The Washington Redskins Vs.The Sigmaz

 The Washington Redskins are Aspen, The Sando Aqua Monster, Allicon #1-5, Abe Sapien, Kermit THEE Frog (w/ G27 & G40), Squirtle, Atlantean #9-10, Tommy Oliver, Roy Houslander (w/ The Houslander Family Katana & The Darksaber), Sinestro (w/ The White antern Ring), Chuck Norris, Kup, Bat-Mite (w/ Dwarf Ring #6), The Toxic Crusaders:  Toxie, No-Zone, Major Disaster, & Junkyard, Chian (w/ a Green Lantern Ring), & Danny Ocean.

The Sigmaz are Sanji, Zoro, Jimbo, Robin, & Franky w/ N-Sync in The Thousand Sunny, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael (all w/ Glocks), Jason Voorhees, Mega Man & Rush, Powerglide, Brightburn, & Death.

Week 7 Democracy: TEAM Vs. The Underhills

 TEAM is: Godzilla, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, & Momo, Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, Vah Naboris, Phibian #1-10, Gizmo, Kyle Houslander, Jack Lalane, Moby Dick, DC Thor, Beta Ray Bill, & Go-Bot Renegade #2-4.

The Underhills are:  Black Manta, Mera, Namora, Percy Jackson, The Seacons: Nautilator, Seawing, Overbite, Skalor, Snaptrap, & Tanktail, X-Man, Ikaris, V (for Vendetta (w/ a green lantern ring)), Kyle Rayner, & Xenomorph #6-15. 

Darkseid's Horsemen of The Apocalypse vs. Team

The Horsemen: Ultron w/ The Infinity Gauntlet including the Power and Time stones (FINAL DEATH), Nekron, Black Lantern Darkseid, Black Lantern Apocalypse, Black Lantern Agent Smith, The Eradicator, Zombie Superboy, Grand Admiral Thrawn in The Phoenix TIE Fighter, Wedge Antilles in a Y-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in Cubs Fan Han’s TIE Slicer, Starfire, Eric Cartmen in the Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit, Paradoom #1-3

TEAM: Unicron, Primus, Ego, Blitzwing, Legion of Superheroes: Mon-El, Triplicate Girl, Phantom Girl, Invisible Kid, Star Boy, Lightning Lad, Alex Houslander: Indigo Lantern, Maria Ianni, Alex Houslander w/ Super Scope 6, Yakub, Sweep #1

 The cold vastness that is space was overwhelmed with the sense of the impending doom that would set forth momentarily.  The Justice League Headquarters was the next victim of destruction from the almighty FFL. This match will be hosted and narrated by the esteemed  watcher that is Wendeezys.

 

I sense a feeling of impending doom coming forth to us this week.  We have a titan vs. titan match up in the American League. TEAM and The Horsemen are 2 teams that have Universe Bowl aspirations and this regular season match could hold a lot of weight in the standings at the end of regular season writing.

 

And here comes Ultron, big dick swinging on his final death and wielding the infinity gauntlet with 2 stones (Power and Time).  Darkseid seems to be letting him have his possible final moment knowing who is really the big dawg of this monstrous team.  Also joining the two is Agent Smith and The Eradicator.

 “Hey Wendeezys, are you blind blood? This match started like 30 minutes ago you think we would be the first to show up for our team?” shouts Ultron

 

“Huh” replies Wendeezys

 

Crashes begin to cause ripples through space knocking Wendeezys off his flying Nimbus right into the Justice League headquarters.  

 

 Inside the headquarters we observe a battle. 

*Sorry wendeezys hit his head on the way down causing some brain damage*

 Eric Cartman in the Hulk buster suit unleashes a ballistic assault on both of the Alex Houslander’s from TEAM.  One a renown sniper with a super scope six, and the other wielding a lantern ring in the fight.  Sniper Alex emits a barrage of fire on Eric Cartman.  The accuracy can only be compared to that of Legolas, one of the best archers we have ever feasted our eyes upon. 

 Zombie Superboy comes to the aid of Eric Cartman. Although a replication of Superman and being zombified he remains a strong source of power for this team.  His attack directs right to Sniper Alex who shits his pants in anticipation of the attack causing him to miss his shot and take a right hook that made him die on the spot… while also shitting his pants again. 

 Lantern Alex laughes hysterically at the thought of other Alex shidding them drawers and is attacked by Cartman who unleashes a beam of light from the palm of his hand incinerating the Lantern Alex.

 “Dude totally not kewl, I think they both shit their pants when they died” says Cartman.

 Well my head is feeling better and my flying nimbus is back.  Let's check out the surrounding space for the rest of the fight because it sound like it be boppin out dur.

 Holy hell they do be boxin out here.

 The arrival of Unicron and Primus have the attention of Ultron, Darkseid and The Erradicator.  Looks like off the brand Avengers and Justice League, The Legion of Superheros is duking it out with Agent Smith and Apocalypse.

 Once foes now fighting along side each other Unicron and Primus seem to be working well together.  Bold strategy from TEAM lets see how this plays out Cotton.  

The two sadistic animals begin to attack each other first.  Darkseid a worthy tyrant to fight the rage and murder that consumes Unicron.  Their attacks make ripples travel across space itself.  All while Ultron is taking on the living embodiment of the Transformers.   

 Ultron forced to go all out against the transformer begins to throw lasers across space out of rage because this will not be an easy fight but it unfortunately hits the Justice League building killing his allies Cartman and Zombie Superboy.

 “Sheeeiiittt” says Ultron

 Ultron takes a huge blow from Primus.  Causing his AI to run out of control losing all access to his abilities outside of flight.  He has no choice but to flee the scene for now.

 Darkseid remains the favorite in his fight against Unicron.  His stamina and strength were what gave him the upper hand in this fight.  Bringing Unicron to his knees.  “CITY BOY” screeches Darkseid as he disposes of Unicron.

 Ultron while hiding keeps hearing a voice in his head.  Very subtle but he can still hear it through the heat of battle.

 “Simulation failing”

 Meanwhile the fake Avengers are throwing hands with Agent Smith and Apocalypse.  Or should I say on Apocalypse.  The Legion of Superheros are fighting there to inflict as much friendly damage to Apocolypse as possible.  Agent Smith will have to calculate his next moves carefully.  While this is happening Grand Admiral Thrawn in The Phoenix TIE Fighter does a suicide mission to help the out numbered Agent Smith.  While trying to hit Lightning Lad he missed but hit Invisible Kid instead.  He couldn’t see him but he torched his ass.  Oh hell here comes another its Biggs Darklighter in Cubs Fan Han’s TIE Slicer who was able to hit Lightning Lad this time around.  

 Starfire also joins the fight to help Smith

 Starboy jumps into the action increasing the weight of the wreckage and huals it towards the two Horsemen who are able to effectively dodge the attack.  The Princess Starfire hurls flashes of light through the sky only to be met by Mon-El’s heat vision.  The arrays of light go back and forth for what seems like and eternity until it releases an unrelenting explosion towards the two killing them both. 

 Agent Smith is continuing to dodge the incoming attacks from the remaining Legion of Superheros.  Smith is able to move swiftly enough to attack all 3 of the Triplicate Girl ending her useless life. Haha women 

 What was that?  It feels like the Justice League building is shaking.  Wait thats not a building.  Its Ego hiding his true form!

 Ego starts with an onslaught of attacks.  The angered planet unleashes a blast that destroys Apocalypse and everyone on it.  

 “What the fuck” says Wendeezys in that accent from that hick dude that ranks the random flavors. Iykyk 

 Well we have come down to our final opponents. From the Horsemen we still have Ultron, Nekron, Black Lantern Darkseid, and The Eradicator.  From TEAM we have Primus, Ego and Blitzwing.  

 Wait a minute did I say Nekron

 A sinister laugh is heard from the distance.  My Black Lanterns have done my bidding making me stronger through this whole fight.  No one can stop me.

 “Blitzwing attack this retard” says primus 

 Blitzwing charges toward nekron who avoids the attack but is able to touch him while evading.  This allowed the fatal touch to consume Blitzwing.

 The Horsemen begin the following attacks.  Darkseid and The Eradicator team up to face the remaining transformer.  Darkseid takes charge towards the hunk of metal trying to win this fight with pure strength.  Ego wasn’t going to allow this to happen and grabbed the god right out of space.

 “You may have survived the destruction of a planet, but this time the only thing that will be destroyed is your legacy” says Ego as he crushes Darkseid into almost nothing.

 Ultron still around the fight with his AI going more and more crazy.  

 “Abort simulation, simulation failed” repeating in the head of Ultron who begins to lose sanity.

 Nekron and The Eradicator are all that are helping against these two Titans from TEAM.  The end is looking near for the Horsemen as The Eradicator goes down.  Leaving only Nekron to fight planets.  

 “GET OUT OF ME FREAKING HEAD MAN” screams Ultron “I CAN’T TAKE THESE VOICES ANYMORE MAN”

 Ultron makes a b line for the two planets.

 “NO, STOP, DON’T DO THIS” shouts Nekron who knows that Ultron is going for the Ultimate suicide mission but his words couldn’t over power the voices in his freaking head man.

 With the power of the Gauntlet Ultron is able to destroy everything insite besides Wendeezys tho because he da Goat.

 …

 …

 …

 …

 …

 …

 “Simulation Complete, did you enjoy your possible future Mr.Ultron” says his internal AI

 “Who the fuck is Wendeezys?” asks Ultron.

The Washington Redskins vs The Cowboy Killers

 The Washington Redskins are:

Sinestro (w/ White Lantern Ring), Sodam Yat, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, Air Zonk, Thundercracker ,Skywarp, Powergirl, Scar, Quicksilver w/ Talleyhawk, Steelheart w/ Stronghold, Steelwill w/ Rayzor, The Copper Kid w/ Mayday, & Colonel Bluegrass w/ Sideman in the Mirage, Star Wolf in the Geonosian Spy's Ship, Twincast w/ decibal & Legout (Thundercracker's pet dog) Buster, Edwin Zacharski (the 3^rd), Jerry Zacharski, Little Beaver, & Andrew Laidlaw in a heavy Star Cruiser, & Cybertronian Guardians #2-5

 

The Cowboy Killers are:

Ajax, Hecate, Sky Lynx, Commander Ahsoka in a Stealth X-Wing, Superman, Magneto w/Red Lantern Ring, Legends Leia Organa w/C3P0 and Hope Summers In and ID4 Transport Ship, Storm, Beowolf, & Blue Lantern #2A

 

 

Superman struggles to move being held down by the powers of Sinestro, Scar, and Sodam Yat. Next to him lies his wounded comrades Blue Lantern #2A, Hecate and Ajax. He glances out of the window to see his team's ID4 transport ship in the distance, well beyond range.

 

"Far enough" says a defeated Superman as he turns his face towards the transporter room and focuses his heat vision. The Justice League Satellite headquarters explodes, killing everyone on board.

 

Previously.....

 

Ahsoka  and Star Wolf find themselves in a dog fight, both excellent pilots who are finding it difficult to lock on to the other. The Mirage and Heavy Star Cruiser join the battle and with the added laser blasts Ahsoka is unable to dodge them all and is destroyed along with her ship. Sky Lynx quickly avenges his teammate by taking out both the Mirage and the Geonosian Spy’s ship. The heavy star cruise takes some heavy hits prompting its occupants to get into an escape pod , which attempts to dock at the Justice League HQ. Sky Lynx is unable to take out the escape pod as he is surrounded by several gigantic robots, BL Omega Supreme and the Cybertronian Guardians. They each grab a part of Sky Lynx and tear him apart with little effort.

 

Magneto peers outside at BL Omega Supreme and the other Cybertronian Guardians. He attempts to transform them into compact cubes when Thundercracker and Skywarp fly in. He stops them mid flight but is unable to crush them with his power. Magneto is able to contain the transformers but is struggling to do much more. Superman sees this and begins blasting through each transformer. As he gets to BL Omega Supreme Magneto becomes exhausted and with his regained strength BL Omega Supreme punches Superman knocking him unconscious. After having patiently waited for his moment Air Zonk swoops in firing his weapon from the Air Zonk universe which Mageneto is powerless to control, and blasts Magneto away. This creates a vacuum in the room and sets off the emergency alarm. Air Zonk expertly zigs and zags through all of the debris when right before he is clear a small piece of shrapnel touches him and kills him.

 

Blue Lantern #2A is able to easily finish off the weakened BL Omega Supreme and then floats over to Superman and uses his powers to help him regain consciousness.

 

Leia, C3PO, and Hope Summers, responding the alarm, make their way into their ID4 transport ship. "We need to get as far away from here as possible." Exclaims Leia as they undock. They don't make it far before Power Girl crashes into the cockpit, causing Leia and Hope Summers to get sucked into space. Not C3PO though, he was responsibly wearing his space seatbelt. DC physics apply so they are just dead. Superman intercepts Power Girl before she can do anymore damage. She kows she is no match for superman and flees back to the Justice League HQ. Superman turns to C3PO "Get this ship as far from here as you can." then chases after power girl. C3PO looks down at the control panels and mutters "Oh dear".

 

Power Girl crashes into the Justice League Satellite where Sinestro and Sodam Yat are squaring off against Hecate and Ajax.

 

Meanwhile, the crew of the recently docked heavy star cruiser’s escape pod are roaming around when they hear the emergency alarm go off. They find their way to the teleportation room.

 

Andrew Laidlaw turns to Twincast orders him to the control panel.

 

Twincast looks at the controls while the Zacharski bros and Buster find space suits to put on. Luckily Buster finds Krypto’s suit laying around.

 

Twincast looks a bit confused but starts pushing some buttons. Andrew Laidlaw & Little Beaver step on to the teleporter and moments later they are gone.

 

The Zacharski bros and buster step up next and are quickly transported away.

 

Twincast begins programming it to go for himself and Decibal when Beowolf and Storm barge into the room and shoots lightning through the control panel. The transporter begins building up energy as the four throw each other around the room.

 

 

The Zacharski bros and Buster reanimate and find themselves in an unfamiliar ship. They begin looking around and eventually work their way to the bridge which appears to be blown open. Then they notice C3PO sitting in his seat.

 

“Oh dear!” C3PO exclaims as they pick him up and toss him out of the ship. They also notice the body of Andrew Laidlaw floating around outside of the ship.

 

“Bummer!” exclaims Jerry. “What do we do now?”

 

“We wait” replies Ed Zacharski.

 

Jerry sits down and kicks his feet up on the console. “Right on!” he says as they watch the ship float away from the Justice League Satellite. They wait for some time until it is small in the distance, where it lights up as it explodes.

Week 6 Consortium: Sigmas vs David Byrne's Meat Suits

Sigmas: The Blob, Mystique, The Black Order: Prox Midnight, Black Dwarf, Corvus Glaive, and Super Giant, Mr. Sinister, Dark Hawk, Sleep Walker, Nightmare, Titanus, Deadshot, Bane, Huntress, Maxwell Lord, Ramjet, and Dark Side Acolytes #1-9

David Byrne's Meat Suits: Black Beetle, Brainiac 5, Jarro, Guy Gardner, Atrocitus, Hank Henshaw w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Metallo, Jade, Deathstroke, Power Ring, Slippy Toad in the Mario 2 Spaceship, Bill Cipher, The Last Autobot, Orange Lantern Ghosts #1-5, and Rebel Troopers #1-10

Grayson's Goobers Vs. The Underhills

 Grayson's Goobers are:  Alpha Trion & Omnius Robot #1-15, Commander Stargazer w/ Slybird & Macgyver in a Two Seater B-Wing, Alan Scott, Dash Rendar w/ Leebo, John Arbuckle w/ Odie, Sam Bonser (w/ a crysknife), Conner Weidman (THE DRINK), Tom Brady (w/ crysknife), Ukrainian Special Forces Soldier #8, Chief Chirpa, Princess Kneesaw, & Ace Duck in The Outrider, IG-88 in The IG-2000, Skyfire, Octane, Hyperion, Agamemnon & Juno, & Dr. Doom & Nermal in Mando's Naboo Starfighter.

The Underhills are:  The Death Star Commanded by Revan Reborn, Jedi Knight Guardian #2-10, Sith Marauder #1-5, & Xenomorph #6-13, Starkiller in Kyle's Jedi Starfighter, Darth Talon in a TIE Dagger, Bossk & Greef Karga in Hound's Tooth, Bo-Katan in an A-Wing, Bastilla Shan in a B-Wing, General Zod, Matrix, Neo (w/ 2 blue lightsabers), & Steel.  

Welcome to Space ladies and gentleman.  Out here in the deep....  The final frontier......  We of course are putting the fantasy back in Fantasy Fantasy this week as we are not in real space; but the fake space that NASA, the government, and the media talk about all the time.  We are pretending like what they say is real and that it is possible to get past The Van Allen Belts.  As if there was truly something reachable beyond the firmament of the earth.  

This match, btw; will be fought completely in space itself and not in or on The Justice League Satellite Headquarters because the very first thing Revan and his peeps in the Death Star did was blow The JLA HQ up.  Revan is now recharging the weaponry on The Death Star preparing for its next blast.  aCksHuLlY......  That was the second thing Revan did as this match started.  The first thing he had to deal with was getting these d*** Xenomorphs of of his Death Star.  Not sure what genius was behind putting an alien that can live on its own in space inside his main ship when their entire movie series is about them taking over ships and killing everyone on board.  Luckily Revan has developed a devout loyalty among his half Jedi, half Sith crew whom he orders to get the Xenomorphs off of his ship.  The Force users from both sides of the aisle succeed in this mission; but Jedi Guardians #4 & 6, plus Sith Marauder #2 all perish in this friendly fire before they shove them out of THE GODD*** AIRLOCK.  Still not sure at this point how many aliens died by lightsaber before they got them out and how many are still floating around in space in the service of The Underhills.  I never was very good at math.  

 Dash Rendar has volunteered to lead the assault on The Death Star for The Goobers.  He has selected an elite crew of Goobers to operate the systems and weaponry of The Outrider to insure that everything goes off without a hitch.  His droid partner Leebo is of course in the co-pilot's seat; while Ace Duck, an excellent pilot himself is utilized for his perfect aim.  He and Tom Brady operate the front and rear guns of the ship.  Connor and Sam are the technical crew; but they are mostly just killing Busch Lights and talking about how cool Sam's new crysknife is while Conner The Drink (still don't know what the crap that even means) endlessly rips darts next to the hyperdrive.  Chief Chirpa and Princess Kneesaw are in the seats behind Dash.  They can't reach any of the ceiling switches that those seats are designed for; but they are laughing it up like fuzzballs tend to do as they use the vinyl seats to rub feces off their butts and pick lice out of each other's hair (a tasty snack when you are stuck in a space ship for that long).  John Arbuckle and Odie are hanging out in the lounge area playing fetch, waiting just in case Dash and the boys need the owner of Garfield to step up and use the amazing God Given skills that we all know he has.  Ukrainian Special Forces guy must have been in the bathroom or something, I don't remember seeing him.  As they accelerate to attack speed with the other ships following behind them, they all know that the space battle is about to begin; but thus far all they have done is pick off a couple of floating Xenomorphs as target practice.  Ace Duck made an amazing shot that took two Xenomorphs out with one laser blast; but Tom Brady, a stickler for the rules yelled to him that:  "THAT ONLY COUNTS AS ONE".  

The two Bounty Hunter Ships; The IG-2000 and Hound's Tooth are locked in a battle that appears that both of them are standing totally still.  IG-2000 has far better speed because of IG-88's maxed out mods from recently doing the Chewbacca event; but everybody knows that Hound's Tooth has health and defense that are straight up off the chain.  IG-2000 is double attacking with his basic and attacking way more often; but Hound's Tooth is wicked annoying and just keeps getting protection up with foresight.  IG-2000 gets some serious RNG and gets lucky with a crit hit on its double attack to take Hound's Tooth into the yellow and then finish it off; but IG-2000 was already in the red and is finished off by a basic blat from The Death Star.  IG-88 does have the capability to survive in space on his own; but he does not escape the ship in time.  

Skyfire and Octane a former Decepticon who turned Autobot and a current Decepticon that turned oil tycoon and dude not on either team are in their jet forms flying through the stars as they are caught by surprise by Bo-Katan, Bastilla Shan, and Juhani in their rebels ships.  The Star Wars chicks are pretty good at flying for girls; but they are finding that their proton torpedos and concussion missiles are not having much success against the Cybertronian metal of the much larger Transformer jets.  Octane in his M978 Fueler Jet form is able to take out Juhani's B-Wing before being destroyed by Bo and Bastilla; but the A-Wing and B-Wing combo are not able to take out the ultimate Autobot Jet.  

No hate on Hyperion; but he gets quickly ratioed by General Zod.  If you don't understand that process you are either a Marvel Slappy or a Retard.  

Alan Scott and Neo on the other hand is a pretty rad throw down.  Pitched battle as the Fantasy Fantasy Watchers of yesteryear used to frequently regurgitate.  Scott's green energy that is exactly like the other green lanterns; but somehow completely different and purely coincidental in name and methodology cuz magic.......   is giving The Chosen One quite a run for his money.  So much so, that Neo has said:  "Whoa".......  No less than thirty-seven times.  The fight has a lot of fast moving switching to slow-mo scenes with the backdrop of stars in space.  They must have used purple screen like George Lucas so it could pick up the green energy blasts and white lightsabers.  Or maybe they went old school and used blue screen and just forgot to color in the white lightsabers like that Darth Vader scene in The New Hope before the special edition came out.  Either way, the fight bopped hard.  6.5 stars out of a possible 4.  After all the magical flying and kung fu was done though, the skirmish eventually ended with two lightsabers going into the chest of ol' Al Scott.  

 Agamemnon and Juno roll up in some super fancy, modded out space meks that would make any floating brain in a jar jealous; with Stargazer and Macgyver acting as Wingman in their B-Wing.  They see two obvious DEI picks floating around clueless and assume that some chick and a black guy must be another NASA mistake that they left stranded.  Oh well, maybe Elon Musk and sPaCe fOrCe can come rescue them or something.  The two giant Cymek Titans pull up and try to get rowdy against the two DC Characters; but they quickly find out that although they still seemingly have the upper hand that Steel and Matrix might just be a little more than a big hammer and a big rack.  The S on their chests must not stand for stupid like they originally thought.  This battle is too, quite pitched.  Agamemnon and Juno are still super big and bad though and are able to use their myriad claws, guns, fire stuff, and other neat toys to keep Steel and Supergirl at bay.  They gain the upper hand; but the scales are definitely tipped for The Underhills when Zod and Neo show up to play.  Zod is able to take out Agamemnon and Neo does the same to Juno; but they don't get there in time to save the lives of Superman's buddies who fall to the adorable Titan couple.  The B-Wing tries to escape the encounter and regroup with the other Goobers; but Zod hits their gyroscope ship in the tailwing with his heat vision and ruins their retreat.  

As the Death Star's main laser cannon warms up for the next blast, The Goobers put together a fool proof plan that they are confident will succeed in the destruction of The Underhills.  Via com, Dash Rendar, Alpha Trion, Skyfire, and Victor Von Doom discuss the details before the action begins.  As Alpha Trion in his much larger and heavily armored Autobot Ship is attacked by Starkiller and Lord Talon in their fighters, Dr. Doom and Nermal in Mando's cromed  out Naboo Starfighter joins the skirmish and makes a dogfight out of it.  Dogs....  "I wish for a dog", Dr. Doom thinks to himself as he is stuck in his vacuum sealed cockpit with Nermal the cat.  The inside of the ship basically smells like a mix of spolied Russian dressing and cat urine.  They put a lot of thought into this ship when they made the modifications to take out the droid compartment and add the area in which Nermal is lounging; but a litter box and some tidy cat breeze was not part of it.  

In the meantime though.....  

What Revan and The Underhills do not realize is that this skirmish is merely a diversion from the true master plan of The Goobers.  

Skyfire and The Outrider are secretly docking with each other, so Dash Rendar himself can go on an extremely dangerous solo mission to knock out the deflector shield of The Death Star.  Once this is completed, it will make it much easier for The Outrider to target their concussion missiles into the main reactor and destroy The Death Star completely.  The Outrider and its crew will then have to navigate the narrow trench of The Death Star while evading the turbo lasers, gun turrets, and short range TIE Fighters.  Their flight plan will have to be conducted flawlessly; but the shot they make to start the chain reaction to blow The Death Star up from the inside will have to be even more perfecter.  It might even have to be the most perfectest.  As Commodore Rendar prepares to deboard The Outrider, he calls upon Captain John Arbuckle to come up to the cockpit and take over as the main pilot before they begin their attack run.  As a heartfelt goodbye takes place between John and Dash, who is worried that "he may never see her again" in regards to The Outrider they part ways......  But the action in the cockpit is just getting started.  And by action, I mean the furry farting contest being conducted by Odie and the ewoks Chirpa and his daughter Kneesaw.  The smell is just as bad as "the breath on that thing" in that ridiculous scene in Jaws 4 with Michael Caine.  Lt. Ace Duck and Lt. JG. Tom Brady from the gun turrets join in the fun too.  Ace eats three raw fish and throws down a feathery bit of foul, or was it fowl flatulence, while Brady channels his inner Gronk the Homie by shotgunning a Busch Latte and throwing down a girlie, Vegan SBD.  The farts are getting more and more intense in and out of the cockpit, and at first Leebo is annoyed but then decides "if you can't beat em, join em".  I didn't even know robots could fart until right now; but boy was I proven wrong.  Robot farts smell like a sort of acrylic paint sensation with a mix of DOT 3 Brake fluid and iron deficient baby stool.  BUT PRINCESS KNEESAW WOULD NOT BE UNDONE......  She decides it is time for her to shine and truly take control of this match.  She unleashes what would have been the winning fart of this contest had it not broken the rules and materialized as more than simply air passing through a mound of feces but instead became the very essence of fecal matter itself as she blasts a fiery deluge of butt pee out of her tiny furry butt that coats the control panel of The Outrider with a melted dark Nestle with almonds look that would have made an intoxicated Exxon Ocean Ship Captain proud.  Airman Conner Da Drink is  laughing hysterically in the back and I think I even heard some laughter from the can, where I think Private Danylo of The Ukrainian Special Forces still is (not really sure though, I still haven't seen the guy).  Chief Warrant Officer Sam Bonser is doing The Sign of The Cross and wondering how he ever got caught up with this insane group of De-Gens; but then reminds himself that he was made to suffer and that hanging out with a group of De-Gens is his lot in life.  But needless to say, they are professionals and have a job to do; and although this spaceship may resemble the cigar laden backyard of a Houslander Family Party............  This Death Star isn't gonna destroy itself.....              

The hope was that Alpha Trion and The Omnius Robots, along with their wingman Dr. Doom would hopefully be able to keep the fighting focused on them; but as the countdown concludes and The Death Star finally completes its warm up sequence, The enormous Autobot Ship is targeted and blown to pieces by The Death Star.  The dogfight between Dr. Doom being double teamed by Starkiller and Darth Talon.  Doom and the super useful Nermal the cat manage to take out The Jedi Starfighter Starkiller borrowed from Kyle Houslander; but The King of Latveria is eventually taken out by a proton torpedo blast from The TIE Dagger piloted by Talon.

Skyfire, the former master scientist of the Cybertronian Academy, with Dash Rendar on board comes in close to a landing platform of The Death Star; but The Autobot finds that he is no longer in control of his own actions.  He is being brought in by the powerful tractor beam of The Imperial Space Station.  Skyfire attempts to transform into robot form; but he is hit by an Ion Cannon from The Ultimate Weapon.  Skyfire, now being held completely motionless is being sent into an extreme heat, trash melting mechanism for debris (it is 2025 after all and The government of The Empire has gone woke; all ships must be equipped with clean/green energy trash disposal systems instead of dumping their garbage into space like the old administration used to do (silly libtards)).  As Skyfire's Spark is extinguished with Commodore Rendar still trapped inside, Dash's last words are murmured under his breath:  "It's all up to you now Arbuckle"...........

 John Arbuckle, now in the Captain's chair of the modified YT-2400 Light Freighter known as The Outrider, dials in and prepares his ship and crew for their attack run on The Death Star.  He knows that everything depends upon them to defeat The Underhills and win the day.  He focuses his attention on the mission and thinks to himself:  "This is where the training kicks in"........  

As the situation intensifies even further:  Conner, puts his hand on Sam's shoulder and says:  "I feel dizzy.....  Do you think it is a disturbance in The Force"??  Sam looks him in the eye and says:  "No......  That's diarrhea My Guy"......   

Captain John Arbuckle with his trusty aid Odie in his lap locks in and begins his attack run.  This is for all the marbles.....  He knows it.  Everyone on the ship knows it as they bravely swoop into the trench to begin their attack run.  John, via his nerves of steel reinforce his confidence and intensify his heroic nature.  

They take the brunt of the first laser blast going into the trench........

 

And that's it......  Are you guys still here??

The match is over.

Wait.  Wait.......  You didn't really think the guy from Garfield was going to blow up The Death Star did you??

Bill Cosby and Scar-Jo's Leather Pantsed Trash Pandas Vs. The Sigmaz

 Bill Cosby and Scar-Jo's Leather Pantsed Trash Pandas are Emperor Palpatine in his Shuttle, Shaak Ti in a Jedi Starfighter, Luminara Unduli in a Stealth X-Wing, Barris Offee in an A-Wing, Commander William Adama in The Battlestar Galactica, Iron Man, Adam Warlock, Black Hand, Zodiak, Cosmos, Windrazor, Voltron, & Black Lantern #6-8.

The Sigmaz are Gurren Lagan, Grand Moff Tarken w/ The Executrix Pilot, Executrix Co-Pilot, Executrix Gunner, & Executrix Crew Member #1-5 in The Executrix, The Grand Inquisitor in a Stealth X-Wing, 7th Sister & ID9 in a Stealth X-Wing, 8th Brother in a Stealth X-Wing, Master Chief & Noble Team:  Carter, Cat, Jun, Emile, Jorge, & Noble Six in The UNSC Infinity, Vorian Atreides & Seurat in The Dream Voyager, Edrik the Guild Navigator, Manford Torondo, Anari Idaho, & Lord Zarack in The Ark, Scorpononk, Zombie Blue Lantern, God Emperor of Mankind w/ The Great Mothership, Jedi Master #2A in The Xanadu Blood, Jedi Master #3A in Cassian's U-Wing, Jedi Master #2A in Bistan's U-Wing, & Vampire Jedi Master in an A-Wing.

Week 6 Democracy: The Doctor's Madhouse Vs. Dolla 49 McRib

 The Doctor's Madhouse are: 

-Batman, Robin, & Alfred in The Javelin. 

-Captain Atom 

-Red Tornado 

-Firestorm

-Ursa 

-Black Adam w/ Osiris & Isis. 

Ranx:  The Sentient City 

-Trigon 

-Star Sapphire #2 (FINAL DEATH). 

Daxomite #1-4. 

Parademon #1-10.  

-SHIELD Agent #1 & 2 in a Quinjet.

Dolla 49 McRib is: 

-Wonder Woman in a Jedi V-Wing. 

-Amazo (w/ The Space Stone). 

-The JSA:  The Spectre (FINAL DEATH), Dr. Midnight, Hourman, Starman, & Mr. Terrific all operating The Xyston Clash Star Destroyer.

-Steppenwolfe (w/ The Anti Life Equation).

-Darth Malak (in Mandalorian Armor) in a Jedi Starfighter.  

-Dr. Fate (FINAL DEATH).

-Count Dooku (in Mandalorian Armor) in a TIE Advanced.

-Beast Man. 

FFL 2025 Week 5: Sigmas VS. Sigmaz

Sigmas: Su-Yin, Blade, Mun-Starr, Witch King of Anmar on Mordor Horse, Smaug, Faramir, Melkor, King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, Nessa, MLK Jr,The Blob, The Black Order (Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf, Corvus Glaive, Supernight) Nightmare, Griffith, Titanus, Lord Zedd, Goldar, Ki Adi Mundi, Qui Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker, Marth, Mario, Luigi, Tarnish, Torrent, Aatrox, Ornn, Darkhawk, & Sleepwalker.

Sigmaz: Guts, Goku, Gurren Lagann, Vash the Stampede, Azula, Tai Lee, Mai, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir, Odin, Death, Bacchus, Pan, Pegasus, Asura, Brightburn, Spawn, Lobo, Michael Meyers, Jason Vorhees, General Radahn, The Power Rangers, Zordon, TMNT w/ Glocks, Shredder, Grand Moff Tarkin, Pilot, Co-Pilot, Gunner and Crew Member #1-5 in Executrix, The Great Goblin, 2 Goblin warg Riders, Malcolm X in Vibranium Suit, Mike Tyson, George Foreman, Unabomber w/ Iron man Suit.

FOREST

Sigmas: Su-Yin, Witch King of Anmar on Mordor Horse, Farmir, Melkor, King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, Nessa, Marth, Mario, & Luigi.

Sigmaz: Guts, Azula, Tai Lee, Mai, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir, Odin, The Power Rangers, The Great Goblin, & 2 Goblin Warg Riders.

We start this match between the brothers from another mothers in the Forest region of the Playoff Planet. As the Sigmas have set up a defensive position amongst the trees. While the Sigmaz are roaming the forest searching for their opponent.

Azula instructs Tai Lee to scout ahead. Tai Lee uses her gymnastics abilities to swing from tree to tree like Tarzan. Eventually, she finds the Sigmas and swings back to Azula. When she arrives at Azula, she states “I found them! They’re up ahead about 200 yards in front of us.” Azula instructs the rest of the Sigmaz to spread out evenly and attack the Sigmas from all sides. 

The Sigmaz follow orders and have the Sigmas surrounded. Azula shoots a powerful blue flame at Mario & Luigi, burning them to a crisp, and that acts as the signal for the rest of the Sigmaz to attack. 

The Goblin Warg Riders charge towards Faramir, one to each side of the man of Gondor. At the very last second he rolls out of the way and catches one of the wargs' legs with his sword. This causes the warg to flip forward and kills the Goblin riding it. The other Goblin turns around and charges towards Faramir. Faramir acts quickly though and takes out a knife from his boot and delivers a strike into the chest of the goblin. Faramir takes a sigh of relief, but it is short lived though as the Great Goblin had picked up a log and smashed Faramir’s head in from behind. Melkor takes out The Great Goblin with one fell swoop, destroying his own creation.

The Power Rangers attack Nessa and Tulkas. But their attempt stood no chance as Tulkas used his brute force to take out the rangers. He charges the group with the strength of an elephant stampede and kills the red and black ranger.  The blue ranger tries to retaliate by kicking Tulkas in the back. The attempt was feeble tho, as the kick felt like a pillow to the Valar. Tulkas turned around and palmed the blue ranger skull and squeezed till his head exploded. Then in one quick move Tulkas punched the pink ranger in her chest so hard her neck snapped from the whiplash then he ripped one of the legs off the yellow ranger and stabbed his femur through his chest. All while this was happening, Zordon was left defenseless and Nessa took him out with ease.

The god killers, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir & Odin work together to try and defeat the gods from Middle Earth. Odin and Tulkas have a strongman competition of a battle, and after a long exhausting battle. Tulkas is victorious but greatly hurt and tired. Kratos is able to finish the job and take out Tulkas. Though the god killers were able to take out one god, they were not successful in taking out the rest of the Valar. Melkor and company were too strong and defeated the group.

Guts and Marth had a cool sword fight to determine who was the master sword wielder. After a close and exhausting battle Guts was able to edge out Marth. But his victory was short lived as Guts caught a blow to the head from the mace of the Witch King.

The trio from ATLA, Azula, Tai Lee and Mai have a tall task as Su-Yin, the majority of the Valar and the Witch King are still alive on the Sigmas. The girls put up a good fight, they take out Su-Yin and then surround the Witch King. The Witch King growls “No man can kill me” The three girls chant back “We are no men”. Mai throws her throwing knives at the Witch King and is able to break the chain of the mace. Then Azula uses her strong blue fire bending and melts the witch king.

Melkor had seen enough and took out the trio from ATLA with one hand.

Melkor, King Manwe, Varda and Nessa will join their teammates in the city. 

DESERT

Sigmas: Smaug, Nightmare, Ki Adi Mundi, Qui Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker, Tarnish, Torrent, Aatrox, Ornn, Darkhawk, & Sleepwalker. 

Sigmaz: Death, Bacchus, Pan, Pegasus, Asura, General Radahn.

The two teams face each other in the middle of the desert. Each team standing in a line facing the other team about 50 yards apart. 

Anakin is the leader of the Sigmas in this region and calls for Qui Gon, Ki Adi, Tarnish, Torrent and himself to take on General Radahn. While the rest of the Sigmas will take what's left of the Sigmaz.

Anakin instructs the group to surround the General and attack all as one. Just as he finishes saying that, Radahn takes out Tarnish and torrent from one large swing of General Radahn’s sword. The three jedi then work as one and start taking Radahn out slowly and steadily with their lightsabers. They are going with the death by 1000 cuts method. Though the Jedi are starting to become visibly tired, Qui Gon catches a slash from one of General Radahn’s blades. Ki Adi goes to help but is stomped on by Radahn and the two are defeated. Anakin is angered by the death of his friends and lets a bit of the darkside through. He jumps on the back of Radahn and stabs him in the back with his lightsaber and then uses gravity to pull him and the blade all the way down the back of Radahn.

While that battle was happening, Smaug, Nightmare, Aetrox, Ornn, Darkhawk and Sleepwalker attacked Death, Bacchus, Pan, Pegasus, & Asura.I missed most of the battle as I was enthralled with the General Radahn fight. But all that was left standing from this battle was Death on the Sigmaz. 

Now all that’s left standing is Anakin and Death. Anakin attempts to throw Death using the force but it has no effect on the cosmic entity. He then stabs Death through the chest with his lightsaber but it also has no effect. Death sucks the soul out of Anakin and then manifests itself as Padme to soothe Anakin and bring him happiness in his last breathing moments. 

Death will join the Sigmaz in the City.

CITY

Sigmas: Blade, Mon-Starr, MLK Jr, The Blob, The Black Order, Griffith, Titanus, Lord Zedd, Goldar, Melkor, King Manwe, Varda, & Nessa.

Sigmaz: Goku, Gurren Lagann, Brightburn, Spawn, Lobo, Michael Meyers, Jason Vorhees, TMNT w/ Glocks, Shredder, Executrix, Malcolm X w/ Vibranium Suit, Mike Tyson, Muhammed Ali, George Foreman, & The Unabomber w/ iron Man Suit. 

This battle starts on a heater as Brightburn goes on the single greatest tear I’ve ever seen in my history of FFL match watching. 

Brightburn flies into the air, zooms by Titanus and uses his heat vision to cut the dinosaur robot mech in half. He then picks up Lord Zedd, flies into the Thermosphere and drops him. He screams as he falls before hitting the city streets and smashing like a bug to a windshield. Goldar goes to attack Brightburn but his attempt was laughable as Brightburn grabs Goldar and flies through multiple skyscrapers while punching his face in. By the time Brightburn is finished, Goldar’s head is not even attached to his body anymore. The skyscrapers that Brightburn flew through are collapsing and causes casualties on both teams. The debris takes out Malcolm X, Mike Tyson, Muhammed Ali, George Foreman, & The Unabomber on the Sigmaz. While also taking out MLK Jr, Griffith and Black Dwarf on the Sigmas. To finish off this tear by Brightburn, he grabs Mon-Starr by his leg and throws him into the sky and out into the atmosphere to his inevitable death.

The Brightburn performance was so impressive he was getting active cheers from his teammates. An act I’ve never seen before. Though the happiness was short lived, as the Valar had seen enough of this. Brightburn went to attack Melkor and the rest of the Valar and he stood no chance as their godly powers were too strong for the boy. Melkor used his powers as the first Dark Lord to remove Brightburn’s head from the rest of his body. 

Once Brightburn was defeated, Grand Moff Tarkin called his men to start shooting down onto the city from Executrix as the starship has now gotten just above skyscraper height. Melkor calls for the Sigmas to take cover while he orders the Black Order to work together with Blob to take down the starship. Blob has the members of the Black Order run into him as fast as they possibly can and then he uses his muscles (& fat) to launch the Black Order onto the ship. The Black Order lands on the ship unnoticed and sneaks inside through a maintenance hatch located in the side of the starship. Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight take out the 5 Crew members and Gunner stealthily before Supergiant gets into the command center of the ship and takes out the pilots and Grand Moff Tarkin. The Black Order takes control of the ship and starts gunning down the members of the Sigmaz. They are able to take out the TMNT, Shredder, Gurren Lagann, Vash the Stampede and Lobo. 

Goku has seen enough and decides to take action against the starship. He grabs multiple I-Beams and starts throwing them through the hull of the Executrix. Eventually the starship falls killing the Black Order in the ship and also takes out Blob when it crashes down to the City.

Nessa and Blade work together to take out the horror duo of Jason and Mike Meyers. Blade is able to take out Jason with ease but Mike Meyers' resilience to death was too much for Blade where eventually the masked man was able to chop Blade's head clean off with his axe. Though Mike Meyer’s resilience to death was not too strong for Nessa as she was able to defeat the infamous Michael Meyers. 

After all that craziness in the battle of the city. The Sigmas have Melkor, King Manwe, Varda and Nessa left alive. While the Sigmaz have Goku, Death and Spawn left. Spawn and Goku work together and are oddly quite efficient as teammates. Spawn shoots blasts of necroplasma at Varda to distract her while Goku sneaks behind her and punches her through the back and rips her spine out of her body. This angers King Manwe as Varda was his wife. He attacks with great vengeance while Nessa joins him. Nessa uses her great speed to get near Spawn as she dodges every single one of the necroplasma energy blasts that Spawn shoots. Once she gets close, she uses her powers given to her by Eru Illuvatar himself to turn into dust in one quick move. Though she was immediately taken out by one of Goku’s powerful energy blasts.

King Manwe, attacks Goku with his full vengeance but his effort was proven futile as Goku was able to use his superhuman speed and reaction time to dodge every single one of King manwe’s attacks. Though Goku is also not able to do any damage to King Manwe as his energy blasts prove to be useless against the power of King Manwe. Goku then calls upon the largest energy blasts he’s ever summoned. He screams as sends this blast into Manwe, Manwe doesn’t even try to dodge it as they have not affected him so far. But this blast was different, it cut through King Manwe's chest like a knife through butter and caused a huge dust cloud to appear. Once the dust settled Goku was seen to be dead with a huge hole in his chest as the energy blast he had produced took all of his life force to create. 

Now all that’s left is Death and Melkor. 

Death tries to attack Melkor by attempting to take his soul but she stands no chance as Melkor is the original dark lord and the creator of all evil. There is nothing Death can do but smile and wait. Melkor puts his fist at eye level between the two, clenches his fist and Death turns to dust and flies away in the winds of the city of the Playoff Planet.