, and Wild Rider, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, Momo, Tenzin, Conner Weidman in Conner's Mazda. Yellow Lantern #1, and Phibian #1

2023 Week 4: League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen vs Underhills

League of Extraordinary Hetersexual Gentlemen: Superman, Martian Manhunter, Magneto, Ultron, Commander Ahsoka Tano in TIE Fighter, General Kenobi in A-Wing, Lando and Lobot in Imperial Shuttle, Skylynx, T-X, Thrust, Homelander, Ajax and Beowulf in TIE Reaper

Underhills: General Zod, Neo w/ 2 Blue Lightsabers, Mogo, Aerial Bots combined into Superion, John Stewart, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, Rooster and Hangman in Ebon Hawk, Revan Reborn in TIE Interceptor, Starkiller in X-Wing, Darth Talon in First Order TIE Fighter, Phoenix (Rachel Summers), Meggan, Raven, Transformers #1-5, Xenomnorph Alien #1-20, Sith Marauder #1 in Resistance X-Wing, Sith Marauder #2-

First and foremost, Magneto is present so… hold up, let’em cook. Don’t hate the writer here, it’s just how the match happened, I can’t do anything about it. He has cooked, and the following are now Rest in Pieces: Aerial Bots, Rooster and Hangman in Ebon Hawk, Starkiller in X-Wing, Darth Talon in First Order TIE Fighter (cause in poo-poo empire spaceship), Transformers #1-5, Sith Marauder #1-3, Skylynx, T-X, Thrust, and Magneto (accidentally caught a stray from himself). Also, don't question the logistics of this, it just happened.

Now, onto the rest of the match with a little less pesky metal moving about. We’ll take our omnipresent eye and focus it on The Underhills who set up camp on their teammate, Mogo. General Zod, a maniacal mastermind, has taken the reigns of The Underhills squad as the team is on a deep space exploration of the universe. At this time, Ultron is also leading The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen (LEHG) on a space exploration. Ahsoka Tano’s home planet, Shili, is riddled with blight and it’s not looking good long-term. LEHG decided to help the Togruta species find a new home. Lucky for them, a wormhole was placed within close distance to Shili. Ultron leads the team through the wormhole in hopes of a habitable planet on the other side… 

To LEHG’s delight, they exit out of the wormhole to a large green planet before them. It seems very promising for the Togruta that they may have a habitable world. LEHG descends onto the planet to take a closer look. As they approach, Revan Reborn intercepts the squad in his TIE interceptor (get it… cause he intercepts in an interceptor… get it?). He calls out on the radio, “This planet is off limits to everyone, you must halt your approach and turn around or you will be met with violence.” Unfortunately, with how all political communication in the modern world seems to go, LEHG does not receive the message and continue their approach. Revan no longer waits and pushes forward to shoot down the A-Wing. General Kenobi, a decent flier with added force powers is able to dodge the first attack. However, the shots catch Lando and Lobot in the Imperial Shuttle. On Revan’s second flyby, he catches shots onto the A-Wing, damaging the shields but not a fatal hit. Instead, Homelander heat visions through one of Revan’s wings and causes him to crash into a mountain. The destruction above catches the attention of The Underhills and it appears that LEHG is attacking Mogo. But of course, LEHG sees it as The Underhills attacking them. Quite the predicament.

Nonetheless, Homelander continues his advance after taking out the Reborn force user. He is met with Neo, the chosen one, wielding two blue lightsabers. Homelander, in his arrogant and vicious mentality, regards Neo as but a petty human. Neo can’t possibly be a match to the mighty Homelander, the super powerful Superman rip-off with an added sense of Gen Z mental issues. Although, it doesn’t matter because Neo has already split Homelander in two with his wicked glow sticks. Meanwhile, the Xenomorphs are being treated like firing squad victims from the ships piloted by Ahsoka Tano, Kenobi, and Ajax/Beowulf. Phoenix sees this and realizes she needs to provide air support. Kenobi’s A-Wing is made quick work, considering his shields were already damaged. Phoenix then takes out Ahsoka’s ship while Ajaz/Beowulf decide to kamikazee into Phoenix. Luckily, Ahsoka was able to bail out before her ship was destroyed. At the same time, John Stewart along with the Green and Blue Lanterns are able to subdue Ultron through the help of Mogo, boosting the power of the Green Lanterns. They are able to place him in a prison, not unlike what Parallax was put in.

By now, General Zod has put together a plan to take out Superman. Who else would it involve other than Lois Lane. Superman approaches Zod to realize he is holding Lois captive, “Don’t do this Zod, let her go.” Zod responds with a simple answer… he snaps Lois’ neck. Zod, unfortunately, did not understand the result this would give in Superman. Instead of crippling from sadness, all Superman could see was red. Without hesitation, he flies straight through Zod, detaching his head from the rest of his body. The Green and Blue Lanterns attempt to subdue Superman like they did Ultron… there was no chance for them, Superman has started to kill anything in sight.

The Martian Manhunter sees what Superman is doing and he tells Ahsoka to leave, as fast as she can telling her to return to Shili and never come back here. They find her a spare ship and she flies towards the wormhole they arrived in.

Raven tells John Stewart and Neo to give her as much time as they can spare. Mogo decides he can help too, and makes his entrance into the fight, and he recognizes the Martian lifeform traveling along the planet. Mogo remembers it like it was yesterday when the Guardians gave the Martians a genetic fear of fire due to their unmatched power. All he needed to do was create a ring of fire around the Martian Manhunter and bam, he’s subdued for the fight.

John, returning to battle, notices something odd about Lois’ body… its changing shape back into… Meggan! Stewart realizes that Lois isn’t actually dead and his old friend Superman needs to realize this before he kills everything in sight. It’s too late though, Superman dashes to John Stewart and puts a hand through his chest. In his last gasps of air he tells Superman, “Lois… isn’t dead… it was a… shapeshifter…” Superman pauses, confused at what he’s heard. He flies back to Lois’ body only to realize his old friend was right, Lois isn’t dead. A wave of relief comes over him, but he starts to see the destruction around him and is struck with sorrow. This moment of pause is all Raven needed, John Stewart had provided her enough time to use her magic powers to conjure a kryptonite kyber crystal and tosses it to Neo. He swaps it into one of his Lightsabers and throws it directly into Superman’s back.

For some reason, Mogo stopped the fire. It was plenty of time for the Martian Manhunter to swoop into Neo. Neo, thinking the battle is one, doesn’t see the Martian approach him. Neo’s neck didn’t survive the encounter. The Martian switches direction towards Raven, but she simply teleports him to a hellscape for him to spend the rest of his eternity in fire…

Week 4 Consortium: David Byrne's Meat Suits vs Doctor's Madhouse

David Byrne's Meat Suits: Galactus and herald David Byrne, Hal Jordan, Captain Kirk, Enterprise Commander, Enterprise Lieutenants, Enterprise Crew members 1-5 all in the USS Enterprise, The Leader in the Mario 2 spaceship, Guy Gardner, Atrocitus, Nite Owl, The Comedian, Silk Spectre, Ozymandius, Rorschach, Freddy Krueger, Omnius, Reverse Flash, Vladimir Harkonen, Stormtroopers 1-20, Pounce and Wingspan, Junkeons 1-9, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Deadpool, Deathstroke, Chip and Dale

Doctors Madhouse: Brainiac w/ Brainiac’s Skull Ship, Darth Vader w/ Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter, Jango Fett w/ Slave I, Padme Amidala w/ Naboo Starfighter, Clone Troopers #1-10 w/ Republic Shuttle, SHIELD Agents #1-10 w/ Quinjet, John and Ted w/ Y-Wing, Ranx The Sentient City, Dr Manhattan, Silver Surfer, Abeloth, Captain Marvel, Nova (Richard Rider), Hancock, Kryptonian #1-3, Yellow Lantern Ring #3, Parademon #1-6

The Sigmaz Vs. TEAM

 The Sigmaz are Edrik and Suerat in The Dream Voyager, Vorian Atreides in a Sith Fighter, Samus in a flying saucer, Goku, Mega Man and Rush, Master Chief in a Naboo Starfighter, The Terminator (3), The Dino-bots:  Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, & Swoop, Six Shot, Sunstorm, The Unambomber in an Iron Man Suit, Odin, Kratos, Atreus, & Fenrir, Tokka & Razhar, The Shredder, Wakandan #1-6, Domestic Terrorist #1-6, Goblin #1-6, and The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann commanded by Malcom X (in a Vibranium Suit, w/ a green lightsaber) & Barack Obama.

TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Ego, Thunderstrike, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, ravage, Laerbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Wingthing, Garboid, Glit, Howlback, & Enemy, The Constructicons:  Hook, Bonecrusher, Mixmaster, Long Haul, Scrapper, & Scavenger, The Combaticons:  Onslaught, Brawl, Blast-Off, Swindle, & Vortex, The Stunticons:  Motor Master, Drag Strip, Dead End, Breakdown, & Wild Rider, Reece & Darrin and John Wisz w/ Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad in an Enterprise Shuttle.  

    Malcom X stands proudly at the bridge of The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann as The Sigmaz patiently await his promised oration to the troops.  They stand at attention as Malcom approaches the microphone.  A microphone that is barely required as one could hear a pin drop as they silently clamor for instruction from their fearless leader.  Not a solitary hair is without standing up on the arms and necks of The Sigmaz as Malcom begins:  

  "My fellow Sigmaz, the time has come for us to take on a battle the likes of which many of you have never dreamed.  We face an enemy whose reputation for success is matched only by their historic brutality and sheer evil.  We shall be tested this day, in the unending night sky of the final frontier known as space.  The powers that be in this corrupt, morally bankrupt, and rigged matrix of control have hailed the arrogantly titled TEAM as the single greatest space force that has ever been created.  They say that they cannot possibly be defeated.  They would have you believe that today's match pairing was done at random, that before the rosters were created this schedule was already predetermined and that this was not orchestrated as a deliberate conspiracy to destroy our honorable and most holy goal of liberation.  But we as Sigmaz know better.  We see through the lies of the League and know that they wish to destroy us.  They underestimate our strength, they underestimate our resolve, and they underestimate our willingness to do what must be done.  We launch today in the single most powerful ship to ever be introduced into The FFL.  The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann will vaporize anything this league, this universe and this so called tEAM has to offer.  You....  You ALL.  YOU Sigmaz.......  You shall be witnesses.  Our plan is without flaw.  Our strategy without blemish.  And our will without weakness.  Today we retake what should have always been ours.  We strike out, not simply against tEAM; but against a system that would have us be slaves.  None of us chose this fight; but it is upon us and we shall seize this day as recompense for the slights against us.  Remember my troops, my friends, my Sigmaz.....  That.....  WE DID NOT LAND UPON THE FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE.  THE FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE, LANDED ON US".  

The vast halls of the Sigmaz headquarters erupt with cheers and applause as Malcom X drops the microphone and the crew prepares for take off.  As Malcom finishes putting on his vibranium suit, he turns to his left and sees a beautifully maincured Nubian hand reaching out to him holding his solid tungsten lightsaber, marked with a large white X.  His protege Barack as he hands Malcom his lightsaber says:  "We shall be Kings once more, My Liege".  

The entire Sigmaz Squad, the ships included begin the skirmish inside The STTGL; but as they approach TEAM Territory, The Dream Voyager, Sith Fighter, Flying Saucer, Naboo Starfighter, Swoop, Sunstorm, and Six Shot in his Jet Form exit the massive STTGL and take flanking positions as they break into attack formation.      

Unicron senses the danger approaching.  "No one defies Unicron" he says aloud; but for a brief second thinks to himself *Or do they*......  The massive Transformer planet even reaches out to his ever dormant brother Primus, telling him it is time for his transformation, so they may fight against this encroaching foe together once more; but the massive metal, Transformer god still waits in his planet form for one to truly be a threat to his existence.   

Malcom's plan is a direct one.  He knows that The STTGL is unmatched in its space power; but that even it, cannot be in two places at once.  Which is why only he and Barack are privy to the last stage of their plan.  As The STTGL moves against some of the Galaxy Dominators of TEAM, He and Barack themselves will make a calculated strike at the spark of Unicron and take him out themselves.  A truly daring and dangerous mission that the activist turned team leader simply cannot entrust to anyone but himself.  To begin, the plan could not possibly have been executed better.  The massive living planet known as Ego, has moved into the same Solar System as Primus in an attempt to awake the sleeping giant that can surely bring about the demise of even The STTGL itself.  If and only if Primus decides to come out of his state of dormancy and actually transform from the planet form he has retained for several million years into either his mythical spaceship or monstrous robot forms.  While The STTGL moves into position, several other skirmishes break out around the larger battle at hand.  The Constructicons merge to form Devastator and naturally begin battling with one of their arch enemies The Dino-bots.  The Dino-bots have an amazing knack of finding a way to hang with any opponent no matter the power scale; but we all have seen the original 80s Transformer movie and know what goes down when they try to take out Devastator (Wait......  Everyone reading this has seen the original cartoon Transformers Movie.......  Right???  If they have not, it is required viewing to be in this league and need to promptly schedule an appointment to view it at Josh's House on its intended VHS form ASAP).  Anyway, the battle may be taking place on an errant asteroid in space, instead of earth but the outcome is the same as Devastator takes out the five Dino-bots complete with dinosaur robot eye-popping action.  With the destruction of the Dino-bots, Malcom orders all available, space-worthy troops to deploy from The STTGL and do as much damage as possible.  He realizes that he puts their lives severely at risk by doing this; but he views this as a necessary sacrifice to the cause.  No single Sigmaz life is worth more than cause, and the cause requires victory.  Victory he plans to achieve today.  Thunderstrike brings the hammer down on Goku with authority; but is then ratioed by his old man Odin with a proverbial god-spanking.  Six Shot and Sunstorm blast out of formation with the other ships; but find that despite their significant Transformer power, that they can't exactly hang with TEAM in that arena.  They witness Soundwave eject all fourteen of his cassettes; but before they can even deal with that they are each crushed by a massive Gestalt.  Six Shot is capable of fighting toe to toe with any Transformer out there; but still wasn't enough to take down all five Stunticons once they merged to form Menasor, the same scenario played out as The Combaticons merged to form Bruticus and took out Sunstorm despite his potent solar blasts.  Darrin, Reece, J-Dub, and Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad are partying it up in the Enterprise Shuttle that they barely know how to fly; but luckily they have enough booze on board to get their butthouse on.  Darrin works the guns and is able to take out several errant goblins and domestic terrorists who are free-floating about, while Reece attempts to work the flight controls.  As Maker's Mark, Bush Light, and fresh ash from cigars and other lightable smoke treats flip about the small hull of the shuttle they come to the adept conclusion that spinning is most certainly NOT flying; but it is a good trick.  Master Chief flies in fast in his Naboo Starfighter in an attempt to take out Soundwave; but before he can reach the O.G. Decepticon G.O.A.T., he and his ship are engaged by Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and Wingthing.  Master Chief is able to target Wingthing and take him out with two proton torpedos, but cannot repeat the feat and is destroyed by Laserbeak and Buzzsaw.  The gods of old test their skills against the advanced science of Cybertron and find that in this particular setting their power set may be lacking.  Bruticus as if to make an example quickly breaks the neck of the huge Wolf Fenrir, knocking Kratos and Atreus from his back.  But the two powerhouses fight back and are actually able to break apart the Gestalt into its five smaller parts, killing Onslaught and Brawl in the process.  Devastator and Menasor are able to team up on Odin to take him out; and then continue the team up, while they aid the remaining Combaticons against The god of War and his son, who despite engaging a pitched battle with the combiners eventually fall to their might.  Mega Man and Rush are taken out by Rumble, Frenzy, and Enemy in a fight that would make this writer's wildest nerd dreams come true if it were to happen engage in a wicked throw down with Mega Man and Rush.  Trust me when I tell you, that it takes a really long time and that once this epic story is turned into a movie it will be a cinematic masterpiece.  But until then for all intents and purposes just know that Rumble and his two robot/cassette/dude/brothers were able to take out the boy Mega Man and his dog.  Vorian Atreides in his Sith Fighter managed to obliterate Howlback and Garboid; but once Squawktalk and Beastbox merged to form the mini-gestalt Squawkbox, the Butlerian pilot's reign of Decepticon terror came to a close.  The Dream Voyager and its crew were ordered by Malcom himself to get in close to the living planet of Ego, but they were unaware that they, like much of this battle were merely a diversion set in place to achieve Malcom's goal of the absolute destruction of TEAM through unconditional victory.  Edrik and Suerat are both did in as their ship is sucked in by the botanical defenses of the planet.  Samus blasts Slugfest out of the air (or lack there of); but has special orders known only to her by Malcom X himself.  So she circles back in her Flying Saucer in t a secret hatch in the rear of The STTGL.  The Unabomber received a similar order for his ears only and circled back to said rendezvous point after deploying blasts from his Iron Man Suit to blow up both Glit and Buzzsaw.  The third Terminator managed to make his way to do battle with Soundwave himself, while the rest of Soundwave's tape buddies took out the remaining goblins and domestic terrorists along with Wakandan #3-6.  The Terminator was able to put a couple of decent sized dents in Soundwave, but eventually came up short before he was able to do any permanent damage.  

Inside the STTGL, Malcom and Barack lead a small contingent of a command crew to the secret hatch in the back of the massive ship.  Only the black power duo, Shredder, and their two most trusted African bodyguards, Wakandan #1 & 2 exit the emergency shaft with them and enter the small flying saucer piloted by Samus.  They are joined by the Unabomber as well, as his terrorist specialties may yet be required if Malcom's master plan is to come to fruition.  Once on board, Malcom orders Samus to get as far away from The STTGL as possible.  Tokka and Razhar were left on board with the job to "start pressing these big buttons" once things start shaking.  The flying saucer gains distance from The Sigmaz Mother Ship as The STTGL slowly moves in-between the two sentient planets known as Ego and Primus.  Once Ego and Primus begin to engage the ship with automatic defensive counter-measures The STTGL begins rattling, causing the two not so bright mutants Tokka and Razhar to start to freak out and begin slamming on buttons triggering the self destruct of The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann causing the hugest explosion ever recorded and taking both Primus and Ego out in the process.  

Now.  With Primus and Ego destroyed, only one final leg of the plan need be executed.  Only Malcom X, Barack Obama, The Shredder, Wakandan #1 & 2, The Unabomber, and Samus remain for The Sigmaz.  Piled in together in a solitary Flying Saucer, these brave remaining Sigmaz will attempt to carry out Malcom's plan of travelling to the nearby galaxy, then perfectly performing a strafing run that will lead to a well-aimed strike that will then destroy the spark of Unicron and bring victory to The Sigmaz.  

The enormous Unicron awaits his attackers, already in robot form and prepared for the attempt on his life.  Samus, now with a perfect view of the Planet Transformer navigates the saucer swiftly and she begins to move into position for their attack run.  She takes a deep breath and murmers just loud enough for the inhabitants of the ship to hear:  "They wuz kings"........  

And with that Unicron swung his gargantuan hand in a downward motion and smashed the flying saucer into scrap.

Hold up.....  Wait a second.  You all didn't really think Malcom X in a flying saucer was going to take out Unicron....  Did you??