Grayson's Goobers Vs. Bill Cosby and Scar-Jo's Leather Pansted Trash Pandas

 Grayson's Goobers are Shadow the Hedgehog (w/ The Chaos Emeralds), Espio the Chameleon, (Legends) Luke Skywalker (w/ a blue lantern ring), R2-D2, Alan Scott, Red Hulk, Black Knight, Sub-Zero, Samurai #8, and Eternian Soldier #8.

Bill Cosby and Scarlett Johanson's Leather Pansted Trash Pandas are Rauru, Mineru, Johnny Quick, War Turtle, Zygarde, Old Man Willow, Jack Baur, Luminara Unduli, Barriss Offee, Chester Cheetah, and Guardian #1-5.

***The following takes place between 6 pm and 7 pm in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.  My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the story of the 12 hour terrorist siege of Rito Village.***  

<<Phones Rings in a small hut>>  "Who's this.  Nobody is supposed to have this number??  Asks Jack Bauer abruptly.  

"Jack, it is me Luminara.  We need you to come in.  We have intel that The CTU Outpost in Rito Village is going to be hit".

"I've stepped down as head of CTU Lumi, you know this.  I can't help you.  I still need time after what happened on Kashyyyk".  Jack responds.

"Jack..... Listen.  You are the only one who knows this system.  Plus, Mr. Rauru and Madame Mineru specifically asked for you Jack.  You aren't really going to turn down a direct request from the last of The Zonai are you??  They want you here right away and they want you to take point on this mission".  states Unduli with authority.  She adds:  "And Jack, I was right by your side running ops for you on Kashyyyk.  I don't think I can do this without you".  

Jack sighs deeply and answers:  "Have a tactical kit, comms, and a team ready for me.  I am hold up on the shore of a lake in Tabantha.  I'll be there in fifteen minutes".  

.......  6:16 pm.......

"General Offee, it's good to see you again.  I'll need to see Luminara right away"  Jack says as he marches swiftly into The Swallow's Roost.  

Barris replies:  "Actually Jack, it is still Commander.  I turned down the promotion after Kashyyyk; so I could stay under General Unduli's command here in The Wild's Frontier.  We don't have a lot of good help here Jack.  Not after you left and we lost our funding from The Triforce DOGE Auditors".  

"I understand"  Jack says solemnly.

"I will bring you directly to Luminara; but Mr. Rauru and Madam Mineru are on Zoom in the briefing room.  They want to bring you up to speed directly".  Says Barris.

Jack finally enters the open air window laden room in The Wild's Frontier where he and Luminara stop to stare at each other for a brief second before somewhat awkwardly embracing one another.  Luminara speaks:  "The Zonai are ready whenever you are Jack.  This is of the utmost importance".  

The two of them walk into the room, where Rauru and Mineru are already waiting on the telcom screen which is positioned at the center of a large round table.  War Turtle, Zygard, and Old Man Willow are already there, seated at the table.  

"Thank you for coming Jack"  Rauru states authoritatively.  

"Of course Mr. Rauru.  I have taken an oath and I owe you and Madam Mineru my life after you saved my men on Moritani in The Grumman War.  Your Honored Zonai, after learning of how serious this threat is I am glad to see that you are far away from Rito Village and safe from what may happen here".  Says Jack humbly.

"Actually Jack, Mineru and I have decided to come back to Rito Village.  This situation is too vital and we must be present to execute our plan to save the people from this terrible threat".  exclaims Rauru.  

Jack speaks up:  "Mr. Rauru, I must advise you against that.  The timing could not possibly be".....

Interupting Jack Rauru says:  "Our mind is made up Director Bauer.  Make the adequate preparations for our arrival.  We will be there in less that two hours".  

"Yes Sir" replies Jack.

......... 6:59 pm .........

***The following takes place between 7 pm and 8 pm in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.

Jack shifts gears into crises mode, knowing full well that time is of the essence.  "DAMNIT LUMI.  This is a terrible play by The Zonai.  What are they thinking??  What kind of Tac teams do you have running from this location??  And the main thing I need to know is any intel you have on the specific people who are mounting this attack".  

Luminara responds:  It's General Ross Jack.  And his nickname The Thunderbolt has more meaning now then ever.  He has gone rogue Jack and his abilities are off the charts".

"I know all about his Gamma emitting powers and his Red Hulk form Lumi.  I worked with him in Krakoa before he went dark.  Even before his rogue actions, he was a wild card.  Either way, we need to fortify this position before The Zonai arrive and especially before Rulk and his men commence an attack.  Who else is he working with"??  says Bauer.  

Luminara responds:  "He has put together a group of pretty unsavory rebels that are not to be trifled with.  All top notch, all ex-special ops and military.  Commander Skywalker, Colonel Scott, several other enhanced field assassins, and he has even taken control of The Chaos Emeralds.  Our intel points to the idea that he wants control of Rito Village so he can use it as a conduit center for the use of his unified emeralds.  It seems that he wants to infuse the chaos energy with his Gamma Radiation and the natural power of this place to tap into the Hyrulian ether and simulate an existence that be controlled indefinitely from this location".  

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.  CIA and NSA have been trying things like that for years.  CTU exposed it before DOGE shut them down.  The technology isn't there".  Says Jack.

Luminara shakes her head and retorts:  "That's what we thought too; but with some mastery of The Force on their side and the ability to create schematics with green lantern energy, we are showing intel that what was once impossible for science could be possible after all".  

"DAMNIT LUMI !!!!!  How could Joints Chiefs and The High Council let this happen?!!?  Yells Jack.

Jack pauses for a moment and asks:  "Who has been running field ops, since I left??  I hope it is somebody fast.  We are going to need men on their toes for this operation".  

Luminara smiles and responds:  "We have our top agents available Jack.  And if you want guys quick on the draw, we have got you covered.  Johnny Quick has been running field operations and tac teams ever since you went dark and Chester Cheetah, whom I know you worked with in Kenya has been heading up the squad of Guardians we have protecting the outer perimeter.  Everyone is ready and they will be working directly under you during this operation.  Your full status as a field agent has been reinstated and you will be provided with tactical teams and equipment.  Agent Quick and Chester are both on comms and can be spoken to directly through your earpiece".

Jack sighs:.....  "Thanks Lumi, we need to get this place completely secured.  Bring the Guardians in close to the perimeter and lock down all areas of The Wild's Frontier structure.  The only thing we want left open temporarily is the single rear entrance so Rauru and Mineru can make their way in and gain full protection once they arrive.  They will need full access to all power structures and coms when they arrive.  Lumi, I want you to put Barris on that directly and have Agent Quick and Chester Cheetah meet me at the front briefing room near The Brazen Beak.  From there we will move to The Rito Stable where we will set up a counter offensive".  

Luminara looks at Jack wide eyes and says:  "Jack.....  that could be suicide.  You can't just move against General Ross from that vantage point right when he arrives".  

Jack speaks authoritatively:  "I know that Lumi.  And Ross knows it too.  The counter-offensive is nothing more than a diversion.  It's the only way to make sure Rauru and Mineru can make it into Rito Village CTU Headquarters safely.  It has to be done.  Now let's make it happen. 

..........7:58............

"And Lumi,  good luck".

...................................

***The following takes place between 8 pm and 9 pm in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time***.

"General Ross, this is Sub-Zero.  We have reached the outskirts of The Tabanthan Forests.  Shall we hold here"??

"This is Ross.  Yes Sub-Zero.  Hold there, we are almost ready for the full frontal assault on Rito Village CTU headquarters.  Is Colonel Scott in position"??

Alan Scott interrupts over the com:  "Of course I am in position.  All soldiers are ready to go.  Although I have no idea why we are waiting here to start the attack when we know full well that they know we are coming".  

Rulk replies in an annoyed tone:  "Not that it is of your concern Colonel Scott; but we cannot and WILL NOT commence our attack until Commander Skywalker sends word that we have positive confirmation of Rauru and Mineru's arrival.  The entire operation is useless with them being present.  Once they have arrived, our forces will move in for the kill.  

The forces of General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross move about the forest stealthily while Jack Bauer and his elite group fortify Rito Village for the impending attack.  Commander Offee personally meets The last Zonai themselves Rauru and Mineru outside The Wild's Frontier secret passage where they are swiftly brought inside the compound.  Old Man Willow himself protects and fortifies the entrance they use by returning it to a full wooded enclosure to make sure that they cannot be followed in and that Rauru and Mineru can reach the most fortified possible areas at the center of Rito Village.  

"The package has been delivered safely".  Luminara says to Jack over the com.

"Good to know Lumi, because this attack is about to start any second.  Make sure everyone is ready.  This is what we were trained for".  Replies Jack.

.............

***The following takes place between 9 pm and 10 pm in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

    

General Ross personally moves into position, as he himself intends to be the initial onslaught into Rito Village.  Commander Skywalker hangs back with not only his R2 Unit, but also his Samurai and Eternian friends attempting to allow The Force to show him the way of the future through meditation and patience; while the majority of the troops, namely Shadow, who has been trusted with The Chaos Emeralds, Espio, Sub-Zero, and Black Knight under the command of Colonel Alan Scott have regrouped and are prepared for a secondary assault that is executed properly will break through The Rito Village Command Center after Red Hulk's initial strike.  

Jack Bauer has taken note that General Ross and his men have moved into position; which has caused him to move his people accordingly as well.  The Guardians are in position as the first line of defense, while Jack, Johnny Quick, and Chester Cheetah move about the stables with full tactical gear and surveillance equipment.  Rauru and Mineru are held up along with Barris Offee in the Rito Village Command Center, while War Turtle and Zygarde protect the only entrance in or out of the area.  Luminara reunites with Old Man Willow and takes up position near the Slippery Falcon.  

Why do all the cliff hanger moments always seem to happen right at the end of the hour??

..................

***The following takes place between 10 pm and 11 pm in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

   The Red Hulk comes red hulking out of the forest as the solo first wave of the attack.  The Red Goliath starts to power through the five Guardians without being slowed down by them much at all.  "I'm going to get in this fight"  Johnny Quick says over the com to the rest of the tactical squad.

"NO" barks Jack.  "Stick to the plan".  

But Johnny starts to run out of the stable at insane speeds towards the not so jolly red giant.  

"DAMN IT LUMI !!  WHAT IS HE DOING"??  Asks Jack.

"I don't know Jack.  He has gone off com".  Answers Luminara from inside the secured village.  

"He's a wildcard Jack, but I need to help him.  You know how it is for guys like us.  It ain't easy being cheesey" says Chester Cheetah in a defiant, yet heroic set of last words.

"Chester....  CHESTER...  NOOOOOO!!!!!".  Yells Bauer as Chester Cheetah both meet their demise head on as they run into Red Hulk full speed where they are both met with immediate opposition causing their cheese to go crunch one final time.  

As Jack moves back to regroup with the others, Colonel Scott and his men move up the right flank to begin their siege.  

With the CTU Center at Rito Village now in complete lockdown Rauru and Mineru gain the attention of the entire Rito Village defense team.  They announce that they will now reveal "the true intent of why they have come".

..............

***The following takes place between 11 pm and Midnight in the Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

Knowing that time is of the essence and that Gen. Ross and his team of Goobers by Grayson will inevitably break through the defences of Rito Village, Rauru and Mineru speak to their defenders and say that they did not actually come here to allow themselves to be targeted for capture or destruction by terrorist elements against The Village of Rito.  Instead; they, as the last remaining Zonai must end the line of The Hyrulian deities and pass their power on to a young woman who can protect their power and protect it through the centuries.  They look over at the young Jedi Knight in the room who they have hand chosen for this honor.  "We have selected you to be our standard bearer Barris Offee".  Says Mineru with a quaint smile.  

Jack jumps into action as he looks over at General Unduli and states:  "LUMI....  We are going to have to fortify this position if we are going to give The Zonai enough time to finish this ceremony.  We cannot allow Ross's men to break through here before that time.  We need everyone inside protecting the Hyrule royalty".  

Old Man Willow speaks up and says:  "Someone is going to have to go outside the barrier and hold them off.  I can become solid once more, regain my original tree form and block off the entrance".

"It's too dangerous Willow".  answers Jack.  

Zygarde jumps into the conversation to say:  "It is the only way Agent Bauer.  And we are going to go with him".  War Turtle nods in agreement.  

........11:54 pm........

They seal the entrance and Jack thanks Old Man Willow, Zygarde, and War Turtle for their bravery and heroism as they fortify their defensive positions outside the room, meanwhile the ceremony of ending The Zonai and the impending battle both simultaneously approach.

..............

***The following takes place between Midnight and 1 am in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

"DAMN IT LUMI.  How long is this going to take"??  Asks Jack.

"We can't rush the ceremony Jack.  Everything must be done perfectly if this is going to work".  Luminara says in response.  

Jack shakes his head:  "I wish they would have told us what their plan was.  We could have talked The Zonai out of this.  We could have fallen back to Bareeda Naag Shrine and protected them there".  

Luminara puts her hand on Bauer's shoulder in a familiar way and says:  "It was their choice Jack.  Who are we to question the will of The Zonai"??

.........12:32 am............

As the ceremony continues a ruckus can be heard outside as Old Man Willow and the Pokemon defend against the likes of Colonel Scott and his crew.  The Suicide Squad engage under the orders of Colonel Scott, even though Luke and his men, as well as General Ross have not yet arrived.  

The Black Knight, Avengers staple in the 80s comes in swinging, still mad that he was not included in any of the MCU Avengers movies; but he is taken off guard by War Turtle and Zygarde and consumed within the Zygarde Cells.  Although the two pokemon find themselves mismatched against the Sonic frenemies Shadow and Espio.  As everyone knows, base Espio can move at 792 times the speed of sound and has already mapped out the scenario with his detective and computer skills.  He dispatches Zygarde, while War Turtle, the fully evolved version of Squirtle is confronted by Shadow (actually Super Shadow for he is in possession of all The Chaos Emeralds).  Even at base power Shadow can move at 843,000 miles per second; but as confirmed by previous feats, Super Shadow can actually run at over 3 Trillion miles per second, while causing inter-dimensional time rifts going in opposite directions through multi-multiverses, actually moving so fast that everything ceases going slow, but actually causes the universe around him to move as fast as base Knuckles can backward through time.  Once War Turtle is dispatched, all of Alan Scott's tactical team focus on Old Man Willow who is conjuring all power possible in his last stand to buy as much time possible for The Zonai transfer ceremony.  Willow reaches out in his physical form with branch like arms.  He powers through the freezing cold blasts from the hands of Sub-Zero to strangle the Lin kuei ninja on his left side while doing the same to Espio on his right.  Despite taking these two out simultaneously, Old Man Willow is eventually overpowered by the combined forces of Shadow and his emeralds and Alan Scott and his magical green lantern ring.  

..............12:57 am.............

From inside the protected room, as the defenses start to break:  "I believe the transfer ceremony is about complete Jack".  states Luminara with a slightly trembling voice.

"It better be".....  He replies

...............

***The following takes place between 1 am and 2 am in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

The organically reinforced CTU-Rito Command Center begins to give way to the terrorist attackers led by Colonel Scott, who have now finally been joined by General Ross and the rest of The Goobers.  

"GET READY" Jack screams as he pulls out his Glock 19 which makes a clicking noise as if he is pulling the hammer back even though it is double action only.

..............

***The following takes place between 2 am and 3 am in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***  

As the defenses come down, Jack and Luminara begin to flip over the organic conference table they were using as one last line of defense for Rauru and Mineru, who are saying the last few words in their ceremony.  As the two final Zonai fade away and become one with the Hyrulian Ether, Barris Offee, the young Jedi Knight becomes imbued with an incredible amount of power.  

.........2:46 am.......

The Walls come down

............2:58 am...........

Everyone left alive is present in the Wild's Frontier Conference Room.

...........

The following takes place between 3 am and 4 am in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

A lengthy and pitched battle commences as Jack rolls into action moving towards R2-D2 first.  He slips a thermal detonator into the top hatch on R2 and kicks him over to create a diversion for Luminara who draws her lightsaber and moves towards Luke; but not before relieving Samurai #8 of his head after a brief fencing spar.  Agent Bauer puts a hollow point between the eyes of the laser rifle wielding Eternian Soldier; and then the entire natural structure begins to collapse down on itself after the violent stress being applied to it.  The battle rages on.....

...........

***The following takes place between 4am and 5am in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

Jack and Luminara hold their own; but are losing ground in the chaotic battle taking place before them.  When Barriss takes flight, while igniting her lightsaber and using her new found abilities as well as her Force powers.  She first delivers a spin kick to Super Shadow who is knocked to the ground and separated from his Chaos Emeralds which spread across the leaf laden ground in every direction.  While Shadow begins to collect his emeralds, Offee moves towards Red Hulk who is not showing a single sign of fear as the thin young woman flies at his massive frame.  But this is folly on the part of the aging General who is knocked to the ground with ease by Barris and turned back into his human form with a mere waive of her petite hands before she drives her lightsaber through his chest.  Luminara, sees this and is overcome with emotion as to how proud she is of her former padawan and her ability to master such great power.  Master Unduli is still locked in lightsaber combat with Grand Master Luke; and despite putting up quite a fencing match holding off his Form 5 attacks with her Form 3 defensive mastery, she does inevitably fall to the much more powerful Jedi and son of The Chosen One.  

..............

***The following takes place between 5 am and 6 am in The Village of Rito.  Events occur in real time.***

With death and destruction running rampant in this final hour of the story; Grand Master Luke in his wisdom knows that although they may win this skirmish that their mission of Ether domination and great power combination has failed.  Their plans thwarted by the brave CTU Agents of Rito Village.

............5:14 am.............

  As Shadow runs full speed at the power laden Barris Offee, both Alan Scott, and Luke Skywalker focus their full power at The Zonai Jedi Knight.  They do this for forty-five minutes until they reach a level of unbelievable exhaustion.  Expecting that if they should win this contest of raw power that it will end in a massive explosion, they find this hypothesis to be incorrect.  

The Legend of Barris is that she simply disappeared from time and space.  Perhaps to occupy a different time and space elsewhere, where others can continue her adventures and restore the power to Hyrule.   But although the power of The Zonai lives on, that story is for another day.

...............5:58 am..................

Luke, Shadow, and Green Lantern leave the scene of this sad confrontation and return home both victorious and unsuccessful.  But if you don't think anybody escaped from The Trash Pandas.........  Than you don't know Jack.  

FFL 2025, Week 2: TEAM vs. The Washington Redskins

TEAM are: Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, Vah Naboris, Josh Houslander: Swordmaster of Ginaz, Laya Houslander with a Nodachi, Scarlett Houslander, Grayson Houslander, Yakub, Yunobo, Mel Gibson, Set, Dave Parks: Tree Wizard, Tenzen, Ron Burgundy, Champ, Brick, Brian, Veronica, and Baxter.

The Washington Redskins are: Professor Xavier w/ White Lantern Ring, Sinestro, Cade Skywalker, Bat-Mite w/Dwarf Ring #6, Indigo one, Munk, Air Zonk, and Black Dragon #8.

Tremendous, awe-inspiring, perhaps a bit underpriced: The Divine Beasts of Calamitous Hyrule tower about the Rito Village, high on the plateau. Rudania clings to a cliff on the outskirts of the village while Ruta and Naboris flank the huts on either side. Medoh traces lazy rings in the air above. When Professor X and Sinestro arrive, it isn’t the Beasts that draw their attention, but a powerful psychic energy source lurking in the forest below the waiting Rudania. Unnoticed by the constructs, the Professor glides down to the source in a wheelchair of pure White light.

Down on the planks of the village proper, Josh Houslander guards his family against the coming attack. At his side is a rapier; in his hand, a Sardaukaur long blade. Likewise, he has equipped Laya with a Nodachi. A difficult sword to master, but he has trained her well. With them, the Channel Four News Team shuffle awkwardly, not sure what to do with their hands or feet or other appendages. Little do they know, in another hut nearby, Indigo One and Munk are preparing their attack on Vah Medoh with Air Zonk and Bat Mite, equally unaware of the Houslander Clan’s existence.

Professor Xavier reaches the trees and finds a disheveled man wearing a tunic of leaves and bark, hiding among the leaves. He chucks a handful of acorns viciously, which Sinestro brushes aside with the swipe of a yellow claw. As the acorns hit the ground below, they explode and toss handfuls of dirt a foot or two in the air. “Well that’s curious. Were those ordinary acorns?”, asks Charles. Rather than await an answer, he uses his mind to probe that of the Tree Wizard before him, while his White ring probes his very soul. “Remarkably enough, it turns out you are indeed a mutant.” The Wizard scratches his beard and thinks for a split moment. “So you’re saying I was born like this?” 

“No, it appears to be a mutation from all the smoking. You have terminally badass supercancer. And Tree Aids.”

“I drink the blood of the redwood, for mana and nourishment.”

“You’re actually kind of an inbred mess, too, typical Celtic ancestry.”

From behind the tree, a figure with an enormous melanized cranium emerges, his arms wide in prideful invitation. “Yes, witness my greatest creation! The purest white man, product of the barbaric Saxons and the regressive stock of the British Isles!” Again, wasting no time, the Professor probes Yakub’s mind, but the powerful genius of the first race traitor to the Kings of Old Africa overwhelmed him and he fell from his light-chair to the dusty ground, blood gushing from his nose as he lay motionless. Sinestro, in rebuttal, conjures Yakub’s greatest fear - his fellow (yellow) black men. In moments, they have dragged him off to face justice for his crimes. “No, my liege!” screams the Tree Wizard, falling off his branch. Sinestro grabs him and finishes the job, but all the while, Rudania has turned its gaze upon him, and fires its Divine Beast laser to obliterate Sinestro just as Yunobo begins barreling down from his side to the village below.

Back in the town, Josh pokes his head out to see the Goron’s dust trail tearing toward the town. No sooner than he does, he turns his head to see the Indigo Lanterns fly toward the great mechanical bird with Bat-Mite and the Megaman clone. Bat-Mite and Air Zonk disappear within, and in moments Medoh is nosediving to the ground. Bat-Mite reappears without Zonk in the blink of an eye, in an aviator costume, and grabs Indigo One by the collar. “He didn’t make it, you hear me? Oh, he gave it all he had and now there’s nothing left!” He slides to the “floor” at the level of the hovering Lantern’s feet and rolls around sobbing. “He took every last bogey with him, the mad madman. Yakub bless his soul!” At this moment, Yunobo arrives at the village and unrolls, waving his beefy arms frantically at Josh. Not recognizing the warning in time, Josh is shot through the chest from behind by Cade Skywalker who has snuck into the village amidst the chaos and collapses. The Goron charges at him and manages to take him down, but not before he throws a grenade into the hut with the waiting News Team and Houslanders. Laya, who was running out to her wounded father, is tossed out the door by the blast. She scrambles to her feet and to her father’s side. With his dying breath, he bequeaths her his Sardaukar blade. She takes it up to fight alongside Yunobo. Elsewhere, alongside the burning treeline, the hand bearing the White Lantern ring twitches…

As Bat-Mite and the Indigo Tribe members finish giving Rudania the same treatment they did Medoh, the remaining two Divine Beasts set their lasers upon the trio. The Lanterns are destroyed in an instant, while Bat-Mite begins to writhe in melodramatic pain, falling slowly through the air, striking poses of contorted anguish. “Aaah, EEEEE, oh the weakness I’m feeling from the weakness rays!” Laya runs over and drives the blade through him just as he lands on the ground. “Aiiieeee, you got me good, I’m done for!” He smirks; “Whoops, dragon”. As his eyes turn to crosses and a lily springs from the hands clasped at his chest, a black dragon appears in the air above them, laying waste to Vah Naboris with a foul spray of pure entropy. As Vah Ruta moves to brace and retaliate, Xavier reappears in a flash of white light at the edge of the battlefield. Then, a voice boomed from another wooded patch not so far away - “STOP THIS AT ONCE!” Yakub staggers out, beaten but alive, supported on the shoulders of Tenzin and Mel Gibson. “Thank you, my minions. Xavier! You are defeated, you cannot fathom that which is within my mind!” Xavier holds his ring aloft. “Then I won’t leave it intact,” He creates a bubble that expands from the center of Yakub’s head, blasting it apart and taking his two friends' faces off in the process. From his skull emerges the unleashed elder serpent Set, filling the village in an instant, crushing Xavier underfoot as it grabs the black dragon from the sky.

Week 2: Darkseid's Horsmen of Apokolips vs The Cowboy Killers

Followers of the End: Darkseid, Ultron w/ The Infinity Gauntlet including the Power and Time Stones, Tulin w/ 2 Katana Blades, Agent Smith (final death) w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Red Robin w/ 2 Ninja Swords, Grand Admiral Thrawn w/ Green Lantern Ring in a Phoenix TIE Fighter

Marlboro Reds: Harry Potter, Professor McGonagall, Storm, Aang w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Commander Ahsoka Tano in Ahsoka’s Starfighter, Cal Kestis, BD-1, 2 Mandalorian #3A-#4A, Kyle Houslander Dunadan Ranger, Ancient Sith Lord #1

“Welcome to Rito Village!” Tulin speaks from his beak to the Hateful Eight Cowboy Killers who dare step into these protected lands. One may be confused on the numerical literacy of Tulin for the sweet sweet cigarette crew counts more than 8 individuals. However, the common folks don’t have rights in these parts, and Tulin’s eye can see Snips circling in the distance with her starfighter, thus rounding out this wandering crew of 8 individuals.

“Odd… it shows similarities to the airbending temples” says the GOAT avatar (Korra could suck it). “Shame it all must come down.”

Tulin flaps his wings, “Come down you say?” The bird-like creature turns to retreat to a higher elevation in the village while saying over shoulder, “You’ll wish you never came here…”

Immediately following, the Village’s first line of defense takes the form of a master strategist confined to a mere Phoenix TIE fighter who opens fire on the new visitors of Rito. The Grand Admiral was able to strike down the common mandos and singular sith lord. Although, it is a shame he is forced into a machine that stands no chance to the fierce Ahsoka Tano who makes quick work of the opposing pilot.

Ahsoka continues her onslaught as she reigns down hellfire on the village. She obliterates everything in her path for she is simply the most powerful star wars character to have ever fought. This Horsemen team is being killed one by one until it appears everyone is dead and the Cowboy Killers have no work left to do.

Kyle Houslander, the wise Dunadan Ranger, reflects on the victory that is had here, “It seems too easy. I don’t see how Alex Houslander could think he will win it all again. He just had one person kill his entire team. Look at Darkseid’s body here, slain with such simplicity.”

As watcher of this match, I too am confused by the manner in which such a victory has been earned. This match was short and had no suspense, but I suppose the Cowboy Killers are—

Wait, the landscape is… reversing? It appears the village fires are going out and the Horsemen are regaining life. And now a purple blast strikes the Commander’s ship instantly exploding it.

“What magic is this??” Demands Professor McGonagall.

“No magic, simple creature. I control all, and I will stop you creatures so that peace can occur.” Ultron’s voice echoes over the village. The glare of his Gauntlet shines across all, for it was the time stone who did this work.

The second attack wave of Horsemen contains all their might. Agent Smith appears to be on another level of hatred as he destroys Kyle Houslander and BD-1. But mess with the droid and you mess with Cal Kestis, junkyard dawg, who ferociously leaps towards the man in black… only to be split in two, for Agent Smith and his own lightsabers are too much for the Jedi to handle.

“AVADA KEDAVRA” a green bolt strikes down the suited man. “I’ve always wanted to use that spell!” Professor McGonagall grins.

“PROFESSOR” exclaims Harry, “I thought we aren’t supposed to use that spell, it’s unforgivable!”

“If you want to walk out of here alive, you better start using it” replies McGonagall.

The professor shoots another green bolt to the sky and takes down the Rito bird known as Tulin. Harry is disgusted by his mentor’s actions, it’s despicable for her to throw away all her morals… in his state of confusion, Red Robin has been able to sneak up and find his blade into the back of the boy who lived. Aang sees this act too late, but is at least able to airbend Tim Drake off the edge of the village where he falls to his death.

McGonagall is heartbroken to see Harry die, but she is blessed with a quick death from Darkseid and she will never have to come to terms with that death.

Darkseid turns towards the remaining two Killers trying to end this fight quickly, but the combined atmospheric control by Storm and the airbending skills of Aang is enough force to tear the new god apart. The ruler of Apokolips is absolutely shredded to pieces by the bald headed duo.

“Shame, this town suffers because of your interference. Remember that for your next life Avatar, perhaps you’ll be so lucky not to meet me again.You asked for this town to come down, and that it will.” Ultron finishes the last words with a purple blast to the village floor that spreads and spreads until the entire village explodes.

Week 2 Staff Consortium: David Byrne's Meat Suits vs Doctor's Madhouse

Meat Suits: Villager and Isabelle, Moon Knight, Shao Khan w/Scythe and Personal Holtzman Shield, Hank Henshaw w/Yellow Lantern Ring, Airbenders #1-4, Chun Li, One Punch Man, Jade, Black Lantern Goblin, Black Lantern Star Sapphire

Doctors Madhouse: Rogue, Miles Morales, Spider Gwen, Peni Parker, Spider-Ham, Spider-Punk, Spider-Man India, Spider-Byte, Spider-Noir, Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien, Elf #1-7

The Underhills Vs. The Sigmaz

 The Underhills are Iroh, X-24, Abomination, X-Man, Samwise Gamgee (w/ a blue lantern ring), Miguel O' Hara (w/ a green lantern ring), and Pterodactyl #1

The Sigmaz are Link (w/ Ancient Armor) on Link's Motorcycle, Zelda (w/ Bubble Flower), Daruk (w/ Dusk Claymore), Urbosa (w/ helicopter helmet), Revali (w/ topaz rod), Mipha, Master Hand, Odin, and Domestic Terrorist #1-5

Week 2 Democracy: Dolla 49 McRib Vs. The Sigmas in Rito Village

 Dolla 49 McRib is Knull, Dr. Stange, Wonder Woman, Blue Beetle, Cyborg, and Dragon #1-3.

The Sigmas are Legolas, Pit, Anakin Skywalker, King Manwe, Smaug, Darkhawk, and Army Soldier #1-7.  

Everyone in the league will have until 9:00 AM on Monday to vote.

Survivor Series Match #3

 Mean Gene Okerlund:

Currently in the ring, representing The American League, accompanied by their manager Sensational Sherri, weighing in at a combined 1,610 lbs Indiana Jones (w/ Personal Holtzman Shiled), Bowser:  King of Koopa, The 5th Brother, Capt. Britain, Sgt. Slaughter, and THE 8TH WONDER OF THE WORLD: ANDRE THE GIANT.

And now coming down the aisle, representing The National League, accompanied by their manager Miss Elizabeth, weighing in at a combined 1,103 lbs Hulk Hogan, Superman, Atreus, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Bolin, and Chuck Norris.  

Body:  

THIS IS GONNA BE A BARN BURNER POGO.  WE ARE GONNA......

Pogo:

Wait a second Jesse....  Aren't you in this match??

Body:

OH.  MY BAD.  LATER POGO.

Pogo:

We will just wait here a second as Gorilla Monsoon comes on over to fill in for Jesse "The Body".  

.........

Monsoon:

Hey buddy, glad to be with you.  This is gonna be a barn burner Pogo.

Pogo:

So I've heard Gorilla.  Let's get started.  

Monsoon:  

This may be the best match-up yet Pogo.  We have heavy hitters here on both sides.  Four WWF Legends as well as some outsiders that are legends in their own right.  

Pogo:

That's six WWF Legends if you count Sherri and Elizabeth.

Monsoon:

But we don't Pogo, because we are terrible misogynists.  

Pogo:

Let's get this show on the road Gorilla.  

Looks like Bolin is going to take the ring for The NL and Capt. Britain is already in there waiting for him for The AL Squad.  

Monsoon:

Bolin is a tough competitor and certainly has some moves; but I am not sure his earth bending skills are going to translate to the squared circle as well as his brother's fire bending.  

Pogo:  

Very true Gorilla.  Not a whole lot of earth to bend in this arena.  This may be a mismatch.

Here comes the grapple for a test of strength, and Bolin gets thrown into the turnbuckle with ease.  Bolin moves quickly and hops onto the second rope for a jump attack; but CAPTAIN BRITAIN JUST CAUGHT THE EARTH BENDER IN MID AIR GORILLA.

Monsoon:

Quite the precarious situation Pogo.  This may not end very well for the young Arena combatant.  

Pogo:

And here we go Gorilla.  That's a choke slam to the mat from the big Brit.  He hooks the leg and that's an easy three count.  The NL is now down a man.

 Next man up is Atreus.

Monsoon:

More like next boy up Pogo.  And it doesn't look like he'll be facing off against Britain.  Sgt. Slaughter just tagged in.  Atreus moves in for the double drop kick; but he misses and Slaughter takes full advantage.  HE'S GIVING HIM THE KNUCKLE GRIND POGO!!  This could get ugly for the young Atreus; because Slaughter is giving the signal for the Camel Clutch.  He's got him down, trying for the submission.  Here comes the ref and that's it Pogo.  Atreus has just tapped out.  The NL Squad is dwindling fast.

Pogo:

Hogan and Superman, who haven't even seen any action in this match yet seem astounded by their team taking heavy losses early.  Looks like they are arguing about something Gorilla.  

Monsoon:

Seems like they can't decide who is supposed to be in charge of this squad.  I'm not sure two egos this big can come together Pogo.  This ring just isn't big enough to handle them.

Pogo:

I don't think the arena is big enough to handle those two egos.  They aren't known for being great teammates Gorilla.  

Monsoon:

Looks like your old partner Jesse "The Body" is coming in next for The NL.  Maybe some wrestling experience is what they need to turn the tides here.  

Pogo:

They better do something Gorilla, before it is too late.  Looks like Slaughter is coming back to the corner for a tag.  He's going to tag in Bowser, but The 5th Brother takes the tag instead.  

Jesse comes at him hard and delivers some serious blows to the dome of The 5th Brother mixing it up between elbows and closed fists.  Jesse picks up The Inquisitor and here it comes Pogo.  OHHHHHH.  DELIVERS the Canadian Backbreaker with a vengeance.  He is going down for the pin; but where is the Referee?!!?

Monsoon:

The ref has his back turned and is being distracted by Sensational Sherri!!  Jesse has had him down for well over a three count but the ref isn't paying attention Pogo.  Looks like Chuck Norris is running into the ring to get the Ref to turn around.  He isn't the legal man, but he wants that attention.  Now Slaughter is back in the ring and has just knocked Jesse off The 5th Brother and pulled him back to safety.

Pogo:

The Ref has turned back around but doesn't know who the legal men are in this match.  Looks like Chuck Norris is about to mess some people up.  HE'S WINDING UP FOR THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK GORILLA!!  

Monsoon:

He's going to deliver it Sgt. Slaughter; but Andre pulled Slaughter out of the way and pushed the Referee right in Chuck's direction.  ROUNDHOUSE KICK HIT THE REF AND KNOCKED HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF POGO!!  His head went into the 6th row.  We need a new ref in this match quick or we are going to have all out chaos.  Every single competitor just jumped into the ring and I am not sure the springs can handle it.  

Pogo:  

Look at this Gorilla.  We have a new special guest referee.  Two of them actually.  It's former Heavyweight boxing champion Buster Douglas along with Punch Out Ref Mario Mario himself.  They need two experienced guys in here to handle this crowd.  The Refs are going up to Ventura and Norris first.  It looks like they are blaming them both for the ref with the missing head.

Monsoon:  

That isn't right Pogo, it was The Giant that pushed the ref into their path.  But they don't care Pogo......  THEY'RE DISQUALIFYING THEM BOTH.  Norris and Ventura have both been thrown out of this match and sent bak to the locker room Pogo.  It's just Hogan and The Man of Steel left for The NL.  

Pogo:

Here comes Jesse, heading back to the booth now Gorilla.

Body:

DID YOU SEE THAT NONSENSE POGO?!!?  THE REFS ARE ALWAYS AGAINST THE NL.  THIS IS A DAMN TRAVESTY POGO.  AND WHAT ARE YOU SMIRKING AT GORILLA?!!?  HOW THE HELL COULD THEY THROW THE BEST LOOKING, PRETTIEST, MOST TALENTED WRESTLER OF ALL TIME OUT OF MATCH.  I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG POGO.

Monsoon:

WOW!!  Well, Pogo as Jesse and Chuck head back to the locker room with a disqualification, this is going to be a tough one for The NL being down six to two.  Now Pogo, Norris and Ventura are not going to receive deaths for this after being disqualified, are they??

Pogo:

No Gorilla, they are still going to get deaths.  Those are the rules here in The Survivor Series.

Monsoon:

Really??  That just doesn't seem fair.  And I thought Vince McMahon was bad.  The Commissioner of this league sure is an a**hole.

Pogo:

You have no idea Gorilla.  Now let's get back to the match.

 As the referees get things sorted out, Bowser enters the ring for The AL; but it seems that Hogan and Superman are still arguing on their side of the ring.  They can't agree on anything Gorilla, including who should enter the ring first.  And, it looks like Superman is going to be the guy to go in next.   Bowser comes at Supes with an attempted chop; but Superman blocks and returns with a blow of his own.  Supes keeps the upper hand with a couple of well delivered hits.  Superman keeps control of the match by throwing Bowser into his own corner and runs in swiftly to deliver the shoulder barge.  Supes measures Bowser and goes in for a big swing: but Bowser ducks; and.......  HE ACCIDENTLY HIT HOGAN GORILLA!!

Monsoon:

He did indeed Pogo, Superman just accidently hit his partner The Hulkster and Hogan isn't having any part of it.  He looks like he might hit Superman back.  Bowser heads back to his own corner for a tag; and here comes Andre the Giant Pogo, the 8th wonder of the world is really moving and he comes in with a double clothesline knocking Superman over the top rope and both he and Hogan down to the mat outside the ring.  The refs try to gain control; but WHAT.......  Wait....  What's Indiana Jones doing outside the ring over there Pogo??  HE'S GOT A STEEL CHAIR.  He just hit Superman with it and the Man of Steel is down.  Dr. Jones runs back to his corner; but Superman is on the ground and Hogan is trying to shake off the hit from Andre as he climbs back into the ring.  The Hulkster gets into the ring; but Mario the Ref walks past him and starts the ten count on Superman.  

Pogo:  

Hogan is pleading with the ref; but Mario Mario is right.  Superman is the legal man and if he doesn't get back in that ring that count out will have him eliminated as well.  I think there may have ben Kryptonite in that steel chair.

Monsoon:

I'm not sure Hulk can put his differences with Supes aside or not Pogo.  The ref's count is at 5.  

Pogo:

What's this Gorilla??  Hogan was shaking his head no at first; but now he has his hand out.  He's reaching for Superman Gorilla.  

         **HULK HOGAN**:  "We can do this.  We can do it together.....  GRAB MY HAND BROTHER!!!!

Monsoon:

Ref's count is at 7, 8, 9.......  

Pogo:

SUPERMAN TOOK THE HULKSTER'S HAND GORILLA!!  He's back in the ring.  

Monsoon:

Sgt. Slaughter and Dr. Jones are both in the ring Pogo, I'm not sure who the legal man is.

Pogo:

I don't think Superman cares Gorilla.  He is revitalized and taking them both on.  Slaughter takes a red boot to the face to put him down on the mat and Indiana Jones just got power slammed by the Kryptonian.  I think he felt the receipt from that steel chair outside the ring and then some Gorilla.  Superman gets to the top rope in a single bound and puts his hands up in the air.  PERFECTLY EXECUTED BODY SPLASH onto Slaughter.  1, 2, 3.....  

Monsoon:

Slaughter's out and Indiana Jones is moving towards the ropes for a tag; but Supes is too quick.  He intercepts Jones to say I'm not done with you.  One more powerslam from Superman and here's the count.  1, 2, 3.......  Now Dr. Jones is out as well Pogo!!  That's two AL competitors down in just as many minutes.  Superman heads back to the corner and tags Hulk Hogan.  Let's see what the Hulkster can accomplish in this underdog match up.  It still is four to two Pogo.  

Pogo:

That's right Gorilla.  Wait....  What's this.  I think we may have the match up we have been waiting for.  Andre the Giant is stepping into the ring to go head to head with The Hulkster.  Hogan and The Giant start trading blows to the head that I'm not sure how anyone would stay standing for.

Monsoon:

They sure are Pogo.  Hogan comes off the ropes and measures Andre with that punch.  Here comes another, and another, AND ANOTHER POGO.  The Giant is dazed.  Hogan looks to the crowd.  They are going crazy and then he looks to Superman.  Supes is pushing his hands up in the air, giving him the signal.  He's gonna try and body slam Andre the Giant Pogo!!

Pogo:

That's never been done before Gorilla.  I don't know if it is possible, even for The Hulkster.  He gets into position and starts to lift.........  But Andre comes down with a double fisted punch to the back of the head of Hogan.  The Hulkster couldn't do it Gorilla and now he is paying the price.  He is down on one knee taking a beating from The Giant.  The Giant throws Hogan into The AL Corner and the remaining four members start beating Hogan down with a quadruple team effort while Buster Douglas tries to break it up.  Hogan has got to be in some pain now Gorilla.

Monsoon:

Andre tags in Bowser, so he can have some fun with The Hulkster and The KIng of Koopa doesn't waste any time leveling Hogan.  Irish whip in from Bowser but Hogan is able to duck under the clothesline and deliver a clothesline of his own on the way back.  Bowser is down; but will The Hulkster have enough strength to make it over to Superman for a tag??  

Pogo:

He barely gets there in time Gorilla, before Bowser can get to him; but now that Superman is back in, he wastes no time getting some revenge for his partner on the big turtle or whatever he is.  Superman throws Bowser into the turnbuckle and hits with the shoulder barge.  He's dazed and stumbling Gorilla.  And......  He's down.  Here comes the elbow drop and 1, 2, 3.......  Bowser is all done.  Supes got him Gorilla.

Monsoon:

He better look out though Pogo.  Look who just stepped over the ropes.  It's Andre the Giant.  Let's see if Supes can do any better against The 8th Wonder than Hogan could.  Superman takes himself off the ropes and leaps at the big man delivering an elbow to the dome of Andre.  Supes is back off the ropes again, this time delivering the double drop kick.  Andre is wavering Pogo; but he is still on his feet.  Hogan starts yelling to his partner to do it.  Hogan wants Superman to do what he couldn't do.  He wants him to bodyslam the Giant.  

Pogo:

He's gonna try it Gorilla,  Superman is in position, he gets underneath him and BAM.....  Another huge blow from Andre.  And Superman is down on one knee just like Hogan was.  This is amazing Gorilla, even The Man of Steel himself, can't slam The Giant.  Andre delivers a fierce eye gouge to Supes and The Last Son of Krypton is down on the mat getting a taste of Andre the Giant's size 26 boot.  Andre picks Superman back up and flings him into his own ropes.  He's toying with them Gorilla.  He wants Superman to get the tag so he can finish off Hogan first.  

Monsoon:

He may get his wish Pogo.  Superman made the tag to the only other guy left on his team.  Hogan is back in the ring.  Andre is taunting him to come his way.  Hogan delivers the first punch and the second and the third but Andre isn't even budging.  Now it's Andre's turn Pogo.  Andre with the chop and another one and Hogan is down on one knee.  Andre is just pummeling him and having his way with The Hulkster.  This doesn't look good for The NL Pogo.  Andre brings Hogan back to his feet and gives him the Irish Whip in to the ropes.  Andre measures The Hulkster for the finishing blow.  This could be the end of The NL Pogo.  

Pogo:  

The Hulkster is still on his feet Gorilla.  Here comes another punch from Andre.  THEY AREN'T EVEN AFFECTING HIM GORILLA!!  Hogan is shaking his head wildly.  He points the finger at Andre and starts waving it.  Here comes the punch from Hogan.  And another one.  And another one.  Andre is stunned and staggering Gorilla; but still on his feet.  Superman yells to Hogan from the other side of the ring.  He's giving his partner encouragement.  He's reminding him of all the hard work, the prayers, the vitamins, and all The Little Hulkamaniacs out there depending on him.  Hogan is going to go for it again Gorilla.  He gets in position.  Andre is up in the air.  AND HULK HOGAN HAS JUST BODY SLAMMED ANDRE THE GIANT.  I didn't think it could be done Gorilla; but The Hulkster just slammed The Giant.  He's off the ropes, here comes the leg drop, and the pin.  1, 2, 3.......  

Monsoon:

It's done Pogo!!  Hogan has eliminated The Giant!!

Pogo:

It's now two on two Gorilla and both The 5th Brother and Captain Britain have leapt into the ring to take on Hogan; but Superman has joined the fray as well.  The NL members both simultaneously duck clotheslines from The AL.  Hogan and Supes grab their opponents by the arms like they are about to give the Irish Whip; but instead they throw them into each other.  5th Brother and Britain collide and then both hit the mat.  Hogan and Superman jump on both The 5th Brother and Captain Britain at the same time.  They are going for a double pin.  Gorilla, is this even legal??

Monsoon:

Two referees, so I guess they can do two pins at once.  1, 2, 3.........  POGO.......  DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!!?