Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid, Megatron, Decepticon #5, Apocalypse, Ultron (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, Power Stone, & Time Stone), He-Man, Battle Cat, Amazo, Gannondorf, Dante, Alexander, Dinobot, Ancient Ginaz Swordmaster #10, and Neo-Cymek #10
Monday, March 17, 2025
Darkseid's Horsemen of Apocalypse Vs. The Sigmas
Friday, March 14, 2025
Week 3 Staff Consortium: The Doctors Madhouse vs The Sigmaz
Madhouse: Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Hayt, Stilgar, Jamis, Harah, Chirox, Chris Artrip: Fremen Warrior, Captain Atom, Red Tornado, Firestorm, Nova (Richard Rider), Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien, Kid Flash, Pyro, Cykill, Crasher, and Cop-tor, Star Sapphire #2
Sigmaz: Vorian Atreides and Seurrat, Manfor Torondo and Anari Idaho, Barbarossa, Xerxes, Brightburn, Death, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, The Grand Inquisitor, 7th Sister, 8th Brother, Klowthrow, Akrtropaw, and Lakesis, Scorpnonk and Lord ZarakWednesday, March 12, 2025
The Underhills Vs. David Byrne's Meat Suits
The Underhills are: Norma Cenva, Ghanima Atreides, Tamerlane, Chief Priest Hedley Tuek, Fish Dancer #1-20, Raven, Neo (w/ 2 blue lightsabers), Hangman in a F-18, Rooster in a F-18, Iroh, X-Man, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Skydive, Fireflight, Slingshot, & Air Raid, The Predacons: Razorclaw, Divebomb, Rampage, Headstrong, and Tantrum, Darth Talon, and Jedi Guardian #1-2.
David Byrne's Meat Suits are: King Bumi, Bumi, Guy Gardner, Deadpool, Shao Kahn (w/ a scythe and a personal Holtzman Shield), Deathstroke, Sagat, Pikachu, Piplup, The Last Autobot, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, Brainiac 5, Optimus Primal, Sentinel Prime, Madeline Pryor, Captain Caveman, Metallo, and Uruk Hai #10.
Tuesday, March 11, 2025
Week 3 Democracy: The Scorched Remains of Wallach IX: Dolla 49 McRib Vs. The Cowboy Killers
Dolla 49 McRib is Doomsday, Bizarro Superman, Wonder Woman, The Anti-Monitor (w/ the reality stone), Dr. Fate, The Sentry, Steppenwolf (w/ anti life equation), The Technibots: Afterburner, Nosecone, Strafe, Lightspeed, and Scattershot, Harkonen Soldier #1-10, Atreides Soldier #1-10, Kryptonian #1-3, Sardakur #1-3, Black Lantern Jedi Master, & Blue Lantern #1.
The Cowboy Killers are Sandworm #1A-10A, Aang (w/ Star Sapphire Ring), Paralax, Ghost Rider (Danny Ketch), Mephisto, Homelander, Beast Wars Megatron, Sky Lynx, King Beerus, Ajax, Hecate, & Cobra Viper #1-7.
Monday, March 10, 2025
Grayson's Goobers Vs. Bill Cosby and Scar-Jo's Leather Pansted Trash Pandas
Grayson's Goobers are Shadow the Hedgehog (w/ The Chaos Emeralds), Espio the Chameleon, (Legends) Luke Skywalker (w/ a blue lantern ring), R2-D2, Alan Scott, Red Hulk, Black Knight, Sub-Zero, Samurai #8, and Eternian Soldier #8.
FFL 2025, Week 2: TEAM vs. The Washington Redskins
TEAM are: Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, Vah Naboris, Josh Houslander: Swordmaster of Ginaz, Laya Houslander with a Nodachi, Scarlett Houslander, Grayson Houslander, Yakub, Yunobo, Mel Gibson, Set, Dave Parks: Tree Wizard, Tenzen, Ron Burgundy, Champ, Brick, Brian, Veronica, and Baxter.
The Washington Redskins are: Professor Xavier w/ White Lantern Ring, Sinestro, Cade Skywalker, Bat-Mite w/Dwarf Ring #6, Indigo one, Munk, Air Zonk, and Black Dragon #8.
Tremendous, awe-inspiring, perhaps a bit underpriced: The Divine Beasts of Calamitous Hyrule tower about the Rito Village, high on the plateau. Rudania clings to a cliff on the outskirts of the village while Ruta and Naboris flank the huts on either side. Medoh traces lazy rings in the air above. When Professor X and Sinestro arrive, it isn’t the Beasts that draw their attention, but a powerful psychic energy source lurking in the forest below the waiting Rudania. Unnoticed by the constructs, the Professor glides down to the source in a wheelchair of pure White light.
Down on the planks of the village proper, Josh Houslander guards his family against the coming attack. At his side is a rapier; in his hand, a Sardaukaur long blade. Likewise, he has equipped Laya with a Nodachi. A difficult sword to master, but he has trained her well. With them, the Channel Four News Team shuffle awkwardly, not sure what to do with their hands or feet or other appendages. Little do they know, in another hut nearby, Indigo One and Munk are preparing their attack on Vah Medoh with Air Zonk and Bat Mite, equally unaware of the Houslander Clan’s existence.
Professor Xavier reaches the trees and finds a disheveled man wearing a tunic of leaves and bark, hiding among the leaves. He chucks a handful of acorns viciously, which Sinestro brushes aside with the swipe of a yellow claw. As the acorns hit the ground below, they explode and toss handfuls of dirt a foot or two in the air. “Well that’s curious. Were those ordinary acorns?”, asks Charles. Rather than await an answer, he uses his mind to probe that of the Tree Wizard before him, while his White ring probes his very soul. “Remarkably enough, it turns out you are indeed a mutant.” The Wizard scratches his beard and thinks for a split moment. “So you’re saying I was born like this?”
“No, it appears to be a mutation from all the smoking. You have terminally badass supercancer. And Tree Aids.”
“I drink the blood of the redwood, for mana and nourishment.”
“You’re actually kind of an inbred mess, too, typical Celtic ancestry.”
From behind the tree, a figure with an enormous melanized cranium emerges, his arms wide in prideful invitation. “Yes, witness my greatest creation! The purest white man, product of the barbaric Saxons and the regressive stock of the British Isles!” Again, wasting no time, the Professor probes Yakub’s mind, but the powerful genius of the first race traitor to the Kings of Old Africa overwhelmed him and he fell from his light-chair to the dusty ground, blood gushing from his nose as he lay motionless. Sinestro, in rebuttal, conjures Yakub’s greatest fear - his fellow (yellow) black men. In moments, they have dragged him off to face justice for his crimes. “No, my liege!” screams the Tree Wizard, falling off his branch. Sinestro grabs him and finishes the job, but all the while, Rudania has turned its gaze upon him, and fires its Divine Beast laser to obliterate Sinestro just as Yunobo begins barreling down from his side to the village below.
Back in the town, Josh pokes his head out to see the Goron’s dust trail tearing toward the town. No sooner than he does, he turns his head to see the Indigo Lanterns fly toward the great mechanical bird with Bat-Mite and the Megaman clone. Bat-Mite and Air Zonk disappear within, and in moments Medoh is nosediving to the ground. Bat-Mite reappears without Zonk in the blink of an eye, in an aviator costume, and grabs Indigo One by the collar. “He didn’t make it, you hear me? Oh, he gave it all he had and now there’s nothing left!” He slides to the “floor” at the level of the hovering Lantern’s feet and rolls around sobbing. “He took every last bogey with him, the mad madman. Yakub bless his soul!” At this moment, Yunobo arrives at the village and unrolls, waving his beefy arms frantically at Josh. Not recognizing the warning in time, Josh is shot through the chest from behind by Cade Skywalker who has snuck into the village amidst the chaos and collapses. The Goron charges at him and manages to take him down, but not before he throws a grenade into the hut with the waiting News Team and Houslanders. Laya, who was running out to her wounded father, is tossed out the door by the blast. She scrambles to her feet and to her father’s side. With his dying breath, he bequeaths her his Sardaukar blade. She takes it up to fight alongside Yunobo. Elsewhere, alongside the burning treeline, the hand bearing the White Lantern ring twitches…
As Bat-Mite and the Indigo Tribe members finish giving Rudania the same treatment they did Medoh, the remaining two Divine Beasts set their lasers upon the trio. The Lanterns are destroyed in an instant, while Bat-Mite begins to writhe in melodramatic pain, falling slowly through the air, striking poses of contorted anguish. “Aaah, EEEEE, oh the weakness I’m feeling from the weakness rays!” Laya runs over and drives the blade through him just as he lands on the ground. “Aiiieeee, you got me good, I’m done for!” He smirks; “Whoops, dragon”. As his eyes turn to crosses and a lily springs from the hands clasped at his chest, a black dragon appears in the air above them, laying waste to Vah Naboris with a foul spray of pure entropy. As Vah Ruta moves to brace and retaliate, Xavier reappears in a flash of white light at the edge of the battlefield. Then, a voice boomed from another wooded patch not so far away - “STOP THIS AT ONCE!” Yakub staggers out, beaten but alive, supported on the shoulders of Tenzin and Mel Gibson. “Thank you, my minions. Xavier! You are defeated, you cannot fathom that which is within my mind!” Xavier holds his ring aloft. “Then I won’t leave it intact,” He creates a bubble that expands from the center of Yakub’s head, blasting it apart and taking his two friends' faces off in the process. From his skull emerges the unleashed elder serpent Set, filling the village in an instant, crushing Xavier underfoot as it grabs the black dragon from the sky.
Saturday, March 8, 2025
Week 2: Darkseid's Horsmen of Apokolips vs The Cowboy Killers
Followers of the End: Darkseid, Ultron w/ The Infinity Gauntlet including the Power and Time Stones, Tulin w/ 2 Katana Blades, Agent Smith (final death) w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Red Robin w/ 2 Ninja Swords, Grand Admiral Thrawn w/ Green Lantern Ring in a Phoenix TIE Fighter
Marlboro Reds: Harry Potter, Professor McGonagall, Storm, Aang w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Commander Ahsoka Tano in Ahsoka’s Starfighter, Cal Kestis, BD-1, 2 Mandalorian #3A-#4A, Kyle Houslander Dunadan Ranger, Ancient Sith Lord #1
“Welcome to Rito Village!” Tulin speaks from his beak to the Hateful Eight Cowboy Killers who dare step into these protected lands. One may be confused on the numerical literacy of Tulin for the sweet sweet cigarette crew counts more than 8 individuals. However, the common folks don’t have rights in these parts, and Tulin’s eye can see Snips circling in the distance with her starfighter, thus rounding out this wandering crew of 8 individuals.
“Odd… it shows similarities to the airbending temples” says the GOAT avatar (Korra could suck it). “Shame it all must come down.”
Tulin flaps his wings, “Come down you say?” The bird-like creature turns to retreat to a higher elevation in the village while saying over shoulder, “You’ll wish you never came here…”
Immediately following, the Village’s first line of defense takes the form of a master strategist confined to a mere Phoenix TIE fighter who opens fire on the new visitors of Rito. The Grand Admiral was able to strike down the common mandos and singular sith lord. Although, it is a shame he is forced into a machine that stands no chance to the fierce Ahsoka Tano who makes quick work of the opposing pilot.
Ahsoka continues her onslaught as she reigns down hellfire on the village. She obliterates everything in her path for she is simply the most powerful star wars character to have ever fought. This Horsemen team is being killed one by one until it appears everyone is dead and the Cowboy Killers have no work left to do.
Kyle Houslander, the wise Dunadan Ranger, reflects on the victory that is had here, “It seems too easy. I don’t see how Alex Houslander could think he will win it all again. He just had one person kill his entire team. Look at Darkseid’s body here, slain with such simplicity.”
As watcher of this match, I too am confused by the manner in which such a victory has been earned. This match was short and had no suspense, but I suppose the Cowboy Killers are—
Wait, the landscape is… reversing? It appears the village fires are going out and the Horsemen are regaining life. And now a purple blast strikes the Commander’s ship instantly exploding it.
“What magic is this??” Demands Professor McGonagall.
“No magic, simple creature. I control all, and I will stop you creatures so that peace can occur.” Ultron’s voice echoes over the village. The glare of his Gauntlet shines across all, for it was the time stone who did this work.
The second attack wave of Horsemen contains all their might. Agent Smith appears to be on another level of hatred as he destroys Kyle Houslander and BD-1. But mess with the droid and you mess with Cal Kestis, junkyard dawg, who ferociously leaps towards the man in black… only to be split in two, for Agent Smith and his own lightsabers are too much for the Jedi to handle.
“AVADA KEDAVRA” a green bolt strikes down the suited man. “I’ve always wanted to use that spell!” Professor McGonagall grins.
“PROFESSOR” exclaims Harry, “I thought we aren’t supposed to use that spell, it’s unforgivable!”
“If you want to walk out of here alive, you better start using it” replies McGonagall.
The professor shoots another green bolt to the sky and takes down the Rito bird known as Tulin. Harry is disgusted by his mentor’s actions, it’s despicable for her to throw away all her morals… in his state of confusion, Red Robin has been able to sneak up and find his blade into the back of the boy who lived. Aang sees this act too late, but is at least able to airbend Tim Drake off the edge of the village where he falls to his death.
McGonagall is heartbroken to see Harry die, but she is blessed with a quick death from Darkseid and she will never have to come to terms with that death.
Darkseid turns towards the remaining two Killers trying to end this fight quickly, but the combined atmospheric control by Storm and the airbending skills of Aang is enough force to tear the new god apart. The ruler of Apokolips is absolutely shredded to pieces by the bald headed duo.
“Shame, this town suffers because of your interference. Remember that for your next life Avatar, perhaps you’ll be so lucky not to meet me again.You asked for this town to come down, and that it will.” Ultron finishes the last words with a purple blast to the village floor that spreads and spreads until the entire village explodes.
Thursday, March 6, 2025
Week 2 Staff Consortium: David Byrne's Meat Suits vs Doctor's Madhouse
Meat Suits: Villager and Isabelle, Moon Knight, Shao Khan w/Scythe and Personal Holtzman Shield, Hank Henshaw w/Yellow Lantern Ring, Airbenders #1-4, Chun Li, One Punch Man, Jade, Black Lantern Goblin, Black Lantern Star Sapphire
Doctors Madhouse: Rogue, Miles Morales, Spider Gwen, Peni Parker, Spider-Ham, Spider-Punk, Spider-Man India, Spider-Byte, Spider-Noir, Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien, Elf #1-7Tuesday, March 4, 2025
The Underhills Vs. The Sigmaz
The Underhills are Iroh, X-24, Abomination, X-Man, Samwise Gamgee (w/ a blue lantern ring), Miguel O' Hara (w/ a green lantern ring), and Pterodactyl #1
The Sigmaz are Link (w/ Ancient Armor) on Link's Motorcycle, Zelda (w/ Bubble Flower), Daruk (w/ Dusk Claymore), Urbosa (w/ helicopter helmet), Revali (w/ topaz rod), Mipha, Master Hand, Odin, and Domestic Terrorist #1-5
Week 2 Democracy: Dolla 49 McRib Vs. The Sigmas in Rito Village
Dolla 49 McRib is Knull, Dr. Stange, Wonder Woman, Blue Beetle, Cyborg, and Dragon #1-3.
The Sigmas are Legolas, Pit, Anakin Skywalker, King Manwe, Smaug, Darkhawk, and Army Soldier #1-7.
Everyone in the league will have until 9:00 AM on Monday to vote.