Sigmaz vs. Trash Pandas

 Sigmaz: Eren Yeager, 10 domestic terrorists, T3, The Shredder, Tokka and Razhar, Master Chief, Simon Belmont, Jigglypuff, The Joker, Azula Tai Lee, Mai, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir, Goblin w/ AR15, 6 more goblins

Trash Pandas: Zaheer, Ghazan, P'Li, Ming-Hua, John Wick w/Dead Dog, Trinity, Vision, Pakku, Naruto, Amon, T-1000, Lucius Malfoy, Autobots 1-4

It was a dark cold night at Hogwarts.  Without the leader ship of Malcom X the Sigmaz have taken shelter in the Hogwarts school.  They are being led by Shredder who is nothing compared to the great Malcom X. 

The Sigmaz sent out the Domestic terrorists into the forbidden forest as scouts along with Eren Yeager, Tokka and Razhar.  Upon searching the forest they come upon someone.  It's a man in a suit holding a dead dog.

"Did you do this" says Mr. Wick

"Rada rada rada" says the domestic terrorists as we have no clue what they are saying in their language.

John Wick starts an onslaught of the terrorists.  It is something they have never seen before.  Their ak47 training was not enough for the assassin.  John Wick wiped out all of the terrorists.

Eren Yeager with ODM gear makes move at John Wick which he evades.  He begins to run deeper into the forbidden forest.  He can't make it far with Yeager having ODM gear, but he just needs to make it a little further.  John Wick is finally hit.  Yeager got him in the back and was ready to execute him.  That is until he realizes its a trap and he was lead to the rest of the Trash Pandas.

Yeager quickly transforms into a titan because that is his only chance to make it out alive.  While doing so he crushes the body of John Wick.  The noise of Eren turning into a titan causes Tokka and Razhar to come to his aid.

Eren quickly destroys the autobots of the Trash Pandas rendering them useless in battle.  The airbenders of the Trash Pandas quickly take to the defense.

"Shadow Clone Jitsu" yells out Naruto

Over 50 shadow clones quickly appear.  Eren is confused on who the real Naruto is.  The attacks are coming quick and Eren has to take the defense.  Naruto knows how to take the titan down.  The real Naruto waits for his chance and uses his Kunai to slice open the nape of the Titan.  What Eren didn't realize is Naruto upon cutting the nape left an explosive tag which then explodes killing the Giant titan.

The airbenders made quick work of Tokka and Razhar.

"Forward to the school" screams Naruto

Arriving at the school. Azula, Tai Lee, and Mai are guarding the entrance.

Zaheer says "you guys go on ahead, we can take on the benders"

Zaheer and the other air benders stay back to duke it with the og air benders.  The legend of Korra squad comes out on top but only Zaheer surviving.

Trinity and Vision destroy the lonely Jigglypuff with no remorse.  This pissed off Kratos who went berzerk taking the heads of both Trinity and Vision with his blades of Chaos.

Lucius Malfoy is met by some goblins who stood no chance against someone on their home turf.  The wizard was ruthless and began casting forbidden spells leaving nothing but a pile of dust from the goblins.  Simon Belmont and Master Chief try to counter attack but the wizard is to powerful for them.  Malfoy began to torture the two in order to find the rest of the Sigmaz but the two would not give up their comrades.  

All while this is happening we got a terminator fight going down.  T3 and T100 begin to box it out.  Trading blows.  The advanced technology showing its power.  Once again T3 gets the upper hand on t1000 just like in terminator 2.  Just like the movie though the damage had been done to t3 and he falls over and dies.

This leaves Kratos, Atreus and Fenrir to fend off Naruto.  Naruto and his shaddow clones continue to confuse the enemy but that's all it could do.  They were able to fend them all off leaving just the real Naruto.  He quickly makes a few more shadow clones to pull off the Rasenshuriken.  This kills Atreus and Fenrir.  Leaving a furious Kratos.  Kratos quickly jumps to Naruto.  They begin to fight.  Kratos and his anger begin to take the upper hand as Naruto is gassed from the work he already put in.  

Kratos about to end Naruto's life is blinded by anger and doesn't realize who just walked in.

"Avada Kedavara" says Malfoy.

Kratos is killed by the dark killing curse.

The Joker and Shredder are seen trying to escape.

"Imperio" yells Malfoy

Under the curse Malfoy makes the two fight to the death with Shredder coming out victorious.  He then makes the leader jump off the top of hogwarts to his death.

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM

 Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are The Flash, Sarumon the White, Hermione Granger, Agent Smith (w/ 2 white lightsabers), He-Man and Battle Cat, Ron Weasaly on a Quidditch Broom, Miss Martian, Wonder Girl, Arsenal, & Black Widows #3-5.

TEAM is Alex Houslander, Laya Houslander, Scarlet Houslander, Grayson Houslander, Thanos, Maw, Mace Windu, Thor, Thunderstrike, The Mandalorian, Grogu, The Oracle, and Seraph w/ The Magic School Bus.  

 Many an epic match have begun with the title of The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM.  The true O.G. rivalry of The Fantasy Fantasy League.  Michigan Vs. Ohio State, Yankees Vs. The Red Sox, Lakers Vs. Celtics, Horsemen Vs. TEAM.  Reboots do nothing to change a perfect mix of hatred and respect that exists deep within true rivalries.  

On the way to Hogwarts, the young Alex Houslander speaks to his TEAMmates.  Very interested in the history between these two great franchises.  Conversations abound inside the Magic School as they approach Hogwarts, Alex works as a great hype man for the TEAM with many chants of "LET'S GO" and "YOU ALREADY KNOW", complete with chest thumping and mean tweets about The Horsemen being "straight up trash".  Thanos stands up and exclaims that no matter what happens:  "Darkseid IS MINE", followed by Thor reminding his TEAMmates that his hammer and Supergirl have "unfinished business".  No one questions the Mad Titan or The god of Thunder as they get closer to the school that will soon be a battlefield.  The drive is short, but the memories of those on TEAM are long.  This match shall be one for the annals of The Fantasy Fantasy League.

As The Magic School Bus whimsically rolls into Hogwarts, the Horsemen waste no time defending their school.  The TEAMmembers come rolling out of the bus with military precision in an attempt to get inside the school as quickly as possible as they had planned; but Miss Martian, Wonder Girl, and Arsenal are there to battle with the Bus itself as soon as they arrive.  Everyone on TEAM exits the bus except for Laya and her two youngest siblings.  They were supposed to lend back up from the magic bus itself once the TEAM made it inside; but that plan is ruined right away as the Martian, the marksmen, and the amazon who methodically dodge the attacks of the bus and break it apart piece by piece in a time consuming but well executed attack.  

As the TEAMmembers get inside, The Oracle feels the presence of the one meant to destroy the Matrix, before Agent Smith leaps out of a painting on the wall and attacks.  The Oracle takes cover; but perfectly throws a random spell book off of the ground at Smith knocking one of his white lightsabers out of his hands.  Seraph picks it up and an amazing and well-pitched lightsaber battle ensues between Smith and Seraph.  The fight appears choreographed in its perfection; but as referenced in Matrix lore Agent Smith is ratioed by Seraph who has beat him before.  The protector of that which is most important sends a lightsaber through the throat of the lead Agent.  

The Mandalorian finds himself surrounded by the three black widows, and it is looking like he may be in trouble until Grogu gives a force push towards the three chicks to distract them.  This gives Din the opportunity to use his whistling birds weapon and take out all three assassins at once.  

He-Man is off of Battle Cat and going toe to toe with Thunderstrike.  The man of midgard raises his hammer and calls upon the power of Thor and Odin blowing a hole through the floor and knocking He-Man into it.  The power of Thor rushes through Thunderstrike's whole body; but He-Man is a master of the universe and "HAS THE POWER" as well.   He-Man leaps out of the crevice with the Sword of Power drawn and knocks the human embodiment of Marvel's Thor to the ground with his shield.  He-Man then plunges the sword of Grey Skull into the chest of Thunderstrike.  

Master Mace Windu stumbles into an eery looking classroom to find two young students practicing spells and deep in their studies.  Mace is not at all threatened at first but that quickly changes as Ron and Hermione leap into action.  Mace is powerful; but taken off guard by the spells of the teenagers and does not quite know how to combat them.  He deflects or dodges 90% of the attacks but it is not enough.  With some carefully timed uses of Expelliarmus as well as Petrificus Totalus Master Windu eventually falls to the two young wizards.  

Sarumon the White fights through the telekinetic attacks of Maw and blasts some wicked white light into the face of the cosmic space thug, blowing his head clean off; but this sets off Thanos' rage as he avenges his psuedo-son by ripping Sarumon in two.  

The reason He-Man was without Battle Cat in his battle against Thunderstrike was that the big mean cat was being petted by Laya and her fellow cat whisperer siblings Scarlet and Grayson.  Although they all stop for a moment as Laya tries to get Barry Allen's autograph as he is zooming by.  This does not turn out well as the trio along with their new pet all become trapped in the speed force.

Alex TEAMs up with Mando against two DC bros Arsenal and The Flash.  Mando loses his gun when Arsenal hits it out of his armored hand with a perfectly placed arrow.  The two begin battling hand to hand when The Flash rushes in and sends a flurry of DC's second hardest punches into Mando breaking through his beskar armor and destroying his organs, during the commotion, Alex is able to roll onto the ground, grab Mando's dropped pistol and put a few laser blasts into the chest of Arsenal.  

Thanos is still pissed that he doesn't get to try out his skills against Darkseid who is evidently still at home at Horsemen headquarters riding the bench.  So instead, having done his DC research goes after Wonder Woman.  Obsessed, with taking out one of DC's finest, Thanos doesn't realize that he isn't snapping the neck of Wonder Woman, but her sidekick Wonder Girl instead.  

He-Man brushes the beautiful golden blonde hair away from his face and sees the god of Thunder out of the corner of his eye.  Planning to duplicate his feat from earlier, He-Man rushes in with the same battle plan he used against Thunderstrike.  The Prince of Eternia does not fair quite as well against the true son of Odin though and is over-powered by his bursts of lightning and finished off by a smack to the top of the head by the hammer of Thor.  

Ron is casting spells and flying around on his broom, driving Seraph crazy, when The Oracle protector leaps off of a moving staircase and drop kicks the kid off of the broom, knocking him to the ground.  Winded from the fall Seraph finishes the deed on Ron as he pummels him.  But alas, Seraph may have accomplished this task but he has failed in his prime objective as he notices that as he is finishing his fight that Hermione has blasted the Oracle down into the dungeon depths of Hogwarts, wiping her program from existence.  

Grogu decides to get serious about being a Jedi Mandalorian like he does in every third episode or so and definitely every season finale.  He does a cute face and then does a mean face, then does another cute face while raising up his right hand to do something powerful; but Miss Martian is already caught up on all her Disney Plus shows and knows the gimmick.  She picks up Grogu and smashes him into green goo.  

The rest of The Horsemen and the rest of TEAM meet up in the cafeteria for their final showdown.  Thanos stands center stage ready to take all comers and it is he that The Horsemen move towards first.  They know that they must stick together and combine their powers if they are going to eliminate The Mad Titan from this equation.  The Flash, Hermione, and Miss Martian move in to triple team Thanos and the epic battle begins.  Hermione takes point and leads the charge; but the rest of TEAM move in to help Thanos.  A barrage of speedy punches do a number on Thanos; but Thor sends a potent blast of lightning into the speed force blasting The Flash to bits.  Barry makes sure that the explosion that gets him is directed towards Thanos as well, who then redirects that power into a cosmic blast that shatters Hermione's wand as well as her spine.  Miss Martian in a last ditch effort tries to embody her own character and go full evil white person revealing her true white devil persona; but her mean white head is knocked clean off by the hammer of Thor.  

Thanos lay dying, while Alex Houslander approaches Thor and asks:  "Wow, Thor.  Nice shot.  Do you think we have a chance to make the play-offs still"??

"Aye" Thor begins to reply; but Seraph chimes in instead:

"It matters not.  Our season just became a success".

Week 7 - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Doctor's Madhouse vs Dolla 49 McRib

Doctor’s Madhouse: Albus Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, Darth Vader, Batman, Robin, Alfred w/ Yellow Double Lightsaber, Nightwing, Batgirl, Catwoman, Kid Flash, Yellow Lantern #3, Clone Trooper #1-10

Dolla 49 McRib: King pin, Proffesor McGonagall, Spectre, Sentry, Navy Seals #1-10, 10 Mandalorians, Darth Malak, Dr Strange, Atreides Soldier #1-10, Harkonnen Soldiers #1-10, Deadmen of Dunharrow #1-10, Terminator #1-5

Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the Doctor’s Madhouse are already set up shop in Hogwarts. Dumbledore, Batman, and Darth Vader are having a spirited conversation in the Great Hall about abortion over a delicious meal. 

Every few seconds there’s a “fuck them kids” from Vader whilst Batman wants to adopt every potential aborted fetus to create an assassin army so he can retire; and Dumbledore, a known boomer crazed diddler, is strongly against abortion as he wants as many opportunities and openings as possible.

Draco is immediately questioning the crowd he’s accompanied with as he hears every bit of their loud drunken chatter outside the Great Hall’s doors. 

Kid Flash is zooming through the castle at blazing speeds checking for any members of Dollar 49 McRib as Knightwing, Batgirl, and Robin swing down the staircases throughout the school doing the same. 

Voldemort, furious that he has to follow the orders of Dumbledore, is patrolling the outside castle walls with the remaining commons of the madhouse awaiting an attack from Dolla 49 McRib any minute now.

Dolla 49 McRib enters the scene and drops down in the Forbidden Forest from a sling ring courtesy of Dr. Strange. They silently cruise through the trees as they wipe the BBQ sauce off their face from their McDonald’s catering party in the locker room; which they quickly realized was not the best pre game meal. 

King Pin was suffering so bad that he lost the will to walk from pure obesity and attempted to scream “Business is Boomin” as the McRibs left him behind in the forest while he slowly died from the worst food coma known to man, and they begun their journey. 

Navy Seal #10 wanted all the smoke when he challenged Navy Seal #1 to a swimming contest with the remaining Seals standing by as audience and were to not join the battle; but were seen swimming the surrounding waters of Hogwarts throughout the skirmish. Little did they know they would become the dinner of a gang of Symphonic Amphibians camping there. 

The Spectre flies high above the trees to scout and immediately sees that Yellow Lantern #3 and the Clone Troopers of Dr’s Madhouse are taking the initiative. 

Yellow Lantern #3’s Lantern Ring glows like a star as it sees the Dead Men of Dunharrow and feels the fear they endure. He consumes the souls of the 10 Dead Man and looks for more, as bloodlusted as can be. He then makes quick work of all 10 Atreides Soldiers before The Spectre says no more and turns his ring to dust, making the common fall to his death; the Clone Troopers quickly follow his lead when the Spectre turns them into leaves that gently fall to the ground as Dolla 49 proceeds through the forest. 

Proffesor McGonagall leads the way on the ground and is frightened by the sight of Voldemort but proceeds as they have him severely out numbered. The McRib’s technique and speed helped them get past Voldy fairly easily with only losing the lives of all 5 Terminators and and the Mandalorians whose armor was attracted to the fierce lightning of Voldemort’s wand leading them to death. 

They barge into Hogwarts with no regard to how prepared their Combatants were as McGonogall catches a punch coming in at 700 MPH from Kid Flash launching her 50 feet out the door. Kid Flash then makes quick work of all 10 Harkonnen Soldiers and sends Dr. Strange into a frenzy before Strange teleports him over top of Darth Malak who ignites his lightsaber through his heart. 

Knightwing, Robin, and Batgirl prounce onto the scene and look to get to work but are outmatched by Dr. Strange’s Sorcery and Sentry’s raw strength leaving them bloodied as they make their way through the South Wing and up the grand staircase.

Catwoman’s dumbass has been doing Makeup through the Library Annex mirrors this entire time and kills herself because she comes to the realization that her hobby is reliant on the worst possible house pet in the world and that she is the inferior gender thus having no reason to continue with her useless pathetic life.

Darth Vader feels a disturbance in the force and him and Batman are delighted to see some action when they rush out of the great halls and see the remaining McRib’s scrambling. They’re 7 butter bears in but they are absolutely ready to cook some fools. 

Batman sees the knock off Superman in Sentry and starts cackling before sending a Radion Bullet through his cranium leaving his brains splattered across his mortified teammates. 

Vader tosses his lightsaber aside and uses both his hand to pick up Darth Malak and rip him in half with the force to let em know he HIM and it ain’t close. 

Dr. Strange tries his best but is quickly overwhelmed by Vader and Batman’s sluggish and drunken yet lethal and experienced combat.

The Spectre, watching this whole battle play out and deciding not to intervene, becomes translucent and makes his way towards Dumbledore in the Great Hall. As Albus is having his stache patted dry by Alfred he’s startled by Spectre’s sudden appearance out of thin air. 

The Spectre slowly walks toward Dumbledore and Alfred and retorts. “One way or another, I’m getting this W. For I am god. “

Dumbledore gets up, stumbling. “You don’t get it. I built this place. Down here I make the rules. Down here I make the threats. Down here… I’M GOD.”

Draco, Vader, and Batman come rushing in as they hear Dumbledore cast “Avada Kadavra”.

Even The Spectre couldn’t have predicted this use of dark magic, as he vanished immediately in disbelief.

Albus stood there disappointed in himself, but knew it’s what had to be done. 

They rip celebratory darts and talk about Zach’s dummy thicc dumpy until sun rise.

Week 7 Staff Consortium: League of Heterosexual Gentlemen vs David Byrne's Meat Suits

Heteros: Harry Potter, Bellatrix Lestrange, Professor Mogonagal, Dracula w/power ring, General Kenobi, Sabertooth, Avatar Aang, Hordack, Gannon

Meat Suits: Kosa-Yin Hadu, Nazgul #6 on his Fell Beast, Shao Khan, Unalaq, Desna, and Eska, Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, Sagat, Denethor, Uruk-Hai #1-10, Stormtroopers #1-5, Rocky Balboa, Pee-Wee Herman, Robert Oswald, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Abe Lincoln, Pope Emeritus Benedict in a suit of Armor, Magwai #1-10, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Sandy of Sandy's, The Creeper, Serena and Manion Butler, Benedict Arnold, Gary Habkirk, Airbenders #1-4, Dr. Robert Neville and his dog, John Conner, Axel Foley

The Underhills Vs. The National Alcohol and Zyn Administration

 The Underhills are Prof. Snape, Blue Wizard #1-2, Radaghast the Brown, Arwen Evenstar, The Punisher, Microchip, Raven, Iroh, The Terminator (2), Spider-Man, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, & Jedi Guardian #1-7.

NAZA is The Balrog of Moria, Haggrid, Monkey D. Luffy, Vegeta, Boba Fett, The Sith Triumverate: Darth Traya, Darth Nihilus, & Darth Sion, Omniman, Riggs (w/ a DL-44 Heavy Blaster) & Murtaugh (w/ a Racoon Leaf), Wizard #1-5, & Velociraptor #1-4.

Democracy Week 7: Sigmas vs The Washington Redskins

Sigmas are Han and Chewbacca, Witch King of Angmar on his Mordor Horse, Ki Adi Mundi, Deadshot, Gurney Halleck, Mystique, Morpheus, Chani, Satoro Gojo, The Fury, Jordan Peterson w/ Fire Flower, bene Gesserit

Washington Redskins are Yoda and Chian, Proffesor Xavier, Wolverine, Sinestro w/ White Lantern Ring, Jedi Master #1-10, Jedi Padawan #1-10, Jedi Youngling #1-12, Yaddle w/ Dwarf Ring #7, Chuck Norris w/ The Houslander Family Katana, Dobby, The Ghostbuster: Peter Venkman, Dr. Ray Stanz, Dr. Egon Spengler, and Winston Zeddimore, James Madison, John Adams, Usagi Yojimbo and Jotaro

S14 W6: Sigmas vs TLoEHSG

Sigmas are: The entire following team on an aircraft carrier: Ki Adi Mundi, Qui Gon Jinn, Sardakaur #1-20, Satoro Gojo, Gigachad, Iron Hide, Jhin, Tree Sentinel #1-10, The Fear, The Sorrow, The Pain, The Fury, The End, Griffith, Mouser #1-20, SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Starr, and Gary, Mon-Starr, Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, Muckman and Joe Eyeball, Ramjet, Dirge, and Bene Gesserit #9 & 10 and Ice Man and Slider in a F-14

The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen are: Avatar Aang w/ Star Saphire, Ahsoka Tano, General Kenobi, Martian Manhunter, Superman, Magneto, 21 degens and 2 orc in the 1000 Sunny, Ultron, Van Helsing, Homelander, John Wilks Booth, Robert E Lee

The Sigmas were lost at sea. For two reasons, 1) they never sent in a team so this rag tag crew got thrown together and had no directions. and 2) because they decided the best captain to helm the large aircraft carrier was a sponge.

The sea waves thrashed the giant ship on a planet that is in a constant state of unrelenting storms. The team was exhausted and sick and the battle had yet to even start. Ice Man finally agreed to do a scouting run in the F-14 and they were able to see the lights of Tapoca City up ahead. 

Inside the cloning facility, The Heteros were warm and rested waiting for their opponents to arrive. It had been days but they were happy and being treated very well by the Kaminoans. Suddenly a degen riding an orc came charging in to tell team that the Sigmas had finally arrived. They were wet and soaking because the rest of the team made them stay outside in the 1000 sunny on lookout because they didn’t want to deal with any of their bullshit. 

Ahsoka Tano and General Kenobi charged forward, their lightsabers deflecting the incoming fire as the Sigmas immediately manned the guns and started to take shots at the city structures and supports. The Jedi team moved quickly and fluidly, using their Jedi skills to evade the attacks. Superman, Ultron and Homelander gave them a quick lift and dropped them off on the deck of the ship. The five started to just mow down the exhausted crew on deck. 

Magneto, wasting no time, used his magnetic powers to control the metal of the enemy weapons. He lifted the guns into the air, twisting and contorting them until they were rendered useless. Ice Man and Slider were able to take off in time and went to the sky to shoot down the 1000 sunny. The degens didn’t even see it coming because they were too busy pushing zyns into each other’s assholes. But the ship crashed into the sea and they all ded. It really happened ong no cap. 

Avatar Aang and Star Sapphire combined their powers to create a massive energy shield. The shield was strong enough to protect the entire team from the incoming fire, providing a safe space for them to regroup. Martian Manhunter used his telepathic powers to infiltrate the enemy's mind. He was able to read their thoughts and gain insight into their strategy, providing valuable intelligence to the rest of the team.

On the deck of the ship, Asoka, Kenobi, Ultron, Superman and Homelander charged forward, using their superhuman strength and Jedi strength to plow through the enemy lines. They punched and blasted their way through the soldiers, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Mario and Luigi were killed hundreds of times but they kept respawning. This is because during their bored week at sea, they just jumped on Gary’s shell for fun and racked up a ton of free lives.

Back up on the deck, Van Helsing, John Wilkes Booth, and Robert E Lee provided covering fire, using their guns and rifles to take out any remaining enemy soldiers they could see. They were able to stay back from the front lines, picking off targets from a safe distance until Ice Man flew his plane into the deck of the city in a kamikaze attack. 

Aang figured enough was enough and started a whirlpool that quickly sent the ship spinning and Magneto used his force to push the aft of the ship down while Martian Manhunter lifted the bow. The ship was starting to swirl and was ready to go down like a turd. The Gentlemen made a hasty escape from the deck of the ship but not before Ki Adi was able to out duel Snips and Qui Gon bested his old apprentice. On their flight out, Supes put a hole in the hull of the ship for good measure ensuring no Sigmas remained on board. The remaining Gentlemen regrouped and watched from the city platforms as the last Sigmas sank.

Week 6: Doctor's Madhouse vs TEAM

The Madhouse Squad: Jango Fett in Slave 1, Ocean Master, Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Loch Ness Monster, Atlanteans #1-8, Sharkticon #1-5, Allicon #6-10, Water Bender #1-5, Ranx the Sentient City, Captain Marvel, Nova, Mirage, Yellow Lantern #3, Star Sapphire #2, Mutant 1-5, Predator #1-20, Parademon #1-10, Gremlin #1-10, Hydra Agent #1-5

TEAM Team: Godzilla, Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, Vah Naboris, Phibian #1-10, Gizmo, Mace Windu, Thor, Thunderstrike, Tenzin, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, Momo, Jack Lalane, and Zachary Houslander, Kyle Houslander, Alex Houslander, Chris Artrip, Conner Weidman, Reece Reamer, Darrin, Old Man Parks, Ethan Petz, Kyle’s Homeboy Phrunk’s Dad in Magic School Bus

We open above Kamino, Ranx the Sentient City sitting just out of the gravitational field of the planet. The Madhouse squad was lined up, Jango Fett was walking the line inspecting the troops. Their plan: Use Slave 1 to land the squad on Tipoca City where TEAM was holding down. Yellow Lantern #3 and Star Sapphire #2 would assist in this process, moving the water units and the bigger units to the surface. Parademons 1-10 had already infiltrated Tipoca and were relaying information about an optimal landing. 

On the surface TEAM was watching the looming threat just beyond the atmosphere. Most of the squad would remain in the city except for Jack, Zach, Kyle, Alex, Chris, Conner, Reece, Darrin, Parks, Ethan, and Phrunk’s Dad, who all loaded onto the Magic School Bus. Their goal: disconnect Ranx from his data feed.

The Seige of Tipoca City

Vah Medoh was the first to spot the Madhouse squad moving in for a landing. Jango warned his passengers before making an intense maneuver to dodge the cannon fire. One of the shots hit Yellow Lantern #3 and fried the Loch Ness Monster and the Atlanteans inside his construct. Star Sapphire #2 made it close enough to the surface to drop the Skakticons and Ocean Master into the ocean and the Allicons onto the roofs of the city. Captain Marvel and Nova finished Vah Medoh before the beast could cause anymore damage. They turned their attention to the other divine beasts, while two large bolts of lighting hit them both at the same time. The two fell from the sky and Thor and Thunderstrike began putting the work on Nova and Captain Marvel once they hit the deck. In one particular moment the two crossed their two strikes of lightning and fried Nova from existence. Captain Marvel wasn’t intent on fighting a two on one though and hit Thunderstrike so hard, her hand pierced his body and he fell to the ground. Captain Marvel and Thor then began a battle of attrition, each trading heavy blows when the opportunity presented itself.

The signal was given for the Parademons to exit their positions and distract TEAM so the landing could be made. They were successful, but all died in the process. Out of Slave 1 came (the dude) Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Water Benders, Mirage, Mutants, Predators, Gremlins, and the Hydra Agents. The landing zone was highly contested, but with the distraction of the parademons and Allicons (who got blasted by the Divine Beasts), only the Hydra Agents, Gremlins, and half the Predators were lost. With everyone out Jango took off again to help take down the rest of the Divine Beasts. The Water benders swelled the ocean and wiped Gizmo and Tenzin off the edge, but Tenzin was able to save himself. 

Kit Fisto found Mace Windu standing across a walkway from him and the two began one of the most intense light saber duels in the history of the universe, which everyone respected the fuck out of enough to stay out of it. Star Sapphire #2 was doing their best to distract the Divine Beasts from wiping out anymore of the Madhouse squad, but was pushing their limits. That's when Jango came in with a fly by, destroying the supports of the platforms they were standing on and sending them crashing into the oceans below, where they sank till they were crushed by the pressure.

Under the city, there were only two fighters left at this point: Ocean Master vs Godzilla. The Phibians were torn up by the Sharkticons, who stood no chance against Godzilla. Ocean Master attempted to out maneuver the beast and prod him with his trident in the throat, but he was overconfident and thought the monster was stupid. On one of his passes Godzilla surprised him and swiped him with his arm, dazing Ocean Master. Godzilla then gripped Ocean Master with its mouth and shot its atomic breath.

Swamp Thing, the Water Benders, Mirage, the Mutants and the remaining Predators only had the Gaang and Tenzin to deal with. They found the Gaang on a platform, and the battle commenced. Mirage shot a blast at Toph which was caught before it hit her by Sokka’s boomerang. Swamp Thing sent out several copies of himself which were cut down. From the bodies vines grew out and gripped Appa making him unable to move. That's when the Predators uncloaked themselves as they surrounded the entire platform. They all charged in ready to kill the beast and while they were successful in killing Appa and Momo, many of them were pushed off the platform into the waters below or cut down. Sokka and Toph were being pounced on by the Mutants and were killed. Tenzin responded by creating a vortex around them and suffocated them all. Mirage took this moment to plant a pile driver on him. Katara was enraged and all alone, but noticed the vines connected all the way back to Swamp Thing. She pulled all the moisture from his main body quicker than it could be replenished by the rain which left him unalive. Though Katara was strong, she was no match for a six on one against five water benders and Mirage. While she was able to kill several of the water benders she was eventually bested. Looking down below to see if anyone knocked off had survived, they only observed a glimpse of Godzilla as it had finished eating their teammates before diving into the depths. 

The Fisto Windu fight was still underway at this point. Both powerful Jedi were struggling to find an opening as they knew each other well. With the arrival of Mirage and the remaining water benders though, it was clear that Windu wouldn’t make it out of this one alive. The Madhouse squad had lost so many comrades at this point and while they wanted to respect the fight, but they wouldn't risk losing another. The distraction of their attacks allowed Fisto to strike a killing blow. They all grouped up and made their way to the final fight with Thor to help Captain Marvel. With everyone together and air support, they were able to defeat them without suffering another casualty. With all the fighting on Tipoca City over, they breathed a sigh of relief. That's when the whole city began to shake. Godzilla was intent on bringing the whole place down. They rushed for a landing zone to board Slave 1, but it was clear that Mirage wouldn’t make it on this trip. As Slave 1 took off, the city fell. Jango had a present for Godzilla though and dropped a seismic charge with it. The blast heavily damaged Godzilla who was forced to retreat and heal off the planet's radiation. 

A Ride on a Magic Bus

The magic school bus managed to slip by the Madhouse landing squads. Landing on Ranx undetected (because magic), the TEAM squad made their way towards the command center. The team did their best to move covertly. Conner and Ethan kept goofing around and asking absurd would you rathers, which really pissed off Kyle. Phrunk’s Dad turned around and called them all retards and reminded them they had a job to do here. Finally reaching the command center and entering, Alex shit his pants, not cause he was scared, but he really had to go and couldn’t figure which bathroom to use since he didn't understand the language. The smell was rancid enough to incapacitate anyone in the vicinity which opened the path for the squad, since they were used to it. Ranx sensing their presence in the control center, constructed a rock behemoth to fend off the attack. The squad dove for cover but Jack, Parks, and Chris were crushed. 

Zach, Kyle, Alex, Ethan, Conner, Reece, Darrin and Phrunk’s Dad had to think fast. Reece and Darrin volunteered to distract the monster while the others made a break for it deeper into the complex. With the distraction under way the rest of the squad made it past, but Phrunk’s Dad never leaves a man behind so he told the others to go on ahead. Finding some sort of space gun on the ground he went back. Darrin had been hit badly by the beast and Reece was comforting him behind cover in his final moments about to be crushed as well. Zach, Kyle, Alex, Ethan, and Conner were now in the main control center. The squad began a tech beat down worthy of that one scene from Office Space and Ranx was defeated. The planet began to float aimlessly, basically banishing the squad to the depth of space with their mission complete. The squad went back to see if there were any other survivors and found Phrunk’s Dad heavily injured. He told them that he was proud of them for completing the mission with his final breath before falling to the ground.

Week 6: Diddlers vs Redskins

Diddlers: Bad Batch: Hunter, Echo, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, Omega in the Marauder, Rebels crew: Hera Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus, Garazeb Orrelios in Ghost and Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger, Chopper in Phantom II, Emperor Palpatine, Captain Rex, Aquaman, Loki, Naruto, T-1000, Master Pakku, Red Lotus: Zaheer, Ghazan, P’Li, and Ming-Hua, Donald Trump in Penguin Suit, Crash Bandicoot, Autobot Transformers #1-4

Redskins: Namor, Larfleeze, Indigo One, Monk, Saint Walker, Aspen, Sando Aqua Monster, Mandalore the Great, Allicon #1-5, Toad, Abe Sapien, Kermit the Frog, The Leprechaun, Squirtle, Sharkticon #6-10, Atlantean #9-10, Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Major Disaster, Headbanger, and Junkyard, Dobby, Omega Supreme

Clone Force 99 and the rest of the Diddlers are set up on the clone home world, Kamino. Meanwhile, the Washington Redskins have secretly infiltrated the stormy planet. Considering the advanced nature of the above water structures, this battle is divided into a water battle and a rainy land battle…

Under the sea, under the sea, when the sardine begin the beguine… sorry… let’s take a look in the depths of the sea. I am a lazy writer this week so essentially what had happened was some Diddlers went against some Redskins and I’ll spare the details. Diddlers’ Master Pakku, Ming-Hua, Donald Trump, Autobot Transformers #1-4, T-1000, Naruto, and Aquaman had perished. As for the Redskins, Abe Sapien was the sole water survivor and moved back to the surface to help the rest of the battle while Namor, Aspen, Sando Aqua Monster, Allicon #1-5, Toad, Kermit the Frog, Squirtle, Sharkticon #6-10, Atlantean #9-10 did not survive.

Now onto the above water portion… immediately into battle we go. Note that OMMMEEEEEGGGAAA is a wee bitch so she “accidently” fell out of the Marauder to her death. After that, all in all I have no creative juices flowing for this match, sorry lads. So I’ll do a quick summary of the main events that occurred. Emperor Palpatine did a cool execution of order 66, the Redskin lanterns had some fun, Dobby is a certified DAWG so he just retreated to safety since Harry Potter needed some help on another world, Red Lotus went off because they too are a hood classic, Omega Supreme was in fact the supreme Omega in this fight, and Captain Rex is simply Captain Rex.

In the end… the Diddler’s out diddled the HUT.

Week 6 Democracy: Dolla 49 Mcrib vs The NAZA

NAZA: Boba Fett, Cad Bane, Legends Luke Skywalker w/ Blue Lantern Ring, R2-D2, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Vegeta, Deadman, Omniman, Monkey D. Luffy, Ash Ketchum, Kyogre, Rayquaza, Giritina, Dialga, and Palkia, Darth Traya, Darth Nihilus, and Darth Sion, Comander Stargaze and Sly Bird, and Crimson Chin

Dola 49 McRib: Darth Malak, Count Dooku, Bizarro Superman, Sentry, Dr. Strange and Wong, 10 Navy Seals, Goro w/ a Double Red Lightsaber, Shang Tsung, Attila The Frog, Genghis The Frog, and Napoleon Bonafrog, Rasputin The Mad Frog, Saturn, Ares, Mandalorian #1-10, Harkonnen Soldier #3, Lucario, and Atreides Soldier #2

The Underhills Vs. Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips.

 Week 6 Consortium, Kamino:

The Underhills are Mera, John Stewart, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, The Seacons:. Nautilator, Seawing, Overbite, Skalor, Snaptrap, and Tentakil, Black Mantan, Xenomorph #1-20, Excalibur: Capt. Britain, Meggan, Phoenix, Shadowcat, Nightcrawler, Lockheed, Kylun, and Widget, General Zod, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Skydive, Fireflight, Slingshot, and Air Raid, Raven, and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are Poseidon, Seaworm #1-10, Shazam, He-Man and Battle Cat, The Tiger Sharks:. Mako, Walro, Gupp, Octavia, and Lorca, Red Hood, Starfire, Arsenal, Apocalypse, and Hermione Granger on a Quidditch Broom.

The Sigmaz Vs. David Byrne's Meat Suits

The Sigmaz are The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael (all with Glocks), Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Link (w/ The Master Sword) on Pegasus, Spawn, Hellboy, The Unabomber in an Iron Man Suit, Azula, Tai Lee, and Mai, Mega Man and Rush, Goku, Bullseye, The Terminator (3) and Henry Knox in a F-14, Tokka and Razhar, Aaron Burr, and Detective Spooner 

David Byrne's Meat Suits are Yakkon, The Creeper, Kosa-Yin Hadu, Nazgul #6 on his Fell Beast, Shao Kahn, Unalaq, Desna, and Eska, Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Sagat, Piplup, Denethor, Pee Wee Herman, Uruk Hai #1-10, Storm Trooper #1-5, Rocky Balboa, Vladimir Harkonen, The Jar Jar Heads:. (Capt., Lt., 2nd Lt., Sgt., Cpl., Lance Corporal, Pvt First Class, and 3 Pvts), Capt. Tarpals, Boss Nass, Gungan Soldier #1-10, Robert Oswald, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Pope Emeritus Benedict in a Suit of Armor, Magwai #1-10, Sandy from Sandy's, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Lewis, Clark, and Saccajewa, Serena and Manion Butler, Benedict Arnold, Gary Habkirk, The Simpsons: Homer, Marge Bart (w/ Dark Brandon's AR-15), Lisa, Maggie, and Santa's Little Helper, The Noid, Air Bender #1-4, Dr. Robert Neville and his Dog, John Conner, and Axel Foley.  

Sigmas Vs. Sigmaz The Battle for the Apple of Eden

 Sigmas: Ki Adi Mundi, Smaug, Qui Gon Jin, Deadshot, Satoru Gojo, Griffith, Jhin, MLK Jr., Marth, Gigachad w/Katana and Tanto, Mystique, Legolas, Tree Sentinel, Faramir, Pit, Morpheous, Fremen, The Witch King of Angmar, The End, The Pain, The Fury, Gollum, Iron Hide, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Duncan Idaho, Chani, Sardakur (1-20), Starscream, Maverik w F5 Tiger, Ramjet, Dirge, Earth Bender

Sigmaz: Malcom X w/ Vibranium Suit and Green Light Saber, 10 Wakandan Soldiers, Obama, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir, The Dino Bots, Six Shot, SunStrom, Unabomber in Ironman suit and F5 Tiger, Eren Yaeger, Ronald Mcdonald Crew, The TMNT w/ Glocks, Altair and Ezio w/Apple of Eden, Golbin w/AR15, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Azula, Tai Lee Mai, Spawn inF14, Hellboy in F14, The Joker w/ The Joker Mobile, Link on Pegasus w/Master Sword, Zelda, Master Chief in Sith Fighter, SImon Belmont, E Dubb, Bullseye, Snake Eyes and Wolf, Guts

The rain is coming down hard in the jungle and the Sigmas are on the hunt for the apple of Eden.  The Sigmas have been split up in a search for the apple of Eden.  Gojo, Griffith, Jhin, Gigachad, and Mystique lead the fight into the jungle.  

Lighting strikes but it seems to be part of the storm until the Sigmas here a screech.  Eren Yaeger followed by the Ronald Mcdonald crew and Jason Voorhees make their presence known.  Eren Yaeger charges the Sigmas with great speed.  Gigachad tries to take out the neck of Eren Yaeger but it is nothing but an effort.  They know they have to cut his nape in order to release him from the Titan from information they got from their ally Doctor's Madhouse. 

Jhin begins to start attacking the Ronald McDonalds crew until all that is left is Grimace.  Grimace starts to become feral and fights back against Jhin while he is reloading.  Avoid all traps set by Jhin Grimace slashes Jhin making him unable to move.  Grimace rips the spin from Jhin's body and begins a feast upon his body, eating his limbs one by one.  Even Jason Voorhees is disgusted by the scene of Grimace.  

Gojo has been fending off attacks from Eren Yaeger and Voorhees with the help of Griffith and Mystique. Griffith takes on Voorhees head on.  Sword vs. Machete never looks like a close fight on paper but the undead make it look like they have the upper hand.  You can hear the loud clashes of steel as the fight goes on.  Mystique uses her ability to change into Pamela Voorhees.

"Jason.  You need to stop.  This is your mother.  Come home to me" says Mystique

Jason instantly stops fighting allowing Giffith to deal a lethal blow that takes out Jason Voorhees.  All that is left is Eren.  Eren becoming more and more aware of his abilities and where they came from determines to not be defeated once again.  He quickly takes out both mystique and Griffith as they are not equipped to handle a titan. 

After the battle Eren turns back into human form.  "I need to get back to the pyramid in the Desert to help protect the Apple of Eden" says Eren.

Little did Eren know that Gollum was lurking in the shaddows watching and listening to the whole fight.

"I need to warn the others I must" says Gollum as he retreats back to the city to let the others know that the Apple is not there and it's in the desert.

"I will have my precious apple since Mr.Frodo wouldn't allow me to have the Ring" says Gollum in his creepy ass voice he does.

Back in the city Gollum relays the information back to Qui Gon Jin but it is to late the fighting has begun and the there is no way to stop the onslaught.  Qui Gon and Ki Adi Mundi retreat back to the Desert Temple to go after the Apple.

Mavrik and the Unabomber are in a dog fight in F5 tigers.  The Unabomber is losing the fight.  Mavrik gaining the upper hand continues to rain fire on the Unabomber until The Unabomber tries to leave the fight.  Mavrik is chasing after him.  "Han I don't know where he is going.  It looks like he trying to retreat"

"Well follow him and take him down" says Han Solo

The Unabomber continues to run from the fight.  "They will never see this coming."  

The Unabomber then kamakazis Starscream killing the giant Transformer, but he ejected right before the crash and escaped in his Iron Man suit back to the fight.  He is unable to escape in the Ironman suit as Mavrik still had his eyes set on completing the mission at any cost.  His F5 has taken to much damage though.  He decides he can help in one last way.  He then Kamakazis Sixshot killing the transformer, but he went out like a G and didn't eject.  Mavrik ain't no pussy.

All while this is going on Iron Hide is taking on the Dinobots with the Lone earth bender.  The earth bender is unable to do much damage, but allows for a distraction for Iron Hide to take them out.  This effort is null as they all kill each other in a large destructive fight.

Ramjet and Dirge take on Sunstorm.  They begin to launch rockets at each other while in jet form.  They truly make a giant destructive dog fight which levels half of the city.  Building are crashing from the chaos.  Sunstorm is able to take our Dirge early in the fight leaving it a one on one between Ramjet and Sunstrom.  They both get destroyed in the destruction.  Both unable to move lying on the ground a building falls on them destroying the two transformers. 

During the giant robot fights Deadshot and Marth were at odds against the unkillable Michael Meyers.  No matter how many time Deadshot is able to shoot him he will not go down.  Deadshot unleashes enough round to take off the leg of Michael Meyers.  As Michael laid on the ground Deadshot approached him ready to shoot him in the head execution style. 

"Any last words freak" says Deadshot.

Shitty last words if you ask me.  Micahel then grabs Deashot taking him down to ground and stabs him in the neck.  Marth originally to afraid to get close to Michael attacks with his sword cutting the head off of Michael Meyers.  Marth sits next to the body of Deadshot remembering his old friends until he is grabbed and taken airborn.  Hellboy picked him up like a hawk does it prey.  He takes him higher and higher flying into the sky.  Marth struggling the entire time.

"If you keep struggling I'm gonna drop you to your death" says Hellboy

"You don't have the chops" responds Marth.

Marth is then dropped over 500 feet to his death.

Pit, Legolas, and MLK Jr. attack the Tmnt.  MLK is able to take the upper hand on Donatello cracking his neck and killing him.  Leonardo quickly responds decapitating the Civil rights activist.  Pit and Legolas fend off Raphael and Leonardo.  Legolas delivers a final blow to Raphael and pit takes out Leonardo leaving just Mikey.  Mikey's picks up the weapons of his fellows comrades and retaliates.  Here we can see the first glimpses of the Last Ronin.  Mikey is able to avenge his brothers killing the elf and the swordsmen.  

Mikey feels like he can't go on without his brothers and takes his own life while laying next to his brothers.

All that is left in the city for the Sigmas is Tree Sentinal, Farmir, Fremen, Han and Chewy, and Chani.  The battle in the city is looking grim for the Sigmas. 

Obama and Zelda are approached by Chani, Faramir and a Fremen soldier.  Obama and Zelda stood no chance.  Zelda is bested by Faramir as she can't handle the swordsman. The Fremen soldier easily takes out Obama, but I mean who couldn't?  His wife could beat his ass.

Link comes riding in on his Pegasus.  He quickly starts an attack on Chani who is defenseless.  He slashes the back on Chani leaving her to bleed to death.  The fremen soldier tries to avenge her but is unable to do so as the master swordsman takes out the soldier with ease.  Leaving just Faramir and Link to duke it out.  

The Boxing commences

Link is overpowering Faramir but he isn't done yet.  He is able to knock the sword out of the hands of Link.  He starts to walk Link down to deliver a finishing blow.  That is until Link's pegasus swoops in from the air to save him.  He then picks up is sword and keeps slashing Faramir from the air until he can no longer stand the pain and rolls over and dies.  

Han and Chewy along with the tree sentinal are all that remain in the city.  They have the Joker held hostage is an effort to be let go to escape to the Desert Temple.

"We know you know where the apple is now.  Let us go and we will release the Joker.  We already killed master chief we aren't afraid to kill another of you guys" says Han Solo

"We don't care about that psycho" says spawn as he unleashes his attack.  He killed Han Solo and The Joker in the process.

Chewy begins to go berserk as his best friend is just killed.  He rips apart Simon Belmont limb by limb leaving nothing left but his torso.  The Tree Sentinel backs up his comrade and begins to attack bullseye.  He is unsuccessful as Hellboy saves him from imminent death.  Hellboy then destroys the Tree Sentinal with one blow.

"You not the only one who can do that you big hairy bastard" says hell boy as he rips the limbs from Chewy leaving nothing left but hairs like a coyote does to a small dog.  

"It's time to get back.  Who knows who the hell they sent to grab that apple" says Hellboy

Hellboy picks up Bullseye and flies to the desert temple along side Link riding on his Pegasus. Spawn follows behind shortly after almost as if he were looking for someone.

At the Desert Temple

Ki Adi Mundi and Qui Gon have teamed up with Duncan Idaho and his Fremen and Sardakaur Troops.  They were met by Guts, Azula, Tai Lee and Mai.  The airbenders made quick work of all the soldiers and troops leaving the two Jedi with Duncan Idaho.  Duncan Idaho and Guts began to battle it out while it was the force vs airbending. 

Duncan Idaho and Guts began a fierce battle between the two.  The clashing of steel sent continuous sparks flying.  No one had the upper hand in the battle.  Guts began to get increasingly angry but that came to his demise.  His anger caused his to make mistakes like he had in his past battles with Griffith.  Idaho used to the terrain was able to take advantage and slice the throat of The Black Swordsman.  

Mundi and Qui Gon continued to battle the airbenders.  Mundi was soon taken out by Tai Lee but it wasn't enough to stop Qui Gon.  Qui Gon is able to over power azula with the help of Idaho.  They continue to push back on Mai who is two weak for the Jedi and commander.  

The End, The Pain, and The fury were running recon on the temple when they are met by Snake Eyes and Wolf.  Snake Eyes is able to snap the neck of the The Pain but while that happened The End and The Fury were able to take out Wolf since it was two soldiers vs a wolf.  Although they won Wolf was able to pull off a significant amount of damage to the two soldiers.  Snake Eyes is the better soldier and is able to take out the two with little to no damage taken.  

Qui Gon and Duncan Idaho finally arrive at the entrance of the Temple.  They are met by Malcom X.  

"Go on ahead" says Qui Gon

Idaho runs inside.  Qui Gon and Malcon X begin a light saber fight at the entrance.  The clashing of the light sabers can be heard through the entire temple.  Malcon X in his vibranium suit finally gets the upper hand on Qui Gon and stabs him in the heart.  

Morpheus soon arrives on top of Smaug and takes out Malcom X as morpheus is to strong for the noble leader of the Sigmaz.  Smaug goes to take out all the back up for the Sigmaz, but once again lighting strikes.  Eren Yaeger changes to titan form and jumps on the giant Dragon.  They begin to battle in the air.  Smaug is engulfing Yaeger with the flames.  The titan can't take it much longer.  He continues to attack the dragon.  His efforts are not enough to the kill the powerful dragon as he drops to the ground leaving him limp.

The Witch King of Angmar on the ground is able to cut the nape of Yaeger and then kills him when he rips him out of the titan body. 

Inside the Temple Morpheus and Idaho are met by the Wakandan Soldiers of the Sigmas.  They are able to defeat the weak soldiers.  Ezio and Altiar along with Fenrir are standing next to the apple of eden in defense.  The two assassins team up on Idaho and get the upper hand when Ezio made his way to the second floor and jumped to assassinate the commander.  Morpheus retaliates and kills the two assassins whose technology are far behind his.  He then moves on to Fenrir who couldn't keep up with Morpheus.  Morpheus is about to drop a nuke he on a killin spree.

Outside Smaug and The Witch King start to fend off the reinforcements of the Sigmaz.  They are met by Hellboy and Link.  Link was quickly engulfed in flames by Smaug as he stood no chance against the mighty Dragon but the Witch King fell short to Hellboy.  His strentgh was to much for him.

Smaug and Hellboy fought it out until Hellboy could no longer fly.  Without being able to fly his chances were slim to win.  Bullseye tried to help him but he was to weak for Smaug.  Smaug ate bullseye whole.  The battle was at a stalemate as Hellboy can't fly to get close but he is also immune to fire.  That is until Spawn arrives.

"Hey look who I found on the way here" Spawn says

"Please tell me you have him tied up" says hellboy

"why would I? He is to weak to do anything I pushed him all the way here" Spawn replies

"RUN" screams Hellboy

Satoro Gojo who escaped in the jungle without being seen began his onslaught.  He quickly blows off the head of Spawn who brought him to the Temple. He quickly moves to the slow Hellboy and is able to take out the demon.

Gojo makes his way into the temple.  All that stands is Snake eyes.  Gojo and Morpheus laugh as they argue who will kill him.  Gojo then jumps ahead and ends snake eyes life in the blink of an eye.

"We've done it.  We can head back now" says Morpheus

"Not so fast" says the Black Stallion Erick William's who is followed by Kratos and Atreus.  

Kratos lept into the fight followed by Arteus.  It was speed and strength something Gojo and Morpheus never have seen before, but Gojo was up for the fight.  The fight began to destruct some of the temple but Kratos ended it early.

"You can't kill a god" says Kratos.

Erick then picks up the apple of Eden slowing down time and using the Sword of Duncan Idaho he slays Smaug.  Erick then leads his two subordinates off into the sunset.

The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen vs The Washington Redskins

It is playoff planet week, both teams begin landing on the planet to prepare for battle. They are amazed at the size of the planet and diversity of terrains. The planet appears fit to house any type of being for battle. Many stories have made their way around the league of epic battles that had been fought here in alternate universes. As the combatants step foot onto the planet they can’t help but feel a vague sense of deja-vu.

The Washington Redskins are:

Yoda (w/ Dwarf Ring #4), Chian, Professor Xavier, Wolverine, Omega Supreme, Sinestro (w/ The White Lantern Ring), The Ghostbusters:. Peter, Ray, Egon, & Winston in Ecto-1,  John McLane and Skeletor in The Batmobile (Tim Burton/Michael Keaton version), Namor the Submariner, The Sando Aqua Monster, Chuck Norris (w/ The Houslander Family Katana) in a Chinese Spy Balloon, Thundercracker and Buster, Skywarp, The Arc Troopers in a U-Wing (O.G. Arc Troopers include: Captain, two lieutenants, heavy weapons specialist, and six Arc Troopers (Obi Wan's special troops from O.G. Clone Wars)), Asajj Ventress in an Arwing, Kup, Sodom Yat, Mandalore the Great (w/ The Dark saber), R.O.B. the Robot in an ARC Fighter,  The Silver Hawks: Colonel Bluegrass w/ Sideman, Quicksilver w/ Talleyhawk, Steelheart w/ Stronghold, Steelwill w/ Rayzor, & Copper Kid w/ Mayday in The Marage, Teddy Roosevelt (in a Hammer Bros. Suit), Larfleeze, Usagi Yojimbo & Jotaro, Sharkticon #7 & 8.  

The Washington Redskins decide to employ the most cutting edge technology to gain the upper hand on their opponent.  Chuck Norris grabs the Houslander Family Katana and climbs up into a Chinese Spy Balloon. Several days later, he is tens of thousands of feet over the camp of the League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen. He looks down with his hawk like vision and sees their troops preparing for battle. He sees:

Avatar Aang with Star Sapphire, Superman, Martian Manhunter, Dante, Beowolf, Hecate, Erasmus, Magneto, Ultron, The Insecticons (Venom, Barrage, Chop Chop, Ransack),  Sky Lynx, Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Sabertooth, Dracula w/power ring, Jason Bourne w/ Death note,  Aphrodite, Pinhead, Galadriel, 4 LOTR Orc, as well as vehicles: TIE Fighter, A-Wing, TIE Reaper, and Imperial Shuttle.

After some time he sees  Avatar Aang, Aphrodite, Jason Bourne, and Dante get into a TIE Reaper and leave the camp.

“Well, their story checks out.” He utters to himself. “Although they do have a couple of broads. And Bumblebee is kinda gay.” Chuck writes down his findings on his notepad. He then pulls a carrier pigeon out of his pocket, sticks the note in the bird’s mouth, and roundhouse kicks it back to his team. Back at the Redskins base Yoda picks up the dead pigeon and pulls the note out of its mouth. “Begin now the battle will”.

Back in the balloon, Chuck is getting bored so he decides to start hocking loogies. He spits one out with precision and lands it directly through an Orc’s skull. The other three orcs look up in bewilderment. Then another loogie slams through skull of another Orc. The remaining two look at each other confused, about to run when they are both offed by high velocity spit wads. 

In the balloon Chuck mumbles to himself contentedly “The age of Orcs is over. The time of the loogie has come!”

Down below the Gentleman are discussing what had transpired and what they should do about it.

“It is a very advanced form of technology. We must leave it be.” Says Galadriel. “It is the tradition of this world to allow the balloon to float freely for days while doing nothing. Besides, we need to find out more information about what this thing is.”

“I told you days ago that it’s just a balloon with an old man sunbathing nude next to a sword. I offered multiple times to shoot it down and you declined.” Retorts Sky Lynx.

Meanwhile, a TIE Reaper lands near the beach and the Gentleman exit the ship.

“Our water foes are very formidable. Stick to the plan.” says Avatar Aang as he begins bending water attempting to uncover the enemy. He sees a couple of Sharkticons swimming near the shore so he earth bends some nearby boulders and sends them directly into the transformers. While he is occupied a very large wave forms and knocks the gentlemen into the water. Namor, riding on the back of the Sando Aqua Monster swims up and devours Avatar Aang and Dante. Aphodite and Jason Bourne swim towards shore but Aphrodite doesn’t make it and is also consumed. Jason hurries onto the shore and falls onto his back as the monster gains on him.

“Please! Before you eat me please tell me, who is it that has bested me?” begs Jason Bourne.

“What? Have you not heard of the great Namor? Or my pet Sando Aqua Monster? We are the most fearsome –“ then they both die suddenly, as Jason finishes writing in his notebook. Jason then returns to his TIE Reaper to fly back to the others.

Back at their base, the Gentleman see a speck in the distance. As it gets closer they see that it is Wolverine pushing Professor Xavier in his wheelchair.

“Do not shoot.” Commands Magneto. After a while Professor X and Wolverine get close and then stop.

“I have assessed the situation. Your team loses in the end. I am offering you the option to surrender now and spare the lives of your team.” Pleads Professor X.

“Charles, I know who is on your team. They are mostly robots and costumed people in vehicles. They are no match for my powers.” Flaunts Magneto.

“Very well, you were warned.” And with that Wolverine begins wheeling him away.

“Stop!” yells Magneto as he exerts his control over wolverine. “Why would you come here defenseless? Wolverine is the last person who could defend you from me?”

And with that Thundercracker and Skywarp swoop in from opposite directions firing their blasters at Magento. He is incinerated as the Gentleman are momentarily stunned. The rest of the Redskins then lunge into battle.

The Gentleman frantically run for their ships.  Erasmus gets into his TIE Fighter, Pinhead gets in his A-wing, and Beowolf in an Imperial Shuttle. Having advanced intel the Redskins U-Wing,  Asajj Ventress in her Arwing, and R.O.B. the robot in his ARC figher gun down the ships and combatants as they attempt to take off. The Silver Hawks and Sinestro blast away Hecate.

Superman sees the battle slipping away and responds quickly by flying through the Redskins U-Wing causing it to crash killing all of the Arc troopers. He then puts his heat vision onto R.O.B. the robots Arc fighter blowing it up. He catches up to Asajj Ventress and rips the wing off of her Arwing but she ejects before the crash.

 Sky Lynx knocks off the Silverhawks one by one. He then pursues Skywarp and Thundercracker, neither of whom can shake him off. Sky Lynx blasts both transformers out of the air and begins strafing the Redskin’s ground forces. He easily picks off Usage Yojimbo and Jotaro without much effort.

On the ground the Ghostbuster pull up and get out of Ecto-1 near Dracula. They pull out their proton packs and begin blasting at Dracula but he is too fast for them. The Batmobile pulls up and as John McClain and Skeletor get out Dracula flies behind John McClain and drains his blood. John tries to get back into the Batmobile and faints, his foot hitting the gas pedal. The Batmobile smashes into the Ghostbusters and Ecto-1, killing everyone involved. Skeletor notices Dracula is distracted by this and takes the opportunity to thrust his sword through his chest.

Sabertooth eyes Wolverine from across the field. The two begin moving towards each other. Sabretooth strikes first, charging towards Wolverine with his claws extended. Wolverine meets him head-on, their claws clashing in a shower of sparks. The two exchange blows, their enhanced senses allowing them to anticipate each other's moves.

Sabretooth grins savagely as he lands a blow on Wolverine's side, drawing blood. But Wolverine fights back with renewed ferocity, slashing at Sabretooth's face with his claws. Sabretooth snarls and slashes back, their claws locking together once again.

The fight continues for what seems like an eternity, both combatants matching each other blow for blow. They roll and tumble across the ground, their claws tearing up the earth beneath them. 

With a final, savage roar, Wolverine delivers a devastating blow to Sabretooth's chest, puncturing his heart. Sabretooth falls to the ground, dead. Wolverine stands over his fallen foe, breathing heavily but victorious.

Martian Manhunter and Ultron find themselves confronted by Larfleeze and Sinestro. Martin Manhunter used his telepathy to probe the minds of his opponents, seeking to find their weaknesses. Ultron, on the other hand, unleashed a barrage of energy blasts, intent on taking down his foes with raw power.

Larfleeze summons his power of avarice to create a swarm of constructs that swarmed around his opponents, engulfing them in a sea of orange light. Sinestro, the Yellow Lantern, used his ring to create a cage of fear around the two heroes, trapping them within.

Martin Manhunter tried to use his shape-shifting abilities to escape the cage, but he found that Sinestro's ring was too powerful for him to overcome. Ultron, too, found himself unable to break free, as the cage seemed to sap his energy and weaken him.

Larfleeze and Sinestro then launched a coordinated attack, with Sinestro blasting the trapped heroes with his ring while Larfleeze unleashed his orange constructs upon them. Martin Manhunter and Ultron fought back with all their might, but it was not enough. Martian Manhunter then used his telepathic powers to plant the idea into Sinestro’s mind that Larfleeze would turn on him. Sinestro then turned and focused his attack on Larfleeze.

Larfleeze had been caught off guard by Sinestro's attack and was now lying motionless on the ground. Sinestro approached him slowly, a smug grin on his face as he relished in his victory. It was short lived, however, as he realized he had been duped into killing his own teammate. He then turned to his trapped opponents and finished them off.

Omega Supreme lands on the battlefield and transforms mode and engages the insecticons. They attack him while saying something in a high pitched, barely understandable voice but he just ignores them and squashes them like bugs.

Kup is in a shootout with Bumblebee and Cliffjumper. Kup takes a couple of blasts and has his gun knocked out of his hand. They have him on the ropes, about to be blasted away when Omega Supreme stomps on both of them, creating a pile of scrap metal. Just as Kup begins to thank Omega Supreme he sees several explosions on him as he is blasted from behind by Sky Lynx. Kup narrowly avoids the same fate.

Chuck Norris is watching the battles below as sees that Sky Lynx is causing problems for his team. He puts on pants, grabs his katana, and jumps from the balloon. He aims his descent perfectly to land on the back of Sky Lynx. He holds on tight as Sky Lynx begins performing aggressive maneuvers to knock him off. Chuck takes his katana and digs it into Sky Lynx as deep as he can. The damage causes Sky Lynx to lose control of his flight. The two plummet towards the earth, the impact causing a massive explosion killing both of them.

Galadriel finds herself surrounded by Redskins. Yoda, Chian, Asajj Ventress, Mandalore the Great, and Sinestro begin creeping towards her with their weapons drawn. Superman sees this and swoops down next to assist his teammate. Galadriel telepathically communicates with Superman as their enemies approach. They are attempting to come to a consensus on what to do when Asajj Ventress swings her light sabers at Galadriel barely missing her. Superman briefly uses his heat vision on Galadriel’s sword then upper cuts Chian to dislocate his skull. Faster than any of the other characters, he gets behind Sinestro and snaps his neck from behind and throws his body at Yoda. Galadriel drives her heated sword through the chest of Mandalore the Great but is not quick enough as Asajj Ventress is successful this time and beheads the elf. Superman very quickly avenges his fallen teammate by grabbing one of the lightsabers of Asajj Ventress and slicing her in half. He then thinks to himself one more left, only to look down and sees a lighsaber protruding from his abdomen, the last thing he sees before he dies. Yoda removes his lightsaber from the Kryptonian and regroups with his team.

Jason Bourne returns in his Tie Reaper to see considerable destruction on the battlefield. As he is landing he sees several characters that he recognizes. “Time to go meet my heroes.” He steps out of the Tie Reaper to be greeted by some of the remaining Redskins.

“Over now, it is.” Says Yoda as he approaches Jason Bourne, igniting his lightsaber. Yoda, Wolverine, Skeletor, and Sodom Yat approach Jason.

“It was great to meet all of you before you die.” Exclaims Jason. The approaching members of the Redskins seem to slow down, then drop their weapons and clench at their chest, dying suddenly. 

With only a few loose ends to resolve, Jason Bourne approaches Teddy Roosevelt carrying a big stick with some metal at the end of it. “And who are you old man?” he asks.

Teddy Roosevelt very softly replies with his name.

“What? I can’t hear you.” Teddy then repeats his name softly.

“I don’t have time for this.” Jason retorts as he punches Teddy Roosevelt and starts walking away. Teddy begins throwing hammers at him while Buster runs up and starts biting his leg. He manages to break free of the dog and runs away as fast as he can. Kup drives right in front of the fleeing Jason Bourne who runs into the truck and falls to the ground, dropping death note. Professor X wheels over like Mr. Walicki on the last day of school and maneuvers his wheelchair to be on the neck of Jason Bourne, Floyd style. Buster picks up death note and brings it to Professor X.

“This is the end, Jason Bourne. I guess we need to start calling you Jason Died.”

He writes in the book: Jason Bourne, fentanyl overdose.